Ray’s Round Table #8 - Food, Your Loss is Our Gain
All righty. Today we are fixing to have a round table parley similar to those on Sunday morning TV. In the best tradition of Media Liberal TV, and Media Conservative TV, all my guests, plus me, have incestuous relationships. Today I have my usual guests back. These usual guests are; Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, Druid News Service; Dr. Rayetta Pistrum, the Lovely Druidess Rayetta; and my bosom companion, Mr. Crumby Ovate.
Today’s topic, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain, is inspired by the recent secular holiday, Thanksgiving. Some may argue that Thanksgiving is an exclusively Mammonite holiday. But those Mammonites are possibly forgetting that Indians were invited to the first feast. That is because the Indians had most of the food, and the Mammonites wanted to share the Indians’ food.
Actually, the Mammonites wanted all the Indians’ food, but it took them awhile to figure out how to acquire all the Indians’ food. That came after the first feast. Anyway, because Indians got to participate in the first Thanksgiving, and those Indians were heathen pagans, just like Druids, Druids feel like Thanksgiving is a secular holiday, so we participate. Also, those Druids that work, get off.
Ms. Remains, in your capacity as Ace Reporter for the DNS, and time traveler, have you found the time to actually interview any of the participants at that first feast.
Why my goodness! Hello everyone. It’s me, Hope. Let me just stand up. Yes. I shall stand up and twirl about so that all the home viewers may espy my buckskin miniskirt and matching tiny vest. Don’t you surmise this is the cutest buckskin miniskirt and tiny vest ever, Rayetta?
Hmmm. Burp. You are pretty cute, all righty then. Burp.
Well! First thing I did was go shopping. I wanted an outfit for the feast that would let me blend in. Lomo, pan the camera down to my feet. See these nifty open toe, platform moccasins. Aren’t they precious. Goodness gracious, I had such a nice time at that feast. Everyone was so sweet.
Sit yourself down young lady. Stop that preening. Burp.
Well! I just wanted the home audience to espy how I looked at the feast, Rayetta.
Yeah, well they have espied plenty. So sit down and cross your legs for Goddess Sakes. Burp.
Well! Aren’t we grumpy today. OK. So then we are all having this swell feast. One of the sweet Mammonite boys brought me a big steaming bowl of corn mush with little fish in it. Or maybe, it was acorn mush. Yuck! I had a tiny taste just to be polite. Yuck! But everyone else dug in. All the Mammonites, dug in because they were starving, and our co-religionists, because they were use to the stuff.
Oh! First we prayed over the mush. That was very interesting. The Indians prayed, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain, just like Druids. But the Mammonites blamed, I mean thanked, God; not the Indians or the food, God.
I did some actual interviews too. Want me to spell everyone about those?
Er. Maybe not, Hope. We are running short of time. Plus, I espy that my sister is looking peeked around the eyes.
Well! If Miss Grumpy wants her turn, that’s OK by me.
Praise be to the Goddess! Hold it. Excuse me, Ms. Remains performance has loosened me up.
Uh. All righty then. My sister, Rayetta, the Lovely Druidess, looking peeked, has had to head to the Ladies’ Comfort Station. That leaves Crumby. Crumby, what’s your opinion, on, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain.
As you know Ray, I have long cultivated ties with the various Kingdoms, especially Plantae. Part and parcel of that cultivation led me to communicate with the various plants, especially those sweet potatoes that some call yams. Much I have gained from communication with the yams. Therefore, I am part yam. You might even spell, I yam what I yam. Huh-huh.
Yet, the important thing to remember, home audience, is, Food has a life of its own. You need to properly thank the food for having a life of its own. And especially, you don’t want to guzzle it all up unnecessarily. Eventually, if you keep guzzling it all up, with never a by your leave, there shall be no gain, anywhere, ever.
Uh. I wonder if Rayetta needs her bucket? I better go make sure Rayetta has her bucket. Hope, you may need to take Rayetta her bucket.
Well I swan! Now me, Hope, is a bucket bearer.
Mercy! All righty then. That’s it for Ray’s Round Table, post Thanksgiving Day Special, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain. Be sure to check in next week. The Round Table may try to figure out what St. Andrew did to deserve a holiday. And if what he did was so hot, how come we don’t get off work.
Watch out for the Wicker Man!!!!
Today’s topic, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain, is inspired by the recent secular holiday, Thanksgiving. Some may argue that Thanksgiving is an exclusively Mammonite holiday. But those Mammonites are possibly forgetting that Indians were invited to the first feast. That is because the Indians had most of the food, and the Mammonites wanted to share the Indians’ food.
Actually, the Mammonites wanted all the Indians’ food, but it took them awhile to figure out how to acquire all the Indians’ food. That came after the first feast. Anyway, because Indians got to participate in the first Thanksgiving, and those Indians were heathen pagans, just like Druids, Druids feel like Thanksgiving is a secular holiday, so we participate. Also, those Druids that work, get off.
Ms. Remains, in your capacity as Ace Reporter for the DNS, and time traveler, have you found the time to actually interview any of the participants at that first feast.
Why my goodness! Hello everyone. It’s me, Hope. Let me just stand up. Yes. I shall stand up and twirl about so that all the home viewers may espy my buckskin miniskirt and matching tiny vest. Don’t you surmise this is the cutest buckskin miniskirt and tiny vest ever, Rayetta?
Hmmm. Burp. You are pretty cute, all righty then. Burp.
Well! First thing I did was go shopping. I wanted an outfit for the feast that would let me blend in. Lomo, pan the camera down to my feet. See these nifty open toe, platform moccasins. Aren’t they precious. Goodness gracious, I had such a nice time at that feast. Everyone was so sweet.
Sit yourself down young lady. Stop that preening. Burp.
Well! I just wanted the home audience to espy how I looked at the feast, Rayetta.
Yeah, well they have espied plenty. So sit down and cross your legs for Goddess Sakes. Burp.
Well! Aren’t we grumpy today. OK. So then we are all having this swell feast. One of the sweet Mammonite boys brought me a big steaming bowl of corn mush with little fish in it. Or maybe, it was acorn mush. Yuck! I had a tiny taste just to be polite. Yuck! But everyone else dug in. All the Mammonites, dug in because they were starving, and our co-religionists, because they were use to the stuff.
Oh! First we prayed over the mush. That was very interesting. The Indians prayed, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain, just like Druids. But the Mammonites blamed, I mean thanked, God; not the Indians or the food, God.
I did some actual interviews too. Want me to spell everyone about those?
Er. Maybe not, Hope. We are running short of time. Plus, I espy that my sister is looking peeked around the eyes.
Well! If Miss Grumpy wants her turn, that’s OK by me.
Praise be to the Goddess! Hold it. Excuse me, Ms. Remains performance has loosened me up.
Uh. All righty then. My sister, Rayetta, the Lovely Druidess, looking peeked, has had to head to the Ladies’ Comfort Station. That leaves Crumby. Crumby, what’s your opinion, on, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain.
As you know Ray, I have long cultivated ties with the various Kingdoms, especially Plantae. Part and parcel of that cultivation led me to communicate with the various plants, especially those sweet potatoes that some call yams. Much I have gained from communication with the yams. Therefore, I am part yam. You might even spell, I yam what I yam. Huh-huh.
Yet, the important thing to remember, home audience, is, Food has a life of its own. You need to properly thank the food for having a life of its own. And especially, you don’t want to guzzle it all up unnecessarily. Eventually, if you keep guzzling it all up, with never a by your leave, there shall be no gain, anywhere, ever.
Uh. I wonder if Rayetta needs her bucket? I better go make sure Rayetta has her bucket. Hope, you may need to take Rayetta her bucket.
Well I swan! Now me, Hope, is a bucket bearer.
Mercy! All righty then. That’s it for Ray’s Round Table, post Thanksgiving Day Special, Food, Your Loss is Our Gain. Be sure to check in next week. The Round Table may try to figure out what St. Andrew did to deserve a holiday. And if what he did was so hot, how come we don’t get off work.
Watch out for the Wicker Man!!!!
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, November 25, 2007
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