A Sanitary Note, Solstice Day, The Ark Druid

Hi everyone. I am the continentally important, Ark Druid.

It is customary, for those reviewing products, like for example, the Galileo Gravitator, to insert a disclaimer in the review, something like,

I have no financial interest or stock in the company that manufactures the Galileo Gravitator, nor do any of my family or friends have such an interest, so far as I am aware.

Which brings up an interesting question. How the heck does the disclaimee possibly know that?

Take Crumby, for example. What if Crumby inserted a disclaimer regarding one of his many product reviews? Of course, Crumby never inserts disclaimers, but what if he did? Would Crumby actually know if he was spelling the truth. Course he would not. Given the incestuous relationship of Das Kapital, these days, that's impossible.

Well, what then, if somebody actually took the trouble to look into Crumby's financial interests, stock holdings, and those of his relatives? What if, say, the Kinglet directed his minions to research Crumby, on the basis of Crumby's disclaimer, or because the Kinglet felt like he did not like Crumby's attitude, or because he had read Crumby's body language. The Kinglet could do that, these days, you know. And then, once the Kinglet's minions felt like Crumby was lying and also speculating, Crumby would wind up in a dingy prison, the sickly light in his cell flashing constantly, 24/7, arhythmically, to the beat of Abba.

Once, Crumby was properly drugged and tortured, Crumby would then have to plead ignorant, true enough in Crumby's case, and throw himself on the mercy of the Kinglet's minions. At which time the Kinglet's minions would surely remind Crumby that, Ignorance is No Excuse!

You must confess, Crumby.

OK. I am entirely responsible for 9/11.

That's why, when reviewing a product, you should never, ever, insert a disclaimer. Because, you just do not, and can not, know if you are lying. That's how it is, these days, DY 2.