Rayetta is Shocked!
Yes I am, shocked, totally. Here I am. I worked hard, did hard work to educate myself. I even earned my Ph.D. All that I accomplished, on my own, because I worked hard and used my natural smarts to raise myself up by my bootstraps. I made progress.
There I was, a poor little orphan girl. Nobody knows how many of my siblings lived, besides Ray. I shall never know that. We were raised by aquatic moles for Goddess’ Sakes. Then Dr. Swineherd found us, wandering along the freeway in our diapers. Ray’s diapers were always dirty. I had to change his diapers myself. How about that? I had to change Ray’s diapers, yet I still had enough gumption left over to eventually earn a Ph.D.
Yet now I am having second thoughts. Why did I work so hard to raise myself, intellectually, to my current level? When alternatively, all I had to do was flop down on a mattress, spread my legs for a ruling class dude, then wait for the checks to arrive in the mail. I could have been rich, rich beyond my wildest dreams.
Hmmm. Is there such a thing as luck? We Druids discount luck as a silly notion. Yet luck may be a factor of life as we know it. This trollop, Ashley, for example, may be lucky. Boo-hoo-hoo!
No, no, no Rayetta. Do not despair so. First of all, Ashley is full of itsha. Plus, she probably caught something or other. She is not so lucky. Why, Elliot may have been a bad uckfa. For all we know, he may have been a bad uckfa with genital warts. Do not despair, Lovely Druidess. I can not stand to see you cry, thusly. Please, stop that crying. Yer crying, tugs at my heart strings, plus makes me really nervous.
It’s not fair, Crumby. It’s just not fair.
No, maybe not. Yet despair not Lovely Druidess. Ashley shall get what she deserves. Despite the acclamations of the Mammonites, and the envy she has engendered among those same Mammonites, who have gone so far as to open their wallets, Ashley shall get what she deserves, anon. Plus, right off the bat, consider this, Rayetta. Ashley is a man’s name. At least Dr. Swineherd did not appellate you with a man’s name. On top of that, Ashley is properly pronounced, Ishlee. How would you like that? See, if you were a mere strumpet, instead of the Lovely Druidess, gross old white boys with genital warts might be calling you Ishlee. They would say, Bend over Ishlee, I need to stick my warty weenie where the sun don’t shine. Then you would have to do just that, even if you didn’t fell like it, for the money.
Huh-huh. For once, you are correct Crumby. I shall despair no longer. The fact is, I need to get back to my busy schedule. To heck with Ishlee.
That’s my Lovely Druidess.
There I was, a poor little orphan girl. Nobody knows how many of my siblings lived, besides Ray. I shall never know that. We were raised by aquatic moles for Goddess’ Sakes. Then Dr. Swineherd found us, wandering along the freeway in our diapers. Ray’s diapers were always dirty. I had to change his diapers myself. How about that? I had to change Ray’s diapers, yet I still had enough gumption left over to eventually earn a Ph.D.
Yet now I am having second thoughts. Why did I work so hard to raise myself, intellectually, to my current level? When alternatively, all I had to do was flop down on a mattress, spread my legs for a ruling class dude, then wait for the checks to arrive in the mail. I could have been rich, rich beyond my wildest dreams.
Hmmm. Is there such a thing as luck? We Druids discount luck as a silly notion. Yet luck may be a factor of life as we know it. This trollop, Ashley, for example, may be lucky. Boo-hoo-hoo!
No, no, no Rayetta. Do not despair so. First of all, Ashley is full of itsha. Plus, she probably caught something or other. She is not so lucky. Why, Elliot may have been a bad uckfa. For all we know, he may have been a bad uckfa with genital warts. Do not despair, Lovely Druidess. I can not stand to see you cry, thusly. Please, stop that crying. Yer crying, tugs at my heart strings, plus makes me really nervous.
It’s not fair, Crumby. It’s just not fair.
No, maybe not. Yet despair not Lovely Druidess. Ashley shall get what she deserves. Despite the acclamations of the Mammonites, and the envy she has engendered among those same Mammonites, who have gone so far as to open their wallets, Ashley shall get what she deserves, anon. Plus, right off the bat, consider this, Rayetta. Ashley is a man’s name. At least Dr. Swineherd did not appellate you with a man’s name. On top of that, Ashley is properly pronounced, Ishlee. How would you like that? See, if you were a mere strumpet, instead of the Lovely Druidess, gross old white boys with genital warts might be calling you Ishlee. They would say, Bend over Ishlee, I need to stick my warty weenie where the sun don’t shine. Then you would have to do just that, even if you didn’t fell like it, for the money.
Huh-huh. For once, you are correct Crumby. I shall despair no longer. The fact is, I need to get back to my busy schedule. To heck with Ishlee.
That’s my Lovely Druidess.
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, March 16, 2008
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