Crumby, Back in the Stream

Mmmmm. Cereal. Just about every day I have a bowl of cereal. The cereals I favor are Grape Nuts and oat meal. During Beelzebubberriffic, I eat Grape Nuts. But during Polaris or Polar Bear, I eat oat meal. So my cereal of choice is seasonally related.

Then there are some other cereals I ate formerly. In the old days as I labored at Republican ecology, I ate lots of Raisin Bran. That's because Raisin Bran was often given away at the tourist court continental breakfast. Yep. I would get up early and go to the tourist court lobby and have a couple of big bowls of Raisin Bran. Then I would forlornly trudge back to my room and spell up that day's field notes into a report. Republican ecology reports have one thing going for them, they can be entirely, made up.

All that report spelling would take maybe an hour, counting some time spent performing ablutions. I always included ablution performances as work. Same difference. Then, after I had my report made up, Martha Stewart would generally be on the TV. I got lots of tips from Martha that have much succored me in these latter days, later in life. Many of those tips have helped to make me more popular than ever with the ladies. I use those tips to relate to the ladies. Course, TV with Martha was also, on the clock.

But then Martha got sent off to prison. I was profoundly influenced by Martha's incarceration. So much so, that I decided to forego my lucrative business as a professional Republican ecology shill.

Another interesting cereal that I occasionally eat is Puffins. Puffins, like many of the cereals foisted upon me when I was too little to defend myself, may also be consumed as a snack. Puffins is, in fact, very similar to Sugar Smacks. Mmmm, Sugar Smacks, a great source of nervous energy. Yepper. Sugar Smacks is the ideal breakfast for an active child headed off to Sunday School. Can I take the box wimme, Mama?

Want to try something different on your taste buds? Try Sugar Smacks, then Red Man. The contrast, both in taste and texture, is interesting. Plus, your jaw may lock up.

Puffins though, contain less nervous energy than Sugar Smacks. Plus Puffins may be more educational than Sugar Smacks. On the back of the Puffins box, the literate learn interesting facts, in fact, about Puffins. For example, a Puffin, the bird, can hold its breath for up to a minute.

Many may not know about the cereal product, Puffins. Yet Ray and I are not above boosting our favorite products in the venue. Ray especially is forever shamelessly promoting his favorite consumer items. So here's what Puffins looks like in the box. Also, see that tie draped on the box. That's my favorite tie. That tie can easily be worn without a shirt.

Ray and me have been working up a refinement of the ridiculous spell, "You are what you eat." That spell is ridiculous. But what about this? What if humans that eat the same foods become more and more alike? What if everybody ate nothing but Puffins for a year, and became, just like me? Well, maybe not just like me, but more like me. Ha! I bet they would too. We should all then have lots in common at the end of that famous year.