Ray's Rainfall Update - Day 339, DY 1

Don't stop, Ray. Don't stop.

Yes. I must stop. Some dark and sinister force is compelling me to check the all important rain gauge. I must stop, beautiful girlfriends.

Torn from the ample bosoms, dragged against my will, I cried piteously, Wait, can't I at least put my undears on?

The dark and sinister force relented, but just long enough for me to put my undears on, one leg at a time. Then I was hustled out, marched along through the frigid, stygian darkness, straight to the rain gauge. Please, dark and sinister force, it's dark and sinister out here, too dark to read the gauge.

Then an eerie light sprang up before me. Such an eerie light I have only encountered once before. I can't say where, maybe Homa, Louisiana. There that light was, hovering eerily about the gauge. Read the gauge Ray, a voice seemed to say. Find the miniscus, Ray.

Dang it! I'm fixing to read it.

What does it read, Ray. What does the miniscus indicate?

Er. 0.92".

All righty Ray. Now I shall hustle you along to the laboratory before you forget the enumeration, 0.92".

Hold it. Is that you Crumby?

Noper.

Sure it is. Dang it. I was fornicating, Crumby, fornicating. Now my beautiful girl friends lie abed, unfullfilled.

Yeah but, I thought you might need cheering up Ray. Reading the rain gauge always cheers a person up.

Man alive! Dang it!

Ray, do you remember what the miniscus read? I shall not release you until you repeat what the miniscus read. Actually, I shall not release you even then. No. I shall not release you until you have completed the rainfall update on the venue. Only then shall I set you free.

Whatever. 0.92".

Good Ray. Now head straight to the laboratory. It must be cold out there.

Ray marches straight to the laboratory.

Jeez Louise! OK. 47.76" + 0.92" = 48.86". There. Can I go now?

Praise the Goddess, Ray.

OK. 47.76" + 0.92" = 48.86". Praise be to the Merciful Goddess!

You may go.