Magnus Outsmarts the Child Molesters

Yes. Magnus was so focused on the dolmen and its environment that he failed to notice a whole village of child molesters sneaking up on him until it was almost too late. There they were, a whole village of them, including the village idiot, about 50m downslope to the south, their ominous shadows drawing even closer than 50m. Because at that time of year in those parts, Ogma Sunface was journeying far to the south.

Magnus eyed the child molesters. The child molesters eyed Magnus. Furtively, while simultaneously eyeing Magnus, the child molesters discoursed among themselves.

Yonder is an ugly boy child. Yet we could put its head in a burlap bag.

Aye! Huh-huh!

But we fear to approach yonder ominous dolmen.

Aye! Huh-huh!

That dolmen is ominous.

Aye! Huh-huh!

One of us needs to cajole the boy down to us.

Aye! Huh-huh!

I shall cajole that boy down. Yet if I cajole him down, I get to enjoy him first.

Aye! Huh-huh!

So the child molesters had a volunteer who was fixing to cajole Magnus down. The volunteer was the school marm, a young lady experienced with boys. Forth the school marm stepped out from the crowd of child molesters.

Come down little boy, and I shall give you some candy. Plus, I shall let you feel my bosoms. See my bosoms. Wouldn’t you like to play with my bosoms?

No. I shall not come down. Stop molesting me. Can’t you see I’m busy.

Magnus’s rebuff of their school marm stunned the villagers. All the villagers were proud of their school marm’s bosoms. In fact, those particular bosoms were the villages’ main claim to fame.

Well, that didn’t work. I know. Let’s send the idiot up. The idiot lacks sense, and fears not the dolmen. Yes. The idiot can capture that boy.

Aye! Huh-huh!

OK. Where’s the idiot? We need to organize the idiot.

Aye! Huh-huh!

Here he is. See this burlap bag?

Duh!

OK. Take this burlap bag, go up the hill, capture that boy, put him in the bag, then bring the boy, inside the bag, back down the hill to right here. Do you understand all that?

Duh!

Pretty soon the villagers shoved the village idiot from their midst. For a time the idiot headed out, and up, in the general direction of Magnus. Huh-huh, thought the villagers, our idiot shall soon fetch that boy down.

Yet, those are a lot of directions for an idiot to remember. After a while the idiot started to wander off in this direction or that, distracted by whatever. Espying that the idiot was not making good progress, all the villagers commenced yelling at him. The idiot, responding to the excited yelling, turned full about, grinning at the villagers, perplexedly.

Everyone yelled instructions at the idiot. But the idiot was confused and made no progress. Then the villagers anger and frustration boiled over like a cauldron with too long a fire set to its hind end.

I know. Let’s stone our idiot.

Aye! Huh-huh!

All the villagers scrambled about, seeking stones to cast at the miserable idiot.

Which led Magnus to the conclusion that he, Magnus, should hop it mighty quick. So away he went, his memory, intact.
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