Ray’s Round Table # 11 - Happy New Year, Day 2, DY 2
All righty. Today we are fixing to have a round table parley similar to those on Sunday morning TV. In the best tradition of Media Liberal TV, and Media Conservative TV, all my guests, plus me, have incestuous relationships. Today’s round table guests, just like last Sunday, are, Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, Druid News Service; Dr. Rayetta Pistrum, the Lovely Druidess Rayetta; and my bosom companion, Mr. Crumby Ovate.
Yepper. Me and my regular guests are embarked upon that same old annual journey around Ogma Sunface. That’s the big picture. But what shall be different about this journey versus all the others that preceded this one. Let’s ask my regular guests.
Ms. Remains, What’s the difference?
Well I’ll swan, Ray. The difference is me. I shall be different. I shall maintain a constant, low mass, rather than a variable mass. That should take some stress off poor Planet Earth. No more fretting over little me, Ray.
Gee sweetie. I never noticed that your mass varied.
Perhaps you didn’t Ray, sugar. But it did. Those grams can add up in the wrong spots. But I shall keep those grams off those spots this year. That’s the difference. I’m really serious too.
Well, all righty then. Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, is fixing to cut Planet Earth some slack on stress issues for the remainder of this year, DY 2. I think that’s terrific. Goddess knows, Planet Earth needs less stress.
What about you, Dr. Pistrum, What’s the difference?
The difference is Ray, I would like to go first on the Round Table, then leave, so I don’t have to be here for the rest of it, sugar, sweetie.
But Rayetta, you are our science expert. If you leave, how shall we know when we are foisting ridiculous hypotheses and theories on to the unsuspecting home audience? What shall we do then, without you, Dr. Pistrum, here to correct our opinions?
Tough Ray. The Ark Druid is correct. Ray’s Round Table is a burlesque. Either I get to go first, and leave, or I quit. Besides, look where Lomo has the camera pointing even now, at Hope.
Er. Lomo! Stop that! Put the camera on Dr. Pistrum. Dr. Pistrum is making an important critique of my Round Table and deserves the courtesy of a camera presence. Anyway, how come the camera is on Hope, anyway, when Dr. Pistrum is spelling? Answer that, Lomo.
Polls show Home Audience like watch Hope adjust. Lomo go by polls.
Dang it! OK Lomo. From now on, you put the camera on the head that’s talking, period. Like right now. Put in on me. Dang it! Sorry sis. I didn’t know Lomo had made an executive decision based on Hope, entirely.
But Ray, sugar. If the Home Audience likes to see more me, Hope. What’s wrong with that?
Never mind that now sweetie. After the show we shall have a meeting. Then, at the meeting we shall get some things straight, regarding Ray’s Round Table methodology. We may need a script, for example. And that dang Lomo needs to put the camera on me, now. Lomo! I aint a gonna tell ye agin!
Dang it! All righty then, looks like Ray’s Round Table is out of time. Watch out for the Wicker Man!
_____
Hey! What about me, Ray, yer bosom companion? What about my opinion? I got an opinion. Plus, I want to introduce my pal, Magnus Magnetico, Necromancer. What about that?
Sorry Crumby. We’re off the air.
Yepper. Me and my regular guests are embarked upon that same old annual journey around Ogma Sunface. That’s the big picture. But what shall be different about this journey versus all the others that preceded this one. Let’s ask my regular guests.
Ms. Remains, What’s the difference?
Well I’ll swan, Ray. The difference is me. I shall be different. I shall maintain a constant, low mass, rather than a variable mass. That should take some stress off poor Planet Earth. No more fretting over little me, Ray.
Gee sweetie. I never noticed that your mass varied.
Perhaps you didn’t Ray, sugar. But it did. Those grams can add up in the wrong spots. But I shall keep those grams off those spots this year. That’s the difference. I’m really serious too.
Well, all righty then. Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, is fixing to cut Planet Earth some slack on stress issues for the remainder of this year, DY 2. I think that’s terrific. Goddess knows, Planet Earth needs less stress.
What about you, Dr. Pistrum, What’s the difference?
The difference is Ray, I would like to go first on the Round Table, then leave, so I don’t have to be here for the rest of it, sugar, sweetie.
But Rayetta, you are our science expert. If you leave, how shall we know when we are foisting ridiculous hypotheses and theories on to the unsuspecting home audience? What shall we do then, without you, Dr. Pistrum, here to correct our opinions?
Tough Ray. The Ark Druid is correct. Ray’s Round Table is a burlesque. Either I get to go first, and leave, or I quit. Besides, look where Lomo has the camera pointing even now, at Hope.
Er. Lomo! Stop that! Put the camera on Dr. Pistrum. Dr. Pistrum is making an important critique of my Round Table and deserves the courtesy of a camera presence. Anyway, how come the camera is on Hope, anyway, when Dr. Pistrum is spelling? Answer that, Lomo.
Polls show Home Audience like watch Hope adjust. Lomo go by polls.
Dang it! OK Lomo. From now on, you put the camera on the head that’s talking, period. Like right now. Put in on me. Dang it! Sorry sis. I didn’t know Lomo had made an executive decision based on Hope, entirely.
But Ray, sugar. If the Home Audience likes to see more me, Hope. What’s wrong with that?
Never mind that now sweetie. After the show we shall have a meeting. Then, at the meeting we shall get some things straight, regarding Ray’s Round Table methodology. We may need a script, for example. And that dang Lomo needs to put the camera on me, now. Lomo! I aint a gonna tell ye agin!
Dang it! All righty then, looks like Ray’s Round Table is out of time. Watch out for the Wicker Man!
_____
Hey! What about me, Ray, yer bosom companion? What about my opinion? I got an opinion. Plus, I want to introduce my pal, Magnus Magnetico, Necromancer. What about that?
Sorry Crumby. We’re off the air.
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, December 23, 2007
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