The Finest Means of Transport, Ever!
What is the finest way to get around? Easy that. The answer is bicycle. Yet the humble bicycle is good for lots more than just a ride to the liquor store or the neighborhood dope dealer. Yes. A bicycle is plenty useful besides or in addition to, all that. Goodness, gracious sakes!
OK. Like back in the year of the Julian, 2000, Rayetta gave Crumby a Seiko watch. That particular watch broke a few years back. Since then, Crumby has gone through a couple of ultra-cheap and shitty Coleman watches. Jeez Louise!
Now that the second Coleman has officially expired, Crumby got to yearning for a new time piece or wristwatch of a better caliber than the twain miserable Colemans. So naturally Crumby hustled out his broke or discredited Seiko. He needed to measure the various dimensions of his Seiko to establish whether a new watch needed to be of similar dimensions for the sake of comfort and compatibility with Crumby's important status as an Ovate of the White Goddess (WG).
But lo and behold or lo and behind. The dang Seiko, all of a sudden, started working. Yes. Started working even after Crumby had ordered a new watch off EBAY. What the heck? All I did was clean off most of the body cheese and reset the date. Away that sucker went. Mercy sakes alive!
All righty. It says here that if I swing my arm up and down 1,750 times, my Seiko kinetic shall be fired up, charged, electrified, fer a whole plumb, dern week. Ixna ona attha. Hmm. There is no way that a bicycle owner is fixing to put up with 1,750 arm swings to fully charge a dang wristwatch. No. Crumby, the owner of a red Blade, alternatively, taped that over-active or over-sexed Seiko to the spokes of the bike. Crumby employed the fine product, Gorilla tape for the tape job. So far, Gorilla tape has never let Crumby down.
Then, Crumby rode up and down in front of the CB fer a great many iterations until that Seiko was charged to the max. We are talking plenty of electicity. Enough electricity to fry most of the death row boys at Huntsville. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip! Enough electricity to run the AC at the CB for a couple of nanoseconds maybe.
Now the stupid watch, according to Seiko, is supposed to run for a week on the invested bicycle power. Yet the test is, the funky capacitor has to hold charge all night. Then, next morining, it msut exhibit the correct time plus hand inertia. Doctor! Under some cirumstances I can't keep my hand still!
Of course, Crumby at one time felt like he needed to send his Seiko kinetic in for repair since it was a gift from Rayetta and all. But the repair dudes said, It shall cost more to fix this watch of yours, Crumby, than Rayetta paid. Whoa! Gracious sakes alive! $285. The petit-bougeoisie is not what it used to be. Mercy!
These days, thanks to the www, Crumby may have a fix it yerself or diy option even if his Seiko kinetic slumbers on in the AM anon. Yes. Crumby may need to fix it himself.
But meantime, Crumby has ordered up a new watch off EBAY. It is a Timex. It features the Iniglo technology plus the perpetual calendar. Perpetual calendar. What a great idea that is. How many watches have the average people posessed on which the date was only set once during the lifetime of that particular watch. Millions, Crumby bets. Or they set it twice, maybe.
OK. Like back in the year of the Julian, 2000, Rayetta gave Crumby a Seiko watch. That particular watch broke a few years back. Since then, Crumby has gone through a couple of ultra-cheap and shitty Coleman watches. Jeez Louise!
Now that the second Coleman has officially expired, Crumby got to yearning for a new time piece or wristwatch of a better caliber than the twain miserable Colemans. So naturally Crumby hustled out his broke or discredited Seiko. He needed to measure the various dimensions of his Seiko to establish whether a new watch needed to be of similar dimensions for the sake of comfort and compatibility with Crumby's important status as an Ovate of the White Goddess (WG).
But lo and behold or lo and behind. The dang Seiko, all of a sudden, started working. Yes. Started working even after Crumby had ordered a new watch off EBAY. What the heck? All I did was clean off most of the body cheese and reset the date. Away that sucker went. Mercy sakes alive!
All righty. It says here that if I swing my arm up and down 1,750 times, my Seiko kinetic shall be fired up, charged, electrified, fer a whole plumb, dern week. Ixna ona attha. Hmm. There is no way that a bicycle owner is fixing to put up with 1,750 arm swings to fully charge a dang wristwatch. No. Crumby, the owner of a red Blade, alternatively, taped that over-active or over-sexed Seiko to the spokes of the bike. Crumby employed the fine product, Gorilla tape for the tape job. So far, Gorilla tape has never let Crumby down.
Then, Crumby rode up and down in front of the CB fer a great many iterations until that Seiko was charged to the max. We are talking plenty of electicity. Enough electricity to fry most of the death row boys at Huntsville. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip! Enough electricity to run the AC at the CB for a couple of nanoseconds maybe.
Now the stupid watch, according to Seiko, is supposed to run for a week on the invested bicycle power. Yet the test is, the funky capacitor has to hold charge all night. Then, next morining, it msut exhibit the correct time plus hand inertia. Doctor! Under some cirumstances I can't keep my hand still!
Of course, Crumby at one time felt like he needed to send his Seiko kinetic in for repair since it was a gift from Rayetta and all. But the repair dudes said, It shall cost more to fix this watch of yours, Crumby, than Rayetta paid. Whoa! Gracious sakes alive! $285. The petit-bougeoisie is not what it used to be. Mercy!
These days, thanks to the www, Crumby may have a fix it yerself or diy option even if his Seiko kinetic slumbers on in the AM anon. Yes. Crumby may need to fix it himself.
But meantime, Crumby has ordered up a new watch off EBAY. It is a Timex. It features the Iniglo technology plus the perpetual calendar. Perpetual calendar. What a great idea that is. How many watches have the average people posessed on which the date was only set once during the lifetime of that particular watch. Millions, Crumby bets. Or they set it twice, maybe.
posted by ray pistrum at Saturday, September 10, 2011
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