Sak Mass

All you knives are goin' to Hell.  Ha, ha, ha!

Noper.   Not that kind of mass.  Instead, we are now discussing the relative heftiness of Crumby's many saks.

Model Mass

Wenger

Watchmaker   22g
Pocket Tool Chest   37g
Ranger 151   92g
Tradesman 106g
Matterhorn (new one) 106g
Minathor (fully tool loaded) 139g
Monarch 140g
Champ 164g
Biker 37 176g

Victorinox

Watch Case Opener   22g
Gardener  35g
Pruner   35g
Grafter  56g
Waiter   34g
Electrician  38g
Mini Champ   44g
Spartan  59g
Compact  64g
Camper  75g
Passenger (home made)   78g
Trail Guide   82g
Climber  84g
Mechanic 100g
Explorer (8x, hook,
mini screwdriver)                 102g
Explorer (Al tweezer,
no hook)                         103g
Original Outdoorsman 118g
Outdoorsman 132g
Champ Plus (plastic mag) 149g
Champ Plus (new glass mag) 150g

Marlboro Adventure Team

Crumby has belatedly merged with or volunteered into the Marlboro Adventure Team ranks with the purchase of a Trail Guide.  Near as Crumby can figure out, the heyday of the Adventure Team was back in 1993-1994, but it may have puffed along for a good while after that.  Regardless, there are still plenty of Adventure Team artifacts (gear) for sale on EBAY.

Crumby's big concern regarding these artifacts is, Do they smell like cigarettes?  Like for example, a suede bomber jacket for $29.95 is a good deal.   But not if it stinks to high heaven,  like cigarette smoke.  Mercy!

Yet Crumby was willing to take a chance on a Marlboro Adventure Team Victorinox Swiss Army Knife known as the Trail Guide.  The Trail Guide features plus scales with pen, metal file, scissors, corkscrew with mini-screwdriver and a combo tool.  So it's actually a Compact with a metal file added;  a handy combination of useful tools.  Not necessarily tools one might assume go with Trail Guide, but handy nonetheless.  The Ovate's Trail Guide came in its original box and includes instructions in four languages on how to operate the combo tool by yourself.

Crumby was super afraid the box would smell like cigarette smoke and be all yellow.  However, praise the Goddess, it's not.  Just a couple of smudges on the box, maybe from nicotine stained fingers.  Hallelujah!

Hmm.  Actually it's twain boxes.  There's a Victorinox box inside the Marlboro box.

Alas, back in the 90s, Crumby self-medicated with chewing tobacco or mostly snuff; thus, missing out on the Marlboro Adventure Team festivities and prizes.  Seems like none of the tobacco products Crumby enjoyed featured rewards for maximized product use. That is until the American Snuff Company gave away free knives with purchases of Grizzly Snuff, Crumby's favorite brand. Crumby received at least four knives during the give away including these two.  The others were lost or given away.  They are not very good knives.

Time and the Walking Dead

Or, How to waste the time you have, left.

Crumby first became a viewer of The Walking Dead while convalescing from quadruple bypass surgery.   Yepper.  Sadly, post surgery, Crumby has watched more TV than less.  Assuming TV is bad for the living and neutral for the dead, then more TV is worse than less TV, and therefore, not good.  The opposite of good is bad.  Maybe evil.  The medium is the message.  But what the heck.  If Crumby was good in the first place, he would already be dead.

Oddly, Crumby never felt much kinship with the Walkers.  Even though, Crumby, at the time,  more resembled a Walker than any living member of the show.  Yes.  There was Crumby, practically dead himself, barely shuffling along, yet unable to empathize with the similarly miserable Walkers.  Shucks! So much for drinking your own piss.

By the time Crumby merged into the vast Walking Dead TV audience herd, the show was already in its third season.  Happily though, all the episodes are/were on demand.  Plus, the start of each season, or hemi-season, features a Walking Dead marathon.  Crumby had no difficulty in catching up or viewing all the various episodes, fast forwarding when the going got dull or too annoying (Andrea talking).

Many may recall the Druids belief, You get what you deserve.  Druids, like all religious people, like to see their beliefs confirmed on TV.  Accordingly, Rick continues to get what he deserves for riding a horse he rustled into zombie town.  Goddess knows how that horse accrued sufficient bad karma to first, encounter Rick, then, thanks be to Rick, get eaten alive by wretched zombies.  Soon as Crumby espied that scene, Crumby surmised, aha.  Rick, you are fixing to suffer, suffer, suffer.  And Rick has suffered plenty.  But not enough. No.  Not even the big boy whipping he took off the governor entirely  pays Rick back.

Time is emit, spelled backwards.   Somewhere, sometime, a responsible party, perhaps an immortal,  may have emitted time.  For us, Earthlings, the only question is, does time travel in a straight line away from its point of origin, going that-a-way forever, or does it proceed in a circular pattern or ellipse, eventually intersecting its point of origin, again and again and again and again; at least four times. Mercy!

How many Walkers wear watches?  Like, possibly a Walker, yea verily, even in Georgia,  could be sporting a Patek Phillipe or a Rolex. But do the living ever check Walkers for valuable watches?  Not that Crumby has observed.  And remember, Crumby has watched every episode, carefully.  Every one.

What about Walkers’ pockets, fanny packs, sheaths or scabbards?  That’s right!  Walkers could be toting interesting or useful Swiss Army knives (SAKs).   A SAK, much like a watch, is useless to a non-tool using Walker.   But of great potential interest or utility to a living SAK collector.

Crumby’s point here is that Walkers (Michonne’s inventiveness aside) are an untapped resource.  Who knows, Walker may even be edible.   Has anybody tried Walker?  Walker may taste like chicken.  Or even eggplant. Plus, someday, the living need to quit scavenging, nut up, and start harvesting. Mmm!  Walker BBQ, southern style.  Simmered in vinegar. Tastes like pork!

Time passes slowly on The Walking Dead compared to viewer time.  Yet the actors age at the same rate as viewers, most notably, Karl.  Yes.  Karl has aged several years, real time,  in a few weeks, show time.  That’s why Rick’s Episode 4/9 pronouncement, “It’s for you.” freaked out or froze the blood of the Crumby Ovate.  Mercy!  Where’s this going?

Yes.  Alas, Karl’s pubescence is imminent if not passe.  But surely Michonne is not for Karl.  Too troubling on many levels. Rick needs to suffer even more for that remark.  More, more more!  You need to suffer more, Rick!

There it is again.  Rick used to be a low level government servant, underpaid.  under appreciated, doing his best to protect an ingrate public from itself.   Then, post apocalypse, Rick is saddled with a great many trials ans tribulations.  Crumby should feel empathy for Rick.  Just like Crumby should have felt empathy for the Walkers.  But no.  Suffer Rick, suffer!

Unlike ( would anybody really miss him) Karl, Daryl, mustache not withstanding,  may have missed out on pubescence, entirely.  Like maybe Carol was not Daryl’s type.  But Beth.  Whoa!  What kind of a real man would pass on Carol plus Beth?

Maybe though, just maybe, Daryl is like that famous son of Sir Lancelot, Galahad, who, through his even more famous father, was descended from the still more famous Jesus, pronounced Hey’sus. If Daryl is like Galahad, that would explain his seeming disinterest in the ladies.  Yes.  Daryl is operating on a higher level.  He is on a quest; a quest to do or find something.  Time may tell.

Victorinox Electrician's Knife

This is the discontinued, diminutive 84mm version of the Victorinox electrician's knife.  Crumby just got it.   Rumor has it that these were originally sold at Radioshack.  Nothing about Crumby's indicates its Radioshack origin.

Rumor also has it that the name, electrician's knife, derives from the small sheepsfoot blade; the scalloped out lower portion of which may be employed as a wire scraper or stripper.  So, Crumby reckons electrician's knife is as good a name as any.  Course, really,  any knife employed by an electrician delving into the magic of electricity, might be deemed an electrician's knife.  You think?  

Technically,  the 84mm size of this knife opens a new collecting front for Crumby.  It's only Crumby's second 84mm.  Crumby is undecided whether he wants to do a serious tool-centric collection of these 84's, since he already collects 85mm Wengers.  You've got to draw the line somewhere.

An Original Outdoorsman

Crumby succumbed for a time to the lure of  the SAK scale.  Then after losing several collectible, desirable  SAKs on EBAY to more determined or crafty scale shoppers, Crumby thought out loud,  Sour grapes for all you dern f*****s.  Then, Crumby was too busy sulking to bid on any more SAKs for a while.  Yet now, many days later, Crumby only remembers one of the items he lost, a Wenger Galahad which Crumby wanted as an example of the Dynasty Series scale type. Other than nifty scales, the Galahad is unremarkable.

Happily,  Crumby is now over scale lust for the time being and back to tool-centric collecting.  A result, the recent acquisition of a very nice Original Outdoorsman.  Pictured are the twain characteristic tools of the Original Outdoorsman, the small pruner blade and the serrated main blade.  Crumby figures this Original Outdoorsman is a late 70s version.

Don't Blame the Guvment, Blame the People

Like either the US is a democracy, or it aint.  If it is, blame the people, not the government.  If it aint a democracy, blame the government.  Is that simple?   Er whut?

Yes.  Crumby had to go out in public today to purchase a libation.  But as Crumby paid for the libation, the subject of coinage cost came up.  Inevitably coinage is a feature of the cash transaction.  And the lady fixing to collect Crumby's coinage pointed out that a cent costs two cents to make.   Thus, more than hinting that government  is to blame for making pennies that cost two cents.

Not wishing to take a cashier's word for much, Crumby decided to look up the cost of a Lincoln.  Turns out, only briefly did the government charge the taxpayer two cents per penny.  Now, it's only about 1.5 cents per penny.  Or maybe less.  It's like the cost of copper versus zinc.  Who knows?

Yet if Americanoland is a democracy, we could easily control the cost of a penny via the electoral process.  How well does that work?  Huh-huh.

Happily,  paper money is cost effective.  Yes.  Paper money is so cost effective that it can easily make up for the cost of many pennies.  Even, pennies from heaven.

All Holes Must Be Filled

A famous French existentialist once reasoned that "All holes must be filled."   If true, then the same probably applies to slots.  Like the slots on Crumby's Minathor.

It's true.  The regular Wenger Minathor comes with only eight tiny tools.  But the holder for the tiny tools has 12 slots.  Which means that four of the slots come empty or virginal.

Many may recall that four is Crumby's magic number.  From which comes the famous saying, that's four for the Crumby Ovate. So Crumby was not surprised by the opportunity to fill the four empty slots afforded by his purchase of the Minathor.

But Crumby needed to decide which particular tiny tools would need to go in the four empty slots.  Crumby also needed to figure out which tiny tools for the Minathor are extant.   Yet the only place Crumby found a good selection of Minathor tiny tools is Otto Frei online.  Not only does Otto Frei carry the full complement of Minathor replacement tiny tools and the Bergeron tiny tool Complement Set, he also has a general assortment of tiny tools that fit the slots and the tiny tool handle.  Goodness!

Crumby chose the following tiny tools for his Minathor's slots:  1, 1.5, 2mm pin punches, and 2mm Phillps and standard screwdrivers.  Hmm.  Those good at ciphering will espy that the total we are now discussing is five, not four.  So Crumby has one too many tiny tools relative to the slots available.  Crumby had to order five tools because the minimum order at Otto's is $15 excluding postage.   So that niggling annoyance accounts for the fifth tiny tool purchased with no slot available.

Here's a picture of one side of the tiny tool holder with all slots filled.

Patriot vs. Pocket Pal (may contain factual errata)

Well.  Everyone knows about patriots. So a knife named Patriot should not confuse anybody.  It's like patriotic.

But what about Pocket Pal?   Jeez Louise!  Yet the Pocket Pal has triumphed over the Patriot by virtue of the Victorinox victory over Wenger.  Will the Patriot cease to exist?  Crumby hopes so.  Yet maybe Victorinox shall now designate all future Pocket Pals as Patriots.  Thus making a sad world, sadder.

Both are (were) one layer, two blade knives with, usually, aluminum scales.    The original, now rare, Pocket Pals feature a vibrator tool.  Which is how the Pocket Pal got its name in the first place.

The Newest Victorinox Magnifier

Monkey see, monkey do.  That's right.  Crumby saw that they were discussing a change in the Victorinox magnifier at the Swiss forum or maybe the Mod Squad forum on Multitool.org.  So naturally, Crumby needed to compare the magnifiers on his twain Champion Pluses.  Here that is.  The background diagrams are from Victorinox.  Hopefully, they won't care that Crumby used them in his picture.  Hmm.  Actually, Ray took the picture.  It's Ray's picture.

Regardless, these magnifiers are obviously not the same difference.  But what are the different differences?  OK.  The differences we are fixing to discuss shall proceed from most to least obvious.  Also, the differences we are fixing to discuss are just those differences apparent with the magnifiers actually fixed in the knives.  So an average collector, aware of these differences can tell the type magnifiers apart at a glance.  The most obvious difference is the shape of the magnifier frame.  See how concave the top of the frame is on the 2nd generation.  Not so noticeable on the actual magnifiers as on the diagram.  Next, check out how the twain magnifiers enlarge the rule.  Obviously, the 3rd generation is the more powerful.  Finally, on Crumby's samples, the frame plastic is granulated on the 2nd generation, while it is smooth on the third generation.  Unfortunately, the granulation does not show up in the picture in this venue, even enlarged.  However, it is obvious in real life.  Crumby would be interested to learn if  the granulation difference repeats.

Birding vs. Sak collecting

Many have queried,  Crumby, as a veteran of both birding and Swiss army knife (Sak) collecting, which of those twain do you feel like is the better hobby?

This question, like any smart question, as opposed to the more common, stupid question, can be rephrased as a Druid dichotomy. Which might be stated as so or so. Which would you rather do for a hobby; bird or collect Saks.  That is a merciless dichotomy fer sure, assuming the average hobby enthusiast would have to absolutely quit or totally give up on one or the other. But assuming an absolute bifurcation, necessitating the choice of one pathway only, Crumby would give up birding.

To explain why, Crumby must first sum up a few of the negatives of the birding hobby.

1)  Many, maybe most, birders are assholes.
2)  Birders, like birds, need to flock together.
3)  Therefore, the odds of associating with an asshole while birding are sadly excellent.
4)  In no trespassing happy La Republica duh Tejas, birders are forced to associate together in a relatively few, small, far flung  public areas.
5)  Thus concentrating the assholes even more.
6)  Crumby could go on, but that's more than enough.

Sak collecting, on the other hand, is solitary by nature.  Why, even the world's least washed hermit could easily collect Saks without aggravation so long as he or she had internet access and a PayPal account.  And the Sak collecting hermit we are now discussing should only encounter the occasional asshole among the many purveyors of Saks, and those, only remotely, via the miracle of electricity.

However, since Crumby introduced the topic, electricity, it must be spelled that the magic of electric photography has enlivened the birding hobby, considerably, with artifacts.   Here's one of a million photos taken of the Burnett County, long-tailed duck.