Winter Weed Eve

All righty then. To kick off our holiday, Imbolc, the Winter Weed Festival, we shall think positively about all the winter weeds. Winter weed number one, basal rosette mode, is (Silybum marianum) or Mary’ milk thistle. In the picture it is habitating on a pile of fill dirt in a parking lot. The Bic auto pencil is there for scale.

What can I say, positive. Er. If this Mary’s milk thistle was not habitating on the fill dirt, some other introduced winter weed might be on that same spot instead of Mary’s milk thistle. Another positive is that this Mary’s milk thistle is not at the CB. Er. However, we have been thinking about cultivating some thistles, just not this one.

Winter weed number two, basal rosette mode, is (Centaurea melitensis) or Malta star thistle. It seems to be in all the roadside re-vegetation seed mixes used in these parts. Not only is Malta star thistle a winter weed, but it is also a sidewalk crack weed and a pavement crack weed in general. In these capacities it affords shade to whatever may get under it and whatever is seeking to find some shade in a parking lot. Of course, the shade seeker must be fairly short to get under it. Actually, this one is extraordinarily big, considering its in a parking lot crack plus the time of year.

Both these introduced thistles sport sharp prickles on one or another of their body parts. That’s positive because it keeps people from handling them too familiarly.

There you have it, Winter Weed Festival kicked off on a positive note. Oh, Rayetta wanted me to mention that if you stare at the Mary’ milk thistle too long, you may become discombobulated.

And Crumby found a Psocopteran instar far along toward having functional wings. Where’d you find this one Crumby?

Helianthus annua receptacle, Ray.

All righty then.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Winter Weed Festival Eve

Yepper. Winter Weed Festival Day is tomorrow, Day 43 of DY 1, Season of the Polar Bear. All the Druids at the CB are hard at work monitoring the winter weeds. But the casual trespasser to the CB might presume that we do not have many winter weeds. We do have a good many though, just not many relatively speaking. So monitoring the winter weeds these days at the CB is desultory rather than intensive.

Remember that Druids like to have plants around that are generally native to these parts. That means we select for those type plants and de-select the non-natives. Years of de-selecting the non-native has made winter weed monitoring desultory at the CB because there are not many of them here, due to de-selection.

However, we do have a good many native winter weeds, plus some delicious dandelions (Taraxacum officinale)and a very troublesome non-native vetch. The very troublesome non-native vetch (Vicia sativa) has mastered the Druids. It is mainly concentrated in and around the bar ditch out front and we can not suppress or de-select it. It is impossible to get shut of employing our labor intensive methods. We might get shut of it if we called in Tom Delay, but that would be unethical. Besides, might, is the operational term when you deal with Tom. Noper, herbiciding the bar ditch is not an option.

All righty then. For the next few days, as our little planet wobbles perilously onward through time and space, adjusting to fatter babies, a rising thermometer, and no telling what else, the Druids shall focus on winter weeds. Happy Imbolc, everyone we both know and like. Happy Winter Weed Festival!!!!

Crumby Can Not Sleep!!!!

Yer keeping me up Crumby. Go on Crumby. Go do something.

All righty then. I shall then get on up and go see if I can find something interesting to do.

Go on. I’m trying to sleep.

So here I am. Just after trying to find something interesting to do I decided to write something up for the venue and this is what I came up with.

There are many reasons that I sometimes can not go to sleep. But perhaps the most troubling aspect of fixing to go to sleep is trying to figure out what to do with my arms. All the rest of me seems to be naturally inclined to restful repose upon the Ample Bosoms, except these arms. I never feel quite right about where they should go. Often, even after I do go to sleep, my arms wake me up. They have twisted themselves into awkward, uncomfortable positions or got under some other part of me and cut off their circulation. Why do they do that? They even get themselves trapped under the headboard. When that happens I always wake up, fearful that the demons have got me.

Generally, my ovational skills warn me when these arms are apt to have a particularly fitful night and I try to take a precaution with them. But the only precaution I have come up with is to lie on my back with my arms folded across my breast. This funereal posture, though, always reminds me of funerals which are not a good thing to remember when you are fixing to go to sleep. Anyway, thinking about funerals never helps me go to sleep. Pretty soon I weary of eidetic memories of the various departed, displayed in pose similar to mine own, and roll over. Anon, one of my arms is trapped and wakes me up again. It cries out. I’m trapped. Yer cutting off my circulation.

I am the only person I know who has this restless arm problem. However, it may be a common enough affliction, but an affliction that is too shameful for those afflicted with Crumby’s restless arm syndrome (CRAS) to own up to in public. So I have come forth to let all the CRAS sufferers know that they are not alone. They need not suffer, all alone. Well actually, they do need to continue to suffer pretty much all alone, but now they shall know that at least one other sufferer is likewise suffering all alone too.

Er. Perhaps I should contact a responsible yet kindly party, like Oprah for example, and Oprah shall help me spread the word about this shameful condition. That’s the ticket. I shall write Oprah a letter. This upcoming letter to Oprah shall describe CRAS and its loathsome symptoms in such ghastly yet pitiful terms that Oprah shall open her heart to all the legions of the CRAS afflicted and help us all to hope that we, or our children, or our children’s children or somewhere down the line, shall get some relief from this shameful, silent killer, CRAS. Uh, oh.

No you won't Crumby. You shall not pester Oprah with a letter. And for Goddess Sakes stop talking to yourself out loud, so loud. How do you expect anyone to get any sleep around here? Shut up, Crumby. Now I am going back to bed and I don't want to hear another peep out of you.

Er. Shush. OK. I have to keep very quiet so as not to disturb the CB. But I think everyone may espy from the preceeding what a hideously tedious syndrome CRAS really is. Additional CRAS sufferers, you are not alone!!!!

Rayetta and Crumby Ascertain Order Acari - The Mites and Ticks

Hmmm. I surmise that what we are dealing with here, Crumby, are members of either the Suborder Tarsonnemini or the Suborder Prostigmata, or the Suborder Oribatei, most likely the Suborder Prostigmata. These are possibly spider mites. Crumby , have you had any luck getting them to hold still?

Noper.

Course not, they run away from the light. And the bigger instars are nimble. Plus, CO2 probably riles them up. These CB mites dwell upon the phyllaries and amid the bracts, gnawing upon the presumptive fruiting bodies that are called by some, presumptive achenes. We have espied a great many of these mites in both Zexmenia hispida and Helianthus annua heads. Right Crumby.

Correct Rayetta.

Put some of the heads in the icebox, Crumby. Let's see if that slows them down.

All righty then, Rayetta, but it was freezing outside when I collected the heads. So freezing them may not slow them down.

Nevertheless Crumby, I want them slowed down. Put them in the freezer.

All righty then.

While Crumby is putting the mites in the refrigerator, I shall take this opportunity to reference Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, DNS, preview of the Kinglet's State of the Union address which reflects more upon what our ignoramus Kinglet thinks about, and what he is actually apt to do, rather than his actual address which somebody else wrote for him anyway. Remember that Hope indicated that our ignoramus Kinglet desires to attack the miserable Iranians to divert our attention away from his on-going attack on the miserable Iraqis. As Hope pointed out, the miserable Iraqis, after more than three years, still have no air conditioning and we are not seeing any flat tax revenue. That being so, the Kinglet has decided to attack miserable Iran. So he is busy making up justifications for attacking the miserable Iranians, offering to cluster bomb their primitive air conditioners, and fix them up with a fair, flat tax system.

Because the Kinglet is an ignoramus, it is impossible for the Druids to explain why he is fixing to attack the miserable Iranians, instead of, alternatively, the corpulent Saudis. But that's the way it is. Sometimes Druids can not understand the processes whereby ignoramuses come to conclusions. It seems to us that the Saudis are way more deserving of a good cluster bombing than the miserable Iranians. Plus, the US could steal way more from the Saudis if we instituted a fair, flat tax in Saudi Arabia, than we could ever steal from the miserable Iranians.

All righty then, here comes Crumby back from the refrigerator. Crumby, go fetch in some more receptacles.

All righty then, Rayetta.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Locked On, Socked On, Around We Go

As everybody knows, the US cultural merry-go-round has the Demon Mammon at the controls. The Demon Mammon wants us all to really enjoy the ride, so he runs the ride, fast and bouncy. Hang on to your horsey!!!!

Dern it! As everybody also knows, the big deal for a righteous pagan is to get off one wheel or another, this time referencing the merry-go-round above, and stick awhile in some nice spot that is not going anywhere, relatively speaking. But alas, righteous pagans, like everyone else, are locked on, socked on, for the ride.

The heavy investors in the merry-go-round, the rulers of culture, have much to lose if the merry-go-round slows down. Everybody, the rulers of culture tell us, loses out on something if the ride slows. Even Gandhi, for example, required a clean loin cloth or two, a pair of spectacles, plus a jar or tumbler to piss in. Should the merry-go-round brake to inert status, even those interesting consumer items should be hard to come by, maybe.

Now for Crumby’s contribution to today’ thought. What if the wheel, the very same wheel possibly espied by Ezekiel, was actually the US culture merry-go-round, a whirling beacon in the sky. Yepper, there that whirling beacon is, whirling around, bells and whistles clanging and whistling, horses and maybe ducks bucking up and down. Cool!!!! Look out, it shoots off cluster bombs.

Everybody knows that all the pagans, Pygmys for example, are terminal consumers at heart. Those Pygmys just need to get some clothes on before they line up for the ride. Nobody wants to see a bunch of naked Pygmys lined up to get on the merry-go-round. Obstinate Pygmys that line up naked need to be tortured and cluster bombed; amusement park rules.

But forget about the miserable pagans and Pygmys for the nonce. Who cares about miserable pagans anyway? Well, maybe, other miserable pagans care, but forget about all those miserable pagans. They are a tiny minority and don’t deserve your concern. Instead, consider this. The merry-go-round has slowed down. You can jump on. Now it is time to exercise your freedom of choice. Mercy! Which Horse? Horse or Duck? Horse, Duck or what’s that thing that just sits there? Is that a sleigh or a chariot or a motor car? Well, it does not buck up and down so I need a duck or a horse. Dang it! Freedom of choice is slowing me down. A highly competitive boy just jumped on the last horsey. I better get on this bucking duck.

Once enthroned upon the bucking duck, you notice you can see clearly now. All the goofy stuff you used to see is gone from your visage and replaced by a new virtual visual freedom. With your new virtual visual freedom you espy freedoms of choice stretching out from horizon to horizon to horizon to horizon, flat as a pancake. Why it’s just like the world is flat. And you thought only ignoramuses held the opinion that the world was flat.

Mercy! You espy that you have unlimited freedom of choice. Hold it. I can’t buck along on this duck forever. I need a place to stay. Let’s see. My options are, a place in the city or a place near the city. The city affords the convenience of convenience, but there are pagans sneaking around in the shadows and dead birds all over the place. The near the city option indicates a long boring, expensive almost daily commute, but I shall not have as many sneaking pagans and dead birds to deal with, maybe. I got to decide, I got to get off this bucking duck. Mercy!

Rayetta's Butterflies - They Continue, Scarce

Hmmm. Due to the cold and cloudy weather consistent with Polar Bear season, my butterflies are scarce. When Ogma peeks out and the Pansy thermometer points to 60 we may see orange sulphurs (Colias eurytheme). Occasionally, there is a dainty sulphur or a variegated fritillary. Slim pickings.

But Crumby has been busy inspecting various seed crops for the tiny and underepresented in ecology. There may be a great many such lilipution creations. Crumby, what have you found so far in the Verbesina virginica seed crop?

Right away, I found this spider, Rayetta. I am not sure if this spider is dead, or merely frozen. Either way, this spider is presently inert and good for photo practice. Here we see this spider sitting upon a mm scale. The inert may be placed on such scales for purposes of measurement, whereas the lively won't stay put. This photo makes me wish I was not a total ignoramus when it comes to spiders. A man of my expereince ought to be capable of identifying this spider to family at least, but I can't. I may have to do something about that. Anyway, this spider habitates upon the receptacles, amid the chaff, of Verbesina virginica, or, Verb virgin.

Hmmm. Crumby, take some more pictures of that inert spider using the flash or flashes. Maybe you can eliminate the shadow from the flashlight on its butt.

All righty then, Rayetta.

Later:

All righty then, Rayetta. Check this out. This is using the good for 10,000 years flashlight to get focus, then a flash held about a foot from the spider off to the left. The picture shows the lower four eyes, chelicerae and proximal segments of the pedipalps.

Hmmm. Crumby, we are making progress.

Yepper. We need to build a little frame for the flashes though, so we don't have to hold them. I feel silly holding a flash. It's like having a robot for a pet.

Later:

See here Crumby. Borror, Delong and Triplehorn have diagrams of spider faces on page 113. This spider most resembles the diagram labeled Amaurobiidae.

Er. What else Rayetta?

They are also called white-eyed spiders. They are widely distributed.

Er. What else Rayetta?

That's it.

See. Borror, Delong and Triplehorn aren't any count for spiders. If you are going to keep me going on spiders, Rayetta, we need some spider tomes.

No, we don't Crumby. We can do all our own spiders. These will be the CB spiders. Soon Crumby, you shall have a pictorial key for the CB spiders and we can give them all names.

Man. That's too much work, Rayetta.

It will give you something to do Crumby, until, Hope Remains, the season, not Ray's girlfriend, commences.

All righty then, Rayetta.

Much later:

Dang it! This flash works intermittently. Why won't it do like I want it to? It's aggravating me, Rayetta.

Course it is, Crumby. It is the nature of digital devices to be aggravating. Just keep after it. Meantime, you have a picture of the Penstemon Psocid ready. Right?

Yepper. I believe this is about a third or fourth instar of one of the Pseudocaeciliidae. But I may be wrong about that. But if I'm right, it could also be an Ectopsocus.

All righty then, Crumby. Let's get back to work and see if we can find an adult.

All righty then, Rayetta.

Much, much later.

Shoot Crumby. You should have kept that first dead adult you found in the first batch of seeds.

Yepper Rayetta. There are no adult pscodids in this group. Just very tiny unidentifiable instars. We have reached the bottom of the bean bin on our ability to resolve. That instar is really little. Like 1/10mm.

Yep, that little yellow jobby. But check out that fungi, Crumby. I'll bet that fungi is our problem. That white stuff must be old cast off baby instar insect skins. And those tiny skins may not be former Psocids either.

Yepper.

Yepper.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Fired Up for the Holiday

Next Thursday, the 40th day of DY 1 in this season of the Polar Bear, occurs Imbolc, our Winter Weed Festival. Winter Weed Festival is that day the Druids set aside to appreciate all the little botanical wonders that defy the cold, often sunless days to go about their business anyway. There they all are, the little winter weeds, out in the wilderness, hugging the ground. From Imbolc onward through the certitude of time and space many of these little winter weeds shall hurry to complete their life cycles before the weather gets too hot and dry for their lifestyles. Others among them shall go dormant, enduring the long heat of Beelzebubberrific as tubers or whatever.

A great multitude of the winter weeds currently habitating in these parts are immigrants from foreign lands who have made better lives for themselves here in the Americas. There they are, enjoying all the freedom and elbow room that disturbed environments afford. Chances are, most of those green plants out there in these parts are happy little immigrants, greening up the landscape that might otherwise appear entirely as other colors.

Even at the current nonce, some among these winter weeds have already begun their annual fornications, huddling together, close to the frozen earth, basal rosettes overlapping, defying even the hoar frost to produce generally inconspicuous flowers and seeds. They shall fornicate on through May Day, providing the avid naturalist with an opportunity to observe their care free way of life.

Hark! Day 38 is Cinnamon Bun Day. I must fix to get ready for my cinnamon bun.

Crumby - Ecology for the Tiny and Underepresented

Yesterday, while looking for insects inside Penstemon cobaea capsules I found some Psocopterans, but they wouldn't hold still. Today I was checking out Allowissadula holosericea carpels for insects also. Many have complained that this lovely Malvaceae is prone to having its seeds eaten up, but ours always produce a big, viable seed crop.
Anyway, here's a couple of pictures of a Psocid that apparently stays in empty Allowissadula carpels. I believe this one is a member of the genus Anomopsocus. Course, not being much of an entomologist, I could be wrong about that.

Here's its back showing the wing venation and the abdomen underneath. This insect is in the neighborhood of 1.5mm long, not counting the antennae. It's different than the ones in the Penstemon. Aggravating that!!!! cause I don't have pictures of the Penstemon ones, yet.

Crumby - Ecology for the Tiny and Underepresented

Long have I pondered how come we never get any Penstemon cobaea seedlings ever. We have a big plant or two. They flower all right and produce fruits and seeds and some of the seeds look OK, but we never get any seedlings, ever. That aint right. So today I studied Penstemon fruit and seed under the microscope to try and see what was going on. The only animals identified in the seed pods were Psocopterans maybe. I tried to get some pictures of the Pscopterans, but the only one I could get a good picture of had its head squashed. I am sorry for that. It was an accident.

I was fairly surprised that Psocopterans of all ages are habitating in Penstemon fruits. That is troubling to me. I didn't know Psocopterans did any such thing like that. Perhaps they are the ones that are destroying my Penstemon seeds. I never heard of such a thing though. Anyway, apart from the ones I squashed by accident, those Psocopterans shall not be punished yet. They could be entirely innocent.

But here's something else I found on the surface of what looks to be a viable Penstemon seed. It appears to be some sort of cocoon, maybe. It's about 0.5mm long. Good Goddess, maybe this is the culprit.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Rainfall Update

First thought, I made an error about all those birds that got poisoned on Congress Avenue. My spell should have been great-tailed grackles, not common grackles. I sure hope nobody got confused by that error. I have made a correction to the original reflecting that change from Quiscalus quiscula to Quiscalus mexicanus. The latter species, those that probably got poisoned, is also the species, some of whom, stroll into the CB to eat dog chow.

Now that that setback to my Sun God training is behind me, the rainfall update is as follows: 9.38" + 0.59" = 9.97". Praise the Goddess, we are having a wet Polaris or Polar Bear.

Our big holiday, Imbolc, the Winter Weed Festival, is upcoming. This year, DY 1, the winter weeds are prospering due to all the rain. Plus, the many frosts have inhibited the tiny herbivores more than the winter weeds.

Th Druids have speculated somewhat upon the seeming paucity of native winter weeds in these parts. This paucity is reportedly not so pronounced as in the former eastern deciduous forest, but noteworthy, nonetheless, and touches upon the plant ecology of these parts in times of yore.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Crumby May Have A Thought or Two

Yepper Ray, I do. I have, mostly against my will, been studying up on photography. I actually read the camera manual up to video clips. I couldn't make myself go any further though since video clips are beyond me for the nonce. Yepper, I am alternatively focused in on the tiny and generally low to the ground for the nonce.

One troubling aspect of the tiny and low to the ground is how to get the camera on the level of the lowly or within a couple of centimeters thereof while having the camera inert. How about a macro camera stand with a stage for the tiny and low to the ground? This would work swell for the tiny if the tiny was also inert, like for example a lichen. Course one would probably damage the lichen putting it on stage. And hark! Macro camera stands are either really dangerous or really expensive so the lichens need not trouble themselves on that account.

I continued to wrack myself with this aggravation. I considered a variety of options, often imagining myself engineering a device that would subsequently make me rich beyond my wildest dreams. But alas, all these alternatives involved work. At last I began to despair, and as I despaired I also chanced to cast an eye or two upon my trusty tripod.

Wait a minute, I conjectured, that center column on that tripod is reversible. What if I reversed the column so that the three way head hung down, forlornly. Good Goddess!!!! This works perfectly. I can lower the camera to snake belly level and still employ all the three-way tripod controls, espying the LCD while comfortably seated on my ass. And the camera buttons and dials are all handy. Course the subject in these situtations will need to be generally inert. Or, maybe something will wander under the tripod.

Next, I have thought a good deal about the light problem. Light is the biggest problem both under the microscope and with the camera and assorted macro lenses. I never seem to be able to get enough light. Let's see if the light aggravation gets a solution as happy as the camera stand aggravation.

Oh! One other thought: 4 way macrofusing rail with reversed column on tripod might be very handy. Er. I might need some added support to keep the column from crashing down though and crushing my lichen with the camera. But maybe not. That is a pretty stout screw ring inside that tripod. Er.
____

Taking advantage of rainfall event, 8-8-8 liquid fertilizer applied to two winter weeds on this date, Polar Bear 24, DY 1.

Mr. Red Ears

Druid News Service (DNS) - US Culture Today - A Newsy News Feature Provided Intermittently - Ms. Hope Remains, Reporting:

Land sakes! Yeppers. Here I am, on some street corner almost abutting the White Palace. Tonight the Kinglet is fixing to be all set to deliver another one of his famous State of the Union addresses. Fortunately for the Kinglet, he has lots of go byes, so he won’t have to make much up. Wait just a minute. Let me use my secret Druidic powers to check in on the Kinglet at this very nonce. Oooooooooo-oooooooooo-oooooooo-ah. OK. I have the Kinglet tuned in. He’s working away feverishly in his private comfort station at the White Palace. Goodness gracious sakes alive!!!! All righty then, we shall leave the Kinglet to his personal ablutions for the nonce. Goodness!

Gracious sakes. I did notice, however, that the Kinglet had lots of papers scattered about his personal comfort station and many of those had editor marks for block and copy on them. Clearly, the Kinglet is searching for material in his go byes to put in the new speech. OK. I need to use my secret Druidic powers again to figure out what he might opine this very night. Oooooo-oooooooo-oooooooo-squeak-squeak-ah. There now, home viewers. That data is tuned in.

Tonight the Kinglet shall reiterate that the science on global warming is inconclusive, or that global warming is a myth, and that global warming, though scientifically improbable and maybe mythical, is a good thing for the Kinglet’s lifestyle. The Kinglet shall also reiterate that since Judgement Day is upcoming, there’s no point fretting over nonsensical luxuries like health insurance. Besides, the Kinglet already has health insurance and so do all his friends. The Kinglet shall also reiterate that the miserable Iraq colony still needs air conditioning and a flat tax. But to do all that, we need to also establish a miserable Iran colony, or more likely, employ some shock and awe on those miserable Iranians.

Goodness! That was hard work home audience. But there you have it, a preview of the State of the Union. This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter for the DNS, signing off. Ray sugar, I got you a tiny little spoon with the Kinglet’s seal on it. See!!!!

Gracious sakes! Watch out for the Wicker Man.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Gravy

Potatoes are a delicious tuber produced by some of the Solanaceae. Druids are fond of potatoes and would prefer to have some at breakfast, dinner and supper. However, we are also fond of moderation, so every once in a while some potatoes get left over. Mashed potatoes are hardly ever left over in these parts, but once in a blue moon, a dab or two may survive our gustatory onslaught.

Druids are also fond of gravy. So in my capacity as chief cook at the CB, I did a little experiment with using left over mashed potatoes as a stand in for flour in the gravy. Here's how that worked.

Broil your favorite livestock parts in a big skillet. Be sure to salt the skillet first, so the livestock parts are less apt to stick. Plus, all that salt shall later come in for use in the gravy. If the livestock parts don't take up all the space in the big skillet and you like your gravy on the livestock parts anyway, you can leave the livestock parts in the big skillet while you fix the gravy. Otherwise, you may take the livestock parts out, once they are done to a turn, and fix the gravy separate.

Either way works fine, but let us assume that you want your gravy separate from the livestock parts. Here's what you do. Take the livestock parts out of the big skillet. Put them someplace warm so they won't get cold. Now you have a big skillet, already salted, with a variable amount of grease and other livestock juices there in the bottom of the big skillet. Decide how much of those interesting juices you need for your gravy. You may have more interesting juices than you actually want for the amount of gravy needed. **** (Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazards) - If you offload the grease into the sink once too often, you will be sorry. If you lose control of the big skillet while pouring it off into the sink, you will be sorry. If you burn yourself with the skillet or get the interesting contents of the skillet on yourself, you will be sorry.

So at this point you need to make a decision about how much grease and other livestock fluids you need for your gravy. Go ahead on and make that important decision. After you have made that important decision you are all set to make gravy.

What else needs to go into the big skillet. Easy that, a can of mushroom soup, a can of water, those left over mashed potatoes, some Worcestershire Sauce, (you may know this condiment as Woostersheer), and plenty of coarse black pepper. Mmmmmm, boy. The nice part is, the potatoes, unlike flour, don't want to ball up in the skillet. And if you have plenty of left over mashed potatoes you can make the gravy just as thick as your heart desires. Yepper. Mashed potato gravy is delicious.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Rainfall Update

Here it is, Day 32 of DY 1 in the Season of the Polar Bear. This Polar Bear is the most Polar Bear these parts have experienced in quite a spell. For example, we had frost again this morning. However, fickle Ogma is now heating these parts up with all the radiance he can summon up, maybe.

This morning the gauge had 0.4". So that gets us up to 8.98" + 0.40" = 9.38" for these parts, narrowly defined. If we double that before the onset of Hope Remains, the next Beelzebubberific may be more tolerable for man and beast plus everyone else.

Many have specualted on the symbolism constrained in the first icicle photo, below. Let me go ahead on and explain all that. The snuff can lid symbolizes the fickle nature of Ogma. There he is at his most ineffectual, maybe. That arm that is reaching up to Ogma is attempting to tune him in better. A simile for that would be, like a radio dial. The range wand symbolizes the art of measurement. Whoa! Make that the symbolism constrained in the second icicle picture below and constraining the range wand symbolism. The rest of the stuff in the photos is not symbols.

Meantime,

Crumby, where the heck is the flash shoe cover for the camera?

Flash shoe cover?

Yes Crumby, the flash shoe on the camera is supposed to have a cover. Now where is it?

Gee whillikers Rayetta, I didn't know it ever had a cover.

Hmmm. Listen up Crumby. According to the manual it has a cover. See! Here the cover is in this picture.

Er. That appears likely to be so Rayetta, but I do not recollect ever espying any such artifact.

For Goddess Sakes, Crumby, you need to find that hot shoe cover, or else get another one for the camera.

How come, Rayetta?

Be-cause Crumby, the camera is supposed to have one. Now go find one.

All righty then.

The downtrodden ovate, Crumby, must now somehow find a flash shoe cover for the camera.

Dang it. That camera works fine without a flash shoe cover. Why do ye need a flash shoe cover when ye aint got a flash, anyhow? Where could the dang thing be? I could have lost that flash cover in any one of a bunch of counties or even a different state. Mercy!!!! Oh well, I'll just get us a new one or two. How much can an item like that cost?

Crumby, uses his ovational skills to discover the cost of a new flash shoe cover for the discontinued C-5060 WZ.

Mercy!!!! That can't be right!!!! Mercy!!!! Er. Maybe I can fabricate a flash shoe cover out of a semi-rubberized flower pot.

Later,

All righty then. Rayetta shall never know the difference between this flower pot flash shoe cover and a very expensive regulation flash shoe cover. I know, I'll take a picture of the flower pot flash cover to show Rayetta how it looks just like the one in the manual. Only this one is better because it has an elevated part on the end to pull it out by. A person can hook right on to that puller out thingy which was formerly situated along the rim of the bottom of the semi-rubberized flower part. That flower pot is exactly the same thickness as a regular flash shoe cover. It fits, perfectly.

All righty then. How the heck am I going to take a picture of the flower pot flash shoe cover, installed? This situation is exactly why we need two cameras. So we can take pictures of the other camera. I need to tell Red that's why we need two cameras.

Er. I know, mirrors. I'll use mirrors to take a picture of the flower pot flash shoe cover, installed. There we go. Perfect. Now I'll just e-mail this puppy to Rayetta. Down the dusty hallway it goes.

Almost instantaneously Rayetta, working industriously at her many tasks, receives an e-mail from Crumby.

Ray-et-ta!!!! You need to check yer e-mails.

Not now Crumby. I'm busy.

Please check yer e-mails Rayetta. You have new mail.

Crumby! Stop that hollering. I'm busy.

Dang it! But Rayetta, the camera has a brand spanking new flash shoe cover, documented, in an e-mail you need to open.

Good Goddess Crumby!!!! All righty then. I'll check it out. Hmmm. All righty then Crumby it looks as if you have the flash shoe, shod. Good work.

Yepper Rayetta. That is the top of the line Easy Pull Flash Shoe Cover from Umbycra Electrics and Rare Insulators (UERI). It was pert near the last one they had in stock. It took me forever to find this 100% compatible flash shoe cover fer our discontinued camera.

All right then Crumby. I'm glad you found a new shoe flash cover so expeditiously. Hmmm. I may have some questions about all this later, like why you didn't clean off your personal mirror before you took its picture. But right now, I'm too busy.

All righty then, Rayetta. Er. Huh, huh. Rayetta shall never know that the Easy Pull Flash Shoe Cover from Umbycra Electrics and Rare Insulators (UERI) is homemade. Now I have to get to work on an invoice.

Ray's Thought for the Day - It's a Mammonite Town

Meantime, while Hope is vacationing at the CB, and the DNS is short-handed, the AP reports that Congress Avenue between 6th and 8th is closed, due to bird die off. But fear not, experts from the Chamber of Commerce are at, or maybe in the general vicinity of, the quarantined bird die off area in downtown Austin.

Commentary by the Ark Druid on January 8 of the Julian (Hope is a Trooper), or Day 19 of the Druid Calendar, DY 1.
_____

Yepper, the Chamber of Commerce was caught off guard and the story went out to the curious everywhere. But the Chamber of Commerce experts have now solved the bird die off mystery. The Chamber of of Commerce conclusions are:

1. Those dead birds are not a menace to the public.

2. Those dead birds died of a combination of too many parasites, no food in their stomachs and a nocturnal temperature drop from the 50s to the 40s.

3. Those dead birds picked up all those parasites somewhere else and just came to Congress Avenue to roost.

4. Closing Congress Avenue and its near environs was justified because that day was the first day for firing up the State Legislature.

The Druid conclusions are:

1. Those dead birds; rock doves, great-tailed grackles and English sparrows, were poisoned.

2. Whoever poisoned those birds was very surprised by the response.

Generally speaking, it may be OK to poison birds so long as you get a permit. A permit, besides allowing you to poison the birds, also indicates that the proper authorities may not be surprised when all the birds you poisoned turn up dead in a public place. In these grim times of likely attempts by terrorists to poison our urban bird populations, our responsible Chamber of Commerce is liable to freak out, and close your business for the day if you do not notify them through the bird poisoning permit process.

What if that bird poison had wound up in the state legislator food chain? That could happen, maybe, since the state legislators are known to browse on Congress Avenue. Then how would you feel, bird poisoner. You have killed a bunch of state legislators with bird poison. Many shall say you are a very bad person. Those dead state legislators spent lots of money on Congress Avenue, perking up the economy, and now you have poisoned them, and they are dead.

Mercy! If you are detected as the perpetrator and found guilty of such a heinous crime, will the judge give you 50 dollars and let you go? Maybe, maybe not.
____

Yea! My delcious cinnamon bun that I was unable to partake of last week, arrived this week. So I enjoyed it twice as much.

The C 5060 WZ Manual of Operation -Hard Copy + Rainfall Update

Mercy!!!! We have had this camera from about the time it got discontinued. All that time, we never read the manual. In fact, we only found the electric copy of the manual a while back because the CD it was on got misplaced. Now Rayetta and me, mostly Rayetta, have decided that reading the manual on the computer screen is too aggravating. I agree with that part, but then Rayetta mostly, decided we needed a hard copy. All my appeals to the contrary failed to dissuade Rayetta. Apparently, Rayetta had a decided opinion so that was that. That means I got delegated to print it out. I pleaded with Rayetta not to make me do it, on environmental grounds, but that didn't work. So.

Lleu Llaw, see this here.

Yepper Master.

This is a hard copy of our camera manual, all 255 pages. There is plenty of stuff described in this manual that Rayetta and me are entirely ignorant of. So I need you to tote it into Rayetta's office, fer me. Rayetta may want to go 1 to 2-sided with it. Be careful Lleu Llaw, it's heavy. You shall need to apply your steady hand. In fact, let's get Lomo to help tote it. Lomo come here and help Lleu Llaw.

Lomo come over and help tote?

Yepper. Come over here Lomo and glom onto one end of this tome. Then tote it off to Rayetta. Don't drop the dern thing, especially, don't drop it in the dusty hallways.

There they go. I sure hope they don't drop it. It took me all morning to print that tome out, Ray.

Move over Crumby. I need to update the precipitation. The gauge contents has melted so I need to add up a new total.

Crumby moves on over to allow Ray access.

Lemmme see. We left off last time at 8.23". And after the ice melted we had 0.75". So the new total for Polar Bear, on Day 30 of DY 1 is 8.98". Polar Bear is progreesing favorably,precipitation wise.

What else blooms this time of year in these parts?

Easy that, Rosemary. Not only is Rosemary delicious, but it blooms in the dead of Polar Bear. What are these little rosemary flowers wondering?

Where's the dang pollinators? We went to all the trouble to dress up. Yet there's no dang pollinators.

Calm down Bloometta! Once the rest of this ice melts, they'll come around. Ye just need to keep yer looks, til the ice melts.

Plus its too dang dark in these parts. How's any nice little pollinator gonna espy me in the dark? Answer me that, Corollaetta.

Relax Bloometta. Anon, these clouds shall depart. Ogma shall peep out and all the little pollinators shall head our way, lickety split.

Mercy! I sure hope so. I need some action.

What's the Diameter of the CB's Longest Icicle, Today

We are thawing out. So our longest icicle, while still our longest icicle, is somewhat shorter. However, it has thickened up, as can be seen nearby. It is almost as great in diameter as a snuff can lid.

Then too, Crumby's poor ears, Exidia glandulosa, are iced over still. How hardy are those ears? Can they survive this terrible ordeal?

Rayetta and Crumby Do More New Camera Research

All righty then. A high priority, considering these dusty hallways and the prevalence of dust generally is a camera that that will not get dust on the pictures. We can't have dust getting on the pictures. We have enough trouble with dust getting on the lenses so we don't need additional aggravation from dust getting inside the camera and on to the pictures. Right Crumby?

Correct Rayetta.

So how many choices do we have for that kind of anti-dust camera?

Many Rayetta. Most of em are sealed up. Some of em are even water tight.

Hmmm. Of all those cameras, which ones are also single lens reflex cameras?

Er, there's five or six like that, maybe, at the nonce.

Are any of them within our price parameter.

Yepper, maybe.

All righty then, do any of those do image stabilization?

Noper.

Do any of them allow real time focusing and magnification with the LCD?

Noper.

Hmmm. Crumby, we really do need to figure some stuff out. Like about image quality gains we might espy in pictures from a DSLR. Like how much do we need in terms of image quality considering our potential for user error?

That's two separate issues, Rayetta. Plus, consider that lots of the pictures we are apt to take may need to be hurried up by circumstances which may be photographically adverse or involve Potential Safety Topics - environmental hazards. In those kinds of situations, the mass of the camera equipment can slow me down.

Yepper. All righty then, Crumby. Here's my opinion on what we should do. We should apply ourselves to user error issues with the extant camera until we discover its limitations. Then, we can use that information as the basis for getting a second camera that shall provide us with a new set of limitations. Maybe by then there shall be a dust proof camera, image stablized, with a viewfinder that we could employ to espy the subject from any old angle and a high quality lens assortment for under $500.00. Or we could acquire the cheapest, most featureless slr available and learn its limitations as we progress along simulataneously discovering the extant cameras limitations as we eliminate one user error after another. Or, we could get a camera more similar to our extant camera and do all that with it also.

That's three opinions, Rayetta.

Correct, Crumby.

All righty then, to make it four opinions, four for the Crumby Ovate that is, we could also get some equipment that might help extend the limitations of the extant camera that we might need to study up on while we evaulate image quality in terms of user error with the new equipment associated with the extant camera.

Hmmm. But Crumby, if we act upon the fourth opinion, it is my additional opinion that we should only potentially acquire equipment that would further enable the limitations of, not just the extant camera, but any other camera that we might acquire, anon.

Yepper Rayetta. If it were possible to share opinions, I would share that additional opinion you just tacked on to the fourth opinion.

Course you would, Crumby. And that would make the fourth opinion, a considered opinion, because more than one of us considered it.

Er. That's right Rayetta. I never really understood what a considered opinion might be before now. But you may have elucidated the spell, considered opinion, fer me.

Course I have, Crumby. OK, since we are iced in anyway, we may as well spend some time researching all four of these opinions.

All righty then.

All righty then.

Er, Rayetta. In your opinion, what is a decided opinion?

Hmmm. Crumby, you don't need to know about decided opinions. Decided opinions are the in the realm of me, not you.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Lotsa Ice

There's ice all over. Due to the ice all over we have had one minor emergency after another. A fight broke out when an icicle got put down someones pants where it didn't belong. Some of the livestock went to the bathroom in the parlor. A person got locked out of the CB for not shutting the door after he went out. A panic attack broke out. Rayetta has had to interrupt her busy schedule to treat a case or two of panic attack and administer preventatives to keep the panic from spreading. Little or no specific progress is being made due to all the ice. However, our tiny planet hurtles onward, recklessly, disregarding the lack of progress in these parts.

What's budding and flowering at the CB. Easy that, during Polar Bear Season, the Praise Ye Goddess!!!! Partition, Gelsemium sempervirens is generally budding and flowering. Here is a bud, of that particular evergreen vine partly encapsulated in ice.

Here is the longest icicle occurring at the CB. It is over a yard long.

It’s Polar Bear Season. Let’s go play in the sleet!!!!

Ray!

What?

Let’s go out and play in the sleet. Come on Ray! Whee! Let’s go.

No.

All righty then. Come on Olwen. We ladies shall leave old Ray to his cubby hole.

Yes we shall, Hope. But first we should give him some advice. Ray you should stop that moping in your cubby hole. Bye.

Bye twain beautiful girlfriends.

Ray!

What?

Why aren’t you out with your pretty twain girlfriends, faunching around in the sleet?

I’m thinking, Rayetta.

Hmmm. All righty then. Well Crumby, Lleu Llaw, Lomo and me, are all headed outside. You should come out of that cubby hole, Ray. The fresh, bracing air and sleet should perk you up.

I told you Rayetta, I’m thinking.

All righty then. Bye now sulky baby brother Ray.

Bye Rayetta.

Ray!

What?

Hep me outside. Ye need to hep me outside so I can mosey around in the dern sleet awhile. Being old and feeble these days, I need a young man like yerself to prop me up lest I slip on the sleet.

Red, I’m already busy, thinking.

Ye are too busy to aid a poor old ovate like myself? Er, ye know Ray, an old ovate like me may not get many more chances to play in the sleet. And what if I wander out there into this terrible blizzard without a young man such as yerself to hep me? Why I could wander off and bust my hip. Then after awhile ye might be the one to espy my poor old frozen bones sticking up out of the sleet.

Right Red. You are obviously right that I would probably be the one to find your old bones. All righty then. Let’s head on out.

Ray assists the feeble, aged senior ovate down the dusty hallways and on out into the general direction of the pecan orchard where all the rest of the Druids, with the possible exception of Raymone, are faunching around merrily.

What were ye thinking on Ray?

Well Red, I have spelled some pretty mean spells on the weather robot. But this time the weather robot almost got it right. So I have been thinking about whether I should apologize to the weather robot.

Ray, ye need to leave ovation to the ovates. But cheer up. Which would ye rather have handy, poor old Red’s bones sticking up out of the sleet, or a mealy mouth apology to the weather robot?

Yepper Red, easy that!!!!

Ray’s Thought for the Day - Duality

Yepper. As part of my Sun God Training I have been required to study up on the various attitudes and opinions of foreigners. One of the foreigners I have been studying up on is the Chinese philosopher, Mr. Mu Shu. Mr. Mu Shu, just like Druids, believes you have your good cow nature, but also your evil cow nature, all included in a single cow. This interesting opinion is summarized by Mr. Mu Shu as, ying-yang. So if we were a bunch of Chinese foreigners the CB might be spelled, Red’s Ying Vs. Yang Cow Barn.

My sister, Dr. Rayetta Pistrum, Ph. D., is possibly the world’s greatest authority on the potential for both good and evil to co-occur in cows. But as the adjacent photograph of one of our cows, Satanetta, illustrates, Rayetta’s studies are complicated by the natural deceptiveness of these cows. I think you can see from this photograph that Satanetta is mimicking a chicken. Nevertheless, the ying-yang peeks through Satanetta’s mimicry.

Not only does mimicry confuse the ying-yang, but sex also confuses the ying-yang. The photograph below illustrates how sex can confuse the ying-yang. Obviously, the female depicted is the one that is lit up, while the male is consigned to the stygian darkness. But hark! Just look how he is sneaking into the light.

Gracious Sakes Alive!!!!

Ignore a Muse

Many times the question is queried, Crumby, why did you call me an ignoramus? Easy that, if you ignore a muse, you are an ignoramus. If there are more than one of you, you are ignoramuses. Or perhaps ignoramuses is, one ignoramus ignoring more than one muse. It is perilous to ignore a muse, let alone two or more.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Brrr! and Precipitation Update

The weather robot was, as usual, wrong. The pansy thermometer indicates that the temperature has hovered above freezing and the rain has stopped long ago. The republicans need to hire a real scientist to calibrate the weather robot to keep it from being wrong, as usual. The republicans could hire a real scientist for chicken feed and still keep all their relatives on staff. Or is actual labor, as opposed to virtual labor, too expensive a commodity.

Easy that, yes, honest labor is too expensive for republicans. Ho hum.

I was suppine upon and amid the ample bosoms until just a while ago. On day's like today, during localized short term reversals in the trend toward increased global heat, I have found that it is best to stay in bed. But we needed a precipitation update since it has stopped raining. After Red hauled me out of bed, out I went into the terrible frigid Polar Bear season of these parts to look at the pansy thermometer and the gauge. The gauge had 1.2". So that's 1.2" + 4.2" + 2.83" = 8.23" so far during Polar Bear of DY 1 on Day 26 of DY 1. Now I'm heading on back to the Ample Bosoms, Praise the Goddess.

Meantime

Ohhhhhh, the weather outside is frightful,
But the nosernoids are delightful.
Let me go, let me go, let me gooooooooooooo.

Ohhhhhh, the

Crumby! If you sing that refrain one more time, I am certain to hit you upside the head with this skillet. And stop pestering that old dog.

Well, what am I supposed to do, Rayetta?

I don’t know Crumby. I am at my wit’s end, myself. Hmmm. I know, we can set up the photography gear for icicle photography.

But Rayetta, there’s no icicles.

Nonsense Crumby, there may be some icicles anon so we need to be prepared.

But Rayetta, I don’t want to photograph icicles.

Well, neither do I, but I’m at my wit’s end. Hmmm. OK, Crumby, here’s what we shall do to pass the time. We shall work up a theoretical justification for the purchase of another camera.

But Rayetta, we don’t know how to operate the one we got now.

You were not listening Crumby. I said a theoretical justification. A theoretical justification should address all eventualities, past, present and future. Certainly, some day, one of us, probably me, shall learn how to operate the extant CB camera. Once that happens, I shall need to learn how to operate a new camera. Now Crumby, we must justify the purchase of a new camera to Red, a well-known skinflint. So what would you say to Red to justify a new camera purchase?

Red!!!! Lomo took the camera way up high in a tree and accidentally dropped it. That poor camera plummeted earthward, yet smote the earth at F = MA where A =

Stop that Crumby. Stop hearkening back to your evil Christian past. No this theoretical justification assumes a perfectly extant old camera in addition to the new camera.

So we shall have two cameras, Rayetta?

Correct.

Whoa! Er. Er. Two cameras will help us Serve the Goddess twice as much, Rayetta, I mean Red!!!! Er, er, er, er,

Hmmm. Crumby we need to focus on the qualitative aspects of our theoretical justification, not merely the additive. I surmise that Red won’t be moved by the merely additive. What we shall need to do is convince Red that our pictures will be lots better if we have two cameras. With two cameras we shall Honor the Goddess, better, Spread Druidry hither and yon, better, and save many more of the little wonders, better, than we could ever accomplish with one camera, exponentially better, because the new camera can do lots of stuff the old camera can’t do, way better.

But Rayetta, all that may be impossible.

Nonsense Crumby. This is a theoretical justification. Anything is possible.

All righty then, Rayetta. We need to hone in on what a new camera might do for us that the old camera can’t do. Right?

Correct.

Er. How about this, Rayetta? Red, this new potential camera is the cat’s meow for photographing the tiny, plus the tiny and far away and is generally swell for spreading our propaganda. Here’s why. Er. As you are always saying Red, art is a pitiful or perhaps wacky reflection of nature. So for purposes of documentation we need to make the documentation as accurately reflective of nature as we can make it, leaving out any art wherever possible. This new camera totally leaves out art. Even if Rayetta and me wanted to do art with this camera, we couldn’t. This new camera absolutely reflects nature without any shenanigans thrown in. In addition, the pictures this camera is guaranteed to take shall never be exploited by the pest management or turf grass industries or for generally exploiting ignoramuses. How’s that Rayetta?

That’s pretty good Crumby. I surmise Red might go for that. Now we just need to pick out a new camera that might do all that, approximately. That’s what we shall do the rest of the day, search for such a camera.

All righty then. Say Rayetta, is that skillet getting heavy?

Rayetta's Butterflies - Hmmm!

This is not a butterfly. It's not even a brown recluse. But it is an arthropod. We couldn't find any brown recluses which is unusual. In fact, we could only find three spiders and they were all this one. Perhaps the other spiders aren't out or we didn't survey the appropriate habitats.

The rainy cold weather has limited us to just a few habitat areas mostly in the garage where this spider is usually common. It is a messy little spider that always has dust bunnies it what passes for a web, really just a spun mess, like cotton candy that's been dropped and rolled across the fair ground. The favored prey of this spider appears to be isopods.

These little spiders seldom climb more than 10cm vertically. They seem to like those areas where shelving uprights or furniture or appliances intersect the floor. So getting on level with this one was a challenge. I finally resorted to laying the tripod on the cold concrete floor and aiming the camera at a below horizontal angle. The only way to focus was to move the tripod back and forth. Praise the Goddess for LCDs.

Anyway, here's the spider practice pictures. This one is with a 10 diopter. Alas, that out of focus thingy sticking up over the poor little spider's left shoulder is likely to be one of the spiders legs, the second leg from the other side which must have inadvertently broken off when Crumby was brushing cobwebs off the spider. Crumby can be like a bull in a china shop.

This one is with an old Sears 50mm autofocus lens screwed on to the C 5060 backwards. Depth of focus is an issue either way. This second picture was taken before I made Crumby move some of the cobwebs out of the way.

Once we were sick and tired of sitting on the floor in the garage we moved to the laboratory to take practice photos of an acorn Crumby found. Quercus shumardii is the darling oak of mall landscapers in these parts. That tells you where Crumby found this acorn.

Acorns are good subjects for macro depth of field practice, especially a great big acorn like this one. Note the interesting apiculus.

No spiders or acorns were killed during this practice session and the spider losing its leg was purely accidental.

Anyone that wishes to learn what their county extension agent knows about anything or everything, from acorns all the way past spiders, should call her or him up on the phone. But remember, a county extension agent only knows enough to be dangerous.

Crumby's Fungi - Exidia glandulosa

Continuing with my camera lessons I discovered that my fungus was swollen up to the maximum likely swollen upness. Now this fungus looks like ears. This may be where they got the idea for the interesting Grow An Ear novelty item.

Whoa! Here's Ray. Why the long face, bosom companion?

I didn't get my delicious cinnamon bun, Crumby. When I arrived, the only vendors present were those vendors, vending greens. So all I got was a bunch of greens and no delicious cinnamon bun. Mercy! There it was, cold and rainy, yet the green vendors turned out anyway with their perishables. There were 6 or 7 green vendors, one troubador and nobody else but hardy and round chested purchasers of greens. They had mustard greens, turnip greens, collard greens, beet greens, kale, spinach, and no doubt other green leafy vegetables, but the takers were few. Now, sadly, many of those delicious greens may go to waste or else get fed to the livestock. Plus, I didn't get my cinnamon bun.

Sorry Ray.

Yepper. But not as sorry as me. Well Crumby, I am off to seek more solace elsewhere. Bye.

Bye Ray.

Hey Rayetta. Look Rayetta. My camera practice indicates that my pet fungus, Exidia glandulosa, has waxed ear like, due to all the precipitation and high humidity.

Hmmm. Yes it has. But I am not getting any butterfly photography practice because there are no butterflies. So what we are going to do is practice on the brown recluses.

Gross Rayetta. Those are the nastiest spiders ever, and dangerous too.

Never mind that Crumby. I have decided. We are going to practice on the brown recluses next, as soon as you and Raymone can figure out how to light them up.

Oh man!!!! I don't want to Rayetta.

Yes you do, Crumby. You just think you don't right now. Anon, you shall be happily engaged in this fun and educational photography practice and when the nice pictures come out, you will have me to thank. Get with Raymone and figure out how to light them up. Do you understand all that?

Er. Yepper. What if I can't find Raymone?

Crumby, you know very well that Raymone shall be visible from 2PM until 2:30PM tomorrow. You can get with Raymone then, after our lesson. Bye Crumby.

Bye Rayetta. Man alive, I don't like those dang nasty brown recluses. However, am I going to get out of this predicament?

Ray's Thought for the Day - Get Me on the Ark!!!!

The rain woke me up. Yepper. Early. Yepper. Even at this nonce the thunder and lighting and even the hard falling rain persist. Uh, oh. Sometimes, weather anomalies like rain interfere with the normal operations of the cinnamon bun vendor. I remember on one occasion there was a weather anomaly. But I was lined up at the cinnamon vendors like usual when, lo and behold, the very last cinnamon bun vanished into a lady’s bag right before my horrified eyes.

Do ye have any more delicious cinnamon buns?

No. The weather was bad so we didn’t bring that many. We didn’t think many cinnamon bun clients would be out in this weather anomaly.

The very same scenario is likely to play out anon, again. Mercy!

All this rain we are receiving for the nonce, Praise Ye Goddess!!!!, is tracking up out of Mexico. If the weather robot is correctly calibrated, we could have a chance at some frozen or maybe freezing precipitation by Day 26 of DY 1. That implies a potentially long hall without my friendly flies. I shall be forced to look elsewhere for potential stimulation, maybe.

Yesterday a mysterious package arrived at the CB, addressed to my sister. But that little mystery was no match for my Sun God Training. So, ah ha, some new technology has arrived at last.

Sun God Trainees, at a certain stage of their float or swim toward full matriculation, develop x-ray vision as one of our capabilities. But note the spell, x-ray. You may think that having ray in that spell is an accident. Ha.

At this nonce I am employing remote x-ray vision to explore the insides of the cinnamon bun vendor’s delivery truck with a view towards pre-adapting myself for a major disappointment.

Mercy! The potato man is working OT. I need to contact the Ark Druid!!!!! Ark Druid, my water walking skills are not sufficient to overcome the gravitational pull on these lead boots the ladies make me wear for my training. Can ye give me a lift over to the cinnamon bun vendors? Er. Ark Druid. Where are ye, Ark Druid? Perhaps the Ark Druid has cruised off.

I need to go check something in the east pasture right quick. I shall just mosey over that way for a look see. Yikes! There are creeks in the east pasture. And there’s the Ark Druid, embarking along. Yikes!!!!

Uh, oh. Here's Red.

Ye boys need to get out and do some trenching. The CB is like to flood. Go on Ray. Grab a billdukey and head on out.

Mercy!

All righty then. That particular flood has abated thanks to some handy billdukey work. The dang gauge almost overflowed too. It only goes up to 5" and it had 4.2" in it. That's considerable rain for these parts. And the rain falls yet for the nonce. Shall I get my delicious cinnamon bun, or not.

Roly Poly?

All righty then. During breakfast Crumby and I decided that for our diurnal activity we would dress up as roly polys. Er. At least that's what I surmise we both are. Crumby, can you roll up into a ball?

Not sure Ray.

Can you espy your tail?

Noper.

Can you espy if I have twain caudal appendages?

Er. You don't appear to have a tail Ray, but I am having trouble seeing off that great a distance during this strange metamorphosis.

Well, fine and dandy. So we are probably roly polys, but one or another of us may be a sow bug. Anyhow whatever, we are members of the Crustacea, Order Isopoda, and pre-adapted for a terrestrial lifestyle.

Here we have come to visit this grapefruit at my sister's butterfly feeding sanctuary. Alas, it appears that some flies have beat us to this delicious grapefruit, Crumby. They have vertitably shit all over this grapefruit already.

That's OK Ray. I am already hungry again. A little fly shit shall not put the Crumby Ovate off his feed. Hey! Dang it, stop flashing me.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Which is More Interesting?

Easy that. Flies are more interesting than carpels. Crumby needs to focus on flies, not carpels. Besides, flies are more photogenic than carpels.

I have been trying to figure out what my latest fly is named in taxonomic lingo. Not easy that, but I have narrowed it down to a couple of families, or maybe four or five families. One of my several pictures of that last rude fly shows a big rounded calypter. That's a fair clue on the family side.

However, I am beginning to surmise from my desultory efforts that the fly taxonomic lingo and associated details may not ultimately serve as a basis for generating a fly ecotourism industry. But who knows. Optical digital technology is improving by leaps and bounds. Maybe someday soon we shall have simple binoculars and cameras able to resolve fly tibias from orbit or even closer up.

Who knows, someday we could have a big crowd of ecotourists paying big money to visit the CB south compost pile to espy our rare flies. Er. That particular compost pile has not been composting much due to recent climatic conditions. Consequently, some small mammals, possibly rats, have constructed a large tunnel exiting from the compost pile as indicated by an egress hole and the tunnel itself. They may have a den in there. Seems like I recall that if you have small mammals resident in your compost pile, that compost pile aint working as designed. Nevertheless, it may attract some flies anyway.

Hark! Look who has arrived on this scenic expanse, none other than my bosom companion, the redoubtable yet circumspect, Crumby Ovate. A welcome before ye, Crumby.

That's all so Ray. Say Ray, isn't it time for yer delicious cinnamon bun?

Noper Crumby. Ye are jumping to false conclusions. That delicious cinnamon bun must await the dawn of the 24th day of DY 1, in the Season of the Polar Bear, Praise Ye Goddess!!!!, tomorrow.

Then let's have some oatmeal while we strategize on our diurnal activities.

All righty then.

Crumby Practices His Camera Lesson

Nice Ray!!!! Flys. Jeez Louise! Er. Hmmm. However, if I could sight identify a great many flies to species, I might have an alternative to vending ladies' shoes as a new career option. Yepper, I could lead fly tours. Surely many among the curious and affluent would flock to attend Crumby's Fly Tours. After a few successful tours I could get in with a big optics outfit that specializes in fly viewing optical aids. Then I could become the giant optics outfits' spokeperson, go on TV, and explain to everyone that flies are important. Why? Because without flies, I wouldn't have a job on TV, advertising all the great fly optical aids. That would be swell so long as my new career did not interfere with my normal activities.

Actually though, making a career of flies aside, I am starting to become interested in Ray's flies. What if Ray is right and that deer shit is full of weed seed? With that troubling thought in mind, I headed on out to the east pasture to look for deer shit. I found plenty. I began happily searching in the deer shit for weed seeds. I figured maybe I could espy some of the larger weed seeds naked eyed if I broke apart some of the little shit pellets.

What are you up to, Crumby?

Nothing Rayetta.

But alas I learned that Rayetta considers fingering open deer shit pellets as within the same general parameters as my former dust bunny collection. So I had to quit on the seed search in the deer shit pellets, too. However, I may have to continue that activity in secret anon, with the assistance of my trusty dissecting scope.

So here's a couple of photography lesson practice pictures of Malvastrum aurantiacum fruit segments. These fruit segments in real life are a little under 5mm in longest dimension, 3mm the short way and 2mm thick, approximately.

The first picture is a group of fruit segments shot indoors. The main illumination is from the C5060 flash backlighted by a very wimpy old microscope light. The camera aperture is F8 and maximum zoom with M-150, +10 and +7 magnifiers stacked front to back.

The second practice shot shows the bottom hairy portion of one fruit segment. It's shot through a 25mm plossl telescope ep and adapter plus the C 5060. Lighting includes the old wimpy microscope lamp, a ring LED, and my good for 5000 years flashlight. The camera flash is disabled. Built in camera flashes really goof up microscope shots.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Raw Nature

Yes it's true. Deer (Odocoileus virginianus) sneak into the Cow Barn pastures and shit all over the place. They almost always shit on bareground. I would sure like to know how they do that since they can not probably espy their hiney hole location as they are shitting all over the place on bare ground. Anyway, somehow they almost always shit on bareground which leads me to wonder if maybe shitting on bareground is a vector adaptation for seed dispersal.

Here's how that works. A nasty deer eats up a bunch of its favorite food, seeds attached, and then comes over to the CB to shit out the seeds on bareground. After awhile some nasty weed pops up on that bareground.

Happily there's an upside to deer shitting all over the place. What's the upside? Easy that, flies. And not just any old flies, but flies that specialize in gustation on deer shit. This fly has its proboscis stuck on into a tasty fresh nugget. Plus this fly is a smart aleck.

Do yer hand trick on me Ray. I would just love to buzz, fer ye. Course I might track up yer hand with this here delicious shit. Har, har.

What a rude fly. And this one is just typical of the whole species and maybe whole genera of deer shit eating flies.

Er. This time I remembered to use a higher aperture value, but I forgot to zoom out like I could of, should of.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Frosty

For three days running, that is, Days 19-21, we have had frost. That's unusual for these parts lately. On Day 19, the frost was close to hoar frost. But after Day 19 the frost tailed off to being regular frost.

All this frost, both the hoar frost and the regular frost, has dumbed down my normal high activity thought processing capacity. My many little friends are dormant or inactive. So there's no reason to be smarter than the season merits, reckon? Still, I would like to see a fly or two buzzing about just to help keep my wits sharp.

I have heard tell that we southerners are dumber than average due to the excessive heat we suffer through during Beelzebubberiffic. But I wonder about that. It seems to me that cold could numb the noggin about the same difference as heat, under the right circumstances. At least when its hot, there are flies about, for stimulation.

Did you ever catch a fly out of the air, then hold it up to your ear? Sometimes when you do that the fly will buzz crazily, even tickling your hand. Then once the fly you have captured is worn out with buzzing, it will start to plead it's case.

Please let me go Ray. I won't never get on yer cinnamon bun, ever again, maybe.

When a fly starts pleading its case, your only option is to give it a good hand shake and start it buzzing again.

Ray's Precipitation Update for DY 1 - Day 20

2.8" + 0.03" = 2.83"

I am too weary to participate further in this venue. What I need is an epsom salts bath to kill off some of the photon bacteria. The photon bacteria may be sapping my vitality. Yes,the photon bacteria can be a big problem this time of year. Even a Sun God Trainee, such as myself, may be afflicted.

No Ray, ye don't need a crumby epsom salts bath. Here's what ye need my bosom companion. An ad.
_____

How does one know when the photon bacteria are stealing yer personal vitality? Easy that, one becomes suddenly susceptible to advertising. Once the photon bacteria root in, usually in yer nostrils and anus, you may find yerself passed out out on yer computer desk. Awaking, you discover that you have 146 new e-mail messages from EBAY. You have won, lots of stuff, the e-mails inform you cheerfully.

Yes, the photon bacteria have got you fer sure when that happens. But luckily, one of the items you won on EBAY is the Digital Anal and Nasal Micro Sun Lamp Photogrpahy Kit. This handy and portable item is just the tool for rooting out an unnaturally high count of photon bacteria lodging in your anus or nasal passages.

Plus, the model you purchased, is nuclear powered. Just shine this puppy up yer nostrils a time or two. Not only will the photon bacteria go extinct as a result of the digital nuclear burst of this specially designed sun lamp, but we shall include a free 3-12x zoom mirror on a stick so you can check for photon bacteria that may be stealing your anal vitality. You can nuke the anal photon bacteria, too.

Yes, the 3-12x zoom mirror on a stick is a high quality mirror that zoom magnifies your asshole to 3 to 12 times its natural size. Your asshole shall be really easy to see because the stick is fully adjustable and is, actually, Tinker Toys. The terminal tinker toy is specially designed to rotate every which a way allowing the 3-12x zoom mirror unprecedented access in all directions. Plus, there are plenty of tinker toys provided in the kit. You can fix them up to go between your legs or over your shoulder or any which way. You get to choose how you go about espying your asshole.

But here's the really exciting part. The fully adjustable 3-12x zoom mirror doubles as the world's tiniest digicam. That's right. You can take pictures of your nostrils and asshole. Need to document an interesting booger or dingleberry in situ? Now you can, anywhere, anytime.

Yes that's right. The world's tiniest digicam comes with a nuclear powered flash attachment. Say you are at the movies and all of a sudden your asshole starts itching. No problemo. Just rig up the appropriate tinker toys, attach the digital 3-12x zoom mirror to the terminal tinker toy, slide forward in your seat, stick it all down your pants or up your dress and search around until you find the problem.

But here's the really exciting part. You don't have to take a bunch of random pictures of your itchy asshole. On the proximal tinker toy (that's the tinker toy in your hand), also known as the handle, we have fabricated an LCD screen the size of a Big Chief's Tablet. As if by magic, incredbile real time views of your asshole, as large as 12 times normal will appear on the Big Chief Sized high resolution LCD screen right before your eyes. This particular LCD screen is so exceptionally bright and clear,that even tiny invertebrates inhabiting your rectal arena show up in fantastic detail.

But here's the really exciting part. You can save the image of your crabs, or delete that image, and take an even more interesting image, all in the stygian darkness of the movie theater.

But here's the really exciting part. This ultimate gizmo comes with a free instruction manual on a free CD ROMPER diskette. Not only does the Dual Power Electric/Nuclear CD Romper Instruction Manual include Simple Assembly and Maintenance Instructions, an amusing catalogue of sample "what to look for" nasal and anal photos, and Potential Safety Topics-Environmental Hazards relating to use of the Digital Anal and Nasal Micro Sun Lamp Photogrpahy Kit, this Manual is entirely edible and nutritious. Most exiting of all, it's trans fat free!

But here's the really exciting part. Since you have already purchased this product, your confusion and unhappiness occasioned from viewing the ads of rival inferior similar products is over, finished, caput. Rest assured. You have purchased the finest product your modest outlay occasions, maybe.

Please insert the CD Romper diskette into the Dual Power Electric/Nuclear CD Romper (Romper device not included) to view the recommended necessities for accessing the CD Romper diskette prior to assembling your Digital Anal and Nasal Micro Sun Lamp Photography Kit.

Crumby's Naked Celestial Bodies Contributions to the Druid Calendar for These Parts #1

All righty then Ray, my bosom companion. For Druid Year 1, the current, in the Season of the Polar Bear, Partition Praise Ye WG!!!!, Day 19, the night sky off to the east just on either side of the ecliptic features many of the brightest stars visible from our humble, tiny planet. With the assistance of French astronomical and computer graphics innovation, I have worked up a chart that shows the brightest ones plus Castor and Pollux. All these stars should be visible from all but the very worst polluted locations in Austink. For example, not Congress Avenue between 6th and 8th.

Here that is. The line is the ecliptic. I made some effort to orient the chart so that the average chucklehead, tilting his or her head up, might be able to actually figure out which naked wonder is which by comparing the naked wonders in the heavens to the chart. The azimuth is toward the top with Aldebaran closest to the azimuth. Rigel is south of the ecliptic plane. This chart is about 10 PM, but for our purposes it works from when all these labeled stars become visible after sundown and are above the horizon, around 8:30 PM, until the average chucklehead would have to bend over backwards to espy Aldebaran slipping past the azimuth.

Hope is a Trooper

Goodness gracious sakes alive! Yes, I am, a trooper. But even an Ace Reporter, trooper like me, needs some time off from the busy rigors of Ace Reporting. So I’m on holiday, resting up at the CB. And what happens? Well, goodness, when I get to stay home at the CB I like to take a nice morning stroll about to see what’s happening. Out I go sashaying about, first through the pecan orchard. There’s Lomo, brachiating about.

Lomo! Get down from there. Go put some pants on. Goodness gracious!

Lomo not get down.

Well I swan! For goodness sakes Lomo get down from there right this minute and go put some clothes on.

Lomo not get down. Lomo displaying.

Goodness! Did Rayetta say you could do that?

Lovely Druidess say, all righty then, Lomo.

Well I never! Land Sakes Alive!!!!

Leaving Lomo to his display antics I sashayed onward, more round chested than ever. Oh look! Robins (Turdus migratorius) are hollering overhead, whilst winging their ways northwest toward a (Juniperus ashei) preserve where they shall find a nice robin motel.

Goodness, here I am in the formerly cultivated area. Look at that ant mound. Goodness! Hmmm. I’ll get my boyfriend out here to take its picture. I’ll holler for him. Ray! Come out here.

What?

Come on out here. Bring the camera.

What?

Ray, get yer butt out here right now. Bring the camera.

All righty then.

Here he comes. Stop that daffy behavior, Ray. Gimme that camera. Now stand over by that impressive pismire emporium. Click. Click-click-click-click. Click-click. There now.

I swan. This mighty edifice depicted is the home of a bunch of fire ants (Solenopsis invicta). They have hauled up mass quantities of dirt from the stygian bowels below. Gracious sakes. Fire ants are earth movers, all righty then. Mostly though, they only do this sort of mound erection when the soil is nice and damp. During Beelzebubberiffic, when the soil is dry, their edifices are in scant evidence.

Immigrants like these fire ant pismires have only lately arrived on the scene in these parts. Apparently, they eat ticks and almost everything else. Watch out Ray! Oops. Ray got to close. There he goes. He’ll soon have those pismires brushed off his feathers. Wait a nonce. My goodness! I didn’t know ducks, anted.

Anyway, the questions are, are these pismires, hapless environmental refugees that have found a new happy home in these parts, or, are they wicked aliens from foreign parts, arrived to steal our jobs, slaughter our herps, and sting us. Do you, home viewers, have any opinions? This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter signing off, hey! Wait a nonce, I’m on vacation!
_____

Meantime, while Hope is vacationing at the CB, and the DNS is short-handed, the AP reports that Congress Avenue between 6th and 8th is closed, due to a bird die off. But fear not, experts from the Chamber of Commerce are at, or maybe in the general vicinity of, the quarantined bird die off area in downtown Austin.

The Ark Druid

Ray's Thought for the Day - Whatever, I Support It!!!!

Sho nuff, the Kinglet is fixing to offload a bunch more tax dollars off on his Mammonite boosters for the continuing strange occupation of miserable, airconditionless Iraq. I support it, whatever, because, at least in theory, some of those tax dollars could be my money. Perhaps, even soon, like say by Winter Weed Festival, they'll get the ACs up and running all over miserable Iraq. Then, once its cool enough in miserable Iraq, the Kinglet's flat tax minions shall at last, in theory, communicate their message of salvation to the miserable Iraqis, through a translator.

Off the miserable Iraqi flat tax collectors shall go, door to door, venturing bravely into every nook and cranny of miserable Iraq, extracting a fair, flat tax from each and every sheik and mullah. Once all the fair, flat taxes are collected, and all the various Mammonites get their cut, I'll get my tax dollars back. But hark, through the Magic of Mammonite Economic Theory, my tax dollars shall have multiplied themsleves, like laboratory bacteria on optimal media. I shall be rich, beyond my wildest dreams!!!!

All righty then. I need to think about what to do with all these upcoming riches headed my way. Let's see now, the upcoming riches should arrive no later than the Dang Summer Solstice, just in in the nick of time. Whew! just in the nick of time, all righty then, to cover the electric and water bills, maybe. Course, I may not need to cover the water bill anyway, since if I use up any water beyond my allotment, I'll be in jail. Happily, in jail, I shall reflect upon whose tax dollars are paying for my upkeep. Praise the Goddess!!!! Praise Ms. Shehann!!!! Watch Out for the Wicker Man!!!!