Piggy the Chow-Chow , a Cow Barn Dog

At 2:02 AM I hear this. Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar..........Time to get up and pet the chow-chow. Like most dogs, Piggy the chow-chow sleep barks. Yepper, the old Pigwig has ever been a noise-maker, especially of endearing repetitive slurps and grunts, hence les nomme.

The Pig came to us a good while back and is now in the neighborhood of 12 or maybe 13 years old. He first came to my attention as a black shadow of the underbrush at Walnut Creek Park where I had undertaken the botanical component of my early Druid training many moons ago. Always accompanying me on the early Druid training botanical expeditions was Barney, a largish mutt who was charitably described in those days as an airedale sheepdog mix. And the black shadow of the underbrush was much interested in Barney, but not much interested in me. Nevertheless, the black shadow of the underbrush made us, more often than not, a threesome.

Then one day, Barney and I wandered into the northeast corner of the park to check the creek bed for sedges and there was a pretty young lady with a bag of dog food and she was giving of it to the black shadow, which out from under the underbrush appeared to be a smallish almost chow- chow. The pretty young lady came to the park regularly, and had resolved upon feeding this young dog, but had never been able to arrest him, due to his wild nature. She also indicated that she had been feeding the almost chow-chow thusly for several weeks.

But I, having noticed the almost chow-chow's affinity for Barney, resolved to capture him. This I accomplished a couple of weeks later. The strategy I employed included Barney's sociability and doggie treats. I succeeded in nabbing the stray almost chow-chow and he miraculously, gave up without a tussle, resigned. However, he would not progress a single inch in the direction I wished for him to go of his own volition, and as a result, I had to carry him, 30 pounds of wet, stinky and vermin infested puppy to the car parked almost a mile away. From that day to this, the Pig has never, ever, never, even once, followed any instruction I have ever given him. And if, right now, I want him to go somewhere else, I will have to carry him to that location. He is utterly oblivious to commands and, of course, has no notion of those tricks that seem to be innate to the capacity of most dogs. Interestingly, though, I once saw the Pig sniffing noses with a wild grey fox. Go figure!

Our initial plan for the Pig included a trip to the vet, followed by adoption to someone else's good home. However, the vet discerned that in addition to a dropped testicle, fixed by removal of dropped and un-dropped testicle alike, the Pig also possessed heartworms, a common pre-Heartguard malady of those days. The prescribed treatment in those days included medication and enforced inactivity, so Piggy was kept leashed to the couch in the den where he contrived what mischief he could, notably jumping up on the couch at maximum allowable acceleration, rebounding off the cushion, and rolling onto the floor, again, and again, and again. ......

This almost drove Molly crazy and she began to hate Piggy, since it was her lot, in those days to reside at home for much of the day with the several pets. But worse was to come, for anon, Piggy was allowed excursions to the back yard, from which he invariably escaped. He escaped not by jumping the chain link fence or by digging under it, but by laboriously and methodically climbing the chain link fence. Apparently, young chow-chows are adept climbers. Once out he would proceed to upset the neighborhood and his progress from yard to yard was always detectable by reason of the great clamor he evoked from the dogs, cats and humans he encountered.

Fortunately, in time he grew too heavy to climb the fence, a possible side benefit of castration, but he made up for this by uniformly bad behavior on walks. He got to go on these because he really liked them and they would calm him down for an hour or two and also because the walks spared Molly and the cats his company for awhile.

The only way Piggy ever learned anything about how he was supposed to act around the rest of us, was by watching Barney. If he didn't know what to do, Piggy would watch Barney. Piggy would just watch Barney and not do anything at all, except watch Barney. Oh, Piggy did learn that if anyone came to the house and made noise outside, he was supposed to raise hell barking. He did learn to do just that by watching Barney.

I shall relate one of Piggy's many adventures. Once upon a time Piggy had to go to the vet for his annuals. When we arrived, the veterinary assistant explained that I would no longer be allowed to restrain Piggy during the examination due to the new insurance rules in force at this particular clinic. Instead, two strapping young men efficiently muzzled the Pig and led him off to the back room while I sat at ease in the lobby. "This is a pleasant new policy", thought I, reflecting on the aches and pains that follow from restraining a 50 pound chow-chow for a good while.

But then, interrupting these pleasant thoughts, came one of the strapping young men holding a much bloodied hand and he headed for the bathroom located also off the lobby. And then a second strapping young man appeared and with him a pretty female veterinary assistant, who stated, "Mr. T....., could you please come help with Piggy, he has escaped into the kennels?"

Sure enough the Pig had indeed escaped to the kennels and was proceeding cage to cage and row to row, mixing it up with the inmates. And perched on top of Piggy's noggin between his little chow-chow ears, was the muzzle, serving as a doggie dunce cap.

Our last trip to the vet, just last Thursday, was much less eventful. Piggy is too old now to get into serious mischief, maybe, but to get him from the truck into the veterinary office, I still had to carry him if we were to proceed to the appointed destination. I wonder how many miles I have toted that dog during our long association. Someday I will miss not toting him along, maybe.

I have been reminded of why I was interested in acquiring Piggy, maybe, in the first place, and that an additional strategem involved in his acquisition. Barney, I thought, needed another dog for companionship when I was on the road (lots of the time in those days). So I thought, here's a "free one" that Barney likes to play with. Note: There actually are, for all practical purposes, free lunches, but there are definitely no free dogs.

One potential obstacle to my plan for acquiring the new dog was Molly, (Druidess of reality checks, who I was pretty sure, based on many negative recitations regarding another dog, didn't want two. So I decided that the way to overcome Molly's disinclination for habitating with two dogs was to take her along to Walnut Creek Park to see the poor little stray puppy that played with Barney at the park. This strategy worked perfectly and the puppy became not merely my project, but our project. So perhaps you can see from this how subtle a Druid can be, even at the sunrise of Druid training.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 31,'05

As has been noted a number of times in this topic, the Druidry in these parts holds that lying is a bad sin, and we also believe that all the other sins derive from lying, or from the other bad sin, gluttony. Now we have been challenged by the comrades at MoveOn.org to come up with a poster/slogan on Karl Rove. So here's our slogan on Karl. Thanks Karl, for the window on our souls.

I mean really. This fat little man relies on our basest instincts and pulls the same tricks over and over again. He succeeds not because he is a genius, but because the body politic of these Yore-nited States is so hopelessly and helplessly dishonorable.

One example: Karl Rove helped orchestrate the "war" on Iraq, no doubt of that. Yet his job was made easy, was it not, when not one major political or media figure in the days prior to "Shock and Awe" addressed the nation on the utter impossibility of Iraq's military capacity, either conventional, or as a possessor of "wmds".

We used to have as one of our slogans at RGVECB, "People get what they deserve!" But Sunshine stopped all that with the spell "No way I deserve this." Well, Sunshine was right, but so was RGVECB, maybe.


RGVECB

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 30, '05

The northeast corner of the Burger Center Parking Lot is the location of a Farmer's Market that is the only worthwhile activity associated with the Burger Center with the possible exception of Pow Wow. Everything else is just bad music, air pollution and noise pollution. Burger Center, located on the south side of of Hwy 71 between Ernest Robles Way and Pillow Road is a football stadium and basketball stadium in a sea of asphalt, so much asphalt that it has probably altered the weather in these parts.

But in the northeast corner of all the asphalt, every Saturday mornin there's a Farmer's Market, with lots of stuff to buy and a great multitude of well-behaved shoppers. These are the kind of shoppers that are so well-behaved, they rub off on the dogs, so the dogs are well-behaved too. Even the Jack Russell terriers, always well-harnessed, can accomplish no more than rudimentary leash tugging.

So as I joined the promenade today at the Farmer's Market, I had this thought. The Farmer's Market is a nice place for a leisurely stroll to shop and visit and it is a comfortable place for the elderly and the still more elderly, for I have also noticed that it is a place to bring one's parents. The elderly and yea the still more elderly can stroll along and look at all the produce and other food items and even non-food items for sale (like having your posture checked), and buy stuff, and commiserate with the well-behaved dogs.

And as I was ruminating along on the promenande and seeking a shady spot I had an additional thought. The recently dead might appreciate a turn or two around the Farmer's Market. I am sure that many shoppers meant to one day bring along an elderly relative or friend, but death intervened. Why not bring them now? Ice 'em down in a box with a glass top so they can see out and wheel em along on a dolly while you follow your normal shopping routine. I am sure that having a dead person or two in the crowd would make the Farmer's Market that much more interesting.

Whoa! Yet another thought. Here is a philosophical pondering. I am prone to contemplating these riddles. How much asphalt does it take to make a person skeptical? The Burger Center asphalt makes me, Ray sceptical. But I bet it makes Karl Rove optimistic every time he ponders all that asphalt; where all the people, young and old alike can walk or drive their personal vehicles in all kinds of weather, to shop or be entertained by the sporting events, and the really bad band music and synchronized marching that makes so many people happy, or just take a driving lesson. It would take way more asphalt than the Burger Center has to offer to make Karl sceptical, and George too, he'd need way more than a 100 acres of asphalt to wax sceptical.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 29, '05

We are in a holding pattern at the Cow Barn, due to the dramatics of the Crumby Ovate and his nicottine withdrawal which is not going well. He continues rowdy and abusive when awake and noisy and abusive when asleep. Red needs to just conk him about for a week or two and be done with it. Frankly, its embarrassing to be seen with him and I'm the one that had to go out in public with him today, twice. I may just go get the poor basturd some snuff.

We had another shower today and the Cow Barn has greened up with lots flowerin. Pretty and hummingbird-a-rific.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 28, '05

We have had to lock up the Crumby Ovate to keep him from harmin himself and/or others. It's the Demon Snuff! He is presently wrapped in wet sheets, havin already had a nice enema. Now, my duties here discharged, I am headed out to the shed for the hummingbird show.

Snuffless ( updated often)

Nicotine has burned my mind away. Help! Somebody bring snuff, Grizzly No. 19 in the red and black can with the picture of the grizzly bear.

How many people do you kow that would take vacation to kick a snuff habit. Some vacation. Chills, sleepy, anxiety attacks, inability to focus on anything. No pinch between my cheek and gum. This is way worse than alcohol withdrawal that I completed last winter. And if I succeed, all I get out of the deal is lowered intelligence. I feel really sorry for myself. Well, that's O ***** K anyway. Jeez Louise.

Here's what I get for quitting snuff.

1) Two dollars a day that I would have spent on the snuff.
2) Freedom from worrying about where I'll get my next can.
3) Lowered pulse rate 82 - 56 in 18 hours (may not be a good thing).
4) Reduced aggravation of the cheek and gum region.
5) Lowered intelligence.
6) Lowered tolerance for annoying bullshit (no more snuff rewards for playing along).
7) Won't have to carry so much water doing field work.
8) Continuous feeling of unease caused by something missing from my life.
9) Plenty of sleep with interesting dreams and hallucinations
10) New insights.

Continuing with intermittent naps and great mofo dreams. Just had a dream about the correct way to spell Bleuropetalon. Course there's no such thing as Bleuropetalon, but I know how to spell it now. And I will probably, for the rest of my life, get Bleuropetalon and Blephaneuron mixed up.

Now it's been 24 hours plus without snuff but the Demon Snuff still has me bent over. My head hurts and I am lethargic. It's like I am blanketed by lethary, but deep down inside under all the blankets of lethargy there is the hope that I will get some snuff so that I can resume a normal life. And my cheek and gum cry out over, and over, and over, just a pinch between us and you can resume a normal life. But this time I am determined to master the Demon Snuff, no matter what the cost to me and those around me.

Historical perspective. I have been using snuff or chewing tobacco almost uninterruptedly for nigh onto 45 yar. So right now I would really like to skin
everybody alive for my sensory pleasure and to take my mind off snufflessness.

Snuff, snuff, it's all I had to give meaning to an empty husk of a life.

I'd really enjoy hitting anyone in the head with a ballpeen hammer. Also solitiare is a stupid white trash game. I was playing this afternoon when I noticed the cards were mocking me. There were like 47 cards up and I needed like two to make a good run, but they were hidden and the cards were laughing at me and telling me how stupid I was for wasting so much time, playing solitaire. So I went and took a nap.

Now it's 48 hours without the Demon Snuff. Clearly the Demon snuff has been the most important thing in my life for at least the past 20 years and maybe for my whole life. I need to write all this down before I'm as dumb as one of Rayetta's cows. They let me out this morning to jog and do chores under close supervision. I am afraid that I will no longer be able to do any moderate to high level thinking. The only way I could think in the past about difficult or unpleasant tasks, would be if I was assured of a treat from the Demon Snuff. So what do I get now? Answer me. What the f*** do I get now? Waaaaaaaaaaaah. Nothing. Who shall order my comings and goings if not the Demon Snuff?

All righty then. I feel a tiny bit better today, but not much. Just slightly more than 72 hours without the Demon snuff. Clearly, I probably am not going to make it without my Demon buddy, Grizzly # 19. If I can't make it in the pleasant environs of the Cow Barn, what's it gonna be like in the decidedly unpleasant environs of the ****. No way. After I have another nice nap, I'll maybe edit this some more since it is not the wholesome doucment I would like it to be. Apparently that new computerisn't coming today and that's annoying because the space bar onthiskeyboard keepssticking. See what I mean?

Actually, I feel quite a bit better now at about the 80th hour. And it just occurred to me that this venue is a living testimonial to a Druid's battle with the Demon Snuff. So since it is a sort of public document, it should act to redouble my strokes against the Demon Snuff. Yepper, now it would look really bad if I allowed the Demon Snuff to sodomize me yet again.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 27, '05

Since military service is a volunteer activity these days, and seems to be working pretty well, maybe we should extend the volunteer concept to taxes. I Ray, would have a tax burden, but I, Ray would decide how my taxes are spent. I would evaluate what government functions I approve of, and allocate my taxes accordingly. The various taxing entities might then have to compete for my money.

Ethics Reminder

Lyin and gluttony are sins.

Did you go all day without lyin or makin a pig of yourself?

If you can't answer this question "yepper", then you need to get right with the Goddess. If you can answer "yepper" your makin good progress.

Badgemagus Swineherd

Rayetta Calls for Proposals

As you may recall, one of my, Rayetta's many important duties at the RGVECB is to monitor our cows for good versus evil behavior. This does not mean that I believe, a priori, that some cows are good and some are evil, only that there is a potential for a cow to be good or evil. However, determining good versus evil in a cow is not as easy as it sounds.

Right off the bat I have had to exclude setting up experimental situations for telling the truth vs.lying, because I can not figure out any way to observe how a cow could lie. It's just too complex a problem for experimentation. Maybe, if I was a big fat cow myself, instead of the Lovely Druidess Rayetta, it would be easier, but I doubt it. So I am left with designing experiments that demonstrate normal cow appetite vs. gluttonous cow appetite.

But honestly, I'm having a bit of trouble with that too. So if some big, strong, smart, handsome Rump Ranger has some ideas about how we might demonstrate cow gluttony in an experimental situation, I sure would like to hear from him.

Rayetta

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 26, '05

The Longhorn pipeline runs through these parts just a little ways south of the Cow Barn through residential areas and over the Edwards Aguifer. Lomo has calculated that if it blows up, it won't also blow up the Cow Barn. We're out of range. Which is good because the Longhorn Pipeline is an old Exxon oil pipeline that, in its Longhorn iteration, now carries jet fuel, diesel and gasoline.

An Environmental Assessment (EA) of sorts was done on the pipeline prior to its re-iteration and this EA was approved with mitigation requirements. One of these mitigation requirements was that the pipeline was to be inspected for internal defects within three months after its return to operation. Its been 6 months now and, guess what, no inspection. Instead the rich and powerful responsible parties have requested of the Office of Pipeline Safety (OPS) that an internal inspection of the pipeline be delayed indefintely. OPS, of course, is expected to bend over, pendecho.

So......we need to write letters or send e-mails to OPS. To find out how to do this go to www.austinaction.org.

The Crumby Ovate is a Fun Guy

Today, in the capacity of sort of working at my job I started thinking about mushrooms in general. Why? Last week, I collected a mushroom during or shortly after my official lunch hour when I am supposed to eat dinner during the official part. This particular dinner was a combined lunch and team meeting so after we finished with that, and I was disconsolately meandering in the general direction of my cubicle, I espied some mushrooms on a patch of lawn under a ? tree next to the parking lot located north of the Hancock Building. I collected one of these mushrooms because it was bright yellow, pretty much all over, and I thought that an all yellow mushroom would be easy to identify with the aid of "Texas Mushrooms: A Field Guide". I had bought this book about 18 months previously and had never used it, previously, but I truly wanted to know about this particular yellow mushroom. So I read about how to operate the book, "Texas Mushrooms: A Field Guide", and then employed the described identification strategy on my specimen. Of course, the particular almost entirely yellow mushroom I had collected was not in this book. And, of course, I then had a sense of deja vu from realizing this had happened several times before with different books and different mushrooms.

But today, I noticed that my yellow mushroom, now dehydrated, was right where I left it in front of the computer monitor last Friday, so I resolved to try again. I had, you see, attempted an informal spore print last Friday by placing the cap of the yellow mushroom, pores down on the cover page of a particularly irksome report I have been working on at a leisurely pace. Of course, this particular yellow mushroom had shed, no spores.

Aggravated, I resolved upon another strategy for dealing with this particular yellow mushroom. I decided then and there to go back to the very spot I had collected it, obtain additional specimens and make a plant list for the general vicinity to include the tree the yellow mushrooms were growing under. I think that tree is (Quercus muhlenbergia) which is sometimes used by the landscape crowd as an ornamental in these parts, but I'm not sure because at the time I collected the yellow mushroom I was partially in conversation with several pretty and smart young ladies and wasn't paying careful attention to the general floristic surroundings.

But then I pivoted and didn't do any of that. Instead, I did a Google search on "mushroom poisoning in the U.S." hoping my search would retrieve some interesting statistics on that particular subtopic. But I didn't get very far because 4:15 rolled around and that is the time when I start fixing to leave for the day, 4:30, being when I get to head out for the good old Cow Barn.

When I got here to the Cow Barn, there was no one here but pets and livestock. Sometimes they all go off somewhere and have meetings about me. So, I did some chores, played with Lulu and then continued my search for information on mushroom poisoning in the U.S. I was hoping to find a table something like this:

Year U.S. Mortality from Mushroom Gluttony
04 12,603
03 10,898
02 10,436

Instead, I found "An Overview of Mushroom Poisonings in North America", by Michael W. Beug at http://www.psh.umich.edu~kwee/mper/4mfl.htm. Briefly, Dr. Beug indicates that in 2001-2003 no humans died of mushroom poisoning conclusively in the U.S. and/or Canada, but that mushrooms had been eaten by two people shortly before they died of other causes in the U.S. and/or Canada, possibly due to panic attacks. During this same time frame, 2001-2003 eight dogs died from mushroom poisoning, conclusively. In addition, only 192 people, during this time frame, reported getting sick from eating mushrooms, and many of these poisonings resulted from the consumption of mushroom species widely acknowledged as being safe and delicious. Apparently, some humans may have the genes required for eating mushrooms and some may not, or some particular mushrooms within a species presumed edible and delicious may have higher than average levels of toxins.

All this is very interesting and has radically altered my perception of mushrooms in general. And now that I am pretty sure it won't kill me, I am going to eat that yellow one, regardless of what species it is.

Why the heck do the vulgar and ignorant call them mushrooms? The Online Etymology Dictionary provides these opinions:

1440 (attested as a surname, John Mussheron, from 1327), from Anglo-Fr. musherun, perhaps from L.L. mussirionem (nom. mussirio), though this may as well be borrowed from Fr. Barnhart says "of uncertain origin." Klein calls it "a word of pre-Latin origin, used in the North of France;" OED says it usually is held to be a derivative of Fr. mousse "moss," and Weekley agrees, saying it is properly "applied to variety which grows in moss." For the final -m he refers to grogram, vellum, venom. Used figuratively for "sudden appearance in full form" from 1590s. The verb meaning "expand or increase rapidly" is first recorded 1903. In ref. to the shape of clouds after explosions, etc., it is attested from 1916, though the actual phrase mushroom cloud does not appear until 1958.

I may have to share all this with the Druidry in these parts as a Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazard - Musherune.

Finally there are some amusing words related to mushroom, besides mushroom and toadstool. These are mycophagist n. - one that eats fungi; mycophagous adj. - feeding on fungi; and mycophile n. - a person whose hobby is hunting wild edible mushrooms

So........to use all three in one sentence:

The mycophile turned mycophagous mycophagist once he masticated the morels.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 25, '05

Workin on uh calendar, workin on uh calendar, workin on uh calendar, workin on uh calendar, workin on uh calendar, workin on uh calendar, workin on uh calendar, workin on uh calendar.........

Gaul dern it Ray, stop that sing song in yonder er I'll conk ye out, fer sure.

Whoa! All righty then Red.

Another little wonder that's bloomin up a storm at the nonce in these parts is Ruellia (rhymes with what ails yuh) drummondiana. It might be a good one for this time of year along with Anisicanthus wrightii or Malvaviscus arboreus. Course the Vitis sp. are fruitin right now so they might be good too.

Special Vocabularies

It's really lotsa fun to get up in front of a crowd of say, engineers, and opine something like "Can any of you tell me something about the teleological suspension of the ethical. I'll give you a hint. It has something to do with Arbraham and Isaac in the Old Testament of the King James' Version of the Holy Bible."
Lahdee, lahdeeeee.........

OK. Times up and none of you dumbasses know anything about it, correct.

Yepper, those kinds of situations can be lots of fun, but remember to always have a stretch of lead pipe rolled up inside a newspaper just in case some buckaroo in your audience gets fiesty.

I, the Lovely Druidess Rayetta, like specialized vocabularies because they are lotsa fun. Come up here Lomo, and spell a word to two on the topic of optics, one of your several areas of expertise.

E-R-F-L-E A-F-O-V M-O-D-I-F-I-E-D A-C-H-R-O-M-A-T-I-C

All righty then. That's plenty. See Lomo knows a specialized vocabulary and he's a
Proto-human. Ha! Lotsa fun.

How about some range science specialized vocabulary? Those animal units have a demand for forage exceeding the daily herbage increment and standing crop. That's why you got so much broomweed.

See, lotsa fun.

My contribution to the Culture War.

Rayetta Lovely Druidess Rayetta

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 24, ‘05

Today we are all going to work on plants. There are a number of very abused specimens that need keying if they are still susceptible to being keyed in the shape they are in. Also the Ambrosia psilostachya, persisting as a component of short and mid-grass areas needs to be mowed or it will take the place over. Several other areas need to be mowed to retain a short grass aspect.

Ambrosia psilostacya, known to some as Ambrosia cumanensis, and to a tiny minority of the vulgar and ignorant as western ragweed, is a very common, one might even say abundant, warm season perennial weed of these parts. It causes allergic reactions among the susceptible (me) and is also probably allelopathic to some other plants.

Two other ragweeds are common in these parts. One of these, Ambrosia trifida, can get 10-12 feet tall in a good year. For this reason, the Druidry in these parts have suggested the name Ambosia chernobylensis, fer it. You can stain yerself red with the sap too. The other is an annual one Ambosia artemisifolia which is mainly interesting for its similarity to A. psilostachya making the both of them prone to misidentification in reports. Hint: A. psilostachya has rhizomes.

All the ragweeds in these parts are agreeable to a little disturbance and since there is generally plenty of that going on in these parts, they are another boon to the allergy doctors.

Whoa! I'm havin another thought. What if my significant plant calendar I'm in the process of developin emphasized plants of importance to the nasally impaired?

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 23, '05

I am working on a tree calendar for these parts. That's why I'm late spellin a thought today. I been thinkin.

In keepin with the tree calendars of yore it won't be just trees. It will be a signifcant plant calendar. The trick, as always will be sortin 365 days into months. This has been a problem historically, and continues thus to this day. Right now I'm thinkin to start up the significant plant calendar after Samuin when the White Goddess, according to the Crumby Ovate turns all her thought toward whether or not he (the Crumby Ovate) deserves to live for another turn of the wheel. If She gets him sometime this winter, like he always thinks She will, then I can start the calendar from the date of the Crumby Ovate's demise. That malarkey aside, I am lookin around right now for a significant plant for this day and time, whatever that day and time is, since I'm really operatin without any calendar at all until I get this new one ready. The candidates I'm thinkin of right now are Anisacanthus wrightii and Malvaviscus arboreus, both of which are bloomin up a storm at this very nonce.

The Crumby Ovate has wore hisself out pivotin so there won't be a Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazard - excessive pivotin - or - spellin g not q, I don't think.

However, Red will be up anon to spell about "The Culture War". If you haven't figured it out yet, from the Cow Barn you get an anarchist perspective along with a Druid perspective, so what you get is a good deal, two perspectives for the effort of spellin one.

Ray Baby Ray

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 22, '05

How much elbow room does an organism require to keep itself entertained? Easy that. Consider the organism's capacity for imagination, its size and its mobility and you'll have yer answer.

Examples:

organism - paramecium
imagination - unknown
size - barely visible to a 20/20 naked eye
mobility - great over short distances
Elbow Room Answer - happy go lucky in a cup of water

organism - mountain biker
imagination - low
size - medium
mobility - great over medium distances
Elbow Room Answer - happy go lucky on more than 100 acres

organism - arboreal warbler
imagination - low
size - 4-6 inches and disproportionately light for the small size
mobility - significantly great
Elbow Room Answer - happy go lucky on 2-10 acres

organism - naturalist
imagination - high
size - medium
mobility - medium
Elbow Room Answer - happy go lucky on one acre

organism - Sequoia gigantea
imagination - unknown
size - really big
mobility - none
Elbow Room Answer - happy go lucky on under an acre

orgainsm - environmental consultant
imagination - low
size - medium
mobility - significantly high
Elbow Room Answer - happy go lucky with weasel room

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 21, '05

Hurricane what's its name brought a nice shower to the Cow Barn yesterday mornin. It's always pleasant to get rain in the Holly month in these parts and said rain is a great boon to all the warm season perennials. Perks up the big bluestem (Andropogon gerardii).

I am thinkin about a new tree calendar for these parts since the old one I've been usin clearly does not make much sense (for these parts). Although, I must say, and as others have pointed out, I haven't got a date wrong since the Juneteenth embarrassment.

Anon, the Crumby Ovate is preparing to address the RGVECB and all the Druidry in these parts on the subtopic of misspellin g vs. q; ex. guivering.

Contributors to my groggy thoughts for the day include Red and Rayetta.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 19, '05

See previous post. I, Ray checked up on this and to date the name of the paper, Durant Daily Democrat is immutable. So after all, there remains a nonce of continuity, from former days to latter days. But consider this, Istanbul was Constantinople, NRCS was SCS,avocados were alligator pears and ecological sites were range sites.

And we still need to take action on behalf of the fierce-eyed junco.

Ray Baby Ray

SES

The Soil Erosion Service is what the Casowary called the SCS. Lots of other old timers called it that too. Maybe that's why they changed the name. Which reminds me. The name of the newspaper in Durant, Oklahoma was the Durant Daily Democrat. But everyone called it the Durant Daily Disappointment. I wonder if they've changed the name of the paper too. I need to check on that. Good god man. It cound be the Bingo Republican by now.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 18, '05

One of the chief diversions at RGVECB is scientific nomenclature. We like to use scientific names for all the little wonders if we can remember them. The easiest ones to remember have mnemonic associates. For example,guess the mnemonic associate of Distichlis.

Troublin Thoughts - Troublin Evidence

Lomo's arrival has brought a technological sophistication to the Cow Barn undreamed of before his advent in these parts. Therefore, we are determined to replace the Cow Barn computer, a Pentium 166. We are also determined, however, to retain the use of its (the Pentium 166) associated peripherals. These date from the late 90's. We are troubled that even Lomo will not be able to make these peripherals work with the new machine. The troublin (or not) evidence will come week after next when this fairly historic computer metamorphosis is anticipated to transpire.

Rayetta

Red's Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn - Potential Safety Topic -environmental hazard - Absence of Cedars/Junipers

Audio Message Produced by LOMO PHONOGRAPHICA for the sole use of Red's Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn.

As you know, and as many others have often stated publicly, Crumby is a paragon of Safety Consciousness. Crumby is always on the lookout for those common environmental hazards that could hurt one of us. As you also know, Crumby feels obliged to communicate about these environmental hazards under the sub-topic of Potential Safety Topics. This way Crumby can apprize you of environmental hazards before you hurt yourself, or, before he is forced to report you to the proper authorities for fooling around with an environmental hazard.

That Concludes the Audio Message Provided by LOMO PHONOGRAPHICA. Red is now alive.

Thanks again Lomo for workin up that introductory message. This un looks like a long un so let's get to it. Here's the Crumby Ovate with:

Today's Potential Safety Topic- environmental hazard - Absence of Cedars/Junipers. By way of introduction I shall paraphrase from several texts, the learned and semi-learned have produced on this Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazard - Cedars. First, "The Manual of Vascular Plants of Texas, 1970, paperback edition*, indicates that there are "about 60 species widely distributed over the Northern Hemisphere. With few exceptions, cedars are trees and shrubs of poor dry soils. In Texas they are especially common on breaks and rim rocks of mesas in the central and western parts of the state." And from "The Illustrated Flora of North Central Texas" we learn also that "one species occurs in east Africa." Hmmmm. Also, one of the cedars (Juniperus virginiana) is of widespread occurrence in eastern North America and east Texas and up the Red River Basin to west Texas and western Oklahoma and it likes dry sandy or rocky soils.

Since Texas has plenty of poor dry rocky or sandy soils (erosion not withstanding), Texas also has plenty of cedars, eight kinds of native ones, in fact, more or less, with 6 of these primarily in the western part of the state and two primarily in the east.

Notice to this point that cedars, with one exception above, have been designated by the epithet, cedars. I have chosen to go along with this ignorant and vulgar epithet so far to make a point, to whit, that Linnaean names are less of an environmental hazard than common names. Here follows a list of all the Linnaean genera, of which I am aware, to which the common name cedars has been applied: arborvitae (Thuja), cedar (Cedrus), cypress (Cupressus), false cypress (Chamaecyparis), juniper (Juniperus) and sequoia (Sequoia). There are probably some others. Note that the closest spelling of any of these though, to cedar, is Cedrus. And for all you bible scholars (Cedrus libani) is the famous Cedar of Lebanon, maybe. So true cedars are in the genus Cedrus and none of them are native to Texas, while what the ignorant and vulgar of these parts call cedars, are actually junipers (Juniperus), most of the time.

By the way, I, Crumby Ovate, in the context of confronting evil, have visited an interesting web site or two, odu.edu/webroot/instr/sci/plant.nsf/pages/allb..... has "All the Plants of the Bible." Counting some fungi and yeast, 86 different taxa, are noted at this site as being mentioned in the bible. Also, there's http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/1249a.htm "Plants in the Bible". This second site which also includes an advertisement for the Catholic Encyclopedia, CD, $29.95, concludes that about 130 plants are mentioned in the bible and provides this commentary on the low number. "Only some 130 plants are mentioned in Scripture, which is not surprising since ordinary people are interested only in a few, whether useful or ornamental."

Despite the absurdity of the preceding remark on a number of levels and the shameless money changing, I actually recommend this site over the other one, maybe, because it includes the bulrush (common name variously applied to the genera Scirpus, Schoenoplectus and Typha) and the other one omits the bulrush, but otherwise evinces more scholarship, maybe.

Come on. How could they skip baby Moses and the bulrushes?

Of course, the "bulrush" noted is, according to the "Plants in the Bible", either Arundo donax, Cyperus papyrus, Juncus acutus, Juncus communis or Juncus maritimus. From one of these, the ark of baby Moses was fashioned, maybe. Now this is not to say that the Druidry, even in recent times have not had some difficulty with flora, as a careful reading of Robert Graves, "The White Goddess" occasionally spells out.

But now to pivot back on my original course which was the Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazard, ah, - Cedars/Junipers. As we now know, the cedars often spelled in these parts are actually junipers. Now, what are the safety implications of this misspelling and why are "absence of junipers a potential safety topic- environmental hazard?

1) Junipers misspelled as cedars can cause confusion, a prime cause of our old foe, panic attacks. Also, when you get called by the wrong name all the time, you tend to disappear.

2) Lying offends Druids and that makes for a more dangerous environment. This particular misspelling has allowed Republicans to lie and get away with a lie, as usual, on a technicality. The lie is that cedars, meaning junipers, are not native to Texas. But junipers are, of course, native to these parts and have been for many multiples of a tousand or two tousand years. But the republicans always call the junipers, cedars, so technically they are not lying when they say cedars are not native to Texas. The most widespread hypothesis I have heard from republicans about how cedars recently got to Texas involves Mexican cows coming up on trail drives and shitting out cedar berries on what was at that time a beautiful verdant grassland with grass so tall it came up so high on a horse, that an observer from a distance would only see the head of the horse and the torso and head of the rider. This is obviously ridiculous, because only one grass species that's ever been in these parts grows tall enough to conceal the bottom of a horse (Panicum virgatum) and it is habituated to deep soils of bottom lands, not the poor rocky or sandy soil of most everywhere else in these parts. But now that there is an African juniper on record we will probably be hearing that the cedars were introduced by slaves, because as every one knows, blacks like gin, and juniper berries (Juniperus communis) of the northeast Yorenited States) are used to flavor gin.

A second hypothesis I have heard is that the verdant grasslands were maintained by the Indians who set the fires on purpose to keep the land a verdant grassland. This may be, but it is also clear that the juniper-oak woodlands do not burn easily, and due to the high humidity of these parts, and relatively high precipitation, oak-juniper woodland is in no way comparable to the true fire disclimax produced communities of the much drier western Yorenited States.

So about all that can be said on the topic of pre-white folk plant communities on the Edwards Plateau is that at various times there was more or less grassland and more or less oak-juniper woodland. And since everyone is free to have an hypothesis or two, my definition of the word (hypothesis) being, a potential lie awaiting exposure, I will venture one (hypothesis). In the absence of human disturbance events and major climatic changes, there occur places, where certain plants are so uniquely adapted, that nothing can happen at that place to change their occupation of that place as the preponderant dominant species or complex of species. Here are some examples I have noticed from long and repeated observation.

a) buffalograss (Buchloe dactyloides) patch community - These are found in low relief areas with moderate soil depth and high permeability. Areas are typically small, more or less oval in shape and the plant community is buffalo grass and a few native forbs of little consequence.

b) shrub communities of the western Edwards Plateau - These are found in areas of low precipitation, high permeability, much relative runoff and moderate to high relief. Due to these meterological and edpahic characteristics, dominants on these spots are various kinds of shrubs of the genera (Condalia, Diospyros, Fraxinus, Quercus) and trees of many species that never get very big because they can not tolerate the spot (microhabitat) weather and edaphics as trees so they stay little or die. These areas are also the absolutely uncontested and immutable home of the black-capped vireo (Vireo atricapilla).

c) Glen Rose slopes midgrass community - These are found, as described in the preceding name, on subsets of the Glen Rose slopes, a fairly big subset of the eastern Edwards Plateau, with seep muhly (Muhlenbergia revechonnii) as the dominant plant, little bluestem (Schizachyrium scoparium) and tall grama (Bouteloua pectinata) are also included variously. Again, something is going on in terms of soils, slope and moisture to allow for the persistence of this community, no matter what. (If you could get a really short horse and a really tiny cowboy, you might be able to replicate the mythical tall grassland of the verdant Edwards Plateau here, pictorially. And actually, I am thinking of doing just that. If anyone has access to a Hopalong Cassidy and Topper figurine, please see me after the show).

d) Ashe juniper (Juniperus ashei) is the climax dominant over huge areas of the Edwards Plateau and there's nothing mere mortals can do about that.

_______ Yikes, No. No. No. Somebody needs to interrupt me when I digress so. I didn't mean to go there. I really pivoted. So on to #3 with supersonic speed..

3) Gluttony offends Druids and that makes for a more dangerous environment. Since 1933 the US government has paid out huge sums of the tax payer's money to private landowners for cedar/juniper control. Millions of acres have been treated. Often the same acreage has been treated multiple times. These treatments, mechanical , chemical and lately a combination of mechanical and fire were designed to promote a grassland or grassland- shrubland disclimax more agreeable to domestic livestock, cows and goats, than juniper-oak woodland. How many times have I heard, no herbs grow under the cedar/juniper. Yeah right. It would be interesting to discover if the production of cattle and goats on the treated acreage has actually increased from 1933 to the present time and at what cost to the tax payer.

4) Lying offends Druids and that makes for a more dangerous environment. The latest Republican technical lie is that cedars/ junipers use up all the water via evapo-transpiration that we humans and our domestics, quasi- domestics (white-tailed deer) require, or may in the future, require for ourselves. Many erstwhile studies, also paid for by tax dollars, have attempted to prove this hypothesis and these experiments do appear to show that if an area is denuded of trees, an initial flush of groundwater will result. After that, when and if sufficient herbaceous vegetation recovers in the area, data collected so far has been insufficiently fabricated to demonstrate a conclusive trend. For you see, herbaceous plants evapotranspire too, and you have to maintain them in sufficient quantity to keep the poor shallow soil from eroding away to bare rock.

5) Monocultures offend the Goddess and that makes for a more dangerous environment. Often, on the 24,000,000 million acre Edwards Plateau of central Texas, denuding an area of its cedar/juniper results in the establishment of a fine stand of King Ranch bluestem (Bothrichloa ischaemum) in its place. This species, its common name not withstanding, (another technical lie) is a native of Central Asia that has been widely introduced for erosion control. It is a favorite of the Texas Department of Transportation in this capacity and is therefore, now ubiquitous on road shoulders throughout central Texas. A bunch grass species tolerant of fire and mowing, and of little value as forage for wildlife or domestic livestock, KR now forms dense monocultural stands along highways and has escaped or been seeded into adjacent disturbed landscapes to the extent that it is now ubiquitous. So every time cedars/junipers are cleared, KR moves into the vacuum and increases to the exclusion of native herbaceous plants. An example, is the Wheless Preserve, the largest single preserve entity in the Balcones Canyonlands Preserve system of Travis County , Texas. On this preserve, with a primary function to provide habitat for the endangered golden- cheeked warbler, when the canopy opens, KR becomes the dominant plant species in that opening. Two open areas on the preserve and adjacent open woodlands, accounting for several hundred acres of the preserve, have KR monocultures including a 100 plus acre black-capped vireo restoration site. KR isn't of much use to an arboreal, insectivorous warbler, and there have never been any black-capped vireos recorded at this preserve, or for that matter before it was a preserve, during the 30 odd years people have been looking for them out there.

6) The Goddess is offended by redundancy and that makes for a more dangerous environment. A whole bunch of plants are endemic (found nowhere else in the world) or nearly so, to the juniper- oak woodlands of the Edwards Plateau. Some of these are, tapped below from the North America Regional Center of Endemism: CPD Site NA32 web site: Topping the list are the beautiful and endangered Styrax texana and the threatened Styrax platanifolia, known from a few canyons in the Hill Country (Gonsoulin 1974). The rare, beautiful and probably endangered Salvia penstemonoides deserves an early listing, followed by: Dalea sabinalis (Barneby 1977), Streptanthus bracteatus, Crataegus secreta (Phipps 1990), Philadelphus ernestii, P. texanus, Penstemon triflorus, Carex edwardsensis (Bridges and Orzell 1989), Seymeria texana (Turner 1982), Tridens buckleyanus (Gould 1975), Anemone edwardsiana, Penstemon helleri, Matelea edwardsensis, Amsonia tharpii, Ancistrocactus tobuschii, Onosmodium helleri, Erigeron mimegletes, Tragia nigricans, Berberis swaseyi, Amorpha texana (Wilbur 1975), Hesperaloë parviflora, Galactia texana, Opuntia edwardsensis (Grant and Grant 1979, 1982), Kuhnia leptophylla (Turner 1989), Perityle lindheimeri (Powell 1974), Tradescantia edwardsiana, Chaetopappa effusa (Nesom 1988), C. bellidifolia (Nesom 1988), Quercus laceyi, Vitis monticola (Moore 1991), Buddleja racemosa, Garrya lindheimeri (Dahling 1978) and Verbesina lindheimeri. Lots of other plants, including a bunch of really cool ones are nearly endemic to these juniper-oak woodlands of the Edwards Plateau.

Oh well. I nearly forgot. Lots of humans and almost humans, including me, are allergic to juniper pollen which blows around these parts from about November through February. This pollen is a great boon to the allergy doctors in these parts.

Lots of wildlife like junipers a whole lot (especially the berries it produces and the numerous insects it houses) and the golden-cheeked warbler is totally reliant on Juniperus ashei for replication habitat.

The wood of junipers is resistant to decay and so is used for fenceposts, Junipeus ashei, and cedar chests, Juniperus virginiana. Ah, there's nothing like the aroma of a good cedar chest.
_________

Well, I could go on for a good while longer on this subtopic, and may yet, another day , but I think you can see how dangerous the absence of cedars/junipers really is. Thanks for you attention to this. She's all yours Red.

Thank ye Crumby Ovate. We will definitely tote this up as a Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazard - Absence of Cedars/Junipers. We may need to do some OT in these parts relating to this subtopic. There's coffee for those goin and a Welcome Before All of You.

* The binding on the earlier editions falls off after some use. So these are the paperback editions. Glen Rose may have the first of the first paperback edition.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 17, '05

Today we have been watchin the bicycle race somewhat, especially Raymone who is quite interested to see if he can spot any of his kinfolk on the TV. We are rooting for the Belgian cyclist, Poirot, who is short and fat and has no athletic abiltity. When asked by a race commentator how he can remain near the top of the rankings, Poirot repied, "Eet is the strategy of the leetle gray cells, mon ami".

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 16, '05

It is very late in the day now and I, Ray having not yet succeeded to a thought have asked Crumby to give me something to think about from the Potential Safety Topic, environmental hazard - Cedars, which is coming up anon. Here's what Paul gave me to think about. "Only some 130 plants (maybe) are mentioned in Scripture, which is not surprising since ordinary people are interested only in a few, whether useful or ornamental." The (maybe) is injected here by the Crumby Ovate.

Paul, the Crumby Ovate says this remark, the one in quotations, is absurd on a number of levels, and Crumby told me to think about that and come up with some of the levels he thinks it's absurd at. So, I Ray in the absence of having any other thoughts, will do just that.

Levels

1) Ordinary people did not write the bible, theologians wrote the bible. So the theologians made a decision that ordinary pople would only be interested in reading about 130 plants. And believe me, I have read through the list of the 130 plants and the #130 is not exactly accurate since many of the plants cited are actually plant derivatives, and the plants they are derived from are the subject of much speculation.

2) For a tousand or two tousand years or maybe twice that only theologians read the bible because they were the only ones that could read.

3) Who the heck are the ordinary people, the village idiots, the harlots and the money lenders? Wasn't the principal occupation in these olden times agricultural/pastoral?

4) It is clear that much of the theological scholoarship regarding biblical flora suffered form the absence of critical review by a few good natural historians, as well as the absence of the Linnaean nomenclature, or its equivalent.

5) The theologians who wrote the bible actually cared about what ordinary people were intereseted in? I thought they were transcribing the word of god.

6) The bible is of no account as a natural history of ancient Palestine because theologians who wrote the bible had little interest in the flora of a country with which they woefully unfamiliar.

Raymone's Word du Jour - Inextricable

Inextricable adj. - forming a maze or tangle from which it is impossible to get free

Why of late have we, the Druidry in these parts, been spelling one myth after another.

Easy that. Nature and myth are inextricably linked, and as goes one, so goes the other.

Consider our new mythmaker Lomo sapien, whose apelike physique, dietary habits, rudimentary speech and arboreal acrobatics, belie a genuis with all things electrical and astronomical.

Today, another Lomo was espied at the Wheless Preserve, roaring along at supersonic speed. The myth leaps and bounds.

Two other myths to consider tonight, Noah the Arkite and Mayauel the Goddess of Strong Drink. Everyone knows about Noah. Some even say the Welsh first received the gift of pigs directly from Noah, when one day he came sailing by in his great ark, and the Ark Druid of the Cymry stood out upon the shore and hollered at Noah, "I could sure use me a pig er two". Whereupon hearing that plaintive holler, Noah tossed two pigs into the sea that swam ashore and these pigs became boon companions to the Druidry of those parts.

Then there was Mayauel, a farmer's wife who went into the fields where she espied a mouse. But the mouse was walking in circles, talking to hisself and laughing. Then the mouse, thoroughly engaged in walking in circles, talking to hisself and laughing, was suddenly felled fast asleep. This particular mouse, Mayauel noted had been eating of the maguey cactus, so she gathered up the juice of the maguey and gave it to her husband, Xochipilli, and saved some for herself as well. Surprisingly, Mayauel found that the maguey juice made Xochipilli cuter than he had been previously.

Ray's Comparative Mythology, Scrutinized

So Ray, you really put a lot into that "comparative" mythology you spelled last night?

Yepper Rayetta. I am really happy with it and I have thought about it quite a lot, since I spelled it out.

You've thought some more about it today then, and are quite pleased with yourself?

Yepper, I am purty well pleased. Why do you ask?

Well Ray, I was just wondering how you came to select those particular passages from Bulfinch's Mythology as the starting point for your first treatise on "comparative" mythology?

I selected them in a modified random fashion Rayetta. I had been wanting to compare King Arthur to some of Dr. Swineherd's Volsungs and so I picked passages from that subtopic in Mr. Bulfinch's book that looked interesting.

I see Ray. And how did you pick the Juggernaut passage?

That was totally random Rayetta. I was getting tired and I wanted to go to bed but I felt like I needed a fourth passage ( a Pythagorean thing you know) so I just flipped over to that page and happened to see Juggernaut.

Okie Dokie Ray, leaving sampling methodology aside, why do you think the first passage is important?

Cause those qualities mentioned are a goal, acknowledged by all as the highest model of emulation.

Um, hmm, and devotedness to the church? Also, "you" went to church last Sunday?

Well, actually Rayetta, I only went to church in an allegorical sense. Anyway foolin around with the wild little wonders is like church for us aint it?

Yes it is Ray? But getting back to those qualities that are the highest model of emulation, do you have any feeling of unease about that?

No Rayetta, I don't. They are very amusing because they become catty wampus when considered one with another, and they are especially amusing since they are just models for emulation and not the real thing.

I see that Ray. And what does that passage then have to do with the Volsungs?

Well Rayetta, I have not figured that part out quite yet. However, I'm purty sure it has something to do with the third passage, of that I am confident.

And?

All righty then. The Volsungs and King Arthur all had real nice weapons and accoutrements and the weapons all had names. I particularly liked the name of King Arthur's spear. Also, multitudes perished at the hand of King Arthur just like they did at the hands of the Volsungs.

And you thought all that was funny?

Yepper, funny.

And I suppose you thought the second passage was also funny?

Yes I did Rayetta. Merlin won a battle for King Arthur by making all the tents fall down at once. That reminded me of Boy Scouts.

What prithee did you think about Arthur having a picture of the Virgin on his shield?

I liked that part best, cause we all know that picture was the Goddess.

And the fourth passage?

Just funny Rayetta. Just funny.

All righty then Ray. You are officially off comparative mythology duty and back on Howdy Duty.

Bulfinch's Mythology

I, Ray, inspired by Dr. Swineherd's example, have decided to become adept at comparitive mythology. One of my favorite books on comparitive mythology is Bulfinch's Mythology. I did not discover this until a moment ago, but on p. 367 of the copy we have here at the Cow Barn in the Introduction to "King Arthur and His Knights" is spelled, "Chivalry, which framed an ideal of the heroic character, combining invincible strength and valor, justice, modesty, loyalty to superiors, courtesy to equals, compassion to weakness, and devotedness to the Church; an ideal which, if never met in real life, was acknowledged by all as the highest model for emulation."

Then, skipping along, p. 399, "The rebel kings were still superior in numbers; but Merlin, by a powerful enchantment, caused all their tents to fall down at once, and in the confusion Arthur and his allies fell upon them and totally routed them."

And on P. 400 we discern a quote from Geoffery of Monmouth, "Over his shoulder he throws his shield called Priwen, on which a picture of the Holy Virgin constantly recalled her to his memory. Girt with the sword Caliburn, a most excellent sword, and fabricated in the isle of Avalon, he graces his right hand with the lance named Ron. This was a long and broad spear, well contrived for slaughter." Then Bulfinch simplifies the remainder with, "After a severe conflict, Arthur calling on the name of the Virgin, rushes into the midst of his enemies and destroys multitudes of them with the formidable Caliburn and puts the rest to flight. Hoel, being detained by sickness, took no part in this battle."

And skipping around some more to p. 322, we see, "Whether the worshipers of Juggernaut are to be reckoned among the followers of Vishnu or Siva, our authorities differ."

You may not think so, but I, Ray understand this quite easily.
_________

Yikes!

Rayetta

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 13, '05

Ol Dr. Swineherd is visitin. it's like old times and I, Ray have got the coffee made and ready for his coming forth. Here he comes, here he comes.

All righty then. Did you sleep OK Dr. Swineherd? Grab some coffee.

Thankey Ray and fitfully, Ray, fitfully. I have been frettin over that subtopic we dredged up from one of my earlier iterations that the Cow Barn chose to spell, "Balancing Out the Blarney". So I spent most of the night, studyin it.

Notice in the subtopic how Odin inserts himself into the stories as if he is superimposing himself upon an older, more natural theme of sacrifice of the the sun god to the Goddess. There is another one that does this also, that Loki. An example of Loki at work is the Jormunrek/Swanhild/Randver subtopic subtopic where Loki inserts himself as the counselor, Karl Rove, er, I mean Bikki. (I left that out back then cause the whole business was very confusing). Oh well, we have trouble with those boys in the regular subtopics too, insertin themselves.

All righty then, Dr. Swineherd. Thanks for helpin us dredge all that up.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 12, '05

Yikes! Danger Will Robinson! for the Houston toads (Bufo houtonensis). Even they, little toads, may not be little enough.

Red says: Yepper, Ray, we have a gluttony issue here.

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 11, '05

We met last night to discuss whether the Hexalectris orchids in these parts would be included with the other Red's Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn totem plants. Nobody could spell why not, so they are good to go. These are Hexalectris spicata, Hexalectris warnockii, Hexalectris nitida and what appears to be a white variety of Hexalectris nitida that has been found only at the Wheless Preserve and the Double Horn Resource Area to date in this world by anybody we know. Odd that one at Double Horn, cause that's real old limestone there, maybe a tousand or two tousand old.

So I, Ray will make an addendum to the subtopic Druid Liturgy and include these new totem plants in the Totem subtopic, subtopic.

Balancing Out the Blarney

Is Druidry just fer a narrow line up of Indo-Europeans? Ye might get that impression from what has been presented herein to date. But it aint, as it were. It's for those who Honor the Goddess, tell the truth and constrain their appetites. So perhaps we, that is the Druidry in these parts, need to spell some of the Volsungs. Yepper. It's about time, fer it.

Red
_________

"So says the story that King Volsung let build a noble hall in such a wise, that a big oak-tre stood theirin, and that the limb of the tree blossomed fair out over the roof of the hall, while below stood the trunk within it, and the said trunk did men call Branstock."



Norse Cosmoology Notes by Badgemagus Swineherd, Tabby Labber

Skipping over the really hard part we get to a fountain from which 12 rivers flow in the world of mist. Southward is the land of light. Warm breezes blow from the land of light and these mingle with the cold of the ice of the land of mist. From these clouds of warmed up mist and melted ice sprang Ymir the frost giant and the Cow Audhumbla. Also there sprang other giants. So the food chain here is hoar frost and salt from the ice for Audhumbla and cow milk for the giants.

After awhile Audhumbla licks away at the ice and eventually licks some of the ice into the shape of a god who comes to life and marries a giantess. They have 3 sons, but the only important one is Odin. Odin murders Ymir and makes our world, Midgard, from Ymir's eyebrows. Then Odin magics an ash tree into a man, and an elder into a woman and they are the first people and Odin puts them in Midgard.

A mighty ash tree, Ysdrasill grew from the body of Ymir and it supports the whole universe. Somewhere on or about the large ash tree is Midgard, where we live. The gods live somewhere else on the tree in a place called Asgard. The ash has 3 roots with 3 springs. The Norns tend one of the roots, the one that feeds the part of the tree where Asgard sits. The other two roots are on their own. The Norns are sort of goddesses of time; past, present and future, maybe.

Odin's totems are ravens named Hugin and Munin, but known to the vulgar and ignorant as Heckel and Jeckel.

There is another important god in all this confusion named Loki. He has wolf and snake totems and also death at his beck and call. Thor, son of Odin, is yet another and is famed for killing giants. One interesting story is told of his meeting with Skrymir the Giant, and that is probably what I should be working on here instead of this somewhat larger theme.

There are some goddesses; Frigga, Freya, Sif, Nanna and Ran who perform some of the functions we would attribute to iterations of the White Goddess. For example, Freya is much like Blodeuedd. Nanna is a moon goddess.

Valkyries are daughters of Odin, but of uncertain maternity. Their job is to pick up dead warriors and take them to Valhalla to help Odin fight the giants some day. Brynhild is the most famous Valkyrie.

The Norse also have some interesting ideas about elves. There are two kinds. Pretty elves of the light, and ugly elves of the dark. The light elves are friendly and silly (to us). The dark elves are way smarter and don't much care about people one way or t'other. There are also a good many dwarves and giants, of course.
____________

Volsung Notes by Badgemagus Swineherd, Tabby Labber

1)Sigi son of Odin , is a werewolf who works his way up to being a king and marries a noble wife. He is of uncertain maternity. They have one son Rerir. Sigi is murdered by his wife' brothers. Rerir avenges his father and also marries a noble wife.

2) Rerir and his noble wife don't have any babies until Freya (goddess) sends them an apple via Ljod, a giant's daughter. Interestingly, she allegedly sends it to Rerir and he gives it to his wife. The queen eats the apple and becomes pregnant. Meantime Rerir dies or gets killed somehow.

3) The queen dies after carrying the baby for six winters. The story of this is; wearied at the progress of her pregnancy, and the prodigious size of the babe within, she says, cut it out, which they do. She dies but her son, Volsung survives. Note: To this point none of the wives/queens have names so they can't get euhemerized. Volsung is six years old when he is "born" .

4) Volsung grows up and marries the giant's daughter, Ldog. They have a big house built around an oak tree named Branstock (the Oak tree). They have 10 sons and one daughter. The oldest son and daughter are twinks, Sigmund and Signy. Odd this, that the house would contain and oak called Branstock. This could reflect the triumph of Gwydion over Bran, the White Goddess as constrained by the house of Odin; or a triumph over the sun god worshiping Druids, whose totem is the oak, or fear/worship of Jupiter whose totem is also the oak.

5) Seggier, another king, negotiates with Volsung for Signy, and marries Signy against her will and takes her home with him. Then he invites the Volsungs over to his place. The Volsungs go over to King Seggier's, despite Signy warning them not to. Volsung is killed in the ensuing ambush and all the boys are taken prisoner. The boys are put in a dungeon where one by one they are eaten by a she-wolf. (This part of the story may be a cautionary tale with redundancy as the theme). Sigmund, Signy's twink, is the last male Volsung and he allegedly kills the she wolf by smearing honey on his face and bites the wolf's tongue while she is licking the honey off his face. Wolf dies and Sigmund escapes. Meantime Signy is still married to Seggier. She has some kids with him all of whom she contrives to have murdered by Sigmund who is an outlaw in the woods. One night she changes shapes with a witch woman. The witch woman sleeps with Seggier that night and Signy goes off to the woods and sleeps with Sigmund. They begat Sinfjotli who turns out to be a dead end. A good while later Sigmund murders Seggier and Sinfjotli murders a couple more of Seggier and Signys's children, and Signy kills herself because of having been a bad wife to Seggier. Yikes! (Sometimes in these stories withches seem to be taking on the role of the Goddess as assistant in the revenge mode).

6) Sigmund lives on to become a king and marries Borghild. They have 2 sons, Helgi and Hamund. Helgi is the more famous of the two because the Norns visit him. Borghild poisons Sinfjotl for killing her brother and Sigmund drives her away and she dies.

7) Helgi marries Sigrun and becomes a great king and is visited by Norns, but has nought more to do with this story. Neither does Hamund who never even gets a Norn visit. Sigmund then marries Hjordis but is killed in a battle by devine intervention a little later. I.e., Odin makes an appearance.

8) Hjordis is great with baby by Sigmund, but now requires a new husband and so goes to have the baby at King Hjalprek's house so Hjalprek become foster father to the baby, but Hjordis later marries King Alf. She bears the baby and the baby is named Sigurd and gets reared up in the King Hjalprek's household with great honor. A while later, after he grows up some, Sigurd kills a worm named Fafnir, gets lots of treasure, avenges his father by wiping the Hunding clan that killed his father off the face of the earth, and then meets Brynhild the Valkyrie. Sigurd is now, obviously, a sun god. He learns lots of stuff including the speech of woodpeckers by eating some of Fafnir's heart. Later he lets Gudrun eat some of it (the worm heart) also. (This is another of the numerous examples in Norse mythology of the sun god taking on the role of the goddess who is usually the dispenser of these kinds of gifts). Sigurd also learns lots from Brynhild though who is regarded as being really smart. (The acquisition of knowledge by this sun god is repeated, worm heart and Brynhild, possibly to appease the Goddess.

9) Sigurd meets Brynhild and Brynhild foretells of Gudrun, the other woman.

10) Grimhild the "wise-wife" (another witch Goddess) is married to King Giuki. Besides Gudrun, their daughter, they have 3 sons; Gunnar, Hogni and Guttorm. She, Grimhild, it is who gives the cup of forgetfulness to Sigurd so he will forget Brynhild and marry Gudrun, which he does do. She also eggs Gunnar on to woo Brynhild. Brynhild is tricked into thinking Gunnar has dared her special fire which she sometimes surrounds herself with to keep unwanted visitors away, but it was really Sigurd that dared the fire, taking on the appearance of Gunnar, and Sigurd is complicitious in this trick, albeit he was drugged first to forget about Brynhild so he is sort of blameless except for being a liar.

Gunnar, who is another jerk, remarking on Brynhild, says it is a deed well worthy of death, that taking of Brnyhild's maidenhead; "So come now, let us prick on Guttorm to do the deed", meaning kill Sigurd. Ha! This is too much. Why do they want to kill Sigurd? I can't remember. Oh, now I do. Brynhild wants Gunnar to kill Sigurd as pay back for Sigudr's role in tricking her. she also wants Sigurd's son killed, but I can't remember Sigurd having a son and in any event the son is never mentioned in the story again. Anon, Guttorm kills Sigurd and is in turn slain by Sigurd so that they are both dead.

11) Brynhild realizes she has been tricked into marrying Gunnar and that Sigurd was party to the trick, but that she really loved Sigurd and now he is dead on her account, so she kills herself.

12) Gudrun, Sigurd's widow, eventually remarries, this time to King Atli (Attila the Hun).

13) Atli kills Gudrun's remaining brothers, Gunnar and Hogni.

14)Gudrun with the aid of Hogni's surviving son, Niblung, kills Atli and all his children.

15) Gudrun somehow gets away with all this and winds up married to King Jonakr. They have 3 sons plus Swanhild which is Sigurds x Gudruns child which may be the son Brynhild was referring to ear;ier, but got mixed up about. The boys are Hamdir, Sorli and Erp.

16) A certain King Jormunrek wants to marry Swanhild and sends his son, Randver, as ambassador to woo her. Swanhild doesn't want to marry the old man, but does like Randver as she discovers on the trip to Jormunreks house. They know one another during the sea voyage over to Jonmunrek's kingdom and Jonmunrek executes both of them after being tipped off about their tryst.

17) Gudrun sends her sons Hamdi and Sorli and Erp to avenge Swanhild. Then dies of heartbreak herself, maybe. (I'm not sure if she is sincerely dead or not. This one seems like a Goddess). Hamdi and Sorli are off to kill Jonmunrek but kill Erp first because he shows some signs of intelligent thought and this offends them. After they kill Erp, then they go along and kill Jormunrek, but in their turn are killed by Jormunrek's people with Odin's help.

___________

Alrighty then. Goddess help me make some sense of this, please, because it is right confusing to my mind.

Badgemagus, why don't you try leaving out all the extraneous he-man stuff.

All righty then. I'll try that.

___________

There was a great place of mist and ice and from the south a Great Cow came wandering and took up her abode there. The Great Cow licked at the ice and her breath warmed it, and as she licked at the ice and shaped it and gave off fumes and fragrances of Her own to mix with the mist and ice; the sky and earth, the sea and stars congealed from the mist and ice. Then from the earth and the dung she put upon it came life and over time these took on new shapes and semblances until some came to be like those we see about us to this day.

Now this particular Cow liked pretty things which is one of the reasons she licked things into certain particular shapes and not merely random shapes. She had some notions about Herself and how she might want to appear at times to Her various creatures. So anon She made an image of Herself in the likeness of a female person and this is what we call the White Goddess, the Great Cow in human form, beautiful and terrible, the Authoress of everything we have been, are now , or will ever be, and as with us, this is also true of all the little wonders who have their own images of the Goddess.

So now come the mighty men of the ages. First, they figure out how paternity works which takes awhile. If it hadn't taken awhile then Sigi and Rerir would be able to give the names of their children's mothers. But at that time they couldn't because they didn't know about paternity and had to make up lies about apples to explain difficult situations.

Then comes the first sun god , Volsung, whose dad is a god and whose mother is unknown. Volsung marries Ldog, a goddess and we have the concept of paternity from this point on. This is a new concept for Volsung though, therefore the backhanded reference to Bran and the oak tree, which acknowledges the Druidry free fall into sun god worship.

Then comes the dual theme of subjugation of the Goddess followed hard upon by the wrath of the Goddess. The Goddess is forced to marry a jerk and every man involved gets murdered or eaten by a she-wolf (obviously the goddess) including a bunch of them that didn't have much to do with the subjugation process, but probably would have if they had been important enough. Sigmund though temporarily escapes and becomes the replacement sun god for the old one. For Volsung, the sun has set.

Sigmund marries Borghild but this marriage goes nowhere historically speaking even though they have two sons. Borghild does, however, do pay back on Sinjoftli because in addition to killing the two babies of Seggier, he also killed her brother. This subplot is obviously just thrown in as commentary on incest which Sinjoftli is the product of. Or maybe it reflects soemwhat of history.

But Sigmund needs a new wife now, so he marries Hjordis, the fairest and wisest of womankind. But shortly after supposedly knocking Hjordis up, Sigmund is killed, probably because he is old. Not surprisingly Odin is implicated in the killing. Again an example of a sun god, this time Sigmund, waxing too powerful to be killed by mortals alone, and the usual sacrifice of the sun god to the Goddess is proscribed in this religion, so Odin assumes the role of the Goddess. There is no hint from the texts that Hjordis had any role in the demise of Sigmund.

Hjordis now has to go off and find a new foster father, King Hjalprek, that will be good to the baby boy, new sun god, Sigurd, she is carrying about inside her. This arranged she goes off and marries King Alf. (This is very confusing, to me. The only thing I can figure is that the author just had to get rid of Hjordis the potential Goddess).

Now the stage is set for the next cycle. And here I discover this all is just too many for me.

In confusion,

Badgemagus Swineherd, Tabby Labber

I agree,

Cerridwen, White Goddess

No, I changed my mind. You keep after it Badgemagus.

Cerridwen, White Goddess

All righty then. Maybe I need to break the Sigurd parts up into stages. Or maybe I need a shot or two of Old Crow. Jeez Louise, here I go again.
_________

Sigurd x Brynhild - The tragedy here, I reckon, is that Brynhild is a career woman driven by goals and though she loves Sigurd, she can't commit to him right at that time. But then, of course she changes her mind later on, sort of.

Sigurd x Gudrun - Sigurd is enamored of Brynhild. But Grimhild the witch/Goddess gives him a drink that makes him forget about Brynhild. This sets the stage for the marriage of Sigurd x Gudrun. They do get married and for a time , five seasons)things are Okie Dokie, Sigurd even lets Gudrun eat some of the worm's heart, but.........

Sigurd/Gunnar x Brynhild - Grimhild spells to her eldest boy, Gunnar, that Brynhild would make him a good wife. Soon everyone thinks this is a swell notion and everyone "pricks" Gunnar to go a-wooing. But when he tries to reach Brynhild to woo her, he can't get through a fire she has around her. Now though, Gunnar and Sigurd change semblances and Sigurd goes through the fire and woos Brynhild and wins her for Gunnar. This semblance changing is recurrent, little witch antics, and really annoying. Obviously, all this shape shifting is in imitation of transmigration.

I, Badgemagus realize that I am spelling the same stuff redundantly here, but I'm weak, weak and stupid.

Ahem. All righty then.

So Sigurd and Brynhild should have gotten married to unite a God and Goddess and since they were both really smart, they could have figured out lots of stuff and things would have been better for everyone. But this didn't happen and the blame is Brynhild's for being a Tomboy, maybe.

The real player here seems to be Grimhild who must think that her son Gunnar can be elevated to sun god status if he marries the Goddess Brynhild. But she already has that sowed up through her daughter's marriage to Sigurd. Perhaps, Grimhild is playing Cerridwen and doing so winnowing of the prospects. It is noteworthy that we never hear of the death of Grimhild, or of her daughter Gudrun either really. In any event, she has engendered the death of a sun god presumably in his prime and a goddess.

Gudrun x Atli - Gudrun marries Atli and the revenge/death cycle is repeated for the third time and another old sun god, Atli, is snuffed as are Gudrun's brothers.

Gudrun x Jonakr - Gudrun weds King Jonakr and they rear up some sons for revenge/death cycle #4.

Swanhild x Jonmurek - Here is an example of a surrogate, in this case Jonmurek's son, being sacrificed instead of the old king, Jonmurek. That Swanhild, the presumptive goddess is killed too, indicates that a black evil is at work in the land. In any case Gudrun sends her sons to repeat the revenge/death cycle for the fifth and last time in this telling of the end of the Volsungs and Giukings.

I Badgmagus, have done my best, but it will take more than a Tabby Labber to sort all this mess out.

Badgemagus, Tabby Labber
________

You did well-enough Badgemagus, except for that Cow malarkey.

Cerridwen

Ray's Thought for the Day - I 10, '05

There's these orchids that grow, not right at the Cow Barn, but up on the limestone and Austin Chalk, generally around these parts. They are very interesting, especially the big whitish ones, so much so, that we may have to include them among the official Cow Barn totem plants. In fact, I'll ask Red right now about just that.

Red, can we include the Hexalectris orchids in these parts as some of our official totem plants at the Cow Barn? They are known as coral roots among the smarter class of the vulgar and ignorant in these parts.

Gaul dern it Ray, I'm half asleep. Leave ol Red be til he's had a cup a coffee er two.

All righty then.

Red needs a cup of coffee or two.

Raymone's Word du Jour - euhemerize

eu·he·mer·ism n.

A theory attributing the origin of the gods to the deification of historical heroes.


[After Euhemerus, fourth-century B.C. Greek philosopher.]

tr.v. eu·he·mer·ized, eu·he·mer·iz·ing, eu·he·mer·iz·es

To explain or interpret euhemeristically.
_______

This word is important. If you get euhemerized you become a god or goddess.
__________

I want to become a god or goddess. How do I do that?

Easy that. You get people to tell lots of stories about you. At first the stories are just more or less facts, about you, then the stories become myths and then the myths take on lives of their own and you become a god or goddess. All this could take a while.

A couple of apparently sincerely dead examples of euhemrized gods are King Arthur and Jesus. Cu Chulaind is an example of this sort too. His myth, has him getting sacrificed to the goddess, like Samson and Hercules and a bunch of other heroes, that get themselves sacrificed.

Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes, on the other hand, is an example of someone living, who has become so totally famous, due to all her works, that even though she is really a living Druidess, she is already so famous, that she is a goddess. None of us can think of a practical joke without seeing a vision of good ol Nancy.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Ilex 8, 05

Today I, Ray, be fired up.

The calendar I am keepin is showin signs of improvement.

The first rain fell since mid May (early Crataegus) and Red says it (the rain) loosened the grip of the Demon Drought on the Cow Barn. It's the first rain in these parts since before I, Ray, started keepin track of time.

This weekend's Potential Safety Topic I foretell, will be Wishin.

So to spell that formally would be:

Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazard - Wishin.

Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish, I wish tonight.

Comin up, anon.

sun gods - Cu Chulaind

As Ray and Rayetta were discussin yesterday in the subtopic subtopic we might need to re-tell a sun god story about now. We'll start with this one.

When he got riled up, you would of thought that every hair on his head was being driven down through his skull and a spark of fire was on every hair as if iron hammers beat on tiny flints. One eye squeezed down to the size of a midge while the other swole up to the size of a saucer. He'd grin from ear to ear and open his mouth so wide that a fair sized dog could run into it. When he woke one mornin and stretched, two dolmen on either side of him sundered. He could carry a full grown man or two on his back and a pig under each arm and go along at a fair pace, when he was six. He also generally acted six, which fact, complemented by his great strength and uncertain temper made most everyone stand off a neighborhood er two (from him).

One day Conchubur decided, as was his custom, to take a bunch of us off free loadin with him, 50 of us to be exact, to visit with Culand who ran a cow calf operation in the Connachta border country. We got to Culand's place, early afternoon, and feasted and drank fer a spell. Then, near dusk Culand got our attention fer a minute an proclaimed that he needed to shut the place up fer the night and turn the dog loose. Culand's custom was to lock up at night fer fear of rustlers and murderers, and to loose his dog to guard the cattle. Now this particular dog was the size of a small ox and it took nine grown men to haul him any place he didn't want to go, and that strategy only worked when they had three chains on the dog and ever one of the grown men had a good grip. So all of us went out to gawk at the loosin of the dog and the closin of the gate behind the dog and once ever one had gawked at those events we went back in the house.

A short while later we heard a great to do from outside and figured the dog had caught someone fer dinner. But a while after that we heard a great poundin on the gate and a great hollerin too, "lemme in, or else". We all went out again then, and proceeded to look through the peepholes of the gate and there he was, the six year old pacin back and forth, pausin anon to hammer the gate, appearin as described in the first paragraph above, only worse, and draggin that big ol dog by its neck. The dog was sincerely dead.

Then we all started makin chin music about what to do about the boy. Some said he was too dangerous to be let in and others said that if we didn't let him in, he'd break down the gate and beat the tar out of us. There was some danger of a generalized panic attack breakin out, but fortunately Senchae and Cathub come up with a plan for simmerin the boy down.

"That boy is shy", Senchae foretold, "around naked ladies." "So here's what we'll do. Culand you tell the ladies of the house to take off their clothes and bunch up over by the gate. Then Red, you spell open the gate real fast and get a couple of those big husky Ulaids yonder to yank hard on the gate just in case you fidget, and then the naked ladies can rush out and surround the boy. He'll hide his eyes from the naked ladies and while he's not watchin, the rest of the Ulaid can jump on him and subdue him."

But Cathub said, "Maybe just to be on the safe side, we should also fill up three big tubs of water and set them over by the gate. Then when the big husky Ulaids grab the boy, they can throw him in the water to cool him off.

"Why three tubs?"asked Senchae.

"One may not be enough." foretold Cathub.

Meantime while the water tub preparations were underway, the boy had most pounded the gate down and wrenched the gate posts up and thrown the dog over the gate. It (the dog) landed on Conchubur and conked him out.

But when all the water tub preparations were at last prepared, I, Red spelled open the gate with a little help from a couple of the big husky Ulaids and the naked ladies rushed the boy. Sure enough, as Senchae foretold, he was shy and dropped his eyes from the advancing ladies. But when two or three of the big husky Ulaid jumped him, they received big boy whuppins, for he looked at them with his saucer eye and looked at the naked ladies with his midge eye. That part of the preparations didn't work. But the ladies stepped back into the fray and they were the ones that herded the boy over to the first water tub and put him in it. He burst that tub asunder from the great heat he gave off. So then the ladies put him in the second tub and he merely heated the water to a rollin boil in that one. Then they put him in the last tub and all he could manage was room temperature water. After that we could see he was calmed down sufficient to converse with and reason with at a six year old level. So Cathub told the ladies that hadn't already done so that they could go get dressed, and some of the big husky Ulaids drug the dog off Conchubur. Then we all went back in the house to have a Dolmen Stout or two which ever one deserved on account of the scare we had all had. Senchae and Cathub took charge of the boy.

After we'd all had a Dolmen er two, Culand rose up and started hollerin "That boy kilt my watch dog, that boy kilt my watch dog", and some of us felt sorry for Culand and some of us felt sorry for the dog.

Then the boy rose up and said "Culand, I'm sorry I kilt yer watch dog and to make it up (to ye), I'll be yer dog until I can train up a pup to make my place."

"Fair enough" said Culand.

Then up rose Cathub. "This boy shall have a new name, and that name shall be spelled Hound of Culand".

That's how Cu Chulaind got a new name, which by the way he (Cu Chulaind) didn't much like, preferring his previous name Setantae.
________

So there's us a sun god story. Those who have read somewhat of books, may be experiencing, with Raymone, day ja vu.

Red's Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn Evangelical Review and, Summary

subtopic, subtopic - Uh, what do you mean some of it's new information.

#3 and #7. I don't think we've spelled those out yet.

Sure we have.

I don't think so, Ray! #3 is practically all new and we have only mentioned sun gods en passant, as if everyone knows what sun gods are, when I can assure you that in fact, only a very few of us know what they are.

Oops. Too late now. We can repeat them, #3 and #7, anon, in the main topic and that will be the same difference.

Oh yes Ray. We can always just repeat, anon, the "brand new information" that you have just provided in the "review and summary" and that will be "the same difference". You know what you are Ray?

No, what?

An idiot.

No I'm not. We could change the title of this subtopic to review and foretelling and that would be the same difference.

The same difference as what?

I can't remember.

Ray, what you were supposed to do was spell just what had been spelled in the topic previously so people could check and see if they had missed anything. Now some of them may go hunting for all those details you put in #3 and #7 and not find them and think you are a liar.

No they won't, because I didn't lie, I just forgot. They'll understand.

Ray. How could you forget what wasn't in the topic yet?

I have been foretelling it Rayetta. That's how I forgot.

You know Ray, I'm giving you the benefit of a doubt on this, because I really do think you're an idiot.

Thanks Twink.
_________

Red's Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn Evangelical Review and, Summary of Everything Spelled so far Except #3 and #7, Maybe

1) Lying is a really bad sin, for Druids. This is because Druids are really good at spotting lies and will do pay back. So it is very important, to keep the peace, that we not lie to each other.

From now on, exceptionally noteworthy lies that come to our attention may be satirized under the subtopic "Troublin Thoughts, Troublin Evidence."

2) Gluttony is a really bad sin, for Druids. This is because Druids are really good at spotting gluttony, and will do payback. So it is important, to keep the peace, that we not be gluttons.

To satirize the sin of gluttony, a new subtopic, "Shoat Bloat" is foretold.

3) The White Goddess, for Druids is not an abstraction. She is a real person. We know what She looks like because we have seen her in dream and vision, and walking around in this world. Of Her Druids, She requires no "leap of faith". Oddly, it seems that we Druids are not the only ones that see Her.

4) We honor the White Goddess, for we are Her little wonders, together with all the other little wonders She has given us to play with and learn about and avoid the sin of gluttony with respect to.

5) We honor the White Goddess for the Cosmoology, which for the Druids maybe, remains an unsolved riddle.

6) We really like Her totems and find that stories about them are very interesting and amusing and make us feel safe and happy or sad and brave. Sometimes though, the stories we tell about Her, are a little scary, maybe.

7) We really like Her sun gods too, and find that stories about them are very amusing and interesting and make us feel safe and happy or sad and brave, or maybe just annoyed.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Quercus 5, '05

Raymone, come here a minute. What does this spell?

"Ancien nom d'une plante inconnue et recoltee par les druides; peut-etre d'origine celtiques."

Eet voulez mon stupide que "the ancient name of an obscure plant the druides collected and that the name is perhaps of Keltic origin".

All righty then.

Samolus. It must be S. valeriandi they were collectin. That explains why Red puts S. ebracteatus in the cattle feed, maybe.

Liturgical Loose Ends

Throughout the long history of all the Druidry, not only the Druidry in these parts, we have been caught upon the horns of a great cow, a totem cow, a good vs. evil cow, that ambles across space and time with all the Druidry caught upon her horns. We have presumed at times to steer this enigmatic cow, spelling upon first one horn, for direction, then upon the other.

But we, the Druidry, are tiny little things, and if you were really big, like the good vs. evil cow, you would need the finest Russian microscope to see us. It is a fact, however, that the good vs. evil cow does have the finest Russian microscope ever made, and uses it (the finest Russian microscope ever made) to check up on us, the Druidry, from time to time. The reasons she does this is to see what we are up to and why we may be spelling more on one of her horns than the other.

The good vs. evil cow's Russian microscope has this characteristic. She can look into it and see any time and any place. Today, she has focused in on the Salisbury Plain where two of her Druids, Bran and Gwydion, are spelling for direction. With Bran and Gwydion are assembled the Druidry and people and many of the plants and animals resident in those parts. But the assemblage is not in accord for some are with Bran on the west of the plain, while some stand with Gwydion on the east. Then of a sudden the Druidry and people and plants and animals on the west spell against those others on the east and vice versa. It is a great contest, but in the end, the guile and trickery of Gwydion prevails. Bran and his supporters are routed and Gwydion proclaims victory.

Then Gwydion wonders, "The stone circles are all mine, does anybody know how they work?".

from "Notes on the Druid Cosmoology"
Badgemagus Swineherd, Tabby Labber

Ray's Thought for the Day - Quercus 4, 05'

The Cow Barn is a safe and happy place, in the eye of a great storm.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Quercus 03, '05

Lemme see. Junco phaeonotus has the common name yellow-eyed junco. I recollect though that its actual common name is fierce-eyed junco. Yikes! Rayetta has looked at me just like that.

Credit Where Credit is Due

Certain words and phrases that are persistently over used in these parts (or will be), and have, consequently, become important spells, in these parts, and are now part and parcel of the pantheon of ultimate words and phrases for any of you that read them, deserve credit, where credit is due.

"What are the penultimate sources for some of these?", You might query.

Easy that. Examples.

Tabby
too stupid to eat candy
Lomo sapien
Rump Ranger

Penultimate Source.

Easy that. Judy the Magnificent.
______________

What about the big spell, "all righty then", and it's variant "alrighty then"? you query.

Easy that. Jeanne the Force of Nature
______________

Note: The above is abstracted from Druid Sourcery, a big book (big spell) that the Goddess keeps. More "Credit Where Credit is Due",Anon

The Ark Druid

Ray's Thought for the Day - Quercus 2, '05

Lemme see. How do the sins of lyin and gluttony affect me professionally?

I, Ray, am working as a Druid in the sphere of providin agricultural advice to the public so that makes me, Ray, a consultant. Easy that, to figure, that being the professional calling of Druids everwhere at all times.

Further, I Ray, have to know somethin on a subtopic or two to get to the consultant phase in the first place. Easy that, I, Ray, have been studying up on the little wonders for many moons. Easy that, easy to do.

But then here's the troubling part. I, Ray, would rather opt for a #3, than have the Goddess opt, for a #4, especially if She opts for a #4a for the dearly parted, Ray. Rayetta made all that abundantly apparent in her subtopic relatin to what happens to me, Ray, when I am sincerely dead. So that means I, Ray, need to take Dr. Swineherd's subtopic, Druid Ethics, as rules, not just guidelines.

So. First thing I need to ask myself when considerin a consultation is, "Am I, Ray, lying?, am I, Ray, being a glutton?" Easy that.

_____________

Note: Ray's competition in the consultation business, in these parts, includes those with little or no ethical training, even some that believe their sins will be forgiven.

The Ark Druid