Post WS Class Aves at the CB

Yesterday, for the first time in many moons, some Monk parakeets actually landed at the CB. Here part of that is.

And an accipiter, by the look of him a Sharpie, spent some time fixing to flush House Sparrows out of this Bush of Heaven. This particular Bush of Heaven is exclosed to keep the hoof rats off it.

The weather!

We have endured three frosty nights in a row now. Those frosts are keeping the insects down. But those same frosts are too wimpy to nip the sow thistle rosettes. Go figure! We have no insects but plenty of sow thistle, and bur clover.

Yes. With the demise of much of the native grass and all the recent rain, the Eurasian weeds have come on with a vengeance. Did anyone surmise that climate change might finish those Eurasian winter weeds off in these parts? Mercy!

Baby Demon Mammon

Have you still got some last minute shopping to do, today? If so, the Baby Demon Mammon loves you. And you love, the Baby Demon Mammon.

Here’s a helpful hint for you weary, hysterical shoppers. Slow down. Take a deep breath. Now chant - BABY-DEMON-MAMMON. Repeat until you are revived and ready to shop again. Mercy! You, the weary and restless must call upon the Baby Demon Mammon.

Yes. Once again, as the world turns, the Baby Demon Mammon’s birthday is upon us. Mercy! For devotees, it’s your last chance to help save the economy this year. And if you don’t help save the economy this year, well, you are a stinker and a spoil sport. Nevertheless, the Baby Demon Mammon may forgive you. So you can help save the economy next year.

But how did the Baby Demon Mammon crowd Baby Jesus out of the crib. Well. It’s comparable to a nest parasite situation. We espy a happy little family consisting of Joseph, Mary and the Baby Jesus. Uh. But then, Gods will be Gods. And one more slice off the loaf won’t be missed. And pretty soon there are twain little babies in a nest or crib. After a while, one of the babies grows way big and kicks the other baby out of the nest. It’s hard. Hard, but a true fact of life as we know it.

That’s essentially how the Baby Demon Mammon took Christmas away from Baby Jesus. Praise the Goddess for Winter Solstice!

Results of the First Annual CB Winter Solstice Bird Count

Let’s get the excuses out of the way first. OK. There are almost no insects at the CB. Plus, the wild food crop is abysmal. There are no pecans, only a few of last years Ilex fruits, no hackberries, no buckthorn fruits, no grapes, no mallow apples or pods, no beans of any kind, no composite achenes, no grass seed, no citrus fruit, no acorns, a tiny few coral berry fruits, no persimmons, no green brier, no poison ivy, no Rhus of any kind, . Did I leave anything out? Well. There aint any of that either. Or, there is almost no bird food in these parts except for what we put out for Class Aves. Mercy!

No more excuses.

The dawn broke with the last of the clouds moseying off toward the east horizon. Espy the waning crescent moon. Anon, Ogma’s fiery gaze lit all up. That’s right. What could we then espy in the light of day? That the rain fell hard last night. The rain gauge read 2.5 inches. But that was for the several days or maybe a week, not just last night. Yet for the first time in the calendar year 2011 of the Julian, the pastures featured puddles. Yes. The CB had the first standing water of the current Julian year. For heaven’s sake!

The day proved clear and pleasant throughout. Not too cool, not too hot with temperature mostly in the 50s to mid 60s. Nary a cloud in the sky. The wind was light from the NNW.


See here is a foot long stick, stuck in the ground. See how long its shadow falls at high noon. You can't get further tilted from Ogma ever, in these parts.

All righty. We counted all the birds that lit in the yard or flew directly over the yard. Birds seen nearby the yard, but not in or over it are included and so noted. Birds seen during the week, but not counted today are so noted

The Actual Pitiful Count Total

Turkey Vulture 1
Black Vulture 2
Cooper’s Hawk 1 seen yesterday
Red-tailed Hawk 1
White- winged Dove 22
Rock Dove 1
Eurasian Collared Dove 2 seen during week of count
Inca Dove 4
Roadrunner 1 seen during week of count
Red-bellied Woodpecker 2
Downy Woodpecker 1
Blue Jay 5
American Crow 1 seen nearby today
Carolina Chickadee 2
Tufted Titmouse 1
Bewick’s Wren 1
Northern Mockingbird 1
European Starling 1
House Sparrow 46
Great-tailed Grackle 2 seen nearby
Northern Cardinal 2
Pyrrhuloxia 1
House Finch 10
American Goldfinch 2 (5 seen yesterday)
Lesser Goldfinch 18
Chipping Sparrow 7

The End - Pitiful - 26 species, not all today. Mercy! What’s really sad is the near absence of mostly insectivorous species. No warblers, no kinglets, no vireos, almost no wrens. One mockingbird. Hmm. We have had a Ruby-Crowned Kinglet and a couple of Yellow-rumped Warblers, but we can’t recollect if they appeared during the count week. If so, that would be two more species.

Winter Solstice Eve

Goodness gracious sakes alive! Tomorrow is Winter Solstice (WS)plus the first ever CB WS Bird Count. And we are ready. Are we ? Except nobody is fixing to stay up all night listening for owls. So if any owls get counted, they are going to need to get real close outside a window and wake somebody up. Not unheard of.


Today we spent much of the day practicing. Like, for example, we needed to practice counting goldfinches. Yes. We had twain goldfinch species present today with American goldfinches trying to horn in on the seed socks as seen here. That's an American on top with four lessers below.

We have also documented a bit of interspecific aggression. An American, not this one, scared two lessers off the other sock. Not shown. Mercy!

Winter Solstice, Upcoming

In just a few days, the major Druid holiday, Winter Solstice (WS), shall be upon us. With that fact in mind, Crumby decided to pen an essay: What Winter Solstice Means to Me?

What Winter Solstice (WS) Means to Me? By C. Ovate

But then Crumby decided that vitamin D shortages, bestiality, cannibalism and incest are not fit topics this time around. Maybe later. Yet Crumby does feel obliged to provide some free holiday advice. Milk is a good source of Vitamin D. So plan ahead for winter. Make sure your milk cow or goat can provide you with plenty of milk and Vitamin D. And remember, you won’t get any milk if you have already et your cow or goat.

So instead of dwelling on the potential vitamin D shortage, the CB Druids may celebrate the upcoming WS by holding a WS bird count at the CB. This would be our first ever, official, WS Bird Count. And actually, we have already started the festivities. Yesterday, we practiced counting house sparrows (Passer domesticus).

The house, or English sparrows, as many prefer to call them, spend most of their alloted time sitting amid or on the mess of grape vines that demarcates the garden from the east pasture. Yet at intervals they yen for a black oil sun flower seed or two. Then, driven by hunger, they bum rush the feeders. Apparently, bum rushing the feeders may be an anti-predation strategy. But who actually knows?

Interestingly, the feeders were up for a couple of months before the house sparrows snapped to the fact that the feeders contained something good to eat. Which is odd, considering the house finches were front and center almost the first day, and the house sparrows sat a few feet away, watching the house finches eat sunflower seeds. Goofy!

Anyway, it’s very hard to actually count the house sparrows. That’s because, when most of them are actually visible, sitting on the outer branches of the grape vine tangle, they are also bum rushing the feeders at seemingly random intervals. Nevertheless, after much effort, we decided there were about 42 house sparrows present on yesterday’s practice house sparrow count.

Today, we are fixing to practice counting white-winged doves, the other mass quantity avian species at the CB. Then, once we get proficient with them, we shall be ready for the WS count this upcoming Thursday. Praise the WG with great praise!

Downy Woodpecker and Dogs, the Same Difference

Many have asked, How are downy woodpeckers like dogs? Well. Your downy woodpecker, just like your dog, will eat anything. That's correct. This particular downy woodpecker is eating pepper flavored suet. But not nice fresh pink suet. No. This suet is super gross; covered in mold and mildew. Yet this downy, just like a dog, eats it up.

Seriously, the suet looks so bad that Crumby was worried that it might kill all the woodpeckers. But this downy is the only woodpecker that eats the suet. And he keeps coming back for more. It's exactly like a dog getting into the litter box. Mmm!

No Sparky! Bad dog! Drop that cat shit!

No Mo Olympus!

The gear list for the CB includes Olympus cameras, lenses and tape recorders. We might have an endoscope too, if that wasn’t cost prohibitive. Actually though, come to think of it, a home endoscope might be cost effective considering the advanced years of the CB denizens. Like old Red; Red probably could use a good scoping every month or two. Plus, Crumby and Ray might actually get their hiney holes looked up if they could do each other in the comfort of the CB. That would be interesting. Which would go first? Who would be the looker versus lookee?

But that’s crazy. We are certainly not fixing to purchase an Olympus endoscope. That’s right. The lack of progress on the camera front, leaving us stuck with a bunch of lenses that will be useless once the dslr finally breaks down, has put us off Olympus products generally and prompted a happy switch to Canon for our camera requirements. So no home Olympus endoscope.

Well. Sadly, we now may know why Olympus made little progress on camera sensors and related what not. The bosses at Olympus were stealing most of the money. So scanty of the green was left over, post thievery, for research and development. That’s why Olympus cameras, since Heck was a pup, feature the same sensor, no matter the camera model.

Nevertheless, here we espy an Olympus product that is still occasionally in use at the CB. What we use it for is snore verification. Like one of us may be accused of snoring, yet vehemently deny it, snoring. After all, even a Druid may not be aware of his or her own snores. But with this particular tape recording device, one can get the suspected snorer on tape. Goodness!

So let’s say Rayetta’s snores are keeping Crumby up all night. Yet Rayetta always denies that she even snores, ever. But when Crumby makes a tape of Rayetta’s snores, there is no more denying the truth. Uh. Be advised that many, such as Rayetta, may not like having their snores taped.

Oh! The picture was taken with the Canon 60D and 50mm 1.8. The available Oly equipment could not produce an equivalent picture without flash or a tripod. For heaven’s sake! Sadly, the E 330 is pretty much no count even for documentation photography.

The Insects Task

Ray, and by extension, his bosom companion, Crumby has been tasked with fixing up all the hundreds of insect photos that they took prior to insects becoming scarce in the Booblico Tejas due to climate change. What that means is, we need to run all those old insect photos through our most recent version of Paint Shop Pro, X2.

It's a lot of tedious work. But somebody has to do it. Well. Not actually. Fixing up those insect pictures may actually be less important than Lady Bachman's presidential campaign. So nobody actually needs to do it. But never mind that. Like Lady Bachman's campaign. It's something to do.

Yes. It's something to do that provides momentary refuge from the ugly reality of life as we may or may not know it. Yes.

Here is an old bug picture just revived. Female sachem during better climatic times.

Stinky Valley, Que?

Many have speculated as to how Stinky Valley got its name, Stinky. Well. It’s a story that begins with the long history of water engineering. Long ago, the water engineers made their greatest and most enduring discovery. Water, runs down hill. Eureka!

Once the water engineers figured out that water runs down hill, much followed. Like for example, the water engineers eventually realized they could bury pipes in all the streams and creeks, connect all the do do emitters to those particular pipes, connect all those pipes to bigger pipes and then pipe all the do do somewhere else. Eureka!

So that’s what they did. And that’s how all the human shit, piss and corruption winds up somewhere else. Incidentally though, digging up the creeks and streams to bury the sewage pipes provided dispersal corridors for plenty of non-native plant species that were usually employed as re-vegetation agents on the do do transport projects. That’s one of the reasons the creeks and stream banks sport humongous assortments of non-native weeds in these parts.

But all that aside, while water undoubtedly, when left on its own, runs down hill, do do, sometimes known as shit, or paydirt, does not. So if there is insufficient piss or mung water to float the do do along, the do do, settles out.

That’s what happens in Stinky Valley. The do do floats into the pipes in the creeks. But then, what with the never ending drought or shortage of mercurial water eventually turning to runoff, instead of floating out of sight and mind, the do do just squats there, in the pipes, buried in the creeks. So what does the do do, do then? Did you guess, stink? Yes. The do do stinks. Thus, Stinky Valley.

Well. Actually, Stinky Valley also features a fleet of about 250 diesel school buses. When cranked up, they stink too. Stinky Valley!

Cardinalis sinuatus

Well I never. That’s what Rayetta said when she first espied the pyrrhuloxia. Yes. The bird feeders at the CB currently sport a pyrrhuloxia. Is this yet another portent or indicator of the desertification fixing to afflict these parts? Maybe.

Bicycle Security

In these parts, Austink and vicinity, one could easily frail a bicycle thief with a dead cat. Well. Maybe not easily, but there is some probability that one could, maybe, depending a priori on the availability of a deceased feline. That’s why the local craigslist features almost daily pleas from luckless former cyclists who just had a bike stolen out from under his or her taut or semi-taut buttocks. Please! If you see this bicycle, my only means of transportation that was also bequested to me by my recently departed, etc.

They say, Go not to the Druids for advice. Because, chances are the Druids shall satirize you. However, Druids often provide , free, unsolicited advice. Like if you want to keep your bike, don’t leave it out somewhere in the wilds all night long or even for a few hours. No. You need to take your bike home or keep it inside where the thieves are less likely to steal it. Good, free, Druid advice.


But if you absolutely have to leave your bike somewhere out in the wilds, like at the Stinky Valley Elementary bike rack, make sure you lock it up. Also, the lock needs to be at least half the size of your bike to have any chance of thwarting the myriad bicycle thieves out there. See. This bike, thanks to the supersized lock, is fairly safe.

Bicycle Security

No Rest for the Wicked or Evil Never Sleeps

These saws are not true, universally, or even always true on a more local scale. Nevertheless, they are sometimes true, somewhere, somehow. For example, this cat would normally be asleep. Yet here we espy a wide awake cat closely watching a thin chicken through the window.

All this is happening at the CB since the bird feeders got put up. Yes. All those birds gobbling up seed or what not have attracted the attention of many predators and not just cats or thin chickens. This morning, as Crumby fixed to sashay forth into the east pasture, he was almost smacked down by a red-shouldered hawk. The wing feathers of that dern bird liked to brush Crumby’s cheek. Yet Crumby was not particularly surprised or startled. That’s because the hawks; sharp-shinned, Cooper’s red-shouldered and red-tailed, sally about fixing to eat potential prey birds on a daily basis. Plus, the great horned owls wake Crumby up at night, hooting. Mercy!

Geococcyx californianus

Like today, Crumby was taking a rare time out from his busy yet arduous schedule. Yes. Crumby was ensconced in his Lazy Boy cogitating over the many household chores awaiting, when all of a sudden, low and behold, a thin chicken appeared out of thin or rarefied air. Many also know the thin chicken as roadrunner or chapparal. Plus, the specific epithet is hard to beat, including as it does, both California and anus.

Therefore and so forth, Crumby raced for the camera and was lucky to get off the nearby shot. Lucky because the thin chicken is notoriously difficult to get documentation photographs of, or, on. It makes history for the Cow Barn.

With any luck, this particular thin chicken needs to fatten up on an English sparrow or two.

Ice in the Pot

Ice in the pot, ice in the pot, they ice in the pot, ice in the pot.

See! Frosty. Once again Crumby Ovate predicts future events.

Many may know that Stinky Valley is not called Valley for nothing. Plus, cold air sinks into a valley over night. So Stinky Valley is typically colder than surronding Austink. Which means that the hummingbird Crumby espied yesterday need not fly all the way to Mexico to keep warm. No. All that hummer need do is fly over to hothouse Austink where it practically never freezes.

Frosty

Well. Crumby feels like the jig is up. Already, Jack Frost has visited the CB thrice. Yet those times, old Jack was just fooling. This time, tonight, he is serious. This night, the horns on the billy goats may freeze off. So if you have billy goats, better put them up if you prefer your billy goats horned or horny.

And what do you know? Crumby has not espied a hummingbird since the first week of October. Then Goddess Gracious Sakes, here one came today, slurping at the Turk's caps, which are only now flowering like they ought, only to get nipped in the bud. Mercy! The dern poor old flora in these parts don't know whether they are coming or going. Mercy me and me oh my!

Accosted by a Ranger with a Pig Iron on His Hip

Pig Iron on His Hip

Yes. It is undoubtedly true that many figured the old Marty Robbins song featured a ranger toting pig iron. What’s more, the whole notion of associating police officers with pigs may have derived from those same defenders of the public order, or the bourgeoisie, toting pig iron as forecasted or foreskinned by Marty Robbins long ago. So, in other words, it was Marty Robbins who unintentionally got many calling the police, pigs. Mercy! Duh pig he comin’ down!

However, what about police officers who “labor” in parts with no bourgeoisie to protect. They must feel generally misunderstood or left out, relative to the greater scheme of monopoly capitalism, having to rely exclusively on the public order for job interest, maybe. Like here in quasi-beautiful Stinky Valley, for example, the original ruling elements departed many long years ago, probably for France. Yes. They sold off the land to developers and left everyone else holding the shit. Like why do you think it’s called, Stinky Valley?

Yet for some reason, the police, that were once here to protect the bourgeoisie, keep on protecting those that linger, long after the bourgeoisie have departed for France, maybe. Well, almost everybody gets protected. It’s like inertia. Protected by the police toting pig iron on their hips. Pig iron on their hips. Course let’s not forget the shopping areas. Maybe they stay to protect the many shopping areas with the pig iron on their hips. Pig iron on their hips.

Anyway, the song, Pig Iron, features an Arizona ranger with pig iron on his hip. The Arizona ranger, (how bizarre is that compared to the better known Texas ranger), employs his pig iron on a wicked outlaw, or maybe a Mexican, known as Texas Red. Goodness! How convoluted is that? What was Johnny, I mean Marty, thinking?

Like it’s always supposed to be a Texas ranger employing pig iron on some foreigner, proletarian or migrant worker. Not a dang Arizona ranger. Have there even been any Arizona rangers? If they existed at all, did they ever have access to pig iron? Ha! Really stupid!

As I pedaled Arizona on one hot or sunny day
I was accosted by a ranger who had nothing much to say
Except he says you need to drive a car, if you want to take a trip
Otherwise you’ll get accosted by the pig iron on my hip
Pig iron on my hip