Stinky Valley Environmental News

When April showers, don't come your way.
They bring forth prophets, that stay through May.

Sad but true. These parts lacked April showers entirely. Which means the prophets should be arriving any minute now, by the bus load. That's because prophets favor deserts as a backdrop for suffering. Will they bring their own water? Course not.

The great spring bird migration is about over in these parts. Did you miss it? Ray was alert so he espied the flocks of Franklin's gulls amounting to maybe 200 birds. Plus three great egrets that looked as if the were determinedly headed north. Then we had two black throated green warblers in the backyard. Here's one of those. Also, Nashvilles but they remained invisible if not inaudible. That's it. Although a few resident neotrops have put in an appearance.

The insects, once fixing to make a comeback, have belly flopped. Except for the fleas. For the first time in many moons we have plenty of fleas. Great! The fire ants seem to have slacked off. So that may account for the fleas making a comeback. Reckon the horny toads will come back too?

CB Gets a New Plant Species

Well Crumby, you should have known this would happen. Those finches were bound to drop seeds everywhere. Messy eaters.

Not necessarily Rayetta. They could have treated the seeds. Agricultural scientists can do that you know. Treat the seeds so they are still goldfinch edible, but can't germinate when dropped.

Sadly, what my sister and bosom brother are discussing is the new plant on the list at the CB. Turns out those "nyjer" seeds that come with those cute nyjer socks that we feed to the growing armies of goldfinches grow up to be prickly thistles with yellow flowers. So far we have found four plants fixing to flower.

Sadly, we are pretty sure safflower (Carthamus tinctoria) is a non-native respecting these parts. Thus, we may be obliged to sacrifice the newest addition to our flora to the WG. Which is confusing because we are feeding the expensive store bought seed to the birds. Why not grow free plants and let the birds have that seed? Confusing, eh!

Butterflies and Hummingbird Feeders

Curious Ray wanted to know. Do butterflies visit hummingbird feeders? Well. Yes they do Ray. But so far, only red admirals. And only one red admiral that visits the hummingbird feeder has actually learned to stick its tube in the hole. That would be the one on the left in this picture. Seems like though, hummingbird feeders would naturally attract butterflies and more butterflies would be smart enough to hit the hole.

Mercy Me and Me Oh My

These parts have enjoyed a wet cool season. But that's over now. The first half of April was rain free. Thus, with little hope for rain on-going, the Druids declare this growing season over for these parts. It was nice while it lasted.

Si. While the rain lasted, three of the big 4 cool season perennial grasses at the CB managed to produce plenty of florets. The cool season grasses are the new dominants among the Poaceae here. They are Texas wintergrass, Texas bluegrass and three-flower melic. The fourth important cool season perennial, that the wise call creek oats, has not seeded out yet, but better anon if it wants to reproduce sexually this year.

The warm season perennial grasses are screwed. If you are managing for them, you are seriously out of luck. Ask the Goddess for mercy.

Stinky Valley Environmental News - Ray Reports

Ray feels like all these dead caterpillars recently found in Stinky Valley may have had functioning assholes after all. No. It was probably not the lack of assholes that did them in. Instead, a pathogen, probably viral or bacterial, may have got them. Course like all environmental reporters in these parts, Ray has only anecdotal evidence supporting his newer hypothesis. To whit, the dead caterpillars turned into black goo. Si. The dearly departed featured as black goo is generally a sign of bacterial or viral infection.

Then too, Ray also noted a couple of deceased C7 lady bugs on a bunch of Rapistrum with mass quantities of caterpillar goo. Maybe those C7s also got into the pathogen. I bet they did. Cause lady bugs sometimes eat caterpillars or caterpillar like vermin that could have also been infesting the Rapistrum, maybe.

Another possibility is that some responsible party or human agent put something on the Rapistrum to kill the Rapistrum. That didn't work, but it did kill the caterpillar that was fixing to eat the Rapistrum. Yet this hypothesis is totally improbable. Remember, the only vegetation management option in Stinky Valley is mowing.

Funny that a caterpillar espies that there is plenty to eat out in the vast bastard rape/Malta starthistle community. And Goddess knows all that mustard and thistle won't be much missed. Then the caterpillar that is only fixing to do its natural job, gets poisoned. How much does that suck? Mucho.

Remember in a previous article Ray reported that the dead caterpillars were also festooning the Texas thiste. Well. What's wacky is, this caterpillar shown below, which may be a Painted American Hussy caterpillar, is doing just fine eating up the Texas thistle. Si. There are lots of these eating up the Texas thistle at this very nonce. What they do is, they build silk nests at the stem ends. Then these shameless hussies loll in silken luxury while dining on the handy yet delicious leaves. The poop accumulates at the opposite end of the boudoir.

Stinky Valley Environmental News

Reporter Ray is still fixing to get the scoop on the millions of dead caterpillars putrefying in these parts. Here's a good place to espy the deceased larvae, the bastard rape/Malta starthistle community. That's Malta starthistle in the middle. Yet an average reporter may also find them on Texas thistle, seen here in the background of the bastard rape/Malta starthistle community.
















Pre-expiration date, an average caterpillar looks like this.


















And this is a typical deceased pose. Goddess have mercy!

Stinky Valley Environmental News

Ray has been working on a mystery. And the mystery is, Why are dead caterpillars festooning the weeds in Stinky Valley at this very nonce? Here is one example of the horror Ray has espied.


The plant is Malta starthistle, a very nasty yet pesky weed which has recently become a prominent component of the Stinky Valley flora. The bug is Oncerometopus nigriclavus. The bug may or may not be sucking on the caterpillar. There is a dead caterpillar below the caterpillar with the bug. There is part of another dead caterpillar present also (the black goo hanging from the starthistle flower on the left).

Seems like similar scenes are in evidence across Stinky Valley. The catepillars are liable to be some Noctuid or other, maybe a single species, maybe more. But thousands have died. Countless thousands, I spell you!

Why did they have to die? Well. The current theory is that these particular caterpillars were born without assholes. That's because there weren't enough assholes to go around. It was like a temporary shortage due to Homo sapiens getting most of the assholes.

Yet the caterpillars were unaware that they had no assholes. So the caterpillars ate along as caterpillars are wont to do naturally. But the shit that accumulated in the caterpillars had no place to go. So the caterpillars, swollen up by their own shit, burst.

Whut it is? Whut it do? Whut the heck?

Like on the night of last April 11, Crumby left lights on for the moths. Five different moths showed up that Crumby figured he had a fair chance of identifying. Crumby photographed all those. Then there were a few moths that Crumby deemed hopelessly unidentifiable that he didn’t bother with. So far, out of the five, Crumby has succeeded in identifying one moth to species. That one is Bulia deducta. The other four remain mystery moths. Therefore, Crumby has a 20% Whut it is? profile.

However, Crumby has a 100% Whut it do? profile. Whut it do? It come to the light at night. Duh!

Plants, sedentary in nature, ought to be way easier to manage than moths. Here is an example, Pictured are three Bromes. Whut it do? Easy that, all are noxious weeds and generally no account.. In Stinky Valley, an average botanist is seldom out of sight of these particular Bromes.


















Whut it is? Top to bottom, these are rescuegrass, mystery brome, Jap brome. All these, in spite of unrelenting persecution, actually persist at the CB. But the middle one has appeared only lately. In Gould, it keys to Bromus secalinus, until the final couplet when an average botanist discovers the florets are too big, and the paleas are too big too. So it may not be, properly spelling, secalinus, whatever that is.

Well, the whole point of this exercise is to demonstrate that an average person may know Whut it do?, even when Whut it is? remains a mystery. Whut the heck?

Pseudo Environmentalism Runs Amuck

That's correct! Pseudo environmentalism runs amuck. Which may be slightly more obnoxious even than pseudo wrestlers run amuck.

That spelled, the time for meaningful action on the environment in these parts is long since past. So why not get in some more of the same old grand standing, bull shitting and pseudo environmentalism.

As everyone knows, Crumby's fellow member of the Bosom Brotherhood is Ray Pistrum, named after the early successional mustard, Rapistrum. What a cruel joke that was. Naming a little orphan bastard after a bastard rape. Mercy!

But now, responsible parties in these parts, fretting that bastard rape is fixing to take over, have started fixing to eradicate it, bastard rape, the mustard, not little orphan bastard molestation. No. Little orphan bastard molestation goes on and on. But we may get a handle on the bastard rape, yet.

Stinky Valley, for its part, has all of a sudden savagely attacked bastard rape with all the management tools at its disposal. All the management tools at its disposal is mowing. Matter of fact, mowing, at random or non-sensical intervals, is the entire environmental management progam on-going in Stinky Valley. Entire, if one leaves off tree planting followed by allowing the trees just planted to die of thirst.

Interestingly, though the tractor mower combo has been loosed on the bastard rape, bastard rape's inevitable associate, Malta starthistle, (Centaurea melitensis) is spared. Maybe that's because the starthistle gums up the tractor mower combo. Or maybe, the responsible pseudo environmental parties feel like Malta starthistle is not as bad of an introduced, obnoxious weed as is bastard rape. Go figure!

Oh well. With the bsstard rape gone, there should be plenty of room for Japanese brome, rescue grass, Johnsograss, KR, beggar's lice (both kinds), starthistle, bur clovers, etc. Jeez Louise!

After the Disaster

If grass actually dies, as opposed to playing possum, then plenty of the CB grass died during the great rainlessness of DY5. Yet as many know and few recognize, dead grass may make room for something different. Like maybe a different kind of grass or even a herb or two.

Let us espy. Once upon a time there was nought but Bothriochloa ischaemum. Then the God, Ray Pistrum, slew the Bothriochloa because it was wicked in his sight. Once the Bothricohloa was slewn or playing possum, Ray covered that spot with Buchloe dactyloides. And for a little while, that was good and way less evil or wicked than afore. Or so the God Ray surmised.

But alas. Buchloe is naturally disinclined to live everywhere. Soon the Buchloe died a miserable death or played possum too. But Holy Mackerel, the WG says, I shall fix this mess Ray has verily made.

Then, at the command of the WG, a great many weeds sprang forth on that particular spot, where before there had been just one weed and before that, just one weed also, too whit. But the main weed that sprang forth is red seed plantain (Plantago rhodosperma). So called because the seeds are actually red, and because it was a foodstock of the red Indian, red seed plantain is a friendly herb that welcomes many or offers something to everyone. Especially the Hoover fly, Toxomerus margiantus.

A Longjawed Spider

This particular spider, a longjawed spider, Tetragnatha, spins a horizontal web amid the herb tops. Here the spider is upside down on the underside of its web. One day, Crumby hopes to get a matching picture of the spider's top side. But for that to happen, this spider needs to flip over. That's because otherewise Crumby would need to actually crawl under the web placing his well worn and shorn noggin in close proximity to scratchy herb stems or fetid herb leaves. And then, squinting up through the optical viewfinder at the spider suspended in its web, Crumby would still need to focus. Yet the focal plane might already be too close to the spider for focus. What then? The average photographer Crumby would feel like a fool. Mercy! So hopefully, this spider regularly flips over.

A Subcategory of Druid Dichotomy - Coulda Woulda

Could a horse beat up a llama? Would a horse beat up a llama?

Could a llama beat up a pony? Would a llama beat up a pony?

Could a common raven beat up a blue jay?

Would a common raven beat up a blue jay?

For heaven's sakes. Lately a common raven has been hanging around the CB. Naturally, the jays have been going nuts, believing that a raven could, and would, beat them up.

But what's a raven doing in Stinky Valley in the first place. Is it an escaped pet, or what?

They're Everywhere

What about this spotted pyralid, Nomophila nearctica? An average person much like Crumby could go through his or her entire lifetime not espying one of these, and possibly, be none the worse fer it. Yet maybe Crumby is better off now than before. Only the WG knows.

In any event, as often happens, once you espy one of these, you may espy many? But why not before now if there are so many now? Is it man-made climate change?

Put Up Yer Dukes

Shadow boxing is plenty of fun for this particular spider which likes to hang out in the Boys Comfort Station at the CB. Maybe a Xysticus? Maybe not.

Meantime, the capitalist running dog vermin and their imperalist pals keep fixing to make me give them a mobile phone number. What's that all about?