Fly Drowns Sorrows in Neilmed Squirt Bottle

Many may notice at this very nonce in these parts, that the few insects around are liable to come in the house. That’s because they may know they will freeze to death if they stay outside all night. So Crumby was not surprised when a big bluebottle (Calliphora sp.) took up residence in the Parlor of the Goddess. Yet Crumby was surprised this morning as Crumby was fixing to deploy his Neilmed sinus rinse bottle, nasal wise. Yes. Crumby had just poured the microwaved H20 into his Neilmed bottle when he noticed that the bluebottle was also in the squeeze bottle. Good thing Crumby noticed. That size fly could easily, jet propelled by the squeeze bottle, get lodged in a nasal passage or sinus. Then, it would be back to the nasal surgeon. Mercy!

Mr. Ovate it appears from the x-rays you have a large bluebottle lodged in your occipital sinus. That fly must come out.

Boo-hoo-hoo. An caint afford it. Maybe he’ll come out of his own accord? Let’s give him some time.

Anyway. Stupidly, Crumby didn’t get a documentation photo of the bluetail fly before it went in the Neilmed bottle. How dumb is that? Course all Crumby did to that fly was pour it down the drain, thus wasting an entire cup of warm Neilmed water. So perhaps the fly shall reappear out the sink drain anon. Then maybe it can have its picture took after all. Who knows?

Dark Eyed Juncos

The documentation effort continues. Surprisingly, this is the first time juncos have been documented at the CB. It's the feeders, most likely, that bring in the juncos and white crowned sparrows, cadging scraps the other birds have dropped at the feeders. What a life, is a bird's life?

Of course, Crumby, a decades long espier of Class Aves, has been aware of the northern juncos even before they were all, thankfully, lumped. Yes. Once upon a time the various little junco varmints had specific epithets. Yet no honest person could tell them apart. So eventually, they all got lumped. Lumped before science became the province of Republican Christer/Mammonites. Parise the WG!

Makes you wonder though. If there was a bunch of money to be made from mutliple junco species, these days, seems like they would get split again. Yes. Now we enjoy four species of juncos here at this choice spot. It's a quite exclusive here, thanks to all the various juncos, and deserves the highest conceivable wildlife tax exemption.

My Goddess! Crumby despises phony environmentalists.

Whatever! Of the twain juncos inhabiting North America, the fierce eyed juncos may be the more interesting. They are primarily Mexicans. But do they really mostly run, as opposed to hopping along to get along? If so, the twain species of juncos definitely need to get split into two genera, at least. Merciful Goddess!

Bicycle News, No More Excessive or Unusual Noise

That’s right. Crumby arose early. No. That’s not true. Crumby stayed up late, fixing to fix the bicycle. Then Crumby arose the next morning fairly late, for an early riser, still fixing to fix the bicycle.

Turns out, the chain was put on wrong. And the noise was the chain rubbing on the top shiv housing. Now. Problem solved.

But the other fix required was a new front shifter cable. Yet the deal is, Crumby’s bike came with SRAM 3.0 comp shifters. WWW research and a close look-see at the relevant parts left Crumby wondering whether he would like to attempt to run a new cable through that particular shifter.

Ultimately, Crumby decided he would rather be tied down on a fire ant bed than fix to run a cable through that particular dang shifter. So Crumby opted to purchase a shifter kit with the shifter wires pre-installed. The kit includes the shifters and wires, but not any other hardware like ferrules, housing or crimps, for about $21. (The EBAY vendor for this product is Bicycle Supply. Highly recommended). Eventually, something will go wrong with the rear shifter too, so Crumby is ready, thanks be to the kit. Plus, Crumby’s bike is totally yet temporarily fixed, and roaring along quietly at supersonic speed..

But the seeming near impossibility of a mere home bike mechanic possibly replacing the cable got Crumby wondering. How does SRAM install cables in their own shifters? Huh?

Turns out, many years ago, an oppressed Germanic minority, dwelling in the vicinity of the Swiss border, accidentally domesticated a type of beetle known to the vulgar as wire worms. The larvae of this particular beetle species are tiny, long and cylindrical, but with hooked jaws and featuring incredible strength relative to the overall size of the total organism.

So here’s what these amazing yet enslaved vermin do for their cruel task masters. Day in and day out, 24/7, they pull cable through SRAM shifters. What they do is sit inside the little hole in the shifter housing until a humanoid suddenly shoves a wire in the hole. Then they grasp that wire in their little but terribly strong jaws. Once they get a good hold, they drag or haul that relatively enormous cable around the various right angle bends until both the larvae and the wire eventually emerge at the opposite end. It’s like a miracle!

And what wages do the wire worms get for enriching their masters? They get beetle chow plus a little stale beer. Then once in a great while, they get a potato pancake. Mmm!

Which brings to mind, what grub did the Druids enjoy on Thanksgiving.? Easy that. We feasted on Pederson’s spiral ham, sweet potatoes with pecans and fresh cranberries, collard greens with onion, buttermilk biscuits and fruit salad. It was delicious.

Bicycle Noise Pollution Eliminated, NOT

Few can be interested in Crumby's trials and tribulations in the guise of, Home Bicyle Mechanic. Dun-duh-dun. Duddle-duddle-dun-dun.

Yet Crumby, plus his bosom companion, Ray, are, for the time being, the responsible parties for this particular venue. So what we do, is what's hugely important to us. And at this nonce, keeping the bikes rideable is super important.

That said. Spreading a pack of lies around the globe reflects poorly on the Druid religion. Turns out, Crumby did not fix the bike noise by oiling the rear derailleur shivs. He thought he did. But he did not. No. No. A thousand times no.
No. That low rattle could still be heard reflected off objects Crumby passed while pedaling.

However, yesterday Crumby was explaining to Rayetta how quiet her bike was compared to his. Then, of a nonce, an actual thought pinged around in Crumby's noggin. Hey! Maybe there is something visually different between those twain bikes that will explain why my bike is a noise polluter.

Sure enough. Crumby took the chain off a time or two or three. And the last time, when he routed it back through the rear derailleur, he put it on the wrong side of the cage adjacent to the top shiv. That was the difference between Rayetta's quiet bike versus Crumby's incredibly noisy bike.

But Crumby needs to wait to make sure the above was the actual or authentic issue. That's because the bike is up in the repair stand getting its front shifter cable changed out. Mercy! The old cable got all frayed. Possibly because Crumby may have not known about the little pinch mechanism groove the cable is supposed to reside in. Well. Now he does.

Sadly, the WG is fixing to punish Crumby for lying in the first place. Even though, Crumby has now atoned for his lying or sinful ways. Just another way the Druid religion handicaps its practitioners compared to "practitioners" of some other well-known religions some might name.

Oh My Goodness Gracious!

Thanksgiving is nigh. Which generally means that a hard freeze or a frosty condition is also nigh. Actually though, the CB has already had twain frosts. Yet they were not hard frosts. Just barely frosts.

Anyway, the CB has also enjoyed a bit of rain, this particular part and parcel of the passing Julian. As a result, the warm season perennials are flowering and the winter weeds have also gone crazy. Crazy I tell you. Yet there are few insects about. So few pollinators. Dang!

Course, going crazy right before first hard frost is a bad strategy for an annual weed, pollinators about are no. Like here we see bluebonnets, vicias, etc, mostly annual winter weeds, so thick that the bare ground is scarcely visible. Yet all these weeds may be entirely doomed. Yes. They have sprouted at the wrong time of the year and now they could perish forever, any minute.

Mercy! Untimely death. Mercy!

Note to average amateur nature photographers. The finest attribute of a wide angle lens is that you can always include your feet for scale.

Bicycle Noise Pollution Eliminated

Turns out. All the bike required to stop the incessant clicking was a good oiling of its rear derailleur wheels. Apparently, oiling the chain was not sufficient. So Crumby needed to apply oil directly to the derailleur wheels. Once that happened. The clicking stopped. Something to remember.

Bicycle Noises

Like generally speaking, bicycles are not a major source of noise pollution. Certainly not comparable to marching bands. Yet they can be plenty annoying. For example, Crumby recently fixed an intermittent clunking noise by tightening the bottom bracket retainers to approximately identical torques. That stopped that. But now, the dern thing is chattering consistently and constantly when Crumby pedals.

Like remember when you thought maybe a bearing was going out in the Mercury Comet. But you were relieved finally to discover a rock caught in the tread. But it took forever to find the rock in the tread and associate that with the noise. Then after that you always figured any noise was just rocks in the tread. But then a bearing really did go out. Mercy!

So. It's back to the repair stand. This particular dang clicking started when Crumby had to take the chain off, then put it back on with one of those new fangled chain links. Ever since then, the chain has constantly clicked. Most noticably when Crumby is alongside a building or some other vertical type object that is apt to reflect noise back to the aural sensory apparati. Jeez Louise! Back to the repair stand.

Crumby wonders how many among the fearless bike commuters employ at least twain bikes out of necessity. Since one bike is sure to be on the repair stand maybe.

Hoof Rats Devour Yellow Watermelon

Karl the Tracker Druid had a client that was plagued by hoofrats (Odocoileus virginiana). Those particualr hoofrats were voracious. They had goat like appetites, but were, of course, enormous in size when compared to mere goats.

Well. The hoofrats were eating Karl's anonymous client out of house and home. Something had to be done. But urban hoofrats are protected by law from harm. They can't be shot with bullet nor arrow, netted, speared, trapped, snared, lured into pits, run off cliffs, dogged, badgered, chivvied, subjected to pratfalls or any of the other usual activities humans ordinarily practice on hoofrats.

However, consider Roman candles. Karl's anonymous client decided to scare the hoofrats off with Roman candles. Trouble was, he, the anonymous client, didn't take the low humidity into account. Yes. The humidy on that dreadful night was low. So low that spit would never touch the ground, but instead, evaporated in mid-air. Yes. Far lower than your normal or average humidity for these parts. So when the very first or initial Roman candle got shot off at the very first hoofat, that gorgeous ball of pink fire caught the luckless hoofrat midship. Whoa! The hoofrat burst into flame, then tore off, blazing along, careening madly down the streets of Bee Caves, a shithole of the universe.

Alas. Turns out that shooting hoofrats with Roman candles may be illegal in Bee Caves. But Karl's anonymous client didn't wait to find out. He hooked it mighty quick. Which is how he became Karl the Tracker Druid's client in the first place.

After the Powwows Over

Yes. Dogs can smell powwow from miles away. Um! I, Sparky, am fixing to go eat all the fry bread.

Yet sadly, the dogs don't get to eat all the fry bread. However, a lucky dog may get to nose out scraps of fry bread after the powwows over. Harruuuuuh!

Here's how that might work. The dog gets to do a walky at the powwow location before the various hands clean up or police the powwow site. That lucky dog is sure to be fixing to have some fry bread.

But what if civilization faultered just a tad. If that happened, and it is fixing to happen, maybe dogs would just start following the powwows, living off fry bread scraps or licking the pavement clean of frybread grease. Mercy!

Packs of wild or natural dogs following the powwows from city to city would be something else. Crumby would give a hunerd dollars to espy that.

A Striped Cucumber Beetle

Many may wonder at the recent paucity of insect electropics at the CB. Well. The insects are generally absent from these parts. No rain. Plants don't grow. No plants. Insects don't show.

Yes. This particular year of the Julian imperial calendar has been toast for bugs. Yet scrounging around, Crumby managed to get a picture of this bug that came in on some produce, possibly lettuce. It was on the lettuce when Crumby found it, but may have been on the cucumbers and simply wandered over to the lettuce, accidentally spreading confusion and consternation as it marauded along through the cold box. Who knows?

The Ant Baffle - A Multitask Device

Many may recall how Crumby designed an ant baffle to keep the acrobat ants out of the hummingbird feeders. Well, the hummingbirds are long gone (first week of October) and so are the feeders. But the silly little goldfinches preferentially drink out of the ant baffles. So, because the antics of these particular goldfinches are fairly comical, Crumby left out the ant baffles for the goldfinches. The fact is, Crumby may be fixing to make some more, larger ant baffles out of Foster's cans, just for the goldfinches.

Multitasking is way better for recycled beer cans than humanoids.

Suet Feeder

Many may recall the Hot Pepper Suet Dough Delight featured in an earlier post back on September 19 of the imperial Julian calendar. Yes. That product, a block of pink dyed fat, has finally, after many moons, attracted a downy woodpecker. Honest to Goddess! A downy woodpecker actually ate some of that nasty concoction. Crumby was amazed and shocked, but not electrified.

The proof is, not only did Crumby espy the woodpecker on the suet feeder, subsequent investigation revealed a woodpecker excavation in the suet block. Merciful heavens!

So if you want a woodpecker to eat your suet, and you don't mind waiting a couple of months for the woodpecker to show up, Hot Pepper Suet Dough Delight is your ticket to a better, more environmentally friendly, life.

Crumby, as he first espied the Hot Pepper Suet Dough product, assumed that the chili pequin, or bird pepper, was somehow involved in the preparation scenario. That's probably just power of suggestion following from the fact that when you mix a red (pepper) with white (fat) you get pink. Whoa! Nevertheless, praise the WG, you eventually may get a pecker head in your yard.

Does the Americano Homeland Deserve Big Rick?

The Druids believe so. After all, a people that embrace monopoly capitalism and imperialism have pretty much given up on self esteem or personal honor. Plus there's the "small government" Department of Homeland Security to consider. Maybe that's the third department Big Rick was fixing to remember to ax. Huh-huh. Pitiful.

Anyway, the Druids were surprised that Rick could actually remember the names of two federal departments. Two is a lot. Especially considering that in the Republico Booblico, where Ricka esta numera una, federal departments are irrelevant. Hector protector! Tejas features state agencies like the TCEQ that were set up for the sole purpose of evading or eviscerating federal law. Oh my gosh!

So chitlins of the Homeland, slack off on big Rick. You won't be sorry. Like it's time that barbarism got a leg up. And then, once the barbarism leg is up, the Homeland excretory organ or Department can go ahead and piss on the socialism leg. Like it's socialism or barbarism, dudes or dudettes.

Another Druid Dichotomy brought to everyone courtesy of RGVECB.

One Bicycle Booby Trap After Another

First the left crank arm went south. It somehow got cross threaded and goofed itself up. Crumby, lacking a fully functional crank, had to take it to a local bike shop (lbs). Not surprising, the experience was not entirely satisfactory or up to Crumby’s standards. Then, once Crumby got home with his non-matching crank arms, more evil happened. Yes. A spoke turned up mysteriously sheered off and two more were incredibly loose. Back tire of course. So Crumby was forced to purchase his first bike specific tool, a free hub socket that allowed Crumby to remove the free hub so he could then thread in the new spoke.

OK. Crumby, based on his mediocre experience with the lbs decided to do all his own bike maintenance and repair from now on. Turns out, thanks to the www, a frugal plus alert individual can acquire the few tools for all that after considerable research. Like Crumby was able to figure out that the first tool required is a repair stand. Yes. Crumby needed to get that first, and immediately found one, a Park 9, on Craigslist for $75. Indispensable!

After that, Crumby only needed a very few specific tools for his and Rayetta’s Trek bikes. Figuring out which tools for your actual bicycle is not easy on the www, but it can be done. Like after awhile and much noggin sweat, Crumby was able to figure out that the bikes Crumby is the responsible party for, needed these bike specific Park tools: CWP-7 universal crank puller, the BBT-22 bottom bracket retainer ring socket, and the CT-3 chain tool.

Crumby purchased all these tools, plus a not exactly necessary luxury tool, the CCW-5 crank wrench from Buildyourbike, an ebay vendor, for $63, a super good deal. Goodness! Many bike tools, like the CCW-5, duplicate the function of tools you may already possess or cuddle. But the bicycle specific tools may work better than a tool designed for VW Beetles. Like the CCW-5 works better than Crumby’s old hex wrench. Way better.

Oh! Crumby is also considering a dedicated bicycle pedal wrench versus a 15mm box end and breaker bar. Mercy! But mostly, if you have general type tools, they are good enough for your bike. Like hex wrenches, screwdrivers, sockets, analgesics are all good to go. They also may be good for your watch. Not the analgesics probably.

So anyway, once Crumby got the spoke fixed, the rear wheel back on, and the wheel trued between the brake pads, Crumby noticed while riding along later on, that the dang bike was making a funny noise. Dang it! This particular bicycle is making a noise when I attempt to pedal hard on a slightly inclined grade.

All righty then. There is this dead or deceased bicycle expert who was named or called Sheldon Brown. On his posthumous web site, you may encounter a bicycle noise program or key. It works similarly to a dichotomous key. Employing Sheldon’s program, Crumby easily determined that the bottom bracket retainer rings on his bike were most likely out of whack. Sure enough, Sheldon’s simple-minded test indicated play in the crank. Further effort by Crumby showed that the left side retainer ring had to be breaker barred, while the right drive side was handy. Mercy! I bet these need to be about the same tightnees. Jeez Louise! Crumby surmised.

Happily, once Crumby greased and tightened all the various parts, the noise disappeared (actually determined a while later). Praise the Goddess! Yes. That particular annoying noise or pollution is gone from the human environment.

But then there was the problem with the chain. Crumby forgot to put the chain back on properly before he put the crank back on. So Crumby decided, Hey, I have a chain cutter. I’ll just cut the chain then thread it through. Ooops! But that’s another story.

64 year old rides bicycle 64 miles

Yep. It's like a tradition. Every year older I get, I am fixing to do something that is like the same number. Like it could be something destructive. I could eat 64 shrimp or 64 pork chops or 64 weenies. But instead, I do an activity. Like it could be push ups. I could do 64 push ups.

All this explains why I have lived nearly long enough to collect Social Security. Now, my main goal in life is to live long enough, to age 66, so I can get at least one check. Actually though, one check, not two or three, is my only goal. This after working hard in the Homeland since I was 15. My goal in life is one Social Security check. Mercy! You have plenty to look forward to, chitlins. You should have opted for social democracy. Had plenty chances. Ugh!