Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) nutans

Ye know Ray. If ye know a spurge, this is likely to be the one ye know.

Yepper Crumby. This is a common one all righty, in these parts. It's from Travis County, 1995, at yer old haunt, Walnut Creek Park. Is it propitiously fertile?

Noper, but with some effort I rounded up two seeds. With any luck, they are not atypical and they do seem to fit the bill as described in C&J, Praise the Goddess. Also we have a cluster of flowers illustrating the monoecious sex habits of the spurges, which many, by referral to the labeled parts of the previous spurge, E. maculata, may now discern by themselves, maybe.

Er, Crumby, the previous un is E. missurica, not E. maculata.

Hmmm. Chances are yer right Ray. Thanks fer bringin that sin to my attention. So to reiterate, Many by referral to the labeled parts of the previous spurge, E. missurica, may now discern for themselves, maybe.

Let us, by all means then, load em up.


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And a note, astronomical, to close out this long day of onerous tasks.

Uranus is barely visible to the unaided eyes of the young and frisky, maybe, but can be espied in a small telescope even by the old and feeble, maybe. Right now, Uranus is tracking along the ecliptic just west of the moon, so we may be on the lookout for Uranus, anon.

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Tacklin' the Onerous

This mornin' I, Ray arose troubled. For that onerous task Crumby drug me in on commenced at last yesterday and we labored much on it (the onerous task), relatively speakin'. So even asleep, I was troubled (for that onerous task intruded also upon my quality time reclinin' on the Bosom of the Goddess). So at the nonce of awakenin', and after completin' an ablution er two, I went straight off fer a visit with my very nice lady friend, Ms. Merriam Webster, who happens to know a great deal about spells.

And I says to Merriam, for we are on familiar terms, "Merriam, I am much troubled on the spellin' of the spell, own-a-russ." And Merriam, who is used to me on account of us bein' familiar, says "Well Ray, easy that, let's go look own-a-russ up."

So that's what we did no, and there was own-a-russ where I had not necessarily predicted it would be, phonetically. With the correct spell impressed then upon me, I began to peruse the attendant spells and my gaze was attracted to a picture, what some spell a thumbnail picture on account of the small size of the picture, of a onager. The spell attendant upon the picture is "a small pale colored kiang with a broad dorsal stripe".

Whoa! kiang? So after I surreptitiously checked out the nearby spell "onanism" I says to Merriam, "Merriam, whut the heck is a kiang?" And Merriam says, "Easy that Ray" and directs my attention to that particular spell, kiang, "an Asian wild ass (Equus hemionus)usually with reddish back and sides and white underparts, muzzle and legs". "Hmmmm", I thought, "that is a donkey of fair vestiture", and I determined that scant time would pass before I Ray sought out an image of a kiang, fer no thumbnail of a kiang was apparent, nearby.

The visit with Merriam concluded we bade our adieus, and I Ray commenced once more to ruminate on the onerous task and how, throughout the long ages, it has been the task of Druids to advise the rich and powerful and just how onerous that task has become.
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Ray! Get in here Ray! I require some hep!
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Alas, my bosom companion requires, some hep.

Bedtime

And so March ap Meirchion, ol' long ears, at the last, lost the beautiful Esyllt, fer good.

Tell us another un Aint Hope. I aint sleepy yet. And Sweetiepie here is likewise, wide awake. Aint ye Sweetiepie?

Snore....................Snore.

Well, I Sugarplum be wide awake nevertheless.

Sugarplum, its too late fer another story. So what we are gonna do is try and here the little baby plants clappin' their hands fer joy at the recent precipitation. But to hear 'em, the both of us have to be real quiet.

Aint Hope, are these the same little ones ye showed me today?

Yepper, the very same ones.

All righty then..............Snore.

Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) missurica

Why don't ye twain go somewheres else, so Crumby and me can get some work done?

Cause Aint Rayetta sent us in here and told us to stay put and that you was sposed to watch us Ray. She said we might larn somethin' useful.

All righty, dern it. Just sit there fer a tiny spell, fer Crumby's comin back anon with another spurge. Ye can larn the spurge.

Don't yall do none of the little wonders, but spurges Ray?

Yep Sweetiepie. We do other little wonders, but fer the nonce we're doin' spurges. Dang it, where'd ye get them names, Sweetiepie and Sugarplum? Them aint proper names fer young ladies.

They aint our proper names atall Ray. Sugarplum and Sweetiepie is our nicknames. Aint that right Sweetiepie. Yeppers, them's the nicknames Nancy give us. Yeppers, Nancy says she give us them nicknames fer I-Ronnies sake. That's right. So Sweetiepie says, Nancy, who be this I-Ronnie, but Nancy says we was too young to know about I-Ronnie, so I says to Nancy, was I-Ronnie a liar er some kind of sinner that had to be sent over to Badgemagus place fer a good whuppin', but Nancy said that warnt it atall. Aint that right Sugarplum. Yeppers. And then I says to Nancy, well if I-Ronnie warnt bad, then whut happened to em, and Nancy says that I-Ronnie asked too many dang questions and that if I, Sweetiepie kept it up likewise, askin' too many questions she'd turn me into a bosom asp, but I don't reckon she would do that, maybe. Do ye reckon she would Sugarplum? I reckon she wouldn't on account of she told me the same thing, but here I be normal as ever, and I too have asked Nancy a good many questions about this er that like that time I says to Nancy, Nancy ere ye sweet on Badgemagus, and Nancy said that warnt none of me beeswax, so I says to Nancy, Nancy, I aint got no bees and consequently no wax, but if ye could see fit to get me some bees I surenuff would like to have some fer pets, then we could all share out the wax and honey and whatnot and.....

Jeez Louise young ladies. Look who has arrived. It's Crumby, Praise the Goddess, with the sprurge.

Hi there Crumby. We been tellin' Ray all about how we got our nicknames. As ye know I am called Sugarplum and this here is Sweetiepie and Aint Rayetta sent us over here so Ray could watch us and make sure we didn't get up to no mischief or pester anyone that had somethin' important to do. Yeppers, that's right, Sugarplum. And then I, Sweetie Pie says to Aint Rayetta, well aint Ray got nothin important to do? So Aint Rayetta just laughs and laughs and then Aint Rayetta says to Sugarplum and me that the twain of us should go find Ray, so here we be fer the nonce. That's right, Sweetiepie, and then we had a perilous hard time findin Ray on account of ...

Er, would you young ladies like some cookies er somethin'? Why don't ye go see if Red'll give ye some ginger snaps, maybe. There be a fresh batch off in the kitchen, maybe.

Can we bring'em back here and eat em here Crumby? We are very much enjoyin' this visit with ye and Ray. Aint that right Sugarplum. Yeppers, we enjoy a nice visit all righty then, but I am a might hungry now and sure wouldn't mind me a ginger snap er two. Them gingersnaps be in the kitchen ye say? Come on Sweetiepie, let's go get us some of them gingersnaps. All righty then, we shall return to these parts anon. Bye.
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Ray, are yer ears ringin'? I have a ringin' in my ears. Ray! Ray! Come to Ray! Yer conked out.
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A while later.
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Whut happened? Where am I?

Ye been conked out Ray. And ye remain here in the laboratory where the conkin' out transpired.

Conked out! Whut conked me out, reckon?

Well Ray, I'm speculatin' that ye conked out from sensory overload, maybe. Them two Tabby Labbers overwhelmed yer auditory capacities. They be natural born spellers, them two, and don't have no notion of when to let up. They would a got me too, but I spelled em off on Red, fer I knew he was bakin' ginger snaps. That's how I saved myself, but I was too late to save ye Ray. So ye conked out.

Well I swan. No wonder them two's visitin'. That dern Nancy off loaded them two on us fer a space of peace and tranquility fer herself, maybe.

Listen up Ray. I don't think them two are headed back here like they were spellin' to do. Hope, I hope corraled 'em and got em off to bed. So if yer up to it, we need to finish up on this particular spurge. Ere ye up to it?

I reckon so Crumby. Lemme do a ablution er two first, then we can get to work.

All righty then.
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A while later.
_____

All righty then. There's nothin like a good ablution to keep me, Ray regular. Whar's the spurge?

There's two pictures of the spurge, E. missurica, right here.

Yep. I espy em.

Yepper Ray. But troubles arise. We have hit another dry hole, seed wise. So I decided that since this one aint hairy, and ye can easily espy the different parts due to the general glabrousness, that this one would be a good 'un to label.

All righty. Let's get to labelin' then.

La-nee, la-nee, laneeeeeeeee.

There now. Let's load 'em up.

_____

Thus, the bosom companions, Ray and Crumby, weary from scanty rest, forge ahead on, much like us all, for planet earth, upon which we reside, traverses an ellipse of the sun, believe it or not.

The Arkdruid

Sugarplum and Sweetiepie are Trainin'

This aint fair Sweetiepie. We're spose to be on holiday.

Yer right there Sugarplum. It aint. That dang Rayetta got no business given us a signment.

Well I aint studyin', no more.

Me neither. This don't make no sense anyway. Whut's it spell here, The dern "Modern Religions of the Middle East". Bunch a heathens. Who cares?

Yepper. Let's go visit the pigs.
_____

Where are you two Tabby Labbers headed?

We're off to visit them pigs, Aint Hope.

Did you finish those lessons Rayetta gave you?

Yepper. They be all done.

Well, what did you learn?

We learned that all them religions are the same difference.

All righty then. Run along and visit the pigs. I'll inform Rayetta that you have finished your lesson, satisfactorily.

No Rest

Ye would think that livin' in a sin free blissful state, as I am now enjoyin', would be altogether, conflict free. But this mornin', as the wee hours drifted by towards the stouter hours a little song wriggled its way into my sleepy noggin that went somethin' like,

it's four in the mornin', my lala is warnin', the station is beckonin' me, so I rise to seek comfort, and hasten along to, the comfort facility

There was more to that song, but I caint recollect the rest, of it.

So it's all quiet and private at the newly reopened boys comfort station and I am enjoyin' myself and reflectin' on the comparitve aggravation of havin' to go outside and purty soon I'm all finished and I have to put ever'thing back inside the vent and then I head back towards my own little bed.

But I am verily stopped in my tracks, for a clarion call rings out in the night, "Flush the toilet".

Today's Lesson is "Who is the Greatest Dang Terrorist?"

Who is the Greatest Dang Terrorist?

or

Some Especially Hard Core Boring Political Commentary

In the good old days when literacy was more widespread, terror was narrowly defined by Ms. Merriam Webster, 4th entry, 9th ed. as violence (as bomb throwing) committed by groups in order to intimidate a population or government into granting their demands. Terrorism, on the other hand, was defined as the systematic use of terror as a means of coercion. Ms. Webster does not define terrorist, but we may assume that if she had, defined terrorist, the definition would have run something like a person who practices the systematic use of terror as a means of coercion.

Interestingly, the terror and terrorism and terrorist definitions make no specific mention of the possiblity that terror may be practiced by those holding state power. Yet, those holding state power have terrorized segments of their own populations and the populations of other countries, also. For example, Comrade Lenin, aggravated by attacks against the fledgling presumptive Bolshevik government remarked something like, The solution to the White Terror is the Red Terror, and Lenin was one of those kindly fatherly figures that meant just what he said, so a great many of the White Terrorists perished at his hands, the Red Terror. This included taking hostage (oh my goodness) the families of suspected terrorists. Saddam Hussein is another practitioner of state terror, although technically, that remains to be proven.

Which brings us to Harry Belafonte and the spells he has pronounced recently. The spell Harry Belafonte used that especially caught the attention of all the TV liars and gluttons was "Bush is the greatest terrorist in the world". We, the Cow Barn Druidry, surmise that Bush is a terrorist, maybe* (his prosecution of the war in Iraq, remember Shock and Awe, and subsequent developments, seem close enough to the defintions of terror and terrorist to convince us that Bush is the same difference as a terrorist), but we are perplexed by Mr. Belafonte's use of the qualifier "greatest". So far as we are aware, Bush's terror campaign has been limited to Iraq, with maybe just a few teeny-weeny and secretive excursions outside Iraq so we are not sure he is the greatest terrorist. Also, we are not sure what Mr. Belafonte means by greatest. But then we are no longer sure what anyone means by greatest. Greatest is a very confusing adjective/spell. On the other hand, we are also, generally speaking, not black, so Mr. Belafonte, who is black, may know something we don't. After all terror was? employed against blacks for a very long spell in these parts.

What if we were to spell, Osama bin Laden is the world's tallest terrorist? That might not raise many eyebrows, for Osama is known to be taller than average. But would the spell reflect reality or merely be an attempt, by us, to influence perceptions of reality? Or, we might spell, Kim Il Jong is the shortest practitioner of state sponsored terror. Now, and this is important, please note that in these two examples, the qualifiers, tallest and shortest, are measurable, or would be if we could round up all the data elements and subject them to a proper range wanding.

Druids, shielded by the Goddess and our trainin', don't take much stock in terror. Meaning we are not scared of some character stealin' one of our own airplanes, ag'in and runnin' it into the CB. Moreover, we are not foretellin' any other likely possibilities of that general category. On the other hand, we are foretellin', that if ye give too much power to a crazy person that has liars and gluttons as his most intimate associates, misfortunes will certainly result.
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*Terror promulgated by state action, either directly or through surrogates, has long been routine probably, but shrouded in secrecy, maybe. And now perhaps, with avowed terrorists getting themselves elected to governments, perhaps the veil of secrecy will be lifted.

The Arkdruid

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Hold it Arkdruid. We fergot some stuff.

Many are those who might presume to have a prideful opinion like, "Yes, Bush is the greatest terrorist, and he's our terrorist." Purty funny when ye think about it.

Or, it's OK to terrorize terrorists, and anyone else who may be in the same country as the terrorists, although we are sorry about the latter if they were truly innocents which they probably weren't, innocents. Actually though, we really don't care.

It's also OK to wage terror campaigns against other countries because you don't like the way they look and you want to change the appearance of their leaders. This usually occurs when they have something you want.

But seriously, there are also many who believe a president of these Yorenited States could never, no matter how remotely, be spelled, terrorist, because such a spell is a contradiction in terms. And any activities resembling terror, and that have the same results as terror, must be spelled something other than terror, like the precious "Shock and Awe" campaign.

Beans and peas are the same difference.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Does the Goddess Intentionally Deceive Us?

Easy that, noper.

Trickery, among the immortals and theoretical immortals is the province of the assorted sungods.

Remember that stellate hair on the spurge specimink, E. lata, that wrought such furor in these parts of late? What if a sungod, placed that stellate hair on that spurge specimink to deceive the Druidry in these parts into thinking it (the stellate hair) was part and parcel of that particular specimink?

Yikes! If we suffered suchlike trickery, Arkless we would be, but sailing merrily along, a ship of fools.

Does the Goddess Intentionally Deceive Us?

I know Sugarplum. Let's sneak in and see whut ol' Crumby has been lookin' at in that microscope.

Oh Sweetiepie, goodness gracious. Do you think we should? Crumby or Ray might get mad at us. And what if Rayetta caught us nosing in there? Yikes!

Oh come on. They be all out back, fussin' with Rayetta's cows. I seen 'em. Don't transmigrate into a chicken on me.

Well, all righty then, but ye look while I keep watch fer Rayetta.
______

These two young Tabby Labbers, Sugarplum and Sweetiepie, are visitin' from the Joke Factory where they have received scanty formal instruction in the botanical arts. Consequently, these particular young Tabby Labbers, especially Sweetiepie, are fixin' to get a bad scare, from lookin' in that microscope.



Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Yikes!

Run Sugarplum! There's monsters in the microscope!
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A while later.

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My goodness gracious sakes, Sugarplum, Sweetiepie, what in the Name of the Goddess are you doing way up in that Fraxinus pensylvanica?

All righty then you two. I see right through those coon skins and you better spell what you are doing up in that tree if you know what's good, fer ye.

If you don't squeak up purty quick I, Hope am going to call upon Rayetta.

Yikers Hope. They be monsters all over the Cow Barn. Sweetiepie seen 'em.

Nonsense. No monsters inhabit the Cow Barn. Where did you espy these alledged monsters Sweetiepie.

I aint tellin'.

Now Sweetiepie. You won't get in any trouble. Tell Hope where the monsters are.

Noper. I aint tellin'.

Sweetiepie, please tell Hope where ye saw the monsters, I aint so comfortable up in this here tree.

We aint gonna get in trouble, Hope?

No Sweetiepie. Now climb down here and tell Aint Hope where the monsters are.

All righty then.
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Hope feels out Ray.
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Ray. How do you and Crumby feel about Tabby Labbers foolin' around in the laboratory, theoretically?

Huh? Oh we don't care, natural selection and all, ye know. Why?

Sugarplum and Sweetiepie in particular sneaked in here and looked in the microscope and now they say there are monsters in the microscope.

Well there could be. Let's have a looksee. Hmmmm. Naw, that's just Euphorbia lata and a stray stellate hair from some other little wonder stuck to it. Boy howdy, if Dr. Swineherd knew Crumby was puttin' multiple specimens in the same collectin' bags and thus contaminatin' the vestitures, ol' Badgemagus and Crumby would go round and round with a wet plant press strap mediatin' their relationship.

So the Tabby Labbers aint in any trouble?

Naw. But Crumby may be if a little birdie was to sing in Badgemagus' good ear about this specimen contamination that is apparently runnin' amok at the CB.

Mercy Ray! You wouldn't do such a dastardly deed, would you?

Naw. But Crumby don't know I wouldn't.
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Ray and Crumby resume their ASS work.
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Say Crumby take a look at this specimen.

Yikes! That stellate hair aint supposed to be on that particular specimen. I must have collected this one very early on in my trainin'. Let's see here, June 13, 1996, Taylor County. Good Goddess, that was the day all my freezer bags were carried off in a wind of relentless velocity and never heard from agin. I must have been forced, of dire necessity, to cram all my specimens in a pitiful few freezer bags, indeed.

Yepper. That sounds about right. But ye know what Dr. Swineherd might have to spell on that line of reasonin', don't ye Crumby?

Er, what ere ye gettin' at Ray?

Oh nothin', just ferget about it. I'm sure he'd understand about them freezer bags blowin' off.

Ray, I'm gonna let this pass, for I am temporarily free of sin and wish to maintain this current blissful state fer the nonce, but if ye sing to Badgemagus about me bein' a grabbagger, ye will live to regret it.
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The Spurge du Jour
_____

And never is heard a di-spurge-ing word and the sap is all milky all day.

General applause interspersed with animal noises follow the conclusion of a vocal duet featuring both Sugarplum and Sweetiepie on the vocals.

That was mighty fine young ladies. How'd ye young Tabby Labbers learn such an interestin' tune?

Aint Hope taught us Red, right before this here spruge-o-rama.

Well if that don't beat all. All righty then. How bout a spurge now Crumby?

All righty then. And them Tabby Labbers were truly amazing. Jeez Louise. Where are them spurge pictures? Ray! Where's the spurge pictures?

Comin' right up Crumby.

All righty then. Here off to the east we have a shot of this one's leaves and flowers. See how hairy it gets around the flowers! The second one is, er, er, er, Ray, what the heck is that?

That's a seed Crumby.

It is?

Yepper, it's a young seed.

Ye couldn't find any maturer ones?

Noper.

We aint got any more specimens of this one?

Noper.

Dern.

White- Wing

This particular dove, and many of its birds of a feather, flock together, in the pecan orchard at the CB. Many moons ago these hyer doves were rare in these parts, but now they are right common. They are, matter of fact, apart from them nasty grackles, our most common feathered friend.

Spell how delicious they are Red.

Ray! Dern it Ray. Ye know dern well these aint et hyer no more. There's no tellin' where this un's been, er whut nastiness it's been up to. This hyers a city bird, these days, and they are liable to be, nasty.

Crumby, er ye happy now with yer gizmos.

Yepper. Purty happy Red. Course ye know yerself how ephemeral happy is fer Homos and some near Homos. But fer the nonce, I yam what I yam, happy.
_____

Consider the humble lichen, for stealth.

The Arkdruid

Ray's Thought for the Day

I, Ray am sooooooooo happy! First, Crumby and me have united in the face of onerous tasks and we shall face them together, if we ever get around to them. One of the reasons we are bosom companions is cause we tackle onerous tasks together, eventually, maybe. Then too, as part of our negotiations on distribution of labor regarding the onerous tasks, I, Ray will be going along to the Farmer's Market to acquire my cinnamon bun, anon. It is part of my usual practice to acquire one of those delicious cinnamon buns at weekly intervals, the specified interval falling hard upon the nonce. And to top all this off, it's rainin'. Three coyote big yips fer the rain.

This is how come, I, Ray am soooooooooo happy!

_____

Later, anon for Ray, comes to fruition.

_____

Smack!..............Smack!.............Mmmm boy! That was delicious!

Did you bring me a cinnamon bun, Ray?

I'm sorry Hope. I was fixin' to get you one, but just before they sacked mine up, a lady sneezed right on the rest of the ones the vendor had on display. So I figured ye wouldn't want one of those cinnamon buns. But if ye go over there now, I bet those cinnamon buns that got sneezed on have done been vended, and they have some new ones out, maybe.

Hmmm. I might just do that, now that Ogma has asserted himself.

Yep. He has indeed asserted himself marginally. But when I went over there to get my cinnamon bun it was rainin' cats and dogs. If it had not been fer my Druid trainin', both here at Red's and at Dr. Swineherd's, my heart would have sank. For I noted that due to the rain a poundin' down, a great many of the flat chested among the vendors had not shown up and I would have been, in the absence of any Druid trainin', heartsick that the cinnamon bun vendor was among the flat chested, maybe.

That does sound very scary Ray. What did you do?

Well, I ignored ever' thing except where, from previous experience, I recollected to be the general vicinity of the cinnamon bun vendor and I high-tailed it straight in that direction.

Oh my goodness Ray. That was awfully smart. And you got there, expeditiously, to find your bun.

Yepper. But then events took a turn fer the worse, fer I could espy but two cinnamon buns on display, and I, Ray was cued* up behind two gluttons.

Yikes! That's horrible Ray. Were you beside yourself with anxiety?

Very nearly I was, but my Druid trainin' kept me under control even when those twain gluttons purchased both those twain displayed cinnamon buns.

They did! Gracious Sakes Alive! Whatever did you do then Ray?

I calmed myself Hope, calmed myself and enquired of the vendor, "Do ye perchance have more of the cinnamon buns similar to the cinnamon buns those gluttons have absconded with?". Then, as if by magic, the vendor produced a cake box, and inside that particular cake box, were encapsulated a full quartet of cinnamon buns.

Thank Goodness Ray. I know how much you care for those cinnamon buns. So what happened next?

Once I espied the particular cinnamon bun I was after I didn't waste any time grabbin' it up out of the cake box and to protect it, I breasted it, and that action, breastin' that cinnamon bun, was fortuitous, just in the nick of time, and wholly attributable to my Druid trainin', fer about then is when that lady sneezed on the rest of those buns.

Ray, I am so proud of you. Do you really think the cinnamon buns that got sneezed on have all been vended by now?

I do Hope. Those buns vend fast.

All righty then, I'm gonna high tail it over there and get me a cinnamon bun too. Bye.

Bye.
_____

*Ray means queued up, maybe.

The Arkdruid

NEWS FLASH! - Ms. Sheehan Supports the War, Maybe

Disclaimer: The following is more boring political commentary, a collective effort of the Cow Barn Druidry and we take full responsibility for the contents, maybe.

Ms. Sheehan pays taxes, maybe. If she does pay taxes, then some of her taxes may be appropriated to support the war, maybe. So ipso facto, Ms. Sheehan supports the war, if she pays taxes.

Beans and peas are the same difference, or very nearly the same difference. But what you say and what you do may not be the same difference, atall. For example, some have alleged that all the money providing support for the war is borrowed from foreign parts and interest won't be due on the loans for quite a spell, so if that's true, nobody now alive supports the war except for those folks providing direct aid to the troops via personal monetary contributions and the troops themselves, maybe. Now for a second example. In this example we assume that the first example does not reflect reality and that the money used for the war actually comes from the taxes of those now alive. And this example is Lomo. Let's say Lomo doesn't pay any taxes. It doesn't matter why Lomo doesn't pay taxes, the point is, that because Lomo doesn't pay taxes, Lomo doesn't support the war and can't support the war unless he makes a personal monetary contribution that does somehow support the war. Now for a third example, Senator Kerry. Senator Kerry is among the rich and powerful, so taxes for him are optional. But we have a feeling he probably does pay some taxes because if he didn't pay taxes, or if he didn't apparently pay some taxes, lotsa people would be aggravated with him. So again, if example one is false, Senator Kerry supports the war if he pays taxes.

Now let's talk quantitatively about support for the war. And again, for any of this to make sense, example one above, must be false. All of us that pay taxes support the war. Perhaps because that is our patriotic duty, but also because most of us are not among the rich and powerful, and consequently, we lack the option on paying taxes. But those of us that do pay taxes pay different amounts. So those that pay less in taxes support the war less, than those who pay more. (Surely, even the most ignorant and vulgar among you can see this).

Finally, we have the special case of those that participate in the prosecution of the war. If they, the war prosecuters, pay taxes, they support the war. If they contribute personally, financially to the war, they support the war. If they don't pay taxes or make personal financial contributions to the war, then they don't support the war. It's that simple.

As we spell it, the earmark magic, spells long in the making, of the Kinglet and his Ministers and his Host of Minions, obscures to invisibility, their say and do.

Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) ammannioides

Spruges in the mornin', spurges in the evenin' spruges fer supper time
Be my little spurges, I'll love ye all the time.

Well aint we cheerful today Crumby. Reckon why that might be?

Ah, ha! It's me bosom companion, Ray, Baby, Ray, arrived fer honest work. Tote that barge, lift that bail, get a little drunk and ye land in jail. Aint that right Ray?

Whutever.

As a matter of fact, and as my bosom companion, who thinks along very much the same lines that I, Crumby think along, we both know why ye are arrived at this crucial juncture instead of bein' out a skippin' through the meadow with Hope.

Whutever. Snuffle.

And Ray, ye know I like to hear ye snuffle. Snufflin' shows that ye have character. I appreciate character in a bosom companion.

All righty then, Crumby. That's it. I be endurin' all I be goin' to endure. Whut's fer work?

Nothin' out of the unusual. First, we have the spurge du jour. But then there's some seriously onerous stuff that I have been avoidin' fer lack of enthusiasm. Perhaps if we engage the onerous together we can make a game of it, and thereby it shall be less onerous, fer me. And while we are makin a game of it, the twain of us can also reflect upon the dangers of overloadin' yerself with yer mouth.

Whutever.

All righty then. Let's get to spurgin' at suppertime.
Here's one that is generally found coastally in Tejas. It reminds me much of the previous entry, E.maculata, but has entire (no toofers), rather than toofer edged leaves.
Them leaves must gum their oatmeal like old Bagdgemagus then, right Crumby?

That's correct-0-rama-bait Ray. This particular toothless wonder was encountered just last summer in Matagorda County and we have no other specimens of it, fer a wonder, unless we have it under some other name, which is a dire or semi-dire possibility. There's two pictures yer fixin' to load. The first uns the flowers and such includin' some of the little petaloid appendages facin' right at the camera and the second one's a flock of seeds. I'm wonderin if that big seed in the middle may be a ringer.

A Late Breakfast at the Cow Barn

Er ye enjoyin' that great larrupin' basin of oatmeal ye have there Ray?

Mmph.

Ah see ye have slathered on a plenty of that apricot jam yer so partial to,and also there be a great many raisins there with.

Mmph.

Now take yer time and chaw it all down good Ray fer I have a matter to discuss with ye.

Mmph, mmph, mmmph-mmph-mmph, gulp....gulp.

All finished.

Yepper.

How was it?

It was delicious Red.

Good. Now Ray, where have ye been workin' this mornin. I aint seen ye about.

I been out in one of the formerly cultivated areas Red, de-seedin'.

And how'd that go Ray? Did ye get a great many?

Yepper. I got 63 bur clovers. Somehow them bur clovers got into that particular formerly cultivated area without nobody noticin' and dern if those rascals didn't seed out.

So do ye have em under control now Ray, the bur clovers that is?

Well maybe. But ye know yerself Red, how tricky deceitful them bur clovers may be.

Yepper, that they can be, both tricky and deceitful. Let's hope ye got a great many of them bur clovers. But fer the nonce Ah require that ye help Crumby do some spellin'.

Crumby!!!

Yep, Crumby has fallen behind on his spellin' and requested yer assistance. He was nice about it too Ray, said ye were far and away better qualified fer this particular job than any other hand round about these parts, better qualifed even than Rayetta.

He did?

Yepper. So after ye digest fer a minute er two, ye need to report to Crumby and hep him with his spellin'. Well, now I got to go read that dern newspaper fer a spell. Don't let all the blood run to yer stomach now, and then ferget about Crumby on account of not havin' any oxygen in yer brain like ye have reported to have happened on some previous similar occasions.

Hmmmmm. What I, Ray am cogitatin' on now, but not spellin' out loud is, Dern that Crumby!!!!! Snuffle. Hope and me was goin' to look at the presumptive shrew habitat. Snuffle.

The LDR Clarifies

I have been engaged in dispassionate observation regarding the telescope shiver preventers/reducers that were recently manufactured at RGVECB under the auspices of, myself. And now, a spell for you upon what they, the shiver preventers/reducers do, do. To put it succintly, leaving out all the boring physics, they promote slow motion. An example, I, the LDR am engaged in happy perusal of Arianrhod's Castle. Then along comes one of the knuckleheads, gawking and whining and wanting a turn at the telescopery. But, of course, I the LDR am not finsished with my turn at the telescopery. So the knucklehead begins to faunch with impatience and jostles the telescopery. In the absence of the shiver preventers/reducers the beautiful little stars shiver violently for an annoyingly protacted interval. But with the shiver preventer/reducers properly in situ, and with the little tripod feet enshoed thereon, the beautiful little stars go b--o--i--n--g, so that the shiver is protracted and though the stars wiggle, they do not shiver, uncontrollably, and soon settle right down. On a planet the visual effect of the jostle is actually comical and I am ashamed to say I have lost my dignity on occasion and cried out in delight, "jostle it again, knucklehead".

Sooooooooo, in summation, the new spell for the telescopery shiver preventer/reducers is the b--o--i--n--g boots.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Where's that dang Raymone? Are all illegal aliens as invisible as ours is? He could be out in the bean bin right now, swipin' my oatmeal.

Oh. And spellin' of Raymone and invisibilty and since we got a smidgin' of rain in these parts, Red had pity on the ladies and reopened one of the comfort stations, fer em. Then too, Nancy the Goddess of Practical Jokes visitin' from the Joke Factory, threw a wall-eye fit over the comfort stations bein' shut up. Ye don't want to see Nancy in wall-eye fit metamorphosis so that particular fit may have nudged Red toward modernity. Anyhow, it's a good thing that the ladies have a indoor comfort station agin. They were tramplin' down the switchgrass in the performance of their ablutions and steppin' on the potential shrews.

I got to spell too, about Red. As you know we keep purty close tabs on his TV watchin' and Hope has been especially dutiful, monitorin' his watchin' and makin' sure he don't get too riled up. But Hope did allow Red to send one of his little reminder foretellin's based on his now restricted and monitored TV watchin' to this venue. And Red spells,

Ever'one should remember that ever' last one of the demons that ye espy on the TV, regularly, is a liar and a glutton, or apprentice to a liar and a glutton.

So ye can see, maybe, that Hope has her hands full. Hope relates that some poll er other set him off this time when she had gone to the icebox to get soda waters fer the both of em and wasn't present in a timely fashion to mollify his reaction to that particular TV episode.

Now I got to keep one wary eye on Crumby, anticipatin' some payback for my spell of the wee hours this mornin' regardin' his terrapin lesson.

Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) maculata

All righty everyone. It's late so the lesson is right short so we can get right on to the spurge du jour. And the lesson is, er, pity the poor terrapins for no one knows where they have got off to.

Crumby yer just makin' that up. Ye have nary a lesson, do ye?

Well Red, actually I may not have a formal lesson, but perhaps we could do some brainstormin' on the general subtopic of terrapin rarity in these parts. We could perhaps theorize on how the CB could assist the poor terrapins by gettin' em a government grant, maybe.

Crumby, nobody came here this evening expecting to theroize extemporaneously on government grants for terrapins. If you had wanted us to do such speculation, you should have warned us so that we could do some preparatory information gathering on such a potentially worthy subtopic. Now, no more shenanigans. Let's proceed to the spurge.

All righty then. Ray, could ye give me a hand here.

Sure nuff Crumby, since ye were so polite with me over my mail.

Er, all righty then. Here we have two pictures of the same spurge.
The first picture is eerily beautiful for some reason I can not explain, and the second one shows some seeds and a capsule. Note how the hairs lay down flat on the capsule. This spurge is fairly common throughout much of Texas and has even managed to become a weed in Europe somehow. I got this one in Matagorda County recently and only collected it because of my wicked past that interfered with my rememberin' that I already had several of these previously collected from diverse locations.

Say Crumby. Terrapins er vegetarians if I recollect correctly. Perhaps the terrapins couldn't bring theirselves to eat eerily beautiful plants and that's what thinned em out. Was that yer lesson, maybe?

All righty then Ray. We don't want to go there. And ye take that evil eye off of em Crumby. It's high time we headed fer the Goddess' bedstead alternative to roundin' out the night with a scrap.

All righty then Red I am indeed amenable to a good night's repose on the Bosom of the Goddess and I certainly do wish the same fer my good friend Crumby and his lost terrapins.

Ray!

A Dispute Arises over Ray's Mail

Gimme that.

No.

Give it me, Ray.

No.

Ray. That gizmo is Cow Barn property. It aint yer property.

Oooooh. You just want the gizmo. You can have the dern gizmo. I just want the package, and them stamps. Here, take the gizmo if that will suit ye Crumby.

All righty then. Ha! For two long I have been constipated with terrible guilt about everything. But now I am down to my last confession, and with this equipment now within my grasp, I shall be guilt free, forever more. Ha! Ha!

Now let me see how this gizmo functions. Lan-ne, la-nee. There we go. Now we just pop this puppy into the telscopery and take just one picture and we, that is me, Crumby am free of previous sin, forever more, and ready fer more. No, no, no more sin, maybe.

The sin ye see illustrated next door occurred during one of my many former weak moments. What ye are witnessing is the topmost parts of Thuja, known to the vulgar as arbor vitae, that I Crumby planted at the Cow Barn with mine own hand, knowing full well its Oriental origins. Why would I do such a dastardly deed, even in a weak moment?

Easy that, once long ago I was visitin' some of the Druidry in these parts and they had one of these arbor vitaes at their place and I espied a red crossbill in that very arbor vitae. So being covetous of another sighting of that particular bird, which is of very unusual occurrence in these parts, I planted an arbor vitae of my very own with mine own hand, this un in fact, hoping to attract more red crossbills. Wickedness, wickedness, wickedness.

But almost as important as being sin free, with this gizmo, I am now equipped to take pictures with any and all representatives of the RGVECB ep collection except for the UO orthos which I don' want to mar the appearance thereof because of their great beauty and resale value.

What name shall I give to this gizmo, for it should be named for its association with an event of such portent? Easy that, The Clamp of No Regrets.

Ray's Thought fer the Nonce

hippy days er here agin
those hippy times er round the bend
I shall grow me hair out long agin
fer hippy days er here agin
_____

Then many nonces go by the board but Ray is still singin'

fire that joint up and pass it round
here a bouts there are no frowns
we got plenty more to go around
hippy days have come to town
____

Lookee here Rayetta. This must be Ray's package from abroad.

Yeah right Hope. If Ray got a package from a broad it would have a legal writ attached.

No silly. I betcha it's that gizmo he was anticipating that he thought the Little Kinglet stole and that you had to dispel him of due to his snufflin' habit.

Lemme see......that. Wait a minute. I thought Ray said his package was coming from Scotland. This one's from Poland. Whoa! I must say, the Poles do stamps right. These are most entertaining stamps. Look at these stamps, Hope.

My goodness gracious. Why so ever does that man have a bag on his head? And isn't that entity sitting in the Lazy Boy on the far left stamp a member of the Crustacea? Goodness!

Hmmmm. It appears to be a shellfish all righty. We may need to find a Polish Druid to interpret these for us.

But shouldn't we give Ray his package now? I think he's been in faerie long enough, maybe.

Well I guess so, but he's soooooo manageable like that and he doesn't fidget or snuffle. On the other hand, he also doesn't do his chores. Okie Dokie.

Oh Ra-ay. Guess what we found.

Our Big Invasive (OBI)

Since our arrival in these immediate parts we, the denizens of the Cow Barn, have labored much and intermittently to remove and replace the many non-native plants that inhabited these immediate parts prior to our arrival. That is, and bear up please, many of these aforementioned plants haled from serious foreign parts much further off than Arkansas or Tennessee, or even Ulster, maybe. Chiefly, the tree/shrub ones that we have/had here derived an ancestry from the Semi-Mysterious Orient.

Some of these non-native trees have persisted here, where many others have succumbed to the murderous attentions of Ray the Killer. Here, off to the east, is the main one that has persisted. It is a nigh onto 27" dbh Chinese tallow tree (Sapium sebiferum). This particular tallow tree has an interesting regulatory history. The previous denizens of the presumptive Cow Barn determined one day that their tallow tree had to be removed, that is, sawn to the very ground.
You may be able to discern their reasoning, if you observe the additional photograph hereabouts, meticulously. For that young Tabby Labber, in the guise of Daffy the Duck, is standing adjacent to a great crack in the sidewalk generated from a subterranean upswelling engendered from a great root of this very same tallow tree depicted in the previous photograph. This terrible crack and associated upswelling of the sidewalk, is a Potential Safety Topic - environmental hazard, fer sure, for those prone to stumpling and also to those prone to slipping when conditions are rarely icy. So the previous occupants of the Cow Barn assayed to remove, it, the tallow tree. But the previous occupants were law abiding to some extent and became aware, somehow, that a permit was required from the local government for to lumber any tree greater than six inch dbh, which even back then, in those days of yore, this particular tallow far exceeded, dbh wise. So the previous occupants, frustrated in their designs, contented themselves with not applying for a permit and instead, sawed all the limbs off, hoping as a result of their labors that the tallow would wax, sincerely dead. But, of course, it did not wax anything of the sort, but instead continued to wax, because that is what tallow trees do, wax.

So now we, the current denizens, are faced with the same dilemma. Because some of us, myself included notoriously, have made much racket about invasive species, we feel obliged, especially and even more so than the previous occupants, to murder this tree once and for all. Yet we hesitate. Why oh why, do we hesitate?

Well, for one thing we have not noticed that many of the seeds actually germinate and those that do get mowered or pulled up expeditiously. But on the other hand, the feathered little wonders may be disseminating those seeds, widely. And then the other excuse is, the dang things so big we caint figure out how to cut it down while at the same time relying only upon the resources available at RGVECB. We have a gaise for seeking outside help in matters of this sort.

Sooooooo. Tonight the local government is having a meeting on invasive species. And I the Crumby Ovate will be attendance. And probably I will be singled out for constructive criticism on account of this particular tallow tree, maybe, because almost everyone with an opinion surmises the tallow tree to be invasive.

Rayetta's Thought for the Day

Goodness! Fort Bend County, so near and yet so far. And George W. has been visiting thereto. Oh my goodness, I am positively giddy, so giddy that I must amend my spell, for I mean the semi-ambiguous George W. versus that other crazy, defective one.

Oh My Goddess, if I had but known he was coming to these parts we could have adventured forth to gaze upon prairie dawn, together.

Crumby, do you still have those glossy photos you took of prairie dawn many previous turns of the merry-go-round hence?

Er, maybe Rayetta. But derned if I know where they are.

Well find them!

Well yes maam!

It's Stretch and Gape Time, Fer Sure

Red Spells - There's nothin' like a good long repose on the Bosom of the Goddess to restore yer vitality and interest in yer corporeal surroundin's once ye come to from bein' conked out.

The Goddess of Reality Checks spells - I must get to work, more expeditiously.

Rayetta spells - There is something to be said for a nice proper bed versus the manger and the cows for company. However, need can send one to sleep in stranger haunts than even mangers, perchance.

Lomo Sapien spells - Star animals different for Lomo asleep than awake.*

Hope Spells - I foretell a merry time for the immediate nonce.

Crumby Ovate spells - Crumpet!**

Raymone sings - You can't see me.

and I, Ray spell - It's about time fer an oatmeal er two.
____

*Proto humans have racial memories that are latent or non-existent in the more advanced among the morphologically semi-diverse genus, Homo.
**The Crumby Ovate is wondering if his dignity has been offended, for one among the Druidry in these parts referenced Crumby as Crumpet. So naturally Crumby is reflecting on the phonetic similarity of crumpet to, strumpet.

The Arkdruid

Wore Out!

I, Ray am wore out from stayin' up too late and arisin' too early, and likewise are many of us in the immediate hereabouts. We have been neglectin' our quality time upon the Bosom of the Goddess, so tonight, we are goin' to bed early and sleep fer as long as we can. But here's a couple of pictures from our first serious experimentation with telescopery photography in the little Lomo telescope.

The subject is an unopened package of "Wash Away Your Sins Lip Balm" dated 2000 AD and presented as a gift to me, Ray by one now lost to our vision. It, the unopened package of lip ointment, is reclinin' slightly upon a lawn chair about 100 feet east of the telescopery and photography apparatus.
The top un is through a 40mm GSO plossl eyepiece and is zoomed up a might with the camera. The second is through a 25mm Lomo plossl and Celestron Ultima 2x barlow with no, or little, camera zoom, maybe. Although, this may be all wrong since I'm wore out and wasn't payin' very close attention. In both pictures ye may be interested to note the strange backgrounds produced by the combination of catadioptric scope and camera.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Edible Beans - Common Names of which I am personally aware and can conjure up by myself

Black bean, Butter bean, Green bean, Lima bean, Navy bean, Pinto bean.

Edible Peas - Common Names of which I am personally aware and can conjure up by myself.

Black eye pea, Chick pea, Cow pea, English pea, snow pea.

Other Edible legumes - Common Names of which I am personally aware and can conjure up by myself.

Lentil.

All righty then. Rayetta, in her capacity as the LDR has set me up with a Druid mind trainin’ puzzle to divert me, Ray from frettin’ and the snufflin’ and fidgetin’ that may result from frettin’ and that shall restore me to my naturally placid state. In addition, this exercise will allow us to determine if Crumby’s lesson of the prior to now evenin’ was fact, or just an opinion, maybe.

Let’s see now, I am to spell all the edible legumes of which I am personally aware as beans, peas or other. Then I am supposed to put ‘em in different subcategories and situate the different ones in the different subcategories every which a way I can think up. All righty then.

Subcategory 1 - . All the ones I find, delicious.

Green bean, pinto bean, black eye pea, English pea, lentil

Subcategory 2 - All the round ones.

English pea, chick pea and lentil, sort of. Anyway, none of these are shaped like the rest of the normally edible peas and beans.

Subcategory 3 - Edible Legume colors.

This aint no help due to, too many variables.

Subcategory 4 - I occasionally eat the pods.

Green bean, black eye pea, (snow pea - but only to be polite).

Subcategory 5 - I don’t ever get to eat any dried ones.

Green bean

Subcategory 6 - Size

Now here’s somethin’. The beans seem to trend bigger. For example, butter bean and lima bean are a large bean. But then, navy bean is a little bean. Still, these beans average larger than the peas and lentil. All righty then. Rayetta will like this one since it may lead to a line of disputation with Crumby’ lesson, to whit, that beans and peas are the same difference.
_____

Great Goddess! It is such a purty day out yonder. I do surmise that I, Ray will now do a paterole of the premises, for I am now placid indeed. Who wants to go on a paterole?

Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) hirta

Ray! What's wrong?

The criminals in the government of these Yorenited States have stole my property before I even got it. Snuffle.

Jeez Louise, Ray! I simply can not abide that snuffling. I have asked you repeatedly not to snuffle.

Hope. What in Cerridwen's Kettle is Ray carrying on about?

Oh My Goddess Rayetta!!! Ray has concluded that the Little Kinglet has stolen his mail that was coming all the way from Scotland and which same mail, Ray had so looked forward to receiving, not alone for the subject of the mail itself, but also due to the great distance over which the mail was to have traveled, before the Little Kinglet may have bushwhacked it, Ray's mail.

Mail from Scotland, why that was just some telescopery gizmo that I, Rayetta, actually recall approving the acquisition of. Why in one of the many names of the Great Goddess does Ray think the Little Kinglet bushwacked that particular mail?

I believe, to hear Ray tell it, that particular mail is long overdue and Red told Ray that these days the Little Kinglet is bushwhackin all the mail and just taking anything he pleases for himself, without a by yer leave, as it were.

Hmmmm. Ray! Blow yer nose for Goddess Sake and then, after you blow your nose, come over here.

Honk, snort, snort. All righty then, Rayetta.

Now listen up Ray. I don't believe the Little Kinglet has your mail. I think that your mail is on its way. It takes a while for mail to come all the way from Scotland. Show some patience. That particular mail will arrive, anon. Isn't that right, Hope?

You betcha Rayetta. That mail will arrive anon, potentially unopened and possibly not nastily fingered by the Little Kinglet or even by some among his great multitude of mindless minions.

Snuffle. Snuffle.

Ray! Stop that!!! And Hope, I am surprised at you, using such negative spells. Don't encourage Ray in this fixation. We'll be knee deep in snot if ye encourage him. Ray! your mail will certainly be here anon, and if it isn't here anon, I Rayetta will spell the proper authorities and put everything right. You will get your mail anon, for Goddess Sake.

Well alrighty then, Rayetta. If ye say so.

Now that's settled. What's tonight's lesson, Crumby?

Tonight's lesson is "More of the Same Difference", Rayetta.

Good. That sort of spell should be of sufficient complexity and interest so that all of us can take our minds off the merely mundane until such time as we all go to rest on the Bosom of the Goddess.

Yepper. Anyway, tonight's lesson "More of the Same Difference" is beans and peas. Many of the wise fer long ages have speculated on what is a bean and what is a pea. Yet, to this very day, no one knows fer sure, and the wise themselves, wearied of long disputation on this subtopic, have purty much given up, on beans and peas. So like the Druidry of Old, we conclude that they are the same difference, much like plant varieties and subspecies.

Nevertheless, a related leguminous subtopic continues to trouble. As you all know, the souls of humans and some of the proto humans seek refuge in beans, and peas also, maybe, since they, the beans and peas, are the same difference. And as you also know, a great many pinto beans have recently been et up by all of us here at RGVECB. Of course, ye also know that its Okie Dokie for us to eat the beans because Red has kept close pedigrees on all the beans produced in these parts and guarantees that none of the ones we are likely to eat up are our ancestors. So the only unresolved issues regarding bean and peas maybe, is the gas issue.

Ray. You cooked those beans. Explain to everyone the elaborate steps you took to siphon off the yelpin' of all those poor lyin' and gluttonous souls that were trapped in the beans as gas.

All righty then Crumby. First, I boiled them beans for awhile so that much of the gas would escape into the water, both the water's liquid and gaseous states. Then I poured off all that gas water and replenished the beans with fresh water. Once I got it all boilin' again, I dropped Clarence the forked carrot in so that he could absorb much of the gas. Then after awhile, I fished Clarence out and he's now restin' on the Bosom of the Goddess in the west fenceline recyclin' pile.

Thankee Ray. Them's all excellent precautionary steps. But even so, many of us are mitey afflicted, nonetheless, for the nonce with the gaseous emissions of those lyin' and gluttonous souls escapin' into the atmosphere where, the Goddess is no doubt havin' to corral them. And I conclude, therefore, that we may need to come up with some extra precautionary steps for addressin' this troublin' rectumatory issue.

All righty then. That's midgily fine Crumby. And a good suggestion too, that I, Red will work on in my spare time.

Now, I Red have a celestial body report to make. Thank's to Lomo's electric gizmo, I was enabled to enjoy leisurely looksees at the Seven Sisters and many of those young ladies' companions. Not only that, ol' Bran the Blessed is right under the Beehive. Ha! That ol talkin' head knows what the bees know, fer sure. But now, at last, I have an urge, to also see me a spurge. Whut's the spurge?

Tonight's spurge is dwellin' in these parts penultimately, but ultimately, it's originals come from Africa. Reportedly, it has some use in those parts as a poison, applied to dart tips and perhaps some poor monkey er two has thus been overcome. Penultimately, this one occurred in a flower pot, possibly a flower pot also containin' a mountain pea, at the Dig Up plant growing facility located right here in Travis County, and met me, and its doom, on September 13, 1998. The flowers occur in tight, what is known as glomerules, which means lots of and bunched up. That is a mashed down glomerule yer witnessin' nearby. Several seeds are more or less visible in the glomerule, but the one in the middle is the most in focus. The color of this one might be described, beggin' yer pardon ladies, as titty pink, underneath that whitish scurf.

Where' s My Dang Package

It still aint arrived. My mail, that is, er is maybe, comin' all the way from Glasgow, Scotland. The anticipation is killin' me.

Whut er they doin' with it, swimmin' it over? Perhaps it has been lost at sea. Perhaps some pirate has it right now. Where's my dang mail?

Perhaps Kinglet George has it. That's probably the explanation. He has confiscated my property.

The Importance of Recyclin' - Hope Remains and Lomo Sapien

At the Cow Barn we consume immeasurable quantities of coffee. And because most of us have very busy schedules, lotsa the coffee we consume is of the instant variety. All this consumption figures up to lotsa recyclables. So with the kind assistance and also immeasurable musculature of the mighty Lomo, we have just barely succeeded in luggin' one of the instant coffee decanters, together with the bag it came in, here to the photographic studio. And those very items, the instant coffee decanter and the bag it was wrapped in, are here depicted, photographically, to show you what we are up against, recyclin' wise. That's me, Hope Remains, looking especially smart in a green and blue mini-gown.

Mercy, these coffee decanters arrive by mail in enormous big boxes. And inside the big boxes are wrapped up an even dozen, not a baker's dozen, of the decanters in interesting, inflatable plastic bags, an example of which is also depicted here photographically. What are we to do with the decanter, once it is emptied out, and with the inflatable plastic bags and verily also with the great box? Easy that, we recycle 'em. Preferably, we like to find uses for them at the CB and recycle in house. So we put stuff in the decanters, like screws for example. But of course, we accumulate more decanters than is required for screw habitat so many of these decanters have to be shipped away. Yet the market for used glass decanters is in a bust cycle so, periodically we are obliged to haul these decanters and other items of glass, to a recyclin' center across town, where apparently they are more optimistic regarding pre-owned glass futures.

As to the plastic bags, we are reluctant to depart with them. So for the nonce they are merely stored, anticipating the need for some great mailing of optical equipment that no longer meets the stringent requirements of the Panic Attack Defense System or Our Observations on the Tiny and/or Far Away. As to the box, we must break it down and put it in a container out by the little lane that meanders hard upon the Cow Barn.

So recyclin' is much on our minds and thus an important aspect of life at RGVECB. And though some of us, Crumby in particular, wax aggravated by the stringent requirements imposed by our recyclin' program, we should always remember, Recyclin' is Our Duty Now, for the Future.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Jeez Louise. Imagine this. Some presumptive astronomer gets a telescope fer Baby Jesus Day. But this particular presumptive astronomer lives in northwestern Minnesota, hard upon the much frozen northlands. But what a round chested presumptive astronomer we are considering here, so out he, she or it ventures into the frigid night, for to observe the celestial. Then lo and behold it is very cold indeed and the first ep selected freezes to finger tips, then a second also does likewise, but on t'other paw. So then our presumptive astronomer must retreat inside the house to somehow detach those eps from its fingers. Can ye imagine the aggravation of tryin' to get the door to the warm house open with an ep froze to each paw? I can.

The above is what almost happened to me, Ray in the wee hours of this mornin' when I went outside without my jacket.

Ray! Do you recall the temperature regime of this particular early morning during the wee hours in these parts?

Easy that Crumby, not precisely, but it was mitey cold indeed, so back inside the Cow Barn went I, and adorned myself with a jacket. And while so adorned and fidgetin' about in the great outdoors I was then accosted by a great dog wearin' a contraption bedecked with blinkin' lights, so that this particular great dog was of terrible aspect, much like the spells respectin' the Hound of the Baskervilles, or even the Hound of Cu the Ulaid, and much afeared and startled would I have been, accosted by this great slaverin' dog, but for all the Druid trainin' I, Ray have met with, first at Dr. Swineherd's place, and now at the good old Cow Barn.

Yepper Ray. That stray Labrador retriever was indeed fairly spooky.

Euphorbia (Chamaescye) geyeri

Okie Dokie. Countin' the two we have on, that makes twenty, Ray. You have one of yers on, right?

Yepper. One of the new uns. Surely Crumby, we verily have more undears twixt the twain of us than many others even among the mightiest of the Druidry ever.

Yep, we probably do fer sure, maybe. But now let's see if we caint avoid wearin' each others in the absence of mutual permission. No what I mean, Ray?

No need to get high and mighty avec moi, there Crumby. Likely it is that many have seen ye promenadin' around the Cow Barn in mine too.

Be that as it may Ray, now we have plenty and we need to put marks upon them all so we can discern whose is whose and that way we will only need to borrow, one from t'other, followed hard upon polite request or emergencies dire or semi-dire. What mark would ye prefer?

Shrew and Ox.

All righty then, that's two marks. Why do ye figure ye rate two marks on yer undears Ray?

Shrew and Ox er totems, fer me. I can nae slight the one nor favor t'other.

All righty then. That's reasonable. Here's yer pile. Better count em to make sure ye have nine.

Hold it fer the nonce Crumby. Do we have oat marks also? Perhaps I should include oats so that they also will not be offended, with me.

Yepper Ray. We got oat marks too. So ye'll have three marks on yer undears. Caint be too careful.

What are yer marks Crumby?

Well Ray, seein' as how yers will be well marked, I caint really see how I'll need any marks on mine.

No way dude! If they aint branded they be free range.

Yikes! All righty then. Hmmmmmm. I pick wild canary, spurge, monkey and pigweed. That's four for the Crumby Ovate. Now let's stamp on the all the marks and then get on to this evenin's spurge splurge.
_____

Somewhat and many la-nees later.

_____

All righty then. Those undears are now indelibly marked with marks of the flora, yea verily as well as the fauna. Shall we spurge?

We shall indeed, spurge. Tonight's spurge is none other than E. geyeri, waftin' fer across both space and time from the Carrizo Sands of Bexar County, circa 1997. And a lovely little spurge this one is. We have here depicted nearby once we get it loaded up, the little smooth as a baby's lala seeds, in addition to flowers, leaves and much other of the many features of this spurge, hereabouts somewhere indicated.

Druid Cosmology Revisited - Crumby Ovate and Rayetta Pistrum

As has already been admitted on several previous occasions in this venue, and everywhere else the Druidry persist and make public commentary, Cosmology is not the earmark of our Liturgy. We are opinionated but ignorant on the great issue of universe formation. For the WG has not been much forthcoming on this subtopic and we can only assume She knows what She's doing and does other stuff, other places, outside those areas the Druidry in these parts can perceive with binoculars or a small telescope. But we are, nevertheless, curious in a desultory way about the subtopic Cosmology way out yonder where we don't know what's happenin', fer sure.

So a headline on Astromart.com/news

Huge Superbubble of Gas Blowing Out of Milky Way

is liable to perk some of us up. Companioning with this headline and the susbequent spell, is an artist's rendition of the event, which, together with comments provided by a couple of our comrade Astromarters, which we will not respell in this venue, puts the event in some reasonable perspective.

We have copied the artist's rendition off to the east of this text and very much hope we have not done anything that will get us in trouble with the internet police*. You may see for yourselves, expeditiously, that this is a very interesting artist's rendition of the event.

In addition to the artist' rendition of the superbubble, we found another picture on the internet that we have copied also just to the east of this current text. 'Tis an actual picture of a starfish, not an artist's rendition of a starfish. We would now request that you take sufficient time to examine these twain images.
_____

la-nee, la-nee, lanee, lanee, lanee
_____

All righty then. Once upon a time there was a fairly famous zoologist who spelled himself Alfred Sherwood Romer to distinguish himself from other zoologists of lesser account. The mighty Romer, among others, hypothesized that chordates, that is animals with backbones, had to have evolved from some ancestral form of one sort or another and that this logical ancestor was most likely to have been a starfish (Echinodermata). Starfish, you see, when they are tiny babies, actually swim about much like mammalian sperm, and so, for a short time, are not limited by creepy crawly locomotion. And the hypothesis goes on that a little one, a presumptive starfish, did something unusual and instead of going the route of the starfish, remained a fish, or fishlike, or approximately fishlike, or at the least an artist's rendition of fishlike. This sort or verve, took lotsa nerve, and so the backbone was established to contain all that nerve. Much later, the yellow streak down yer back evolved to indicate the diminishment of nerve as the chordates progressed or regressed, as the case might be.

But the subtopic of today's lesson is

The Similarity of the Starfish and the Milky Way and What Implifications, if any, that Similarity Portends for Druid Cosmology.

Note: The Milky Way and the Starfish are similarly shaped, that is flat. Also, both have numerous arms waving about. Note also: The above cited comments from our comrade Astromarters are more indicative of the arms of the Milky way than the artist's rendition.

Now, one of the great evolutionary innovatations of Echinodermata was the acquisition of an anus, an anus altogether separate in usual form and function from a mouth. Could it be that this gas superbubble is indicative of a closer than previously assumed relationship between galaxies and the Echiondermata, and that these galaxies, the Milky Way being but one example, have also evolved, an anus?

A great multitude of the ignorant and vulgar opine that we, that is humans and perhaps some of the proto humans, were made in God's image. Now, struck with all this new evidence, even we, a subset of the Cowbarn Druidry, are beginning to wonder.
_____
* Art credit: Bill Saxton, NRA)/AUI/NSF

Ray's Thought for the Day

I apologize to everyone in advance for what I, Ray am about to spell. I have striven long against this spell, but I am weak, weak and I caint hep myself.

Ever since Crumby and Hope started the fuss about caruncles, I, Ray have been reflectin' on the similar spell, carbuncles. Not the jewels carbuncles either, but those carbuncles that are known to afflict the dermis of mammals and even localized deep tissues in the general vicinity of the afflicted dermis forming large purulent sores that are of even greater dimension and attitude than boils.

Now I have never officially had a carbuncle on my dermis, but I had a boil on my back for a good while that waxed to a great size and ultimately required much ministration from many of the Cowbarn Druidry to effect its eventual destruction, for verily it waxed huge and had many lives. And though I have always thought of it fondly as an extraordinary great boil, it may, in fact, have qualified as a carbuncle. I still carry a scar on my back from that particular boil if anyone would like to inspect it,(the scar) and perhaps measure its dimensions with a ruler. Lucky for me the Kingship of the Ulaid didn't come open whilst I was afflicted with that boil. I would have been, disqualified, due to that boil, er perhaps, carbuncle.

Euphorbia (Poinsetta) (not Chamaesyce) dentata

This departure from the Chamaesyce follows upon Hope's yen to see a caruncle. Now getting a picture of a caruncle on a seed that was collected in 1995 is not as easy as it sounds. Nevertheless, when finally provoked to action, I, Crumby am a badger in a bag, for getting out of the bag.

May I please see the caruncule now, Crumby?

No Hope. Patience is a virtue.

So there I was skipping along the trail at Walnut Creek Park in Travis County when low and behold I beheld a Euphorbia dentata in fruit. So I said to myself and the two dogs that were in company with me at that time,

There is E. dentata and I do not believe, oddly enough, that I, the then presumptive Crumby Ovate, have ever collected that spurge despite its being rather common in these parts.

So then, after much additional thought and careful deliberation I did indeed collect that unfortunate plant and made it into a specimen.

Crumby! What about the caruncle?

Simmer down Rayetta. Patience is a virtue. And you ladies need to stop interruptin'.
Yer not goin' to hasten me, by constantly interruptin'. Er, so there I was in those days, even collectin' plants that I could already sight identify, because I was at that time only a short while into my trainin' and had many of the characteristics normally associated with the ignorant and vulgar.

Crumby, it is I the Goddess of Reality Checks and Nancy the Goddess of Practical Jokes is here also, visitin', and we would like to see the caruncle.

You would? Well alrighty then. You will see the caruncle anon, but first I must elaborate on the cancer-curing properties of this particular spurge, because when it's milky juice is applied topically to a cancerous growth of the skin, and even so also when applied to warts, those unappealing and unnatural growths are often vanquished, maybe. Plus

Crumby! We have not got all night. Now get on with it or else.

Hmph. So ye wanna see a caruncle, but remain in ignorance of all else. Well, all righty then. Here tis. Ray, hep me load em up.

Here's the dern caruncle, located just east. There's a line with an arrow pointin', to it. I had a real hard time gettin' any sort of picture of this here caruncle, but there it is, fer sure. This caruncle is situated over the beveled ventral surface of the microhylar end of this highly microtuberculate seed.

And this here picture adjacent is of the stalk that holds up the caruncle when the caruncle aint been knocked off. It's the little whitish stringy lookin' affair stickin' off the bottom of the seed.

So that's a caruncle. Well I swan.

Ray's Thought for the Day

I'm soooooooooooooooooooo happy! I feel at peace. I just et up a delicious bowl of oatmeal with all my favorite ingredients associated with those particular oats. And and, and, it's rainin, or maybe drizzlin' fer the nonce, and the sky is all gray and its cool and all the little seedlin's are clappin' their hands, fer joy.

Yepper Ray. It's a mighty fine day indeed. A day that we have not seen the like of for many moons. But inform me Ray, since my botanical training at the Joke Factory was scanty, how do the little monocot seeds clap their hands, for joy?

Er. Well now Hope. Er. Hmmmmm. All righty then. Easy that, what the little monocot seeds do is scrunch up next to one another, and two of them that is the twain of those two particular seeds that are thus scrunched up will clap their two hands together, that is each of the twain havin' one hand to clap.

So Ray, is that then the sound of one hand clapping that I now discern.

Yepper Hope, that is indeed the very sound of one hand clapping.

The Great Debate Rages at RGVECB

The repercussions from the general alienation from Mom Nature, that is the WG, are fixin' to be terrible indeed. And no power can head those terrible repercussions off. So we at RGVECB and all the Druidry in these parts, need to hone in on savin' our own skins and ferget about the ignorant and vulgar. The wicker fires be lit. Let em burn.
_____

No, no, no. We got to hep em. We got to bring em to the Goddess, all those sufferin' lost piglets.
_____

It's too late.
_____

No, no, no. It's never too late, so long as Druid Hope remains.
_____

Yesterday, Ray's cinnamon bun, though delicious anyway, was burnt on its bottom. That's a portend fer skin-savin', fer sure.
_____

Yikes! Burnt on the bottom ye say!
_____

I do indeed, fer it was veritiably singed and the cinnamon and sugar mixed together on the bottom of that particular bun was a might* blackened.
_____

Ah ha! That means the Goddess is only going to wicker the worst of the liars and gluttons, maybe.
_____

There are a great many of the wicked, how will the WG discern which are merely, the worst?
_____

The land itself shall take voice, and the land shall have to tell on them!
_____

All righty then. Er. Some of us have noticed that the WG aint as discriminating in Her application of the wicker as some of us might wish.
_____

That''s why the land must give up the king and his (its) wicked ministers, stoopid!
_____

Whoa! Yepper. I plumb fergot about that expeditious solution.
_____


The great debate rages, the wheel turns and we all go round.

The Arkdruid

*There is no consensus in these parts on this spell. However, most of us agree that the spell "mite", in the context used is funnier, so from now on we will substitute the spell "mite" for "might" in this particular context, maybe. Also, in deference to the many fans of flies, we might use the spell "midge", maybe.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Snort. Looks like Crumby had one of his spells last night. That derives from the poor conditions for celestial body viewin' that prevailed through both the great and wee hours of the darkness and left him with plenty of time to consider potential panic attacks. But nonetheless, the wheel turns and we all go round and guess what day it is? It's cinnamon bun fer Ray, day. Yepper. That 'tis.

Let's see now. If I Ray, was a glutton, how many cinnamon buns could I eat up. Hmmm. I could eat up twice three fifties in a year and then some, maybe.

Typically, a great hero of the Ulaid would swallow a roast pig, without chewing. You may think that unlikely, but I have seen a grown man swallow a Hostess Snowball, without chewing.

Goodness Gracious Sakes Alive. The authorities have arrested a great many Elfs. That aint right. The elves have suffered enough. Spell. Give 'em each a hunerd dollars and turn 'em loose.

Dad Gum It!

Near as I can figure, those 14x microscope eps are about the same magnification as a 17mm plossl. Now where could I get 17mm plossls fer that micrcoscope that would have sufficient eye relief (ER) to allow me to wear my spectacles while observing through the microscope? Huh!

Perhaps I should just forget about the 17mm and go for longer focal length eps with nice wide fields. Like 25 or 30mm, maybe with lotsa nice ER. That may be the ticket. Yepper.

Maybe someone will vend me a 25mm plossl just like this one here, somewhere. There it is, off to the east. See how the lens is big and wide and right on top of this ep. The eyeguard is removed so you can see what I'm talking about. That particular lens is right at 23mm diameter. It may be a LOMO but it sure doesn't look like the LOMOs depicted on the LOMO America site. Who makes these dang eps? Why are they so different from all the other eps? How come all this telescopery and microscopery is trial and error when it comes to equipment acquisition? Why do humans get married instead of practicing polymorphous eroticism? What's the name of the current Pope?

Calm down Crumby. Yer overwrought and beside yerself.

Yer right Red. What time is it anyhow? My watch has veritably give up the ghost. Did you know that Seiko is Okies spelled backwards? What kind of goofy spell is that?

Crumby, I told ye to calm yerself. It's nigh onto 2 AM fer Goddess Sakes. So the both of us need to be reclinin' on the Bosom of the Goddess.

All righty then Red. I'm fixin' to pack it in.

All righty then. And no more hollerin' out loud. Yer scarin' the pigs.

All righty then.
_____

Later. Somewhat later.
_____

But I the Crumby Ovate am fairly lathered up. Soooooooooo. I snuck back in here. I have to be quiet though. Now where's that picture. Ah ha! There it is, off to the north northeast. If ye click on that particular picture to make it bigger, ye'll notice that I, Crumby obscured part of it with grayness. That's to conceal a partial nasty lookin' digit print. But look up there right to the right of the white printin'. I didn't do that. It's printin' that has been painted over, er somethin'. It don't show up except to the keen vision of the camera. What's the real story behind this ep? Someone or some thing, oooooooooo!, took the trouble to paint over it, maybe. This has to do with free trade, betcha.

Euphorbia cordifolia

Hey Rayetta.

Hey yall. Why does Ray look so miserable?

He's sulking, Rayetta?

Sulking! Why are you sulking Ray?

Ray?

I, Ray am aggravated with ye Rayetta fer not askin' me if I wanted to sleep with the cows.

You are! Well I applogize then Ray, fer not askin ye. But ye know Ray, sometimes a person just needs to work alone.

Want to spell us yer vision, Rayetta?

Nope.

Aw come on Rayetta. Please spell us.

Nope.

All righty then.

Want to join in on what we been studyin'?

Sure.

Take it away, Crumby.

All righty then. This lesson is about overloadin' yerself and this is what happened. A Connaughtman said to Cuhulian:

I do not know why anyone should be afraid of you. I see no horror or terror or overpowering of odds in you. You are a pretty boy only, with weapons of wood and with impressive tricks.

This kind of remark is what in Arkansas is referenced as "overloadin' yerself with yer mouth". A short time after he made this remark that particular Connaughtman was sliced in half from the crown of his noggin to his lala and was bein' drug by his heels behind a chariot. When the chariot was on smooth ground, his two halves came together, but if it was bumpy ground, the two halves flopped apart.

Yikes. What in the Name of the Goddess provoked this lesson?

Randomness of observation, Rayetta. Randomness. But also to re-emphasize the importance of stealth.

Crumby. I know it is not one of yer gifts, focus, but ye really should try to focus on fewer subtopics, simultaneously. What else is goin' on, tonight.

Well, Ray, the Normally Placid Druid, is fixin' to upload yet another spurge. Then, if Hope can arrange it, we're all gonna go look at the Pleiades, maybe. Funny Rayetta, you sleepin' with the cows and the very next night we all decide to observe, Taurus. Want to spell us on last night?

Noper. Let's load that spruge.

All righty then.

This particular spurge was encountered in April 1998 on South Padre Island, Cameron County. There's the seed on the bottom, a busted part of a capsule to its right, and then some flowers and such above that. Note the interesting stipules next to the leaves.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Jeez Louise. I couldn't find Rayetta anywhere this mornin'. Then I go out lookin' fer her and she's out back, sleepin' with the cows. Then to top that off, she said she was seekin' a vision and that's why she slept with the cows. I asked her if she had a vision, but she wouldn't tell me it, the spell of the vision. It aggravates me, Ray, when Rayetta does this kind of behavior. I feel left out.

Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) angusta

Yep that spell to simmer the dern wind down worked just fine, but now it's clouded up out yonder and ye caint see a celestial body one.

I have a spell for the clouds too Ray. Want me to make them, disappear?

No, no, no, Hope! We need them clouds for their rain makin' potential. Don't even think about makin' the clouds go away. Red would be especially aggravated if ye nixed a rain possibility.

So, no telescopery for the nonce. What's fer fun tonight? Hey Crumby have ye got another ASS photograph, fer me?

As a matter of fact, I have not been entirely idle and have labored incessantly for several minutes to produce yet another spurge seed image.

Well let's load er up then. Which one ye got here Crumby?

This one is vintage May 1999 from Edwards County. It is Euphorbia angusta, and it's endemic to Texas, maybe. The seed as you may be able to see is white.

Yikes, Crumby that seed is similar to the WG's complexion when She's out of sorts.

Yepper, Hope. Yer right on that fer sure.

Here's a spell for this particular seed, "grayish-white to chalky, a few low irregularly anastomosing transverse ridges, ecarunculate."

Do yall see all that?

Excuse me Crumby, but I don't see the ecarunculate, because I don't know what an ecarunculate might be disposed, to be.

Well then, you wouldn't necessarily be seein' any sign of a caruncle Hope, cause it aint there. That's why it's ecarunculate, although that may not be apparent to everyone. Carunculate aint a word ye see spelled every day. And e-carunculate generally spells it aint there atall.

Oh! Well Crumby, I think you should take a picture of a caruncle, so I will know what they look like.

All righty then Hope. Soon as I can find one. Where's Rayetta?

She's out back with the cows, reading up on Druid marriages.

Er. All righty then!

Yep!

Telescope Tomfoolery

Last night, due in no small measure to the expeditious arrival of a hardly ever used and most excellent 2x Ultima barlow which we acquired from a comrade Astromarter, we were out lookin' at the celestial bodies and the neighbors windows with the little Lomo. And while thus engaged we noticed that Saturn was traipsin' perilously close to the Beehind Cluster. Now we are wonderin' if we should maybe lug the big Lomo out and see how close Saturn actually does traipse on the Beehind Cluster. That's what we didn't pay attention to, just how close, from this particular vantage point.

Ray! You know very well it's called the Beehive Cluster.

It is! Well I swan. You are correct Rayetta.

Furthermore, we were not lookin' in on the neighbors.

That's correct-o-mundo again Rayetta, but what I am tryin' to do here is use some poetic license in this particular venue.

Ray!

All righty then. Hope, do you know any spells to get this infernal wind to quit blowin' so dern hard?

Yepper. Spell, "Wind don't blow, when the Goddess don't know." That'll quiet the wind right down for the nonce you want the wind quiet, maybe.

All righty then. We may have to use that spell tonight.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Whoa! Yesterday, Crumby and me were queried on the subtopic, Druid weddings, again. Triple yikes and Goddess help us out. No other subtopic, hardly, brings on the fidgets and the panic attacks in Crumby and me more than weddings. So we, that is the twain of us, Crumby and me, being Druids more expert on a variety of subtopics other than weddings, panicked and rushed straight to the internet, where we found this document, copied below. Now, when we discovered this document, we tried to run it by Nancy the Goddess of Practical Jokes, but Nancy wasn't paying attention to us or something and her only remark on it, the document below, was, "Nobody in their right mind would marry you, Ray.", which may be true, but misses the mark. So we are going to run this document by the LDR and Hope, maybe, to see what they think.

However, Crumby and me, apart from the annoying reference made to Aegnus, plus not catching on to the horseshoe part, and wondering about why there are 12 stations in the inner circle and not 13, surmise that this document is liturgically OK, maybe.

In addition to the document copied below, we found lotsa stuff on the internet that's not liturgically Okie Dokie, maybe. Nonetheless some of those described antics cited as Druidic, but decidedly not Druidic, maybe, were apparently lotsa fun for some of the participants. Then of course also on the internet, are the Little Witches hawking lotsa geegaws, play purties and "spells" for the terminally consumer minded under the general auspices of things pagan and/or Celtic.

One other thing, Crumby and me did notice about the below that we found troubling, apart from the all the blarney in an allegedly Breton derived ceremony, is the omission of strictures on lyin and gluttony.

I swear by the Great Goddess to tell the truth to ye?, I swear by the Great Goddess to share fairly with ye? Yeppers on these two. All righty then. Let's everyone celebrate and have lotsa fun.

DRUID WEDDING CEREMONY
1. (from The Druid Way)

In this ceremony, the participants form both a circle and a horseshoe. A larger outer circle containing a smaller horseshoe-shaped group of participants, or a small circle enclosed in a large horse-shoe may be formed by participants.

Once both circle and horseshoe are formed, the DRUID and DRUIDESS who will supervise the rite enter. The Circle is cast by the DRUID and blessed and consecrated by the DRUIDESS. They then say 'Welcome!' and all reply 'Welcome!' The DRUID and DRUIDESS then say, 'Oh Great Spirit/Goddess we ask for your Blessing on this our ceremony.' The Gates are then opened by those at the Quarters:

DRUID:
Let the four directions be honoured that power and radiance might enter our circle for the good of all beings.

CALLER OF THE NORTH:
With the blessing of the great bear of the starry heavens and the deep and fruitful earth, we call upon the powers of the North.

CALLER OF THE SOUTH:
With the blessing of the great stag in the heat of the chase and the inner fire of the sun, we call upon the powers of the South.

CALLER OF THE WEST:
With the blessing of the salmon of wisdom who dwells within the sacred waters of the pool, we call upon the powers of the West.

CALLER OF THE EAST:
With the blessing of the hawk of dawn soaring in the clear pure air, we call upon the powers of the East.

DRUIDESS:
May the harmony of our circle be complete.

DRUID:
We stand upon this Holy Earth and in the Face of Heaven to witness the Sacred Rite of Marriage between (GROOM) and (BRIDE). Just as we come together as family and friends so we ask for the Greater Powers to be present here within our Circle. May this Sacred Union be filled with their Holy Presence.
(pause)

By the power vested in me I invoke the God of Love whose name is Aengus mac Og to be present in this Sacred Place. In his name is Love declared.

DRUIDESS:
By the power vested in me I invoke the Goddess of the Bright Flame whose name is Brigid to be present in this Sacred Place. In Her name is Peace declared.

DRUID:
In the name of the Ancestors whose Traditions we honour,

DRUIDESS: In the name of those who gave us Life,

BOTH: May we all unite in Love.
DRUIDESS: The joining together of Man and Woman in the Sacred Rite of Marriage brings together great forces from which may flow the seeds of future generations to be nurtured within the womb of Time. Within every Masculine nature lies the Feminine, within every Feminine nature lies the Masculine. The interplay of Masculine and Feminine forces when flowing freely in a union based upon true Love finds many expressions. This union is truly Holy.

DRUID: Goddess to God,

FEMALE PARTICIPANT 1: God to Goddess,

MALE PARTICIPANT 1: Priestess to Priest,

FEMALE PARTICIPANT 2: Priest to Priestess,

MALE PPARTICIPANT 2: Woman to Man,

FEMALE PARTICIPANT 3: Man to Woman,

MALE PARTICIPANT 3: Mother to Son,

FEMALE PARTICIPANT 4: Son to Mother,

MALE PARTICIPANT 4: Daughter to Father,

FEMALE PARTICIPANT 5: Father to Daughter,

MALE PARTICPANT 5: Sister to Brother.

DRUIDESS: Brother to Sister.

DRUID:
Who walks the Path of the Moon to stand before Heaven and declare her Sacred Vows? (BRIDE steps forward) Do you (BRIDE) come to this place of your own free will?

BRIDE: I do.

DRUIDESS:
Who walks the Path of the Sun to stand upon this Holy Earth and declare his Sacred Vows? (GROOM steps forward) Do you (GROOM) come to this place of your own free will?

GROOM:
I do.

(Both BRIDE and GROOM walk the paths of the sun and moon [clockwise and anti-clockwise] around the circle, returning to the East)

DRUID:
(GROOM) and (BRIDE) you have walked the Circles of the Sun and Moon, will you now walk together the Circle of Time, travelling through the Elements and the Seasons?

BRIDE and GROOM: We will.

(They Walk hand in hand to South)

CALLER OF THE SOUTH: Will your love survive the harsh fires of change?

BRIDE and GROOM: It will.

CALLER OF THE SOUTH:
Then accept the Blessing of the Element of Fire in this the place of Summer. May your home be filled with warmth.
(Walk together to West)

CALLER OF THE WEST:
Will your love survive the ebb and flow of feeling?

BRIDE and GROOM: It will.

CALLER OF THE WEST:
Then accept the Blessing of the Element of Water in this the place of Autumn. May your life together be filled with love.

(Walk together to North)

CALLER OF THE NORTH: Will your love survive the times of stillness and restriction?

BRIDE and GROOM: It will.

CALLER OF THE NORTH:
Then accept the Blessing of the Element of Earth in this the place of Winter. May your union be strong and fruitful.
(Walk together to East)

CALLER OF THE EAST:
Will your love survive the clear light of Day?

BRIDE and GROOM: It will.

CALLER OF THE EAST:
Then accept the Blessing of the Element of Air in this the Place of Spring. May your marriage be blessed by the Light of every new Dawn.

DRUIDESS: All things in Nature are circular - night becomes day, day becomes night and night becomes day again. The moon waxes and wanes and waxes again. There is Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter and then the Spring returns. These things are part of the Great Mysteries. (GROOM) and (BRIDE), do you bring your symbols of these Great Mysteries of Life?

BRIDE and GROOM: We do.

DRUID:
Then before all present repeat these words.

BRIDE (facing GROOM and handing him the ring):
Accept in freedom this circle of gold as a token of my vows. With it I pledge my love, my strength and my friendship. I bring thee joy now and for ever. I vow upon this Holy Earth that through you I will honour all men.

GROOM (facing BRIDE and handing her the ring):
Accept in freedom this circle of gold as a token of my vows. With it I pledge my love, my strength and my friendship. I bring thee joy now and for ever. I vow in the face of Heaven that through you I will honour all women.

BRIDE:
In the name of Brighid I bring you the warmth of my heart.

(BRIDE is handed a lighted taper by her MOTHER or FEMALE PARTICIPANT)

GROOM: In the name of Aengus mac Og I bring you the light of my love

(GROOM is handed a lighted taper by his FATHER or MALE PARTICIPANT)

BRIDE and GROOM both light a single candle together. (This candle could be kept and relit at each anniversary)

ALL:
May the warmth and the light of your union be blessed.

DRUID:
Do you swear upon the Sword of Justice to keep sacred your vows?

BRIDE and GROOM: We swear.

DRUIDESS:
Then seal your promise with a kiss.

DRUID:
Beneficent Spirits and Souls of our Ancestors, accept the union of your children. Help them, guide them, protect and bless their home and the children born of their union. May their life together reflect the harmony of all life in its perfect union. May they work together in times of ease and times of hardship, knowing that they are truly blessed. From this time forth you walk together along Life's Path; may your way be Blessed.

(BRIDE and GROOM walk together sunwise around the circle to be greeted by each of the PARTICIPANTS, then stand together west of centre)

DRUID: It is the hour of recall. As the fire dies down let it be re-lit in your hearts. May your memories hold what the eye and ear have gained.

DRUIDESS:
We thank the Powers of Love and Peace for their presence within this Sacred Place. Let us offer the words that unite all Druids:
Grant, O God/dess, thy Protection
And in Protection, Strength
And in Strength, Understanding
And in Understanding, Knowledge
And in Knowledge, The Knowledge of Justice
And in the Knowledge of Justice, the Love of it
And in the Love of it, The Love of all Existences
And in the Love of all Existences, the Love of the God/ess and all
Goodness.

DRUID:
Let the spirits of the Four Directions be thanked for their blessings.

CALLER OF THE EAST:
In the name of the hawk of dawn and of the element air, we thank the powers of the East.
CALLER OF THE WEST:
In the name of the salmon of wisdom and the element of water we thank the powers of the West.

CALLER OF THE SOUTH:
In the name of the great stag and of the element of fire, we thank the powers of the South.

CALLER OF THE NORTH:
In the name of the great bear of the starry heavens and of the element of earth, we thank the powers of the North.

DRUID:
May the blessing of the Uncreated One, of her Daughter/his Son The Created Word and of the Spirit that is the Inspirer be always with us. May the world be filled with Harmony and Light.

DRUIDESS:
Let us now form the Three Circles of Existence.

(The married COUPLE hold hands, forming the central circle. The PARTICIPANTS in the OUTER CIRCLE and the HORSESHOE hold hands to form two further circles.)

ALL:
We swear by peace and love to stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand
Mark O Spirit and hear us now
Confirming this our Sacred Vow.

DRUID:
This Sacred Rite of Marriage ends in peace, as in peace it began. Let us withdraw, holding peace and love in our hearts until we meet again.

The DRUID unwinds the circle and exits with DRUIDESS sunwise. GROOM and BRIDE follow. Then the rest of the INNER CIRCLE. Then the OUTER CIRCLE walk across the centre in pairs and out through the western gate.
_____

When Druids, in the old days, had lotsa state power, customs were very different, including "weddings" customs.

The Arkdruid