Where’s Comet Lulin, Now?

I have not espied Comet Lulin since January 12 of the Julian. Yet tomorrow morning, which is January 31 of the Julian, I shall attempt to espy Comet Lulin, again. Barring an erratic departure from its prognosticated orbit, Comet Lulin should be about 1.5 degree east of Nu Librai tomorrow morning at around 5AM. Interesting how Comet Lulin’s orbit, at this time, parallels the ecliptic. Well, I find it interesting.

Also interesting is that Comet Lulin has so far stayed entirely put on page 57 of my personal copy of Pocket Sky Atlas. To me, that is amazing. Yes amazing that a comet’s progress, a comet streaking through the depths of space, hurtling through our miserable solar system, sent perhaps by some merciless space deity to warn us about this or that, may be represented by a pencil mark line on page 57. Yes. Represented by a pencil line more or less in parallel to the ecliptic.

Man! I sure hope I get to espy Comet Lulin when it’s really close to Zubenelgenubi. That potential event is not far off, maybe, a week.

The weather in these parts has been frightful lately, one dry norther after another. Yet, if I had been more round chested than flat chested, I could have personally espied Comet Lulin on either of the previous two mornings which would be the mornings of the Julian, January 29 and 30, inclusive. However, though I was out and about on those two mornings, those mornings were too cold fer me. I got too cold. Besides, the seeing was lousy. For example, on the morning of the 30th I could not espy any of the Leo Triplet convincingly. So since the weather was frightful, plus the seeing was pitiful, I went off to bed instead of waiting up for Comet Lulin.

Later.

This morning is cold, but not bone suckin’ cold.

Comet Lulin looks huge and bright this morning at 5AM, relatively speaking. That’s right, huge and bright in comparison to galaxies, far, far away. The fact is, Lulin is now just barely visible in my trusty 10x binocular and 9x finder. So I feel like Lulin has brightened up since January 12.

A couple of the faint and far away galaxies espied this morning are probably M89 and M100 in Virgo the Virgin. Too faint and far away is M101 in Ursa Major. M101 is, like M33, impossible from here. Also, M98 is impossible.

Ha! I actually attempted to espy NGC 5139 in Centaurus this morning right after I espied Comet Lulin. There is a gap in the trees and buildings to peer through. Yes. I do not have to go out into the light. Trouble is, no galaxy visible. I shall try, try again.

Special Movie Review Edition - Colt 45

Occasionally, Ray, or me, Crumby, espies a movie on TV that is just incredibly exceptional. Such an incredibly exceptional movie is Colt 45. The fact is, Colt 45 is so incredibly exceptional, we were urged by the WG to recommend that everyone, from old people on walkers, down to mere toddlers, gather round the TV to see if Colt 45 is on. If it is on, everyone needs to watch, Colt 45.

Hold it. What’s that Ray?

Ray, my bosom companion just found out that sometimes, the movie, Colt 45, goes under the title, Thundercloud. Chief Thundercloud is one of the characters in the movie, Colt 45, also known as Thundercloud. So if you are fixing to look up Colt 45 to see when it’s on, you may want to also check for Thundercloud, the movie, not Chief Thundercloud, the regular Indian chief character in the movie.

It is easy to see why Colt 45 may have been re-titled, Thundercloud. Easy because, Chief Thundercloud is an omnipotent movie presence. Chief Thundercloud, thanks to Indian magic, knows everything. Compared to all that, the original title, Colt 45, is fairly lame or crippled up.

Also, even if a person is persuaded that Colt 45 is a better title than Thundercloud, the title should be plural, as in Colt 45s. The villain absconds with a pair of Colt 45s. He is a twain gun thief and villain. So the dern title should be Colt 45s. Stupid! Not Colt 45. No wonder the movie moguls eventually changed the title.

Goddess all righty! The movie we are reviewing, whatever it’s called, is perfect in every way. The moral tone, from a Druid perspective, is perfect. Couldn’t be better. The acting is also, perfect. Couldn’t be better. But Ruth Roman, who plays the goddess, is better than perfect. Ruth Roman is acting at 110% or maybe even higher than 110%. There is actually no telling what per cent Ruth Roman is at, acting wise.

Yes. Ruth Roman, in this movie, is pretty and efficient to the max. Yet she cleverly combines the twain traits, pretty and efficient, with that other endearing trait, never minding anybody, ever. Plus, Ruth Roman, locked in a miserable tool shed by her wicked husband, cleverly employs blasting powder to entirely blow up the front of the tool shed. Yes. Ruth Roman escapes the ruins of the tool shed. Then, Ruth Roman gives Randolph Scott a pistol whipping. Then, Ruth Roman gets shot out of the saddle by her wicked husband. Then, Ruth Roman miraculously recovers from her bullet wound thanks to a magic vest provided by Chief Thundercloud.

Oh my Goddess! What a great movie!

Consider

When the truth is found, to be lies, and all the joy, within you, dies

Yes. All the average people, conscious and unconscious, recognized the power of that old spell, sung many moons ago by the euhemeristic goddess, Gracie Slick. Some, perhaps most of the average people, following the good advice, found somebody to love as partial mitigation for all the lies. Yet some still wanted more, like maybe, some nice drugs.

Yes. Nice drugs. Many wanted those. But some still wanted truth. Yet in Republico Americano, truth does not pay the bills. The fact is, truth, unlike drugs, never does an average person much good. Never?

Or actually, truth may do an average person some good. But truth may be anathema to the average Americano way of life. Let’s see. How can this seeming Druid Dichotomy be expressed? Ah, ha. Here we go. Which would you rather be, right, or rich?

Given that bifurcation, an average Druid Ovate, like me, would rather be right. Yes. I would rather be right than rich. But a preference for being right rather than rich is arguably stupid, since being rich solves many more problems than being right. Yes. Being right may only address a single problem while not necessarily solving the problem. While being rich, well, being rich just blows problems away, right or wrong.

Afflicted by the desire to be right, afflicted by rectitude, an average person may seek an alternative to the Americano lifestyle or way of life. Yes. Eschewing riches, an average person may drop out, seeking truth on a full time basis, much like the hermits of old. Or, an average person may seek truth part time, enjoying a hobby.

Yea verily, all righty then! There is more truth to be found in a hobby than in a job. That’s fer sure, ovateth the Druid. Which is precisely why, on this particular day, the Druids celebrate, meteors and meteroites.

The most famous Average Amateur Meteor Authority we know is, Karl the Tracker Druid. Karl is a professional tracker. If you lost it, Karl can find it. But we need to let Karl speak for himself, how he went out searching, professionally, and found a truth fraught hobby. Karl is visiting here at the Cow Barn because Ray lost his billfold or wallet. Here’s Karl.

Well, you know yourselves, Ray and Crumby, that any job or profession has its boring instants or down time. Besides, if you are especially good at your job, you may finish up your daily chores, almost instantaneously, leaving your boss or client to wonder, What the heck am I paying this guy for? So it’s important to look busy on the job.

One day I was sitting in my office, enjoying a rousing game of Pinball Space Cadet, when the phone rang. I deftly hit the speaker phone button. I needed to keep both hands free.

Karl the Tracker Druid speaking, if you lost it, I can find it.

Oh Karl. I have lost my reading glasses. You need to come over and find my glasses. They have lots of sentimental value.

Anon, I was headed over to the paying client’s house. The paying client was a still beautiful old lady. When I arrived, her ample bosoms were heaving. Yes.

After I comforted the client, I began to scout around for the lost reading glasses. As usual, I needed to go slow, because I didn’t want to find the glasses immediately and then have to go back to the office. You guys know yourselves, Ray and Crumby, how annoying it is when the trip to and from the job takes longer than the job.

Anyway, as I was pretending to nose around looking for the glasses, suddenly, without any warning whatever, the whole place blew up. Yes. I was a participant in an explosion. It was terrible. There I was, knocked off my feet, on my butt, in the midst of rubble that only seconds before had been a nice, knickknack filled parlor.

Good Goddess, I exclaimed, that Lazy Boy recliner is in flames. Mercy! The glasses are in the Lazy Boy. Those glasses shall assuredly melt if I don’t take immediate action. Where’s my safety equipment?

Anon, I unpacked my safety equipment that I always take along on all my tracker jobs. Safety always comes first. This time I had to put on my fire retardant cape, my gas mask and my asbestos gloves. Then I had to hook up my water hose. It took a minute to find a faucet that my hose could couple up with. Once I had my hose hooked up, I squirted water on the Lazy Boy. Anon, that particular Lazy Boy was generally put out. Mercy! What a dern mess!

Sure enough, there in the smouldering, soggy remnants of the Lazy Boy, were my clients reading glasses. But there was something else. Good Goddess, what’s that?

Well, Crumby and Ray, turns out the other object besides the reading glasses, ensconced in the ruin of the Lazy Boy, was the first of many meteors I have subsequently collected. You twain ought to come over some time, and see my meteor collection.

Messier Galaxy Update II

Yea verily. We are afflicted with a spate of dry northers. Life as we know it is barely hanging on. Good Goddess All Righty! The flora and fauna of these parts are dead, dormant or in hiding. Look to the heavens, Crumby. Look to the naked heavenly bodies. Yes. Espying those totally nude heavenly bodies, wreathed in pollution, shall keep you in tune with the WG.

Turns out, I am espying more galaxies than I thought possible from this humble yet miserable location. New ones espied are in bold, including two this morning, M61 and M63. Long I searched for those twain.

The galaxies are getting harder and harder to come by. Either they are invisible, really hard to find, or I find them and don't know which ones they are. Duh!

Messier Galaxies:

Spiral:

M31, M51, M58, M61, M63, M64, M65, M66, M77, M81, M83, M94, M95, M96, M99, M104

Lenticular:

M84, M85, M86

Elliptical:

M32, M49, M59, M60, M87, M105

Irregular:

M82

After the Ball, Dern It!

The elderly plus goofy may go along confusedly through life, sure or certain in their mistaken beliefs. Like for example, this morning, as I was out espying the naked heavenly bodies, I sang along happily. What did I sing? Easy that:

♪After the ball is over, after the break of dawn, many a heart is broken, many may feel forlorn♪.

I was pretty sure that’s how the chorus to that particular song went. But of course, those are all the words I knew. So I had to sing those words over and over again.

There was a lot to do. Gracious sakes alive! Moon and Antares are a sight to behold. The fact is, Moon and the whole northern parts of Scorpion are a sight to behold.

♪After the ball is over, after the break of dawn, many a heart is broken, many may feel forlorn ♪.

Also, there is the progress of Comet Lulin to consider. Comet Lulin is making good progress, now located in the general vicinity of Kappa Libra. Is it my imagination, or is Comet Lulin now visible in the finder?

♪After the ball is over, after the break of dawn, many a heart is broken, many may feel forlorn ♪.

Maybe I need to try and take a picture of Moon and Antares together. They are so beautiful.

♪After the ball is over, after the break of dawn, many a heart is broken, many may feel forlorn♪.

I need to check up on Omega Centauri, too.

♪After the ball is over, after the break of dawn, many a heart is broken, many may feel forlorn ♪.

Yepper. There was plenty to do this morning, after the ball. But then I got to thinking, What are the actual words to my Song du Jour?

Hmmm. The lyrics of, After the Ball, are easy to look up. Hmmm. My rendition is not even close. Oh well. The sentiments are approximately the same difference.

Yepper. The sentiments are approximately the same difference. Painfully, I read through the actual lyrics of the entire ballad or song. After the Ball. Good Goddess! How do regular white people think up all this misery? This is the exact same type of misery I have long been subjected too, even as a tiny, defenseless child. Yes. I can easily recall, sitting in an overheated parlor, listening to a similar tale or song of woe, while gazing up at a print of, The End of the Trail. Jeez Louise!


Once I got After the Ball in perspective, I began to reflect on Inauguration Day, recently past. Yes. My morning homage to the naked celestial bodies over, I began to recall all that I had seen on TV yesterday.

Ha! There I was, safe and warm in my trusty Lazy Boy. Boooooooooo! Yep. I booed along with the crowd as Kinglet Bush plus Chitlin and Associates were announced. Yep. Booooooo! Go back to the ROT you jerk! Whoa! No. Don’t come back here. Go to miserable Iraq you asshole.

It’s good that they pre-announce the various activities. Forewarned, I entirely skipped Rev. Rick the Retard. I also skipped most of the poem. I skipped the last half of Aretha finding that style redundant. I skipped almost all the second preacher. But apprised later that he was not quite as retarded as Rev. Rick, I later relented and watched him as a re-run.

I listened to all of President Obama’s speech. Yes. This is the best news I have heard from any president, ever. Not perfect, but the best, ever.

Hey. What about Buddhists? What about all us Pagan Americanos, yearning for a little recognition. Er. Actually, I can’t speak for the Buddhists, or all the pagans, but Druids can live with anonymity, just as President Obama may wish to live without the Druids.

Hocus Pocus on Inauguration Day

On Inauguration Day the heavenly bodies of our solar system shall each be going along in this fashion. Saturn is already up, visible in the early morning sky. Saturn is situated in Leo the Lion. Old school Druids see the early ascendancy of Saturn, that we know as Bran the Blessed, that Old Talking Head, with Leo, the seriously important Lion, as a good omen. Yes. We see Bran and the Lion, two of our most important personages and symbols, peacefully strolling together through the heavens. Yes. There they go. For a change of pace, there is no Sun God hero fixing to attack them.

Not only that, I Crumby Ovate, finally found M95 last night. M95 is the last of the Messier objects I needed to espy in Leo, another good omen or fact of life.

Next comes Moon in Libra. That Moon, the great obvious symbol of the WG is up next, segregating Bran from the Sun God riffraff is also a good omen. Yes Bran, then Moon, the Druids most important personage personifications lead the heavenly parade on Inauguration Day.

It remains to be seen if Moon shall obscure Comet Lulin on the morning of inauguration day. I personally hope not. I would like to espy Moon and Comet Lulin fairly close together tomorrow morning. Chances are, since Moon is a waning crescent at only about 0.27 reflectivity, Moon may not blow Comet Lulin away.

The next quasi-planet roaring along in the general vicinity of the ecliptic on inauguration day is disgraced Pluto. Yes. Pluto has been downgraded. Funny that the disgraced and downgraded Pluto shares Sagittarius with Mars. That’s right, Pluto takes precedence over Mars in Sagittarius on Inauguration Day. Those not initiated into the world of average amateur astronomy, yet desiring to espy Pluto on the morning of inauguration day, need to consider the hurried acquisition of a bunch of expensive optical equipment.

Mars in Sagittarius, on the other hand, may be naked eye visible just before sunrise. Well, Mars, the God of Imperialist Occupations of Defenseless Countries, is bound to be going along somewhere. However, that miserable Pluto is ahead of Mars is seen as a good omen.

Next, up with Sun, that Druids are prone to reference as Ogma Sunface, are Jupiter and Mercury. The Sun, Jupiter and Mercury are all in Capricorn, the Sea Goat. Jupiter, as all but the seriously retarded know, is the biggest planet and the planet with the most easily espied moons. On Inauguration Day, Jupiter shall appear closest to Sun, even closer than the always close, Mercury.

The Sun, Jupiter, Mercury configuration in Capricorn the Sea Goat is probably a bad omen. However, one needs to consider the big picture. So maybe this little detail is not so bad.

Next up is Neptune in Capricorn. Neptune in Capricorn is a sure sign that eventually, President Obama may have to go fishing. Then we shall all be treated to video of President Obama, fishing, or grappling with a fish. This is inevitable and stock stuff for all presidents or kinglets.

Now, at last, along comes Venus in concert with Uranus. Those twain planets, Venus and Uranus, are situated close together in Aquarius. Many may wonder if Venus shall obscure Uranus. The Druids hope so.

All righty then. Those are all the signs, portents, omens and ovations everyone shall need to enjoy a safe and happy Inauguration Day. Praise the Goddess!!!!

Media Liberal and Media Conservative to Broadcast Smirk and Shirk

Merciful Goddess! Please don’t let me accidentally miss the important farewell address on TV tonight. I need, as if my life depends on it, one more time around with the twain demons, Smirk and Shirk.

That’s right. Anybody who aspires to view the twain demons, Smirk and Shirk may espy them for one last time, maybe, on TV tonight. Correct. As anyone with a lick of sense knows, Smirk and Shirk are the twain demons that afflict Kinglet Bush. Hopefully, Smirk and Shirk are lifetime demons and shall go off with Kinglet Bush, wherever he goes. The alternative is that the demons, Smirk and Shirk, shall abandon Kinglet Bush after tonight, and seek out a new host, a better host, a smarter host, a more important host.

Nooooooooooooo! Merciful Goddess! Whoa! What a terrible thought! We can’t let Smirk and Shirk occupy President Elect Obama. Those twain miserable demons need to stay with Kinglet Bush. Jeez Louis!

OK. Here’s a plan of action. All you Americanos, including average Americanos, plus retards and Mammonites, need to pay close attention so we can all, together, save President Elect Obama from the twain demons, Smirk and Shirk. What we need to do, while we are all watching TV together, is focus our common sense on those twain demons. Yes. We shall all focus our common sense on Kinglet Bush and those twain demons that infest Kinglet Bush. But instead of the normal common sense process of casting out the demons, we need to shift that normal common sense process into reverse. Yes. We need to command those demons like this: Hey, you demons, Smirk and Shirk! You twain demons need to stick with Kinglet Bush and not go looking for a new host just because Kinglet Bush is fixing to go live in Dallas. Yes. The common sense of all the Americanos commands you to stay with Kinglet Bush. We command you in Jesus’ name. Amen.

See! To sum up, what we want to accomplish with our common sense is to keep the demons, Smirk and Shirk, occupied with Kinglet Bush. So actually, what we shall attempt while we are all watching TV tonight, together, is like a reverse exorcism on a national scale. Does everybody understand?

Last Night’s Observation Log - O-III Earns Its Keep

Tonight before Moon came up around 9:30 is great. M36 and M37 are visible in the bins. I have never found M37 in the bins before tonight. Dern it to heck, thought Crumby. I need to espy something new. What naked wonder has long lain unseen amid that great charioteer, by me?

I know, IC 2149. I shall try that one. Groan! In this situation, Crumby the ancient and crippled must get down on his knees. Yes. Down on his knees, groveling in the frosty dirt of the frigid winter that Druids reference as the season of the Polar Bear. All that separates Crumby’s crippled knee from the frozen earth is a couple of lawn chair cushions. Yet those lawn chair cushions are weak sisters, skinny, with scant padding.

Jeez Louise! I shall have to take a pain killer to get over this, fer sure, Crumby shouted to the High Heavens. Yes. Crumby had to sit on the cold, cold ground with only his lawn chair cushions for company. Yes. Crumby had also to twist himself around in an awkward position before he could sight through the Rigel. Fortunately, even from the Godessless position Crumby had to assume, Menkalinan was easy to position in the Rigel. Plus, the vicinity of IC 2149 is an easy star hop in the Lomo 10x40 finder. The fact it, it’s not much of a hop. More like a hippity. So getting to the vicinity of IC 2149 is easy.

Trouble is, the Lomo is no 10" Great Red Tube. Aperture, aperture, aperture. Yet tonight, even at about 45x, Crumby could espy that one of those little stars up yonder in the neighborhood of IC 2149 is a fuzzy. Going to about 67x fortified Crumby’s conviction that he might be dealing with a fuzzy. And the O-III confirmed, fuzzy.

But that is that. I shall not sit here on the cold ground, any more, tonight. I am liable to cripple myself even worse if I keep this up. So Crumby reasoned, and that is why about 67x was the highest power employed on IC 2149 tonight. Yet tomorrow night may bring the Great Red Tube into action, maybe.

I need to fluff up my Planetary Nebula list now.

The Rapture, Alas

As anyone with a lick of sense knows, I, Crumby Ovate, have been expending all my extra energy fixing to bring on the rapture. Yes. I undertook this selfless endeavor to help others, mainly President Elect Obama. My thesis was, Wouldn’t it be swell if President Obama could start off his tenure in the White Palace minus all the retards. Then, minus the retards, President Obama would have way less to worry about and could concentrate on getting any Mammonites that didn’t get raptured under control.

However, I spell you now, fixing to bring on the rapture is not as easy as I thought it would be. Plus, I now ovate, It is fixing to look like the rapture may not occur on or before January 18 of the Julian. I know, I know. I have let many down including President Elect Obama, not to mention the retards who were looking forward to imminent rapture.

Here’s why I surmised bringing on the rapture would be fairly easy. The rapture is historically well documented. The rapture is potentially overdue. A great many earnestly desire the rapture. All these great many possess lots of common sense. Common sense is the Americano version of the collective conscious. Collective conscious is a mighty untamed force of nature.

All I needed to do was tame the collective conscious. That’s right, uh, you know. All I needed to do was get the collective conscious a little better organized and focused on the single objective, rapture. Once, I had everything organized on the Earthly end, Jesus would do the rest. Attached is an artistic conception depicting me, Crumby, here on Earth, organizing the collective conscious into lines of force or communication. That’s Jesus off in outer space. Jesus is operating the Deep Space Retard Magnet (DSRM) that shall actually pull the retards into Heaven. The retards going off into space are depicted as capital Rs.

Alas! This artistic conception may not reflect the actual situation on the ground. Apparently some little detail is tripping me up, stalling progress. I am not sure yet, but it may be that the collective conscious, sometimes known as common sense, is too weak. That’s right. The force itself may be too weak and therefore incapable of organization. Or, Jesus may be slacking off on his end. Whichever, there is no way this is totally my fault.

It’s not my fault. But I’m sorry anyway. I feel like I have let President Elect Obama down before he even got situated in the White Palace. However, there is always hope. Yes, the hope is that Reverend Rick or maybe an Episcopalian shall rapture the retards on inauguration day. Mercy! Praise the Goddess.

Comet Lulin Makes Progress

That’s correct. Comet Lulin has forged ahead. Comet Lulin has passed through a celestial gate or between a celestial goalpost comprised of 47 and 45 Libra. This morning, Comet Lulin is keeping company with a 9th or 10th magnitude star, west of 47Libra. Comet Lulin seems to be following the trajectory indicated by cometchasing.skyhound.com very closely. Close enough for government work.

I wish I could comment on the brightness of Comet Lulin relative to the other morning, but I can’t. That’s because Moon was up and very bright this time as opposed to last time. Plus, I employed the Lomo this time rather than the Great Red Tube. Still, Comet Lulin does not show up in the excellent Lomo 40mm finder or in the equally excellent 10x42 Superior Elite bin. So I reckon an average amateur astronomer in these parts still needs a telescope, or a big and cheap bin, to espy Comet Lulin.

However, Comet Lulin may be showing some elongation. Seems like there was elongation away from that little star discussed briefly in the first paragraph at about 110x.

Yes. Moon had the scenery lit up this morning even at 6AM. Briefly I considered the cultural option, nude average amateur astronomy. But the police in these parts are alert to such antics. Those police might have espied a nude average amateur astronomer exposed by the Moonlight almost immediately. Besides, there was plenty of whore, I mean, hoar, frost located on the miserable dessicate herbs. Yes. Those herbs were frozen over with hoar frost. So for those two reasons I rejected the cultural option, nude average amateur astronomy.

Another naked celestial body besides Comet Lulin I wished to espy this morning is Omega Centauri. This morning was only the second time I have knowingly espied Omega Centauri. Omega Centauri is easy to espy in a bin amid the tree branches off south these days. Which condition makes me wonder, Crumby you might need to espy NGC 5128, the great yet mysterious galaxy located north of Omega Centauri. I bet you need to try for that one.

Turns out, NGC 5128 may be possible in the Great Red Tube by about the 22nd of the Julian. Yet on the morning of the 21st of the Julian, at around 6 AM, Moon is fixing to occlude Antares. I need to be front and center for that occultation, fer sure, conditions permitting.

Tom Friedman, Newt Gingrich, Peggy Noonan, and George Will

There they were, all featured on the same TV program. Is this an example of the Media Liberal, or what?

Brings to mind, peas in a pod. Reminds that, the ruling class is out of ideas. Remember, inertia and the Kinglet Bush legacy. Here we go, forward, with all the shit swept under a mighty lumpy rug.

Yes. The recent history of Americano Land is like a house featuring naughty pets and throw rugs. Each time a naughty pet or Kinglet goes in the house, the poop gets swept under a rug. That’s why the rugs are lumpy.

No wonder, the foursome featured on the TV are gloating. Yes. Happily for them, the shit shall be swept under the rug, again. Onward. Forward. Watch yer step!

Let’s play, survival of the fattest. Yes. Since Americano Land is out of ideas, national decision making should be the exclusive property of our fattest ideologues. Given the subset of ideologues on TV this morning, Newt has the best ideas with Tom Friedman, a close second. There is no point considering the so-called ideas of Peggy Noonan and George Will. They aren’t fat enough.

Er! This ovation is brought to the non-reading public by an increasingly skeptical Crumby Ovate. And to think, I took the trouble to vote.

Moon is Bright and Up All Night

For the next little while, Moon shall be mostly nocturnal and of such and such a phase that Moon is easily conspicuous in the night sky. Chances are, even high octane retards chancing out at night may notice Moon.

Yet the average amateur astronomer may cast a baleful eye at Moon. Yes. There Moon is. Moon is overwhelming the pitiful lights of lots of the other Naked Celestial Bodies. That is correct. Moonlight is so bright that the weak sisters dim, dim to invisibility when Moon is big and bright.

Not only that, Moon may be so big and bright that even Moon’s tiny craters are a chore to espy in the tremendous glare. That’s why average amateur astronomers may eschew those nights when Moon is big and bright. Yes. Many average amateur astronomers may stay in the house watching TV with their loved ones when Moon is big and bright.

On the other hand, when Moon is big and bright, hard it is for evil doers to sneak up on an average amateur astronomy like me. Yes. Moon makes it easy to espy those evil doers. In the Moonlight, those evil doers cast long shadows, depending on the Moon’s declination. Correct. The lower Moon, the longer the evil doer shadow.

A category of evil doer in these parts is the white-tailed deer (Odocoileus virginiana), also known as hoof rat. In these parts, hoof rats grow to tremendous size. Yes. They get big and fat from the free lunches that many provide. The males of the species sport great racks of horns with upwards of a score of points per rack. What terrible shadows those terrible racks of horns may cast in the Moonlight as herds of those ferocious great ungulates disport along, capering this way and that, running and jumping, making mockery over the miserable chain link fence.

Mercy! Plus those monsters are audible. That’s right. Those monstrous hoof rats make great snorting or perhaps whoofing noises. There they are. There is a vast herd of those hoof rats just over yonder, their hideous shadows blending in with shadows cast by the leafless shrubbery. Yes. Those hoof rats have stripped the leaves off my shrubbery leaving only gnawed twigs. There those hoof rats are. Detectable by the whoofing. Yes whoofing. Those whoofs mean they are working up the courage to attack. Yes. Those hoof rats are fixing to attack. First, they shall try to scratch me up with those racks of a score plus pointy horns. Then, once they have me scratched up and off balance, they shall bowl me over. Once I am on the ground and nearly helpless, they shall trample me into the dust.

There I was in a hopeless situation, totally surrounded by whoofing ungulates, their many pointy horns fixing to tickle my ribs. Their clovenless hooves about to trample me into the dust. Conventional wisdom allows that when one is attacked by hoof rats, one should play dead, like an opossum (Didelphis virginiana). And even though a Druid Ovate like me does not specialize in shape shifting, obviously I need to play dead. Anon, those ferocious hoof rats were surprised to espy, not Crumby Ovate, prostrate at their feet, but a nice tasty possum, garnished with cabbage and crab apples, simmering in a pewter serving dish.

That guise or ruse saved me. Anyone with a lick of sense knows that hoof rats don’t like cooked possum. There they go, whoofing confusedly, running and jumping, willy-nilly. Now I shall get back to average amateur astronomy at last.

Victory!

How long Goddess? How much longer must I suffer?

Not much longer, Crumby. But you have a few more tribulations to endure before you espy that comet. Then, once those tribulations are history, you shall happily espy that comet.

This morning Goddess, I may espy Comet Lulin this morning?

Yes Crumby. You shall espy the comet this morning. But first you must surmount the tribulations.

Thus assured by the Blessed WG that I was fixing to get to espy Comet Lulin this very morning I headed out. The skies were clear but Moon was still up. Yes. The Moon was still up and pretty dang conspicuous. My first tribulation was to kill time until Moon went down.

I know Crumby. Let’s check out the Sunflower Galaxy. It’s always invisible. So the fact that the Moon is up won’t make any difference. So that’s what we did, search for the Sunflower Galaxy while Moon gradually descended. Sure enough, the Sunflower Galaxy remained consistently invisible, Moon or no Moon.

OK. Next let’s check out the mostly invisible M61. Wait a minute! What’s the matter with the dang Rigel? Mercy! While fixing to hone in on barely naked eye 16 Virgo, a necessary hop to M61, Crumby noticed that the Rigel Quickfinder was bobbing. Dern it! The miserable tape has come loose again.

It was true. The two-sided tape had come loose from the distal end of the Great Red Tube. When Crumby attempted to adjust the Rigel, the whole Rigel apparatus bobbed in response to Crumby’s manly twisting of one of the several adjustment screws.

Ironic isn’t it. The two-sided Rigel tape never comes loose on the Lomos, but comes loose on the Great Red Tube when afflicted with either low or high temperatures. This is precisely why average amateur astronomy shall remain a solitary pursuit for Crumby Ovate. Yes. Equipment malfunctions are justification enough. No star parties, fer me, fer me, fer meeeeeeeeeeee!

All righty then. I shall not fix to fix the Rigel in the dark. We shall continue with no Rigel.

Sadly and half-heartedly Crumby attempted a few star hops employing only the finder for guidance. But once an average amateur astronomer has a nice Rigel, then when suddenly that Rigel is subtracted from life’s mix, life as we know it is just not the same. No. Life as we know it becomes increasingly miserable, sans Rigel.

Great! Now I am fixing to have to look for that dern comet with no Rigel. Life as I know it is totally unfair, thought Crumby. But then Crumby remembered the ovation of the Blessed WG. Yes Crumby. You shall espy the comet this morning. But first you must surmount the tribulations.

Hmm. The dearth of my Rigel must be one of the tribulations, thought Crumby, along with cold feet. Hark! Lookee yonder! Is that not bright Antares upon the far horizon? Yes. There is my pal of old, bright Antares, heart of the Scorpion.

The sight of bright Antares fired Crumby up. Yes. The recently despondent Ovate shook loose from a lifetime of regret. Ha! Now I shall espy that comet, despite the treachery of my Rigel. Despite that both my star charts have incredibly annoying page breaks at the juncture of Scorpius and Libra. Despite cold feet. Despite Moon. Despite light pollution. Despite the miserably invisible Sunflower Galaxy. Despite my entering 47 Libra as 46 Libra in a previous blog entry that I had to correct. Ha! Now we shall see!!!!

Turns out, Comet Lulin is a little fuzzball, about three or four times the diameter of 47 Libra, just a smidgen east and very, very, very close to 47 Libra this morning. Observed at 40x, 60x and about 130x, Comet Lulin appears as a tailless little fuzzball. The time of observation is about 5:55 AM until about 6:30 AM. Three big coyote yips for Comet Lulin. Yip! Yip! Yip!

Stupidly, yesterday morning, Crumby was expecting a big bright Comet Holmes like comet. Maybe later.

Comet Lulin Update!

Filled with hope and Chock Full O’ Nuts, I headed out. It was 2:30 AM. The Moon shone brightly. I needed to put a tree trunk between the Moon and the Great Red Tube. Easy that.

There I was. At first the cold is bracing or invigorating. Then once an average amateur astronomer sits for awhile, the cold is cold. Brrrrr! Yet again I forgot to wear two pairs of socks and sensible shoes as opposed to one pair of socks and deck shoes. So after fooling around in Ursa Major for awhile, I had to go put some more clothes on my feet.

There is no urgency until Moon goes down. Finally Moon went down. After Moon went down I was able to determine that M101 is totally invisible. That took awhile. Then, just for the heck of it, I also determined that M109 is also completely invisible. However, M51 is barely visible, yet suffers no magnification. I may espy M51 in the 30mm Ultima, but not the 20mm TV. Weird!


Lots of time passed during these observations. As usual, naked objects in the Big Bear proved elusive or invisible. So I decided to try Leo the Lion. To check on seeing conditions I quickly determined that M65 and M66 were visible. However, NGC 3628 is not visible. I interpreted this information to mean that seeing was about as good as it gets in these parts.

Having determined that seeing was fairly OK, I set out to find the rest of the Messier naked objects in Leo the Lion. The various parts of Leo are, by this time, situated so that his head is facing west and his butt is facing east. Rho Leo, Leo’s tummy star, is naked eye, a mercy.

53 and 52 Leo almost fit in the finder. All the naked Messier objects lie between these twain stars. Going north from 53 I soon espy a fuzzy. But alas, I am not sure which fuzzy. Going up some more I soon espy two fuzzies very close together near a bright star. I need another fuzzy. Alas. There is no other fuzzy.

Twice more I discern the original fuzzy and the close together fuzzies. But there is no other fuzzy to be espied. Dern it! The two close together fuzzies near the bright star have to be M105 and associate. But what’s the other one? I am of the opinion that the other one is M96. Oh well. Try, try again.

It may be darkest before the dawn. Unlikely that. It may be coldest before the dawn.

By 5 AM, Zuben El Genubi and Zuben Esch Amali are glowing feebly in the horizon murk. Anon, Graffias and associates of the long invisible Scorpion appear. Yes. The Scorpion is back.

Naturally I needed to look for Comet Lulin. Comet Lulin should be just east of 47 Libra. But Comet Lulin is invisible. Dern it. I really do not understand how come Comet Lulin is invisible this morning. Yet Comet Lulin is totally invisible in binocular, finder and scope. But I shall find out why Comet Lulin is invisible. Oh yes. I shall find out.

Now I am fixing to be grumpy the rest of the day.

Dew Shield

Depicted is a dew shield for the Lomo 133.5mm. That’s right. The dew shield is a one gallon plastic pot with the bottom cut off. There is also a slit cut out that accommodates the Rigel Quickfinder mount. The only problem is, this one gallon may be a little short. But maybe not. Whether or not it is too short needs to be determined experimentally.

Man alive! I was out the other night. The dew afflicted me. But I did not realize that dew was afflicting me. No. I did not notice the dew. Instead, I figured the telescope was messed up. Yes. I could espy pretty well with low power eps, but as I attempted to use higher power eps, the images degraded significantly.

Dern it! This telescope is broke, Crumby, I shouted out. In disgust I was fixing to put on the front cover when I noticed the dew on the front lens. Crumby, this telescope needs a dew shield, I shouted.

Eventually, I surmised that a one gallon bucket might work. It stays on well. But it may be just a hair short. We shall see, anon.

Big and Cheap

Earlier I reported that EBAY featured a 15x80 binocular for 60 bucks. That was the biggest, cheapest binocular on EBAY then. But now, EBAY features a 20x80 binocular for 50 bucks, a new, big and cheap, champeen. Surely, this is the biggest cheapest binocular in the whole, wide world. And the world's biggest and cheapest binocular is used by SWAT teams everywhere!

Comet Alert!

Whoa! I have just found out about another comet headed this way. That’s right. I may be fixing to, Goddess Allowing, espy a second comet. The new comet headed this way is C/2007 N3, also known as Lulin. If I espy Lulin, Lulin shall be the second comet I have knowingly espied, ever. The other one was the famous Comet Holmes.

Turns out, Comet Lulin is zooming from Scorpius into Libra this very month and may brighten up to naked eye visibility, anon. Great! Not only shall there be another nice comet visible, but it shall render Libra, a boring constellation, temporarily interesting.

Libra is a boring constellation? Yes. From the vantage of the Cow Barn, Libra is plenty boring. Although, Alpha Libra, is also known as Zuben El Genubi. That sounds like Obie Wan Kenobi. So does Beta Libra, Zuben Esch Amali. Plus, Zuben El Genubi is practically on top of the ecliptic. So Libra is, for the average amateur astronomer, slightly interesting, maybe.

There is a Magnitude 10 globular in Libra that might be visible in the sky over the Cow Barn if I had a big yet cheap 90x400 binocular mounted on a construction crane. Also, there is an easy double star, Σ1962, which is characterized by Burnham as, neat. Burnham is usually reliable. I better checkout Σ1962 after I get tired of Comet Lulin.

Now, the question remains, Are the eastern parts of Libra fixing to be far enough ahead of Ogma Sunface to allow an average amateur astronomer in these parts to espy Comet Lulin when the clouds next part in a couple of days, maybe? I suspect that around 5 AM most of Libra shall just be visible Wednesday, maybe. But all that must be determined experimentally.

According to cometchasing.skyhound.com, Comet Lulin should pass very close to 47 Libra between 1/5 and 1/7 of the Julian. It should pass just south of 47 Libra so I need to look west of Graffias between 47 Libra, a 6th magnitude tight double and 45 Lambda, 5th magnitude. Comet Lulin should be the brightest object in close proximity to 47 Libra. All three of these naked objects should be easy in the finder and the 10x42 bins.

Visual Magnitude

Recently, despite everything, I have felt optimistic enough to do some shopping. That’s right. I decided I may require a cheap yet big binocular. To find out about cheap yet big binoculars, I visited Cloudy Nights which site features Binocular Articles. One of the articles, General Binocular Recommendations for Astronomy, caught my eyeballs. Anon, however, the article sidetracked me from my mission. Here’s how that happened.

How many stars can you see in the Little Dipper? That’s a question posed in that article. Whoa! The Little Dipper!!!! On a good night I can make out Polaris, that Druids often reference as Polar Bear, or, Our Friendly Guide Star. Then, when the Little Dipper is pointed south, I may on a good night espy two more, the twain at the far end of the dipper. Extrapolating, this means that the sky over the Cow Barn off toward the north horizon is Visual Magnitude 3 and a little bit. Uh! Visual Magnitude 3 may not be very good.

Because most of the Little Dipper was not available yesterday evening, I checked out the approximately 3.5 or so Visual Magnitude hypothesis on Eta, and Zeta the kids, Auriga. Eta at 3.17 is fairly easy. Zeta, at 3.75 is barely visible sometimes. This holds true when Capella is at about 45 degrees and emerging from the Highway 290 murk. Some night I may need to check and see if I can espy any Magnitude 4 stars, straight overhead. In any event, the skies over these parts are not generally much better than Visual Magnitude 3.5, fer me, fer me, fer meeeeeee! Dang it!

So what magnitude of star might I espy, theoretically, with a hand held binocular. First I need to subtract two full magnitudes to account for my miserable 3.5 sky. Then I need to subtract another full magnitude for hand holding. That means, to espy a mere Mag 10 star I would require a 30x120 binocular with Atlas mount and tripod.

Yes. I was sidetracked from finding out which binoculars met my requirements, big and cheap, by the unrelated topic, visual magnitude. If I had let myself, I could have been further sidetracked by the topic, What is my inter-pupilary (sic) distance (IPD)?, and/or What is the diameter of my pupil in the dark? Not pupils, pupil. Seems like if you took the trouble to measure the diameter of your pupil in the dark, you should probably do both of them.

Is a narrow IPD, like eyebrows that grow together, indicative of retardation? Certainly, if one’s pupils are too close together, so close that no known binocular can be squeezed down to so narrow a gap, one might conclude, retardation. See, hopelessly sidetracked. And these issues raised by that cruel article are merely a trifle of the total. Mercy!

Yes. Mercy! I might have been sidetracked into never purchasing, much less spying through, a big yet cheap binocular due to all the questions raised in that article. OK. So I have a question of my own. What is the biggest, cheapest binocular there is? Well, on EBAY a 15x80 binocular is advertised for 60 bucks. That’s plenty big and cheap. The price also includes a sturdy tripod adapter. Almost, almost, almost, I would pay 60 bucks just to spy through the advertised, once.

Chances are, that particular EBAY binocular is too big and too cheap. OK. I have arbitraily decided to purchase an 11x70 binocular for 140 bucks. Yes. I shall help out the miserable, starving, communist Chinese by purchasing a big and cheap communist Chinese binocular.

Here’s what I plan to do with my big, cheap commie binocular. Once it arrives I shall check it out. If we can espy the ring around Uranus, we are good to go. Then once we are good to go, we are fixing to head on out in a great gas-guzzling vehicle. Off we shall go. During the daytime, we shall drive, drive, drive. Yet at night we shall search for that mythical dark sky. Yes. That mythical dark sky that may boast M33. Once we have espied M33, and maybe another naked object or two, we shall return to the Cow Barn by the shortest route, stopping only at night.

When and if I am safely home at the Cow Barn, I may decide to sell my Mensheviki binocular. The ad shall read, This is a great binocular. I have espied M33 in this binocular and the ring around Uranus.