Crumby and Ray Discuss Current Events

I don't know Ray. I just woke up in my orgone box with this lump on my head. Rayetta may have conked me out. That's all I can remember about yesterday. Wait a minute. I do remember something else. One of Hope's competitors on one of the Mammonite TV networks spelled this query, "What is the common sense wisdom on Capitol Hill regarding the failure of the immigration bill?" Boy howdy. US culture is on the ropes. A knockout is anon when some knucklehead can spell that on the TV as part and parcel of her job.

Calm down Crumby. And stop hollering. You'll have Rayetta down on you again.

No, Ray, I won't. That situation with the new camera is resolved via divine intervention. My new lady friend, the Goddess of Telephone Help Lines, has come to the rescue. She shall protect me so long as I can come up with the measly sum of 180 bucks, eventually. I just need to find a one day Republican ecology job to take care of all that. Then, Rayetta and I shall be square again on the new camera. Praise the Goddess!!!!

Crumby! Yer hollering again. I'm rye-cheer. No need to holler like that. Tell you what. Let's look at a spurge picture. Would like to see a nice spurge?

Yepper Ray. I am especially fond of spurges. Did ye find spurges, west of the Pecos, Ray?

Certainly, Crumby, certainly. Let's have a look see.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Lepiotes

Nothing but blue skies, smiling on me
Nothing but blue skies, do I see

Mmmm-boy. That cinnamon bun was delicious. But I wonder if these are delicious. I also wonder, how many times I could eat these, and live.

Dang it! These fungi are multi-shroomed from the stem, veritably rhizomatous. Interesting. The multi-shroomed should be safe to eat. But before I was fixing to eat them all up, I took off a cap to make a spore print, yesterday . Guess what? No spores on the spore print today. So these are perfectly safe to eat, maybe. That’s right. If your mushroom leaves no spores on the spore print, that mushroom is perfectly safe and delicious, maybe.

Er. These fungi also came in with the wretched Valburn dirt, maybe. Either that, or their spores were on the posts used to contain the Valburn dirt. Those posts also came from foreign parts. Well, these are Lepiotaceae. I can eat them, or not. Praise the Goddess for delicious cinnamon buns.

Crumby in the Orgone Box

Jeez Louise! Waves are lapping at my orgone box. I must be adrift on a great sea or ocean, or a large lake, maybe. How did I get here? Whoa! Why hello young lady. How did you come to also occupy my orgone box which is apparently adrift, but fortuitously, water tight?

Hello Crumby. I am the Goddess of Telephone Help Lines. My job is to help you determine the various fates of all your digital appliances. Now Crumby, I understand that you appealed directly to the WG regarding your new camera. That’s why I am with you at this nonce in your orgone box. The WG ordered me to visit with you personally about your new camera.

Uh. Then you are not here to enjoy sexual intercourse with me.

No! This is strictly business Crumby. Whatever gave you such a notion? I do not enjoy sexual intercourse with the customers.

Right. That figures.

Good. Now that we have all that straight, how did you break your camera, Crumby?

I stuck my finger in it and the mirror popped out.

Hmmm. So the electrified, digital components of the camera were not damaged when you stuck your finger in the camera?

Beats me. The mirror popped out, though. I don’t think I poked anything else inside there. I didn’t get shocked.

So, as far as you know Crumby, the damage you inflicted on your new camera is limited to a mechanical component?

Yepper.

Now Crumby, in your appeal to the WG, you asserted that the cost of the repair required to fix your camera would lead a Rayetta to kill you or hurt you beyond your endurance. Is that correct?

Yepper.

Has this Rayetta killed you or hurt you, yet?

Uh. Maybe. My noggin hurts. Yep. I have a terrible lump on my noggin.

Hmmm. Well then Crumby, perhaps you have suffered enough. Tell you what. How would you like it if I discounted the repair cost of your new camera to about $180?

That would be swell. Can you do that?

Course I can? I’m the Goddess of Telephone Help Lines. Besides, otherwise your new camera might wind up in a landfill taking up space, eventually, leaking toxic chemicals into the ground water and hastening the Great Titration.

Mercy! Ok. I shall take the discount, all righty then.

Good. Now one more thing Crumby. In a civil society there are rules. One of those rules is, everyone is supposed to go through the chain of command. So from now on, Crumby, when you break one of your digital appliances, remember to call me first, instead of the WG. Do you understand all that, Crumby?

Yepper.

Good. So that’s all settled. Bye Crumby. Click.

Whoa! Where’d she go?

Where is the Quicker Camera?

Crumby, I thought you said the quicker camera was fixing to get back to the CB fixed. Where is it?

What?

Crumby Ovate, don’t you be evasive with me. Where’s my camera?

What? I can see your lips moving Rayetta, but apparently my ears have quit working again. Did you say, where’s the hammer? Lomo, or Lleu Llaw, maybe, has the hammer. All righty then. Er. Help! Somebody help me, Rayetta is hexing me. Rayetta is using the evil eye on me. Help! Help!

Why you little pipsqueak of an ovate. Stop that hollering right this second.

Help! Help! Rayetta is fixing to kill me. Rayetta’s gone crazy. I’m innocent. Help!

Thunk!

There now. That’s better. Hmmm. Yoohoo. Olwen dear, could you come to the lab and give me a hand with Crumby?

I’m coming Rayetta. Gracious sakes, what was that resounding thunk? Is Crumby OK? Why’s he stretched out like that? Is Crumby playing possum?

Crumby was having a panic attack, so I had to smack Crumby on his noggin with this skillet. Come on, help me tote Crumby to his orgone box. Get his feet.

Gracious sakes Rayetta. He’s out cold.

Course he is. Hmmm. Change of plans. Olwen dear, if you don’t mind, drag Crumby out into the dusty hallway. Then go find some of the boys. They can tote Crumby off to his orgone box. Drag him all the way out. I need to shut the door.

All righty then.

There now. Let’s just detect what that Crumby Ovate has been up to. What’s this, a letter from the camera repair outfit? Three hundred and eighteen dollars to fix my camera? Yikes! Hold it. Crumby has spelled an ovation on the letter. Hmmm.

Rayetta is going to kill me. Please, Merciful Goddess, I am a hapless Druid worn out in yer service. Please, please don’t let Rayetta kill me or hurt me, beyond my endurance. Please, please, please. Mercy!!!! It’s not my fault.

All righty then. Crumby is crazy, but his ovations do not suffer as a consequence of the craziness. This ovation is right on. Yet I foretell, Crumby is fixing to be gainfully employed again, crazy or not. Surely, somebody in these parts hires the crazy. Yepper, I shall soon have Crumby a new job. Then, once Crumby has a new job, I shall dock his wages to pay for fixing my camera

Ray's Rainfall Update - Not for Ladies and Children

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Pistol packin' pooters pack them pistols round
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Pistol packin' pooters, pistol cracks resound

Stop that Ray!

All righty then. So much for acapello, canary-like song. Some will complain about everything. But not me. My Sun God training prohibits excessive whining or complaining. So let's move along to the all important rainfall update. We have, 28.92" + 0.70" = 29.62", on this, Day 187 of DY 1. Praise the Goddess! And that's just so far today. There could be more rain, on the way.

Did you know that in a civil society there are supposed to be laws that everyone obeys? Not that everyone does obey every law all the time in a civil society, but mostly, everyone does, more or less. However, as many, break more and more laws, more and more often, the society becomes less civil. For example, our miserable Iraqi colony is not an especially civil society. That's because lots of the miserable Iraqis don't like having our laws imposed on them. But also, the miserable Iraqis know, just like most of US know, that Chitlin and Associates, plus the Kinglet, are crooks.

Many years ago a similar situation erupted west of the Pecos. At that time, west of the Pecos, the only civilized inhabitants were the Pistol Packin' Pooters (PPPs). The PPPs lived happy, carefree lives. Travel from mesa to mesa was accomplished easily because the Pistol Packin' Pooters had the ability to retain gas. After awhile, the great pressure of the gas, expelled all at once, allowed for the jet-like propulsion of a PPP. So basically, all your average PPP ever did was jet propel himself or herself from one feeding location to the next. Then, once that location was et up, it would be time to jet propel off to another location. Occasionally though, twain or more of the PPPs would take time out to fornicate.

Yepper, those were good times for the happy, carefree PPPs. But then along came a very naughty PPP. That naughty one was named Roy. One day, almost by accident, Roy, propelled himself into an interesting habitat. In that habitat was a plant new to Roy. "Er", thought Roy, "I wonder if I can eat this?" But Roy was very hungry so eventually he decided, "Sure, I can eat this at least once." So Roy ate and ate until he was plumb full. Ummmm. Those are delicious. I shall call those delicious items, beans." That's how Roy got his surname.

Pretty soon Roy noticed that he was gasing up faster than usual. "It must be those beans gasing me up faster than usual." Then, when Roy committed to a flattulence, off he zoomed, faster and further than ever before.

But Roy had a naughty streak plus two names. So Roy got to thinking, "How should I, Roy Bean, take advantage of this situation, which may seem like accidental good fortune to many, but obviously, was pre-ordained, just for me, Roy Bean." Roy thought and thought. "OK, I am the only one that knows beans, and I am the most jet-propelled of any PPP that ever was, and I have two names. So I shall make up some laws. Then everyone of these miserable PPPs shall know me as Roy Bean, the law west of the Pecos. Hold it. First off I need a bean monopoly, and a law to protect all my beans from those evil potential bean rustlers. Then I can dole out my beans a few at a time to my trustworthy lackeys and syncophants. All those boot licker lackey and syncophant PPPs shall be eternally greatful once they get a bean or two under their belts. Then, once those bootlickers are trained up posse-like, I shall have my posse enforce my bean monopoly. Ha, I shall judge who gets beans and who does not. Hold it! Judge! Whoa! I shall be Judge Roy Bean, the law west of the Pecos."

But how did Judge Roy Bean, the law west of the Pecos, come to be known also as the Hanging Judge? Well, that's a tail, I mean tale, for another day.

Draft List of the Cow Barn (CB) Flora (Magnoliophyta)

The Cow Barn, just like everywhere else except the middle of Death Valley, maybe, is located where one biome or whatever, merges into another one. To the immediate west, there are hills, to the immediate east, the terrain is more level. Nearby, there are river terraces, both current and relatively ancient. Most of all this is covered up with humanoid works and structures. Therefore, the flora at the CB is doubtless influenced by all the previous.

In Ray's checklist, below, an asterisk indicates that the species was absent from the Cow Barn, but has subsequently come to be at the Cow Barn abetted by a Cow Barn denizen and/or the Druidry in these parts, or another motile agent acting as a vector. Non-native species, which comprised most of the Magnoliophyta at the Cow Barn prior to our migration to the Cow Barn, are most of the ones subject to "eradication pressure", or they are native and we have something against them. Plants that we tried to introduce against their will are generally identified as (deceased or a synonym thereof).

As hinted at above, the important pre-Druid vegetation at the CB included King Ranch bluestem (Bothriochloa ischaemum) and bermudagrass (Cynodon dactylon). These days, these central Texas dominants are rare at the CB.

Hmmm. A quick look at Ray’s handy work below indicates that Ray could not decide, in some instances, what is a herb, and what is a shrub, or what is a vine and what is a herb. Oh well!

Apparently also, Ray has eschewed common names, possibly because they annoy him, but also because he is lazy. Hmmm. Ray has made little effort to update scientific names. Oh well, again. Those proposed name changes arrive at a blistering pace anyway. Only the salaried, keep up.

Dr. Rayetta Pistrum (LDR)


________________

ferns

Thelypteris kunthii

graminoids

Andropogon gerardii *
Andropogon glomeratus *
Andropogon ternarius* (a sand lover that persisted only briefly at the CB)
Aristida purpurea
Bothriochloa barbinodos (we may have introduced this one accidentally, or, it may have been here along)
Bothriochloa ischaemum (a dominant species, formerly, but no longer well-represented, however, one must be constantly alert for re-infestations by this worst of all herbaceous invasives)
Bothriochloa laguroides
Bouteloua curtipendula *
Bouteloua hirsuta *
Bouteloua rigidiseta *
Bouteloua trifida
Brachiaria fasciculata
Bromus japonicus (subject to extreme eradication pressure)
Bromus uniloides (subject to extreme eradication pressure)
Buchloe dactyloides - native and introduced “Prairie” cultivar * (the cultivars are mostly worthless, except the sod is an aid in )
Catapodium rigidum
Cenchrus incertus - (a bar ditch species at the CB, casual eradication pressure)
Chasmanthium latifolium *
Choris verticillata - a great short grass at the CB
Coelorachis cylindrica * this one comes and goes
Cynodon dactylon (subject to extreme eradication pressure)
Dichanthelium oligosanthes *
Digitaria ciliaris
Echinochloa colona
Elymus canandensis
Elymus virginicus
Eragrostis barrelieri - introduced weed of the bar ditch, casual eradication pressure)
Eragrostis intermedia
Eragrostis secundiflora
Eragrostis sessilspica
Eragrostis spectabilis *
Eriochloa contracta
Eriochloa sericea *
Hilaria belangeri *
Hordeum pusillum - a good competitor versus the invasive annual bromes
Leptochloa dubia * - this one comes and goes
Limnodea arkansana - another good competitor versus the invasive annual bromes
Lolium perenne
Muhlenbergia capillaris*
Muhlenbergia lindheimeri *
Panicum capillare
Panicum hallii*
Panicum obtusum *
Panicum virgatum *
Paspalum dilitatum - (subject to extreme eradication pressure)
Paspalum pubiflorum
Poa annua
Poa arachnifera*
Schizachyrium scoparium *
Sorghastrum nutans *
Sorghum halapense (subject to extreme eradication pressure)
Sporobolous asper
Sporobolous vaginiflora
Stenotaphrum secundatum (the matrix grass around human structures, we are punching holes in it to make room for other stuff)
Stipa leucotricha
Tridens buckleyanus* (transplanted but failed)
Tridens flavus *
Tridens muticus *
Tripsacum dactyloides *
Urochloa fasciculata
Vulpia octoflora

sedges

Carex brittoniana*
Carex blanda*
Carex bulbostylis *
Carex cherokeensis *
Carex microdonta *
Carex muhlenbergia var. enermis, (maybe)
Carex sp.
Cyperus alternifolius (eradicated)
Cyperus ochraceus*
Cyperus retroflexus
Cyperus rotundus


herbs and forbs

Abutilon incanum
Acalypha lindheimeri - (now termed A. phleoides, maybe)
Acalypha ostryifolia
Achillea millefolium *
Agalinis heterophylla
Allium canadense*
Allium drummondii*
Allowissadula holosericea*
Amaranthus albus
Ambrosia cumanensis (psilostachya)
Ambrosia trifida
Anemone heterophylla
Arenaria benthamii
Argythamnia humilis
Argythamia mercurialina* (transplanted but failed to take)
Asclepias oenotherioides
Asclepias tuberosa * (this one failed and should not be introduced on clay soils)
Asparagus officinalis -(persistent old garden crop)
Aster ericoides*
Aster patens*
Aster subulatus
Aster oblongifolius
Aster sp.
Bifora americana*
Boerhavia coccinea
Bouchetia erecta *
Brazoria scutellarioides *
Callirhoe involucrata*
Calyophus drummondianus *
Calyptocarpus vialis
Capsella bursa-pastoris (under modest eradication pressure)
Capsicum annuum
Castilleja indivisa - (does not persist due to deer herbivory)
Castilleja purpurea - (ditto, must exclose)
Centaurea americana*
Centaurea melitensis - ( a nasty introduced thistle found in all the commercial seed mixes, bar ditch inhabitant under extreme eradication pressure)
Centaurium texense
Cerastium glomeratus - (under moderate eradication pressure)
Chamaesyce angusta - (arrived in the Valburn dirt)
Chamaesyce maculata
Chamaesyce nutans
Chamaesyce villifera - ( also arrived in the Valburn dirt)
Chenopodium ambrosioides - (epazote, a recent introduction from seed)
Chenopdium album - (maybe)
Cirsium ochrocentrum* (I need to check this one when it blooms again to be sure, whut it is)
Cirsium texanum*
Clematis drummondii
Clematis pitcheri *
Commelina erecta
Cooperia drummondii*
Cooperia pedunculata*
Convolvulus equitans
Conyza canadensis
Croton capitatus* - ( a sand lover persisting on the silt of the old septic field)
Croton monanthogynous
Cymopterus macrorhizous* - (barely still with us)
Cynanchum unifarium
Daucus pusillus
Datura wrightii * - (comes and goes, but needs lots of help)
Delphinium carolinianum* (deer eat these up like candy so they must be re-introduced or exclosed)
Desmanthus velutinus
Dichondra carolinensis
Dicliptera brachiata*
Draba cuneifolia _ (arrived in the Valburn dirt)
Echinacea cultivar * - (these purple cone flowers do not persist at the CB)
Engelmania pinnatifida*
Eryngium leavenworthii* (came in with sod from wherever the sod came from)
Erigeron modestus* - (also, some new ones arrived with the Valburn dirt)
Erythrina herbacea*
Eupatorium greggii * - (all the Eupsy daisys are excellent for bugs)
Eupatorium incarnatum*
Eupatorium serotinum*
Euphorbia cyathophora
Euphorbia spathulata
Eustoma grandiflora* - (has been present on occasion, but does not persist)
Evax verna
Evolvulus nutallianus* - (introduced but failed to take)
Evolvulus sericeus
Facelis retusa - (goofy non-native lawn weed)
Gaillardia pulchella *
Galium aparine (under extreme eradication pressure)
Galium texense - ( came with the Valburn dirt)
Galium virgatum - (an annoying little native)
Gamochaeta falcata
Gaura drummondii
Gilia rigidula * - (can’t keep it going for some unknown reason)
Gutierrezia dracunculoides
Hedeoma acinioides *
Hedeoma drummondii *
Hedyotis crassifolia
Hedyotis nigricans*
Helianthus annus*
Helianthus maximiliana*
Heliotropium tenellum *
Hybanthus verticillatus
Hymenoxys linearifolia* (arrived in the Valburn dirt)
Hymenoxys scaposa* (somewhat indifferently persistent)
Hymenopappus tenuifolius*
Ipheion uniflorum (South American, tiny bulb plant that seems totally innocuous)
Ipomoea quamoclit * -(deceased from unknown causality)
Ipomoea trichocarpa
Ipomopsis rubra* - ( needs to be periodically reintroduced on disturbed soil))
Jacquemontia tamnifolia* - (introduced from material collected in La, 2000, none survived 2001)
Justicia runyonii*
Kallstroemia parviflora - (comes and goes in the formerly cultivated area)
Krameria lanceolata *
Krigia sp.
Lactuca ludoviciana
Lactuca serriola
Lamium amplexicaule - (under casual eradication pressure)
Liatris mucronata*
Lindheimera texana*
Lupinus texensis*
Marshallia caespitosa - (appeared recently during Hope Remains, the season, DY 1)
Maurandya antirhinniflora - (arrived with the Valburn dirt)
Malvastrum aurantiacum - (endemic to Texas, maybe)
Matelea biflora * (apparently not present at this nonce)
Medicago lupulina - (all these Medicagos are mat forming nuisances)
Medicago minima - (the worst of the lot, almost wiped out)
Medicago polymorpha (extinct at the CB)
Melilotus indicus - (tolerated due to low frequency of occurrence)
Mimosa strigillosa* (came with buffalograss prairie cultivar, maybe, a welcome addition)
Monarda citriodora
Muscari neglectum
Nemophila phacelioides*
Neptunea lutea
Nothoscordum bivalve*
Nyctaginia capitata * - (deceased by the deer)
Oenothera laciniata
Oenothera speciosa
Oenothera missouriensis* (may be deceased, deer eat it, exclosure required)
Onosmodium bejariense*
Oxalis dillenii
Oxalis drummondii*
Papaver somniferum* (deceased, arrived in the bar ditch but did not persist)
Parietaria pennsylvanica
Parthenium hysterophorus
Passiflora foetida *
Penstemon cobaea*
Penstemon guadalupensis* (deceased by the deer)
Penstemon triflorus* - (deceased by the deer)
Phacelia congesta* - (arrived with the Valburn dirt)
Phlox drummondii* - ( did not persist)
Phlox pilosa * - (did not persist)
Phlox roemeriana* (ditto, the Phloxes seem poorly suited to the CB parts)
Phyla nodiflora - (very popular with butterflies)
Physostegia correllii - (goodness)
Plantago rhodosperma
Polytaenia texana

Pyrrhopapus multicaulis
Ranunculus fascicularis*
Ranunculus macranthus*
Rhodofilia bifida - (these are the great Confederate or oxblood lilies from S.A.)
Rhynchosia minima - (a troubling native vine, but good for some baby skippers)
Ricina communis * (deceased by freezing)
Ratibida columnifera
Rivina humilis
Ruellia brittoniana*(deceased by extreme eradication pressure)
Ruellia drummondiana*
Ruellia nudiflora
Rudbeckia hirta *
Sagina decumbens
Salvia azurea*
Salvia coccinea *
Salvia farinacea *
Salvia roemeriana *
Salvia texana *
Sanicula canadensis*
Schoenocaulon texanum*
Schrankia roemeriana*
Senecio obovatus*
Sherardia arvensis (recent introduction to the bar ditch, so it needs periodic eradication)
Sida abutifolia
Silene antirrhina (another rhino repellent)
Silphium laciniatum*
Scutellaria drummondii
Scutellaria wrightii* (this one has died off from the unfamiliar habitat at the CB)
Simsia calva* (comes and goes)
Sisyrinchium ensigerum* - (probably introduced accidentally with Andropogon gerardii)
Sisyrinchium minus
Sisyrinchium pruinosum
Solanum americanum
Solanum elaegnifolium
Solidago canadensis
Sonchus asper - (airborne seeds, we are constantly alert)
Sonchus oleracea - (ditto)
Spermolepis inermis - (great for baby swallowtail butterflies)
Stellaria media (under moderate eradication pressure)
Streptanthus bracteatus* (arrived in the Valburn dirt, but the seedlings always get eaten right away)
Taraxacum officinale -(eaten by us)
Thelesperma filifolium*
Torilis arvensis - (all Torilis must be wiped clean)
Torilis nodosus- (ditto)
Tradescantia humilis*
Tradescantia sp.*
Tragia brevispica
Triodanis coloradoensis - (came with the Valburn dirt)
Triodanis perfoliata
Valerianella amarella *
Valerianella radiata
Verbena bipinnatifida
Verbena canescens
Verbena halei
Verbesia virginica*
Vernonia baldwinii*
Veronica arvensis
Veronica peregrina
Vicia ludoviciana
Vicia sativa (about the worst introduced weed on the place)
Viguera dentata* (also, some more came with the Valburn dirt)
Wedelia (Zexmenia) hispida*


Perennial vines

Antigonon leptopus * (deceased from freezing)
Campsis (Bignonia) radicans
Capsicum annuum
Clematis drummondii
Clematis pitcheri*
Cissus incisa
Cocculus carolina
Gelsemium sempervirens*
Lonicera japonica (under extreme eradication pressure)
Lonicera sempervirens *
Parthenocissus quinquefolia
Passiflora foetida*
Rubus cultivar (has a disease so its going to get deceased eventually)
Rubus trivialis
Smilax bona-nox - (subject to modest control measures)
Toxicodendron radicans - (ditto)
Vitis mustangensis
Vitis cultivar



Shrubs

Anisicanthus wrightii*
Caesalpinia from Mejico?*
Callicarpa americana* (both purple and white)
Clematis drummondii
Croton fruticulosus* (the hard frosts seem to kill this one)
Foresteria pubescens
Hamelia patens* (man, are these water hogs)
Hypericum cultivar* (this one has been here for ten years and finally bloomed once, this year)
Ilex decidua *
Ilex vomitoria *
Lantana camara *
Lantana horrida
Leucophyllum frutescens*
Malpighia glabra* (hard freezes shall eventually kill this one, unless we stop having hard freezes)
Malvaviscus arboreus **
Modiola caroliniana*
Myrica cerifiera * (surprisingly, ours died from the lack of rainfall two summers hence)
Pavonia lasiopetala *
Phoradendron tomentosum - (the state flower of Oklahoma, fruits are symbols for an important Druidic mystery)
Photinia sp. - (eradicated)
Phyllanthus polygonoides - (a tiny shrub)
Pistacia texense *
Prunus minutiflora* - (trying to introduce this was an especially dumb idea, it all died immediately)
Rhamnus caroliniana*
Rhus aromatica*
Rhus lanceolata*
Salvia regla* - (These age fast and need to replaced every few years)
Salvia ballotaeflora * (this looks like S. ballotaeflora but is not, it is Mejican)
Salvia greggii*
Schaefferia cuneifolia*
Sophora affinis*
Sophora secundiflora *
Symphoricarpus orbiculatus*
Tecoma stans* - (the crumby one with fat leaflets)
Tillandsia recurvata - (an arboreal shrublet)
Zanthoxylum hirsutum

Trees

Acer negundo
Aesculus arguta*
Aesculus pavia* - (goes deciduous in July, so is annoying most of the year)
Bauhinia lunarioides ?
Bumelia lanuginosa
Carya illinoiensis
Celtis laevigata
Cercis canadensis
Eysenhardtia texana
Ficus cultivar
Lagerstroemia indica (an introduced Asian that is tolerated mostly against my will)
Fraxinus pennsylvanica
Fraxinus texana*
Liquidambar styraciflua - (volunteers were killed by the heat and lack of rain last year)
Melia azedarach - (eradicated but seedlings come in from the neighbors)
Morus rubra
Morus microphylla*
Parkinsonia aculeata - (seeds get in the bar ditch producing saplings)
Prosopsis glandulosa (under casual eradication pressure)
Prunus mexicana*
Prunus cultivars *
Ptelea trifoliata
Sapium sebiferum (one huge very troubling one)
Tilia caroliniana *
Ungnadia speciosa*
Quercus buckleyi
Quercus macrocarpa* - (saplings from squirrel toted acorns)
Quercus virginiana
Quercus sp. - (a mainly Mejican oak now socked in the nursery trade)
Taxodium distichium*
Ulmus crassifolia
Zanthoxylum sp.*
____

The end, if there are ends, instead of circles, which is unlikely. Anyway, I need to keep working on this because I have forgotten to include lots, maybe. Hic haec hoc. I can park this puppy rye-cheer handy. Then, when I remember something, I shall edit it. Plus, I can recheck the spellings.

Ray Pistrum
Sun God Trainee

The Pictured Grasshopper

The Pictured Grasshopper is a shit kicker. That's right. The Pictured Grasshopper poots out a nugget of pay dirt and then kicks that pay dirt nugget at its tormentor. Shit kicking is the defense mechanism of the Pictured Grasshopper.

This Pictured Grasshopper got cornered anyway. This one is fixing to get eaten up by a relatively huge anthropoid. Mercy!

This Pictured Grasshopper shows off why it needs to be a shit kicker, sartorial splendor. Yep, if you go around in those duds, west of the Pecos, you need to be a shit kicker.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Can your find the grasshopper?

No tricks here brothers ah, sisters ah. The grasshopper is in focus.

I, Ray, had to take a little busman's holiday, scouting out new potential habitats for the CB. In these cruel times, a disguise can come in handy, especially west of the Pecos. Yepper, that's me, Ray, disguised as a limestone inhabiting grasshopper just west of the Pecos. In that particular disguise, there is no way those pistol packin' pooters could espy me, before I, espied them.

In those parts, barely west of the Pecos, many yearn for the late Judge Bean. Many cry out wistfully, When shall Judge Roy return? The general assumption is that Judge Roy could think up better slogans than "Check the date, love your state!", and thereby re-invigorate regional color, and culture. Plus, Judge Roy would keep everyone safer. Soon after his return, all the pistol packin' pooters shall be shut up or plugged up behind bars in terrible dingy jails with naught but true bugs for company. The aroma of poots mixed with true bug odor will permeate those terrible jail cells. After awhile, even those hardened pooters shall await hanging with favorable disposal. But never mind all that.

Goddess all righty! Now it is time for the all important rainfall update. Since the last all important rainfall update, the rain total has perked on up. So, 28.72" + 1.10" = 29.82".

Many may surmise, relying on hearsay, that everybody in these parts has drowned. However, all the recent drownings were localized events. But you potential migrants to these parts might consider, besides concealed hand guns and purified bottled water, an inflatable raft as essential survival gear. Float around, don't drown.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Rainfall Update

Goddess all righty! The gauge collected 0.32" yesterday. So, 28.42" + 0.32" = 28.72". Praise the Goddess! That is the total for Day 186 of DY 1.

For US, money is it. Money is the big deal. Money is everything. The profit motive drives US. No wonder then, that some of US are sticking it out in the miserable Iraqi colony. There's money in sticking it, big money. Your money if you pay taxes. But whom, among US gets the money? Ha! Answer that and ye shall know the constituency whooping up the continuing miserable Iraq colonization.

What is the profit potential in the miserable Iraqi colony, long term? Pretty good. General Principle informs that securing colonies can take ten years, or even longer. Then, after ten years, or even longer, the colony may not be all that secure. In fact, the imperial colonizer may lose the colony entirely, after ten years, or even longer.

But that's OK for those who make lotsa money, working to insure the colonial dream comes true, or not. Doesn't matter to them. So long as they get paid.

Consider this. A warrior can make more money working as a mercenary than as a warrior enlisted among the forces of US. Yet the money the warrior gets paid, comes from US. So, the more mercenaries, the more outgoing tax dollars, and the more per warrior, too. How about that?

Imperialism may be an expensive proposition for the many, but a windfall for the few. That is one reason imperialism is not hugely popular among US, generally. And also why, imperialism needs to be exclusively, privately financed.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Some Flies Like to Get Their Pictures Taken

That's why they sit still. All righty then. I now have pretty good pictures of four different robber fly species habitating at the CB. I may have to break down and figure out what they are. Meantime, outside, the rain, rains. A rainfall update shall be upcoming, anon. Also, my cinnanmon bun was delicious. Also, all the ingredients of my upcoming thistle patch are collected. Crumby and me just need to figure out where to put in the thistle patch.

Here's the caterpillar picture Crumby wanted to show Rayetta. Variegated fritillary on Hybanthus verticillata. Note the clubbed distal portion of the antenna.

Rayetta's Immediately Post Summer Solstice Butterfly Report

Jeez Louise, Ray. Quit it. Quit messing with me. I need to finish this up before Rayetta arrives.

Well hurry it up Crumby. She’s a comin’. I can hear my sister giving some orders right outside the lab. So ye better hurry on up.

Dang it!. Hold it. There now. I have incontrovertible evidence that Rayetta’s baby butterflies are eating up the Hybanthus verticillata, too. Wait ‘til Rayetta sees this!

Hello Boys.

Hello Lovely Druidess Rayetta. Check this out Rayetta. This is incontrovertible

Not now Crumby. I have important work to do. Matter of fact, you two need to clear on out of here. Ray, there is a scarlet fly pollinating the Cynanchum unifarium. So got out to the east pasture. You can gawk at a scarlet fly. Take Crumby with you. Both of you can gawk at a scarlet fly.

Rayetta, is the scarlet fly as big as the head of a handsome Irishman?

No Ray. It is not quite that big. But it is sort of scarlet. Now take off.

But Rayetta

Beat it, Crumby. Hmmm. There they go at last, the bosom companions are off to find the scarlet fly. All righty then. I have lots to catch up on. Right now, at this very nonce, a tousand or maybe two tousand butterflies are habitating at the CB. Or maybe more than that, if one counts the caterpillars. The most conspicuous and numerous ones are, border patch, tawny emperor, hackberry emperor, question mark, Tejan crescent and Phaon crescent. Besides these, there are a bunch more, but they are not as common as these, even though many of them are conspicuous. Then too, some of this latter group are quite common, but not conspicuous. I would include most of the skippers in this last group. Savvy!

So I have updated the CB butterfly presence notes. Now it is time for a new CB-BDS presentation. Here’s our first documented Eufala skipper (Lerodea eufala), top


and bottom.

And here’s a better picture of our second silver-spotted skipper (Epargyreus clarus). Actually, it could be the same silver-spotted skipper as before. It likes to ovaposit on the grapes.

The New Camera is Making Progress

Yepper, the new camera has been to California twice in three months. It is out in California at this very nonce. Of course, Rayetta is giving me a hard time about that particular new camera because that new camera keeps breaking itself at inopportune instances when I am using it and Rayetta isn't. So Rayetta says, Crumby, you need to check up on the new camera. Call up where it is visiting to discover the status of that new camera. Goodness. For all you know, Crumby, that new camera may be lost in the mail, astray from its intended destination. Crumby did you remember to insure the new camera for its journey?

Yepper, Rayetta is an endless source of good advice. Eventually, a man of action like me can only take so much good advice before taking some action. Do something, even if it's wrong, Crumby.

But Rayetta, today is a holiday. The new camera repair service out in California is most likely unmanned, due to the holiday.

Don't try your highjinks on me, Crumby Ovate. These days, all but the truly pious labor, even on the high holidays. Call them up.

But Rayetta, I am truly pious and I do observe the high holidays. Plus calling them up seems much like work, fer me. Why should I have to work?

Hmmm. Crumby, you broke the new camera, again. Therefore, calling them up on a high holiday is your payback for breaking the new camera, again.

Mercy! So yesterday, even on Summer Solstice, I had to call up the new camera repair service out in California, push all the right buttons, plus have my call monitored.

Eventually, This is the New Camera Repair Service out in California, How may I help you?

I mailed off my new camera to y'all last week and I was wondering if my camera had arrived, yet.

What is your last name and zip code sir?

Ovate, O-v-a-t-e, at xxxxx.

Please hold Mr. Ovate while I go check on your new camera.

In a surprisingly short while the cheerful yet efficient lady was back on the line.

Mr. Ovate, your camera arrived yesterday and shall be mailed back to you tomorrow.

It will? But I stuck my finger in it and knocked the mirror plumb loose.

Well that's OK, Mr. Ovate. That mirror must not have been attached very well. Anyway, they shall send it back to you tomorrow.

So it's already fixed?

No, not yet. But they say it shall be fixed and mailed out tomorrow.

All righty then.

Is there anything else, Mr. Ovate?

Nope. Thank you. Bye.

Goodbye, Mr. Ovate.

Ha! This news shall please Rayetta. Now, also perhaps, Rayetta shall appreciate that the mirror on that new camera was not glued in properly in the first place. Ha! I am entirely innocent of poking that mirror with my finger. We shall soon see what Rayetta has to say to that.

Guess what Rayetta, the cheerful yet efficient and pretty young lady at the new camera repair service says the new camera shall be mailed back, fixed, tomorrow. Plus, she says that mirror was probably loose in the first place.

Hmmm. Crumby, did you phone flirt?

No, no, no, Rayetta. I was strictly business like.

All righty then, Crumby. By the way, Crumby, Lomo and Lometa, our darling proto humans, have set up a trapeze out in the pecan orchard. But, of course, the old camera is too slow to document their act.

Yepper. Well, we can still go watch. All righty then?

Ray''s Thought for the Day -Happy Summer Solstice!!!! + Rainfall Update

Yes. Tis true. Despite everything our tiny globe has traversed the stygian darkness half way around Ogma Sunface again. Yes. Tis true. DY 1 is half spent. Yet there is still half the DY 1 journey left to go. Yes. Tis true. I have to work at this venue while everyone else is on holiday.

Goddess all righty, though. If we know you and like you, have a happy plus safe, summer solstice. Otherwise, I could care less what happens to you today or any other day. Unless you are an evil doer. In that event, evil doer, I certainly commend you to misery and suffering not only today, but for all eternity.

So the rainfall update is 28.02" + 0.40" = 28.42". Praise the Goddess!

Oh look. I have visitors. Why it is my two beautiful girlfriends and my beautiful sister. Hello ladies. What brings you from the festivities to this humble venue?

We brought you some ice cream, pork rinds and Dolmen Stout, Ray.

All righty then! Where are all these treats?

Behind our backs Ray. You have to guess who has what.

Dad gum it. No, I don't want to play. Just gimme my treats.

No Ray, you have to guess or you won't get any.

Dang it. All righty then, Olwen has the ice cream, Rayetta has the Dolmen and Hope has the pork rinds.

Ha! Totally wrong Ray. We bear good tidings, but no treats. Yet, you may go and get your favorite treats at this very nonce. In fact, we have come to tell you that the venue is cancelled at this same very nonce for the holiday. Red spells that you are to join in the festivities. Plus, it is time for the Mammonite baby fire toss. You always like that activity. So spell off.

Yippee! That's all folks.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Rainfall Update Plus Beetle Dovers

Praise the WG! It is time for another rainfall update. So, 27.42" + 0.60" = 28.02"on Day 182 of DY 1. Goddess all righty! As long as there is plenty of rain on the watershed, the watershed shall probably not resemble the miserable Iraqi colony.

Troubled by the general ignorance of beetles apparent at the CB we aspired to acquire the famous beetle Dovers that feature a great many of the beetles of eastern North America north of the Rio Grande. However, the beetle Dovers are out of print. Plus, used beetle Dovers are hard to come by. Nevertheless, we have acquired the twain beetle Dovers on loan. The temporary presence of the beetle Dovers at the CB account for how come we are identifying some of the CB beetles to genus these days, maybe. But I hasten to add, we are only identifying them from pictures as opposed to identifying crucified beetles.

Crucified beetles are too much work. Once there was this beetle. This particular beetle had bad luck. The bad luck included habitating in a film canister stuck in the back recesses of an icebox freezer for a couple of months. But then the luck of the unlucky beetle changed just after that beetle was crucified on a pin and stuck in a collection box. For, lo and behold, that beetle was OK. What that beetle did was work itself down on the pin until it could get some foot traction. Then, once that beetle had foot traction, all it had to do was wander around in the collection box eating up all the other specimens.

That beetle was hard work. As a reward for the hard work, that beetle got turned loose.

Common Sense Versus Collective Consciousness

If you have made any progress in your Druid training, you know that appeals to your common sense are ridiculous. Plus, you also know that those appeals are made by liars with ulterior motives for appealing to your common sense. Yet, common sense is naught but collective consciousness, bowdlerized, ensnaring the noggin work of the ignorant and vulgar. So next time you espy or otherwise detect the spell, common sense, substitute collective consciousness. Once you do that, you shall always laugh merrily at the spell, common sense.

Ha! If there is such as collective consciousness, what the dang heck is it? Easy that, collective consciousness is just the noggin work of life. Hark! Do you believe much of your noggin work may be identically duplicated by a monkey in the woods and vice versa? Use your collective consciousness to answer that question.

Night Time at the Banana - Crumby's Turn - Genus Clytus

The darkness was stygian. Yet, out I was fixing to head into that very stygian darkness. Lo and behold, all that stygian darkness had a surprise coming. Yepper. After a diligent search I located my froggy-went-a-courting head lamp. The stygian darkness is no match for that particular head lamp once the dang thing gets switched on. There's a big knob on that head lamp that needs to be switched on before the stygian darkness may be pierced.

With my froggy-went-a-courting head lamp fixed upon my noggin, plus Ray's foretelling that there might be fornicators on the banana in my noggin, I was almost ready to head out into the stygian darkness. But safety comes first. So I took a swig or two of Mary the Virgin's Nerve Tonic to counteract any effects espying the fornicators might have on me. That particular nerve tonic is pretty good once you develop a taste, fer it.

Off I went. Anon, after a terrible journey frought with great peril, the banana feeder hove into view. There it was, crawling with vermin. Good Goddess, please don't let them vermin be fornicating on the banana, I implored.

The Merciful Goddess was with me at that nonce. None of the vermin were fornicating. Yet, there sat a dang wasp on the banana. How can this be? Wasps are diurnal vermin. But once I got over my shock of espying a diurnal vermin on the banana in the stygian darkness as revealed by my trusty froggy-went-a-courting head lamp, the Goddess made apparent the true Order of that particular wasp like creature. It was a beetle, and I had mistaken its dang huge femoras fer wings. Goddess all righty!

Genus Clytus maybe. The June bug is included for scale.

Skeletonizers

Yep. Look what Rayetta's butterflies are up to. More and more I am sure, maybe, these particular vermin are baby border patch (Chlosyne lacinia) caterpillars. Not only are they eating up the Helianthus annua, now they are starting in on the Verbesina virginica. This bunch, not long ago were eggs. They probably have not molted yet, even once. Look at them go. When they are little like this, they operate as a herd. That's why they are bunched up. Later on, they spread out some.

This bunch shall completely skeletonize that great big leaf in a tousand or maybe two tousand shakes of a lamb's tail. Mercy!

The Quicker Camera

Shall our Kinglet be ready fer the great global titration
When those poisonous fumes come rolling bye (buy, buy)
Shall he do some more hard work, shall he shirk, shall he smirk
Shall he be ready fer the great global titration

Crumby. I am fit to be tied. Check this out.

Mercy, Rayetta. What the dang heck is that?

Well Crumby, that may be a new butterfly documented for the CB, our first long-tailed skipper ever for the CB-BDS. But that butterfly would not hold still even for an instant. She was ovipositing on the snout beans, zipping around like crazy.

Er, she was on the snout beans, eh, Rayetta.

Yes Crumby, the snout beans. Don’t get me aggravated, Crumby. You know what I mean, snout beans. Anyway, she would not hold still so I began to take random shots of her general location. And this one is the best I could do, although one of the other shots may indicate the presence of a wing. So Crumby, is this what I deserve? Is this what I deserve because you broke the quicker camera? That quicker camera might have allowed me to capture the industrious lady skipper in focus. But, of course, that camera is broken, again, and on its way to California, again.

Yepper.

Is that all you have to say for yourself, Crumby?

Yepper.

Hmmm. Typical. A typically inconsiderate response totally lacking in consideration for the feelings of others. All righty then for you Crumby. If that quicker camera is not back at the CB, fixed, pretty soon, you shall get another job. Then, you can buy me a new camera to replace the one you broke. Do you understand all that, Crumby?

Yepper.

Hmmm.

Crumby, Ecologer Mode - Flora Snobbery Plus Big or Ugly

Shall ye be ready when the great titrations handy
ye'll need crackers, silver tape plus wottled boter
Yepper ye'll need all of those plus a clothespin fer yer nose
Shall ye be ready when the great titrations handy

Red also ovates,

Ye might also need a can or two of potted meat plus a hard hat and a day glow safety vest, maybe.

Alas, the most common of the actual Asclepias habitating in these parts of the Republic of Tejas may be too big or ugly for toleration. Yet considered from a broad perspective, the perspective the WG employs, (huh-huh, the WG is a tolerant broad), those most common Asclepias in these parts may be useful and very interesting.

Previously in this venue we have discovered how useful is big Antelope's horns (Asclepias asperula) if you happen to be one of the littler butterflies. Alas and alack, no Antelope's horns are extant at the CB. But that sad fact could change, anon, if Red decides to stick it out at the CB as opposed to moving to foreign parts. But never mind all that.

We do have one actual Asclepias at the CB. The one we do have is hierba de zizotes (Asclepias oenotherioides). If any among the living, or yea verily, even among the talkative that are themselves elsewhere or dead, know what a zizotes is, wise me up. But never mind that for the nonce.

Hold it. All of a sudden I am deeply troubled by zizotes. You know. I bet some satirical botanist made that name up long ago just to see how often that name would be spelled without explanation in the literature. For example, rye-cheer in the CB lab we have a great many botanical tomes. Considering all these tomes, only Mr. Irwin plus Ms. Wills, in their slim volume, refrain from spelling zizotes. Yet none of those other tomes, wise me up. What's zizotes, Baggins? Jeez Louise! That satirical botanist may be having a good laugh at my expense. Dang it.

All righty then. I need to go get in the orgone box for awhile.

Later.

All righty then. Back to hierba de whatever. The hierba de whatever habitating at the CB, in addition to being good for their own sakes,are good for tiny black ants. In addition, the hierba de whatever are equally as interesting as all the other Asclepiadaceae.

Crumby, Ecologer Mode - Ignorance is Ignorance

Dang it. Before I completed my Druid training I was afflicted by flora snobbery. Flora snobbery is surmising that a floristic element is no account just because that particular floral element is butt common. Yet that floral element may be butt common just because it is highly valued by some few, or even by, many.

Yepper, back when I was ignorant, I was prone to pull up Tejas dandelions (Pyrrhopappus multicaulis) by the roots. I figured I had too much of it. What replaced the ones I pulled up. Easy that, ragweed. Right on that account, my action was sufficiently ignorant to justify a session of wet rope whupin'. But that's not all. One day I was fixing to pull up a dandelion when I noticed this little bee on it. Then, as I espied that little bee. The Great Goddess called me to an epiphany. The WG allowed,

Crumby, you are an ignorant little busy body, because you never noticed that little bee which hardly pollinates any other flower except Tejas dandelion. Have you, Crumby, seen this little bee anywhere else?

Good Goddess! You are correct. I have been an evil, ignorant little busy body up to no good. Mercy! Can you, merciful Goddess in All your many Iterations, plus these little bees, no less the Tejas dandeloins, ever see it in your hearts to have mercy on me?

Maybe Crumby. But only if you leave the Tejas dandelions alone. Do you promise to stop messing with them?

Yes Maam.

Since then I have never messed with a Tejas dandelion except accidentally. Plus, almost daily I try to help them. Since I have been a good boy instead of an ignoramus, the little bees have come back to the CB. So the WG granted me a picture of a little bee on its favorite floral element.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Rainfall Update Plus Stygian Banana

Goddess All Righty! I shall be worn to a frazzle from emptying out the gauge. Or maybe I shall get tendonitis, much like those lovers swaying beneath the lindens. Yet the new total is, 26.93" + 0.49" = 27.42".

Stygian Banana

Mercy! Recently, events transpired so that my turn came around to do the nocturnal check of Rayetta's banana feeder. Fortunately, as events unfolded or turned out, it was me that did the check, on that stygian night, not my bosom companion, Crumby. Because when Crumby espies sexual acts in association with food, he has a panic attack. Just espying a bride feeding a groom wedding cake on TV may set Crumby off. So there is no telling what may have transpired had Crumby espied this horrific scene of decadent fornication on the banana. Those two, going at it like rabbits, may be Elaphidion incertum. The male, longer antennae, is on top. Those click beetles Melanotus fissilis maybe, are focused in on the delicious banana. And those moths, or muths, are studiously ignoring the fornicators.

Ray’s Thought for the Day - Rainfall Update Plus, Crazy

O, my cinnamon bun is delicious
Also maybe nutritious
Little dog want a little bit mo
Gimme mo, gimme mo, gimme mo.

Dogs are interesting because dogs seldom save up anything except old bones and the occasional biscuit. Plus, a dog is really sad when the leftover pork chop gets put in the ice box.

Don’t put that pork chop in there. I could eat that pork chop right now.

Goddess All Righty! The rain has fallen into the gauge yet again. The new total is 26.93" + 0.59" = 27.53" on Day 178 of DY 1. This year is shaping up to be the wettest year in the annals of recent Druid calendar use.

Crazy

Yepper de do dah. There are a great many jobs or professions that many of US can’t or won’t do. Why can’t or won’t we do those jobs? Easy that, many of US are crazy. Yepper de do dah. There is lots of statistical evidence to suggest that the only reason a person can’t or won’t do a job or profession is due to that person being crazy. Consider my bosom companion, Crumby. Crumby wants to work, but he’s crazy.

Because many of US can’t or won’t work, the ruling class is desperate for the commodity, labor. So the ruling class has desperately outsourced jobs and professions all over the globe, trying to assemble all the sufficient labor needed for all the projects that need undertaking. One of those projects that needs undertaking is the general contracting job of stabilizing the violence in our miserable Iraqi colony. Keeping the violence going at a steady, stable pace is hard work. So the ruling class has outsourced lots of those type jobs or professional positions because most of US are too crazy to do those jobs, much less the professional positions, which both require hard work.

In the good old imperialist days, stabilizing the violence type labor jobs or professional positions had the Job Title, Mercenary. In these good new imperialist days, the Job Title is, General Services Contractor (GSC). But Mercenary and GSC are the same difference. Because many of US are too crazy, most of the GSC jobs or professional positions go to foreigners.

A big qualifier for GSC is, Willingness to drive a great vehicle over a bomb. If you are not willing to do that, you are too crazy to be a GSC. Driving a great vehicle over a bomb is hard work. So the ruling class has a pay conundrum to consider. Generally, the harder the work, the less the ruling class pays for that work. But to attract workers that may be able to operate a great vehicle by themselves, the ruling class has to pay that worker some kind of wage, the lower the better, of course. So to offset the potentially high cost of labor, the ruling class relies on US to pay the GSCs. Thus, the perfect ruling class solution to the cost of labor conundrum is, taxes.

Many may espy the upcoming contradiction that some reference as a Druid Dichotomy. As the proportion of US that are too crazy to work, and therefore, too crazy to pay taxes, increases, the ruling class must discover alternative funding sources for all those many undertaking projects. Which would you rather have, ruling class, US too crazy to work, or a fair, flat tax on the foreigners?

Easy that, those foreigners need to pay for getting their violence stabilized. And once the global fair flat tax is up and running, all of US can go crazy.

Footnote: Follow the money trail. Who benefits from globalized stable violence? Who, among US, are globally competitive? What, products and services, do our most competitive global companies, provide?

Mercy.

Ecologer Mode - Chlosyne lacinia

Ere ye ready fer the coming great titration
when there's scanty oxygen to breathe
Ye shall fall upon yer knees as yer snotty nostrils wheeze
Ere ye ready fer the coming great titration

You are correct Crumby. This orgone box works wonders. I have forgotten all about that miserable banana thief, nearly. And now, as that miserable banana thief suffers all the torments the Blessed Goddess especially devises for banana gluttons, I feel super better.

That's good Rayetta. Hey Rayetta. Some of your caterpillars are eating up the Helianthus annua as if the great titration is at hand. Since we have plenty of H. annua to spare, I am not concerned about the balance yet, but those caterpillars are cutting a wide swath. They may need thinning out, anon.

Hmmm. OK. We should check them out. Assist me out of the orgone box, Crumby.

All righty then. Whoa! You sure are getting to be a big girl, Rayetta.

What did you spell, Crumby?

Er, nothing Rayetta. Here we go. Ooooof. There now, you are out of the orgone box at last, all refreshed.

Yes, I am. OK. We shall now get to work on the depradators.

Yepper. Here's an example of what those rascals are up to. Rayetta.

Goodness.





And here's a close-up of their shenanigans.

Goodness. But see how pretty they are.






And here's the suspected ovapositor or one of its close kin.

Mercy! That is Chlosyne lacinia, one of my personal favorites, Crumby. Are you sure those caterpillars are coincidental with this butterfly.

Noper Rayetta. I am not sure. But I am pretty sure. For one thing, the marvelous variability of these caterpillars may be a reflection of the polymorphism of the adults, even so, right here in these narrowly confined CB parts.

Goodness. Well Crumby, don't thin them out until you are certain. Matter of fact, don't them them out period until we consult on this topic again, anon. And if there is plenty of H. annua, don't them thin them out at all, ever.

All righty then, Rayetta.

Ray's Thought for the Day - Rainfall Update

A little rain shower dumped 0.28" in the gauge yesterday evening. So the new, all important total is, 26.65" + 0.28" = 26.93" on this date, Day 177 of DY 1.

Now Dr. Pistrum (LDR) has an important safety message.

Thank you Ray. Yes I do have an important safety message. Stealing the bananas from my butterfly feeder is a Potential Safety Topic - Environmental Hazard. Whoever got those bananas is in danger. What danger? Easy that, when I catch the culprit, that culprit's life is fixing to be a living hell for a brief instant. Then, following a brief instant, that culprit is either going to rot in hell for all eternity, or perhaps, something even worse than rotting in hell for all eternity shall be the eternal fate of that culprit. So culprit, you are fixing to get it. OK Ray. That's the safety message.

All righty then. Er, Rayetta, I swear right now on the fuzzy noggins of three fifties of red headed orphan baby bastards faunching in a sandbox that I did not steal those bananas.

Good Ray. You may be spared. Now, I have work to do. Bye.

Bye. Mercy! OK. I see here that Crumby has broke the new camera again. What else? Lomo has this new girlfriend, Lometa. They are presently enjoying the proto-human courtship phase of their relationship. As I gaze out the laboratory window I can just espy the noggins of those two love birds sticking up out of the nest they constructed in the Fraxinus pensylvanica. Uh oh. My sister, Rayetta, is approaching the trunk of the nest tree. Uh, oh!!!!

Lovely Silky Evolvulus - Pollinator

Broke again, I took that job in vain
Broke again, my earnings down the drain
During this iteration, I have seldom been so blue
I got what I deserve, my new camera broke again

Yes, the associated may be the last picture taken with that new camera ever. For today, while changing out a dang lens, I accidentally stuck my finger inside the camera and the mirror popped plumb out. That's right. On the back of that mirror are about eight tiny glue spots, but those glue spots failed the man power test. Out popped the mirror. Tomorrow that camera is headed back to California for another round of repairs. Mercy! I may need to stick with the trusty C 5060 from now on. That dslr may be too delicate, fer me. In fact, if it does get fixed, I shall donate my turns with that camera to Rayetta and Ray. I have had it with that particular dang camera. Dang it. I wish I had the sweat of my brow back and no dang camera. Never again ever, shall the Crumby Ovate labor so diligently yet foolishly again, ever.

Plus, I have no idea what that pollinator is. No idea. In the old days I would have had a better idea about what that pollinator is because that pollinator would be dead and glued on the end of a point with a pin through the opposite end of that point, the pin in a cork, all under my trusty microscope. Then, once all that was set up, the Crumby Ovate, well, the Crumby Ovate might learn a thing or two. Yepper. Dang it!

Litmus Test

Ere ye ready fer the great global titration
When yer gutty wuts explode into the sky
Will ye puke er will ye poot as the heat expands yer shoot (chute)
Ere ye ready fer the great global titration

These days, litmus tests have become part and parcel of political parlance in these parts. Course, like with everything else in these parts, “passing” the litmus test is the big deal. How many understand that “passing a litmus test” is ridiculous? One does not pass litmus tests for Goddess Sakes.

Just how fundamentally stupid is litmus test in a political context. First, some history. Little rectangular strips of paper are impregnated with lichen juice. The little rectangular strips of paper color up either pink or periwinkle depending on the lichen juice source. Then, when those same juiced up pink or periwinkle rectangular strips of paper are dipped in an aqueous solution they may change color depending on the relative acidity or basicity of the aqueous solution. Pink strips turn periwinkle when shoved in a basic aqueous solution. Periwinkle strips turn pink when inserted into an acidic aqueous solution.

Duh! Now, here comes one of our Queenlet or Kinglet candidates and she or he has to pass a litmus test before she or he gets to be Queenlet or Kinglet. Are you with me so far? Duh! Let’s pick one of the dopey Kinglet candidates at random for the litmus test to see if he passes. Let’s pick Mitt. Ok. We are almost all set for the test. Now remember, according to Ruling Class Media-Orama, red is for conservative and blue is for liberal which hues more or less correspond to the pink and periwinkle colors of the litmus test which indicate acidity or basicity, or appeal to the base.

Now we shall switch over to Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter for the Druid News Service for a live TV presentation of Mitt’s litmus test. Heeeeeeeeeeere's Hope.

That’s right home audience. Here I am, Ms. Hope Remains, DNS Ace Reporter, with the scoop on Mitt’s litmus test. Goodness gracious sake alive! A team of stern yet kindly Druid scientists have seized Mitt, stripped Mitt, sheared Mitt of his mammalian-like hair and genetically recombined Mitt with two lichens in accordance with Mitt’s characteristic symmetricalness. Consequently, as can be seen on your TV sets, and on the monitors here in the studio, Mitt is periwinkle on one side and pink on the other. Now, in just a minute, the Druid scientists are fixing to raise Mitt up, then once he's raised up, they shall lower Mitt into a large aqueous solution filled beaker. See! They have hooked Mitt up to a pulley system. The actual pulley is attached somewhere way up there to a studio rafter. Cameraman Lomo, pan up to the rafters so the home audience can see that pulley. There it is.

Yikes! Only the Druid scientists know what’s in that beaker. Even I, Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, have no notion of what’s in that beaker. Goodness! There they go. Mitt has been lowered half way into the beaker. My goodness gracious! That aqueous solution may be cooler than Mitt is used to. Oh my goodness! Oops! We have to take a commercial break. But I shall be right back after this important commercial message.

Commercial Message

“O, There aint no bugs on me.”

End of Commercial message.

Isn’t that the cutest puppy, ever!. What a cute puppy! I need to explain to Ray that we need to get a new puppy just like that one. Goodness! I’m back on? All righty then. Home audience as you can see, Mitt is up to his armpits in the aqueous solution. Let’s see if his noggin is also part of the test. Let me check. Yoohoo! Druid scientist Karl, is Mitt’s noggin part of the test?

No, Ms. Remains, the noggin is not part of the test.

Noper home audience. Mitt is only getting tested up to his armpits? So the Druid scientists are about done with the test. All righty then. The Druid scientists are fixing to haul Mitt out of the aqueous solution. Goodness gracious sakes alive! Soon we shall know if Mitt indicates anything. But first I need to ask Druid scientist Karl another question. Yoohoo, Druid scientist Karl. If Mitt’s noggin is not part of the test, how come his noggin is pink and periwinkle just like the rest of him?

Genetic recombination experiments are as much art as science, Ms Remains.

Oh my goodness! Home audience, Dr. Karl just explained why Mitt’s noggin is two-toned even though Mitt’s noggin is not part of the litmus test.

Land sakes! The Druid scientists have at last hauled Mitt completely out of the aqueous solution. They have Mitt on firm ground. Now the Druids scientists are examining Mitt to see if he passed the test. This is so exciting home audience. Soon we shall all know whether Mitt passed. Yoohoo! Dr. Karl, did Mitt pass the test?

Look everybody, Dr. Karl is signalling one thumb up and one thumb side ways. Mitt did pass! Barely! Yippee! Home audience, Mitt has barely passed the litmus test! Yippee!

Well, goodness gracious sakes alive, that’s all for now. But remember, of all the networks, only the DNS covers the campaign for Queenlet or Kinglet from a scientific perspective. This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter. Buy now, and watch out for the Wickerman.

Rayetta's Butterflies - Tawny Emperor (Asterocampo clyton) Documentation for CB

Ha! Right after I dig up an old picture of a tawny emperor, here comes a tawny emperor, visiting the CB. Now I need to see if the tawny emperors like bananas. Oh. My butterflies do not like sweet potatoes very much. Do not waste time with sweet potatoes at your butterfly feeder.

Hmmm. Well, you might try putting molasses on the sweet potatoes. Red and Crumby always like molasses on their sweet potatoes so butterflies might too. I forgot that.

Then later today another skipper new to the CB documentation system showed up. This is the best I could do, photogenically. The silver-spotted skipper (Epargyreus clarus) is large and very nervous for a skipper. That's +2 - -3 on the Rayetta scales. Perhaps this skipper will hang around and calm down so I can get a better picture.

The lovely silky evolvulus pollinator study or adventure continues. The Next Day

Crumby, go do something. Go check the lovely silky evolvulus for pollinators.

But Rayetta, it’s too hot out there in the study area.

Nonsense Crumby. It is not too hot. Go on right now before it gets too hot.

That’s how my study time got bumped up time wise. Today, the study time is ten to ten twenty six. It would have been ten to ten thirty, but I needed to visit with Mrs. Murphy in the Comfort Station at ten twenty six. Rayetta was right though. It is a tad cooler today.

Perhaps the pervasive relative coolness riled up the pollinators. Today, those prospective pollinators were much in evidence. One of those pollinators is this one, a chigger.

Yepper, hard to believe is it not! Yet chiggers may be the facilitators of lovely silky evolvulus parthenogenesis. Occasionally, also, this particular chigger may wander from blossom to blossom, cross pollinating the lovely silky evovlulus.

A 12 Point Program for Annointing Rudi the Fascist, Kinglet

Twleve points. Too funny. Some history.

Rudi is a Grand Masturbator of the Myers/Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) society of knuckleheads. Thus, millions in speakers fees is guaranteed to Rudi, just from showing up at the MBTI seminars. At the seminars, Rudi, tells inspirational stories about introverts versus extroverts and the various representative antics of those two semi-interesting yet imaginary personality types. Also, as recently demonstrated, Rudi knows all about point programs and step programs, even if he can’t keep the enumeration exact. With 9/11 thrown into the mix, emphasizing Rudi’s leadership role as dramatized on TV, Rudi must be extra-inspirational. Many, among the panting crowds of Myers-Briggs knuckleheads, wet their britches, contending with all the inspiration and stimulation. Where’s my panty liner?

Twelve is a good number of points or steps because Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has 12 of those steps in the AA program. AA, steps, points, MBTI, Rudi will keep me safer than anybody, extroverts, introverts: Yikes! Yer driving me crazy some might holler. How is this all connected?

Well, easy that, the mythical figure that connects all this malarkey is Carl Jung, or maybe a bowdlerized version of the mythical Carl Jung. You know, Carl Jung the great Swiss head doctor who may or may not have sort of helped out the Nazis. Yes, Carl Jung may have done some Nazi like activities, but he may also have done some other stuff that wasn’t Nazi like.

Anyway, MBTI, for sure, and AA, maybe, sort of embrace some of the apparently bowdlerized teachings of the part time Nazi and mythical head doctor, Carl Jung. For example, Carl Jung is the father of all the MBTI introverts and extroverts. And Carl Jung may have psychoanalyzed the original reformed drunkard, advising that particular drunkard to seek out a religious experience as an alternative to those swinging doors that made Milwaukee famous. As to the steps and points, there may be no connection, other than steps and points help US keep tabs on the collective consciousness, also invented by Carl Jung.

Rudi, a Grand Masturbator of the MBTI shenanigans, knows, just like Jung knew, that all of US, extroverts and introverts alike, enjoy being a part of the collective consciousness, subconsciously. But collective consciousness, the concept, also makes many of US rugged individualist introverts or extroverts slightly nervous on those occasions when we are awake and alert. Collective consciousness, the concept, when we are awake and alert, feels European, communistic, even Nazi-like. But rugged individualists, be comforted. Simply substitute common sense for collective consciousness on those occasions when your noggin is awake and alert. Then, when the drums start beating, your common sense shall inform which steps to take on the march to Paris. Once you are in gay Paris, Rudi, Grand Masturbator of the MBTI, shall have a nice step program with lots of points all ready for you to follow.

Who Pollinates What, When?

Introduction

An ecologer like me may ask, How come there aint no bugs on this flower? These flowers are just like that singing puppy on the TV. “ O, There aint no bugs on me.” Yepper, but I like to see lots of bugs on the flowers, especially butterflies. Plus, taking the Lovely Druidess Rayetta into account, butterflies on the flowers make my life lots easier.

Abbreviated Life History of the Subject Flora

Casual observation indicates a plant that hardly ever has any diurnal pollinator bugs on it is the lovely silky evolvulus (Evolvulus sericeus). Lovely silky evolvulus flowers open shop in the morning as the temperature rises outside. Anon, as the temperature outside approaches too hot for man or sensible beast, the flowers open fully for business. By noontime, those flowers, sensibly, shut back down.

Methodology

Knowing all this I fetched forth a stool, plus the trusty C 5060, determined to bear the brunt of the Beelzebubberriffic heat while photographing all the interesting insects that turned up to pollinate the lovely silky evolvulus. The observation period occurred between ten thirty and eleven o’clock, Republic of Tejas time, on Day 174 of DY 1. What else I did, methodology wise, was sit there on the stool watching the blossoms intently for half an hour. I was pretty intent the whole time except for brief instances of distraction.

Results

Consequently, I saw one tiny caterpillar, a blue leaf hopper with purple stripes, a young grasshopper and several of Ray’s dipterans land on or near the lovely silky evolvulus herbage. None of this bunch went anywhere near a flower.

A small bee almost as big as a flower, landed on a flower, but only rested for an instant. A tiny true bug walked across a petal. Some little black Hymonepterans buzzed around, but never landed. A small black and red Hymenopteran or Dipteran, maybe, behaved similarly. At no time did any insect pollinate any flower, ever.

Conclusion

When thirty minutes was up I was hot, sweaty and aggravated. So I came inside to take advantage of the air conditioning afforded by the laboratory. Air conditioning is an essential component of report writing these days, so Red air-conditioned the laboratory.

There are bound to be some insects that pollinate lovely silky evolvulus. Perhaps, the thirty minute interval chosen for this study was too short or time sensitive. Perhaps the pollinators range in size from subatomic to lillipution, thus defying intensity of observation or careful scrutiny. Maybe the silky evolvulus pollinators are on holiday. Maybe, the observer scared off all the pollinators? Who the heck knows?

Aftermath

Crumby, did you figure out the pollinators on lovely silky Evolvulus?

Negatory, Rayetta. So far as I am aware, lovely silky Evolvulus has no pollinators whatever. Perhaps, lovely silky Evolvulus is parthenogenic.

Did you put that in the paper?

Negatory, Rayetta.

Two things Crumby. If you ever spell negatory again, I shall make your life a living hell. And second, guess what? I found a skipper pollinating Drummond’s ruellia. How about that?

Er. That’s swell Rayetta. Which skipper?

Which skipper is unknown. I was not sufficiently quick on the uptake to establish, which skipper. But it was large for a skipper and dark. Otherwise it looked like a regular skipper. So Crumby, I expect that you shall continue with your lovely silky Evolvulus study until you discover a pollinator. Correct?

I don’t know about that Rayetta. After all, the fickle Ogma plus the Mammonites are heating it up outside, insufferably.

Nevertheless, Crumby, you should persist. In fact, I insist that you persist.

All righty then, Rayetta.

Well, Crumby!

Now, Rayetta!

Yepper Crumby, now!

Mercy! Out I bounced into the terrible Beelzebubberriffic diurnal heat. The time was the height of day time. The cruel rays of fickle Ogma beat down on my noggin like boxing gloves. Pummelled mercilessly, I barely made it all the way out to the lovely silky evolvulus study area. Mercy! I am taking a terrible beating. Nearly prostrated by the boxing glove like pounding on my noggin I sat down hard upon my stool. Water, I cried out to my trainers and handlers. Squirt some water in my mouth. Rub my noggin with a sponge. Ogma has almost knocked me out. Ah! Yes, squirt water on my heaving bosoms. Yep. Squirt some of that water down my boxing trunks.

There I was, beaten to a pulp. My eyes, mere slits amid prodigious pulpy contusions where my regular eyes used to be. Cut me, cut me I cried out to my trusty trainer.

No, no, no Crumby. You may lose yer eyesight fer ever. It aint worth it.

Yes, trusty trainer. It shall be worth it. If only I may espy lovely silky evolvulus, one last time.

So that’s how I discovered that the lovely silky evolvulus flowers had already closed up for the day. Now I know that my allotted study time is approximately 9:30-11:00 AM.

Photolog


lovely silky evolvulus study area







lovely silky evolvulus awaiting pollinators









a rosy hued lovely silky evolvulus

Rayetta's Butterflies - Ha!

The Republic of Tejas provides habitat for three Asterocampa butterfly species. Apparently, most of the Asterocampa celtis live at the CB. But since there are two other species, I have felt obliged to take lots of pictures of Asterocampa butterflies at the CB. Then I check the pictures to see if either of the other two speices are de-pictured. No luck. All the CB Asterocampa in my pictures are celtis. However, when I was helping Crumby on the job a while back I took this picture. Today I checked this picture out, paying close attention to detail. Tawny emperor (Asterocampa clyton) on Juniperus ashei.

I wonder. Hmmm. I would very much like to sight id butterflies, absent all this picture taking. But lots of the butterflies are confusing when it comes to sight identification. For example, some the CB skippers can be confusing. Nevertheless, I shall persist in the endeavor, sight identification.

To assist me, I have acquired one of Crumby's old binoculars. It is not ideal, but it close focuses at about 8 cubits. So now when I do butterfly patrol, I take it along. I may not ever comfortably identify a skipper with it, but I may be able to identify that a butterfly is unfamiliar. Then, if the butterfly appears unfamiliar, I can sneak up and take a picture.

Sin Threatens Scooter’s Freedom

What is the greatest threat to Scooter’s freedom? Easy that, sin. Sin threatens Scooter’s freedom. Scooter sinned, so now his freedom is in jeopardy, maybe.

Yepper, lying is right up there with gluttony as the worst of the twain sins. So Scooter may have to lose his freedom, because Scooter is a convicted liar. But so what. Almost everybody lies, but hardly anybody gets convicted, considering the probable statistics. Do you intuitively believe that the ratio of convicted liars to general liars is tiny? Course you do.

Yepper, almost everybody lies once in a while. Yet, hardly any of the liars lose their freedom as an immediate result of their lying, sinful ways, maybe. Maybe!

Goodness gracious! Do you remember that first ensnaring lie? There you were, lying. Maybe you got caught. There you were, red dye number two all over yourself.

I aint et no popsickles.

No. Then how did you get that red dye number two all over yourself, Baby Ray? What’s that in your hand Baby Ray, popsickle sticks?

Them popsickle sticks is toys I found, er, Rayetta give em to me. Yepper, Rayetta must have et up them popsickles and left me the sticks to play with.

Baby Ray, you are a wicked liar in mortal danger of losing your freedom to sin forever. So to save you from all that, I Badgemagus Swineherd, Ph D., am fixing to show you what happens to liars. Yes Ray, liars lose their freedom. Ray do you see this great collecting bag?

Yepper.

Do you know what is in this great collecting bag?

Noper. Snuffle.

Well Baby Ray, I shall then, wise you up. This great collecting bag contains multiple specimens of all the flax flowers (Linaceae) in these parts. Alas, the petals have gone deciduous from all the flowers. So you Ray, shall be chained to your little desk in the laboratory until such time as you have all the petals glued back on their original insertion points on the appropriate gynoeciums. Plus, the specimens need to be mounted and labeled Do you understand all that, Baby Ray?

Yepper. Snuffle.

In addition, Baby Ray, you shall take all your meals at your little desk until your onerous task is quite finished up to my satisfaction. The menu, while you are chained to your desk, shall be mashed turnips garnished with pickled beets. Do you understand all that, Baby Ray?

Yepper. Snuffle.

There I was, Baby Ray, chained to my little desk with naught to look forward to but mashed turnips with pickled beets. There I was chained up in the near stygian darkness, deep within the musty bowels of the Druid Tabby Lab with no hope of escape, ever. Plus, after three hours at the onerous task, I only had one petal glued on to a gynoecium. Not only that, that one dang petal and gynoecium didn’t seem to want to match up quite right, either. Snuffle. Mercy!

Long I labored. After awhile I got four petals glued on a gynoecium. But then one of those original four petals fell off when I tried to glue on a fifth petal, necessary to make a set. Dern it. I shall be trapped by my sins down here fer ever.

Ray, here’s yer supper, some nice mashed turnips with pickled beets sliced up on top.

Hark! My sister, Rayetta. Oh my goodness gracious, Rayetta, I have been especially wicked. First, I et up all them popsickles. Then I lied and told Badgemagus you et up all them popsickles. Then I lied again and told Badgemagus you gimme them popsickle sticks to play with. And now I am trapped by them sins fer ever. Snuffle. Boo-hoo.

Yes, Ray, you have been especially wicked. Nevertheless, I feel sorry fer ye, so after ye eat up all yer turnips and beets, we shall address this onerous task once and for all, together. Praise the Goddess!

In those days, I actually liked mashed turnips and pickled beets. So after a hearty meal I felt lots better. Plus, Rayetta made a game out of gluing all those dang petals on those dern gynoeciums. Pretty soon we had that great multitude of flax specimens all mounted up and labeled.

In these days of freedom, contemplating the wages of sin, I make pilgrimages to the Druid Tabby Lab.

Hey Badgemagus, I need to pull the Linaceae sheets.

All righty then, Ray

Linden vs. Lyndon

Let us start off today with a Druid Dichotomy. Which would you rather have in your yard, a tree, or an embalmed imperialist?

A while back I got this free tree. Gradually, it has gotten bigger. Now, this year it has flowered. This particular free tree is a linden tree. Some may call it by other names, but I call it a linden tree. Yepper, yesterday, I was standing next to my free tree espying it for herbivores. The herbivores eat on this particular tree a lot. So there I was,looking for those herbivores when my noggin stove up. Stove up, my noggin refused to remember any of the many names that particular tree is known by. So I went into the laboratory and hauled out a heavy tome of botanical nomenclature. Sometimes, a quick read of the index in such a tome restores me to regular normalcy versus stove up. In fact, generally, if I start out reading a botanical nomenclature index, the Goddess has pity on me and reveals an applicable name before I get all the way back to the Zygophyllaceae. In fact again, sometimes all I have to do is pick up the tome. The very act of hefting the tome may bring about divine intervention, and regular normalcy.

Skipping around, interestingly, one may substitute linden, for any tree name in any song, ever. Like,

linden tree, very pretty, and the linden flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor linden is impossible to eat

or

Oh, lindentree, oh lindentree

or

the oak and the linden trees seem to kiss the prairie breeze

or

she ran around the linden tree, I ran around to meet her,
she pulled up her petticoats, I pulled out fer Tulsa

or

swaying, beneath the lindens, lovers are pulling tendons

See.

But enough of all this foolishness. Consider instead, what is a leaf, what is a bract, is there such as a leafy bract?

Of all the trees, the linden tree may have the most interesting what not. We do know, don’t we, that the flower clusters of the linden are attached by a peduncle to a what not. But what should we name the what not? As you may see, the what not, is nowise similar in configuration to a linden leaf. So dare we call the what not, leaf, leaf like, or even leafy bract, when the what not is so plainly unfamiliar to an actual linden leaf? Merciful heavens!