If Yer Stupid, Everythings Unprecedented - Reconsidered

The Royalty, having divied up the spoils in Iraq, most of which have come from the future Treasury of These Yorenited States, as it may turn out, now have made quite a mess of things. Goodness gracious! However, will it all turn out? Trials for all the War Criminals and Profiteers? Not likely that! Meantime the non-indigenous (to these parts) Royalty, of the United Arab Emirates, is about to get their port contract. Don't think they won't, one way or another, as a reward for having the most cranes. Ah! global generic republicanism, finally at long last, a religion purely distilled for Royalty. Do ye hear that sound? It's the snap, crackle, pop of the Wicker Man.

Save the Spider Monkeys

What’s this then? Jeez Louise, monkeys again. All righty. Lomo! Stop foolin’ around up there . Ye need to climb down and get the camera set up. We are doing a public service announcement.
La-dee, la-dee, la-dee.. Now put the camera on me. There, that’s better.

This is Rayetta Pistrum, the LDR of the Druid News Service speaking to you from Austin, Texas, a horribly crowded, polluted and crime-ridden location that you should never think of moving to, ever. What you should do instead of moving here is donate some money to the Druid Spider Monkeys’ Fund. For today, at this very moment, somewhere in Costa Rica, a spider monkey, down on its luck, is stealing sugar from a restaurant like a common criminal. You see, spider monkeys find white sugar, the kind that goes into sugar bowls at fine Costa Rican restaurants, to be delicious and irresistible. This puts the poor spider monkeys in conflict with the humans and proto humans at these gustatory facilities. For we moderns of the Order Primates, forgetting our long happy sojourn a chattering in the trees, are resentful of this thievery and wary of catching a disease or something. Moreover, the very gluttonous among we humans and proto humans of the Order Primates, those who would keep the white sugar all to themselves, are vowing vengeance on the poor spider monkeys which could lead to the total extermination of all the spider monkeys.

So. We just can’t allow that scenario, total spider monkey extermination, to come to pass, can we? No, course not! So Red’s Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn is taking the lead to provide white sugar to the spider monkeys so they won’t have to steal any more. But the CB can’t do this alone. We need your help to save the spider monkeys. Here’s what we need.

1) A large ship to transport the sugar to Costa Rica

2) Large amounts of white granulated cane or beet derived sugar

3) Porters to tote the sugar to pre-selected spider monkey habitat areas

4) And/or lotsa money to finance all the above

Please, please, please be generous with your donations. Remember, if all the spider monkeys are brutally murdered and eaten by the gluttons, it will be your fault.

So send the above items to Ray Pistrum c/o RGVECB, Sugar to Save the Spider Monkeys, P.O. Box 7-come-11, Austin, Texas 4444. All righty then.

This is the LDR bidding you, be sweet.

Cut Lomo. Apparently my dear brother Ray, judging from the text above, the spell “delicious and irresistible” providing a clue, has infiltrated the DNS.

____

Thanks be to Glen Rose on this one.

The Arkdruid

The Lure of the Stars

If ye stay up 24/7 for a good while ye eventually conk out which is what happened to me, Crumby conked out. But I have arisen Phoenix-like from the ashes sort of and found whut; that my bosom companion Ray, has been busy tyin' ladies' swimming suit garments to the trees in the pecan orchard. Why did Ray do that? Go figure!

A good while back, before the ignorant and vulgar exclaimed, The stars, where'd they go?, and alternatively speculated variously on the stars which were quite apparent in those bygone pre-electric days, somebody, I ferget who, built a 20 foot long telescope to look at the stars with. How'd he do that? Go figure!

So what I been doin' is workin' real hard on the subtopic Druid Cosmology which is well-known to be the least fluffed up of all our subtopics despite our heroic efforts towards gettin' a handle on Druid Cosmology. The many spells, indicative of our heroic efforts, may be accesssed by typing in Druid Cosmology, or perhaps, Cosmoology in the Search this Blog box above and then clicking the button, maybe. How do they do that? Go figure!

So what have I learned over the last several nonces pertinent to the Druid Cosmology. Well, there's a supernova about to transpire in the constellation Aries and we're all gonna die. Are these two phenomena related? Maybe, maybe not. Go figure! But also, looking at the stars is lotsa fun cause ye can see stuff ye never saw before, maybe. Plus, ye get to say up all night foolin' around with gizmos. Why would anyone do that? Go figure!

Ray's Thought for the Day

Let's see now. We got three tics more on Saturday, then it cleared up and we are havin' some days outside without our Wellies so yer prognisticators were true, Hope.

Goodness gracious, don't forget to add those three tics to the total tics of "I am a Mitey Snark in the Formerly Cultivated Area and the CB Tree is Phaestoglochin Sedges Month", Ray.

All righty then. I better do that expeditiously afore I ferget. Let's see, two plus three be five tics. Yikes, that aint much. Hope, ye know that garment we found yesterday may be prognosticatious too.

I don't think so Ray!

But it was in two of the CB colors, black and white.

Still, I don't think so Ray.

Nevertheless, I am mighty intererested in that garment and it may be important.

I don't think so Ray.

Er maybe, the owner would claim it if we put it's picture up somewheres.

That's not a good idea Ray.
Oops! My finger slipped.

Goodness. How did ye get the bosom covers to stick out like that Ray?

Shiver preventers. Or as the LDR would spell, boing boots.

Oh......! You know Ray, there may be no hope for you, after all. You have put it on the tree, upside down.

Whoa! What does that portend?

That Rayetta will most certainly thump your ear before you take it down.

Gee Whillikers!

So it's like 5 am and I been up all night for lotsa reasons. So here's what I did. About 3:30 AM I got up off the couch where I was attemptin' to take repose and avoid the terrible snorin' in my usual repose area, when all of a sudden I noticed how uncomfortble I was. That's when I went outside to lala and while lalain' I chanced to look off to the northeast and there was the star, not the car, Vega, high enough to be visible above the road lights that create the glow ye can espy if ye look at that picture down south of here somewhere.

Ah, ha, Says I, out loud, here's a chance to see that dern Ring Nebula, fer sure. But havin' no sense of spatial realtions and not bein' able to see any other stars with my naked eyes off in that direction except Vega, I purty much lalaed that up. But then, around 5 AM I espied Venus the planet, not the love goddess, off to the east and I says to myself out loud, Well now, whut do ye want to bet I can find that un in the telescope?

That un, Venus, er so I thought, was purty easy, but when I got the dern thing in focus I got a surprise. It looked like a little version of the moon. What's this, I says out loud, an eclipse of Venus? So I screwed on my Ultrablock filter to get some use out of it and Venus was still a quarter crescent, only now it was blue, too.

When it started to get light I came back in here to my orifice and began to think on whut I had just espied. But I couldn't figure nothin' out, so I went to the world wide internet, where I learned that Venus, like the moon, has phases. Well I swan, I says out loud.

Light Pollution

Shot at 7:50 PM about a half mile from 290 West (big tall orange lights on poles). The camera was set on the little moon and star icon and triggered with no flash. It's a cloudy night, but no fog. On a cloudless night, Polaris is faint, to the naked eye.

Sedge Buster Lesson 10 - The End of Gynecandry

Yuckers! Man I hate cleanin' up dead stuff. Especially when its vaguely hominid. Jeez Louise, I hope the coroner don't come snooping around here.

But on to gynecandry, which may or may not be a real spell. We have concluded our review of the Porocystis sheets and our conclusion is "These three taxa probably should be treated as varieties of a single species C.caroliniana." Which is the same conclusion reached by D.S. Correll and M.C. Johnston back in the Stone Age. In fact, it's a quote. Nevertheless there seems to be just a bit of possible variation in our 14 sheets, we found another one, with some of the perygininia and achenes running to slightly different sizes. What we have been calling the C. bushii seems to run a bit bigger.
We have nothing here at the CB that would lead us to conclude that C. complanata exists in nature.

Just for the heck of it, here's a picture of one we have been calling C. caroliniana. Note how little the spikelets are and the achene less than 2mm. Also, note those funny pistallate scales. Note the ends of the scales are sort of apiculate. However, and all that said, these may be smaller because they are a little immature.

This next picture here somewhere is pretty cool. It shows most of a terminal spike of Carex davisii. See, the girls are on top and the male scales are way different in shape than the pistallate scales above them. All the lateral spikes on this species are on pedicels. And because the peryginias are big, averaging about 5mm, the pedicels sometimes droop a bit. This one, and C. oxylepisare both heaved into Section Hymenochlaenae by some of the especially learned.

All righty then. What do ye want to pull next Ray?

Easy that Crumby, Section Lupilinae.

All righty then. Section Lupilinae is the upcomin'.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Yucker!

See Crumby, ye must have dropped that heavy tome on it in the dark one night when ye was burnin' the midnight oil.

How do ye know ye didn't drop the heavy tome on it, Ray? Ye could have just as easily done it as me.

It's yer heavy tome, Crumby!

Yucker! Well perhaps ye twain can give me a hand here.

Is everyone ready to go to the market?

Oh my goodness. Rayetta is ready to go and Ray and I, Hope must depart, anon. Excuse us Crumby. Perhaps we can help you clean up next time you squash a gnome.

But I want to go to the market too. Rayetta, can I go to the market, too?

Hmmmmm. I surmised a strange odor in here, and there, the source is revealed. No Crumby. You can't go to the market. Stay here. Have that gnome cleaned up and disposed of before we return.

But whut am I sposed to do with it, Rayetta?

Alas. I recommend the north compost area. But fer Goddess Sake don't just toss it on top of the pile. Dig a hole fer it. Bye.

Jeez Louise! Yucker!

It's Time to Tidy Up

Goodness! Who was this? Some poor lillipution person has expired under a heavy tome. Ray-ay, when did you last tidy up the laboratory?

Whoa! Gee whiz! It must be the remains of a cubicle gnome. Maybe it followed Crumby home from his job at that awful river authority.

Cubicle gnome?

Yep. Crumby says they habitate cubicles, but only come out at night. The good cubicle gnomes tidy up the cubicles, but the bad ones hide stuff, like staplers, so then the diurnal occupant of the cubicle caint find the stapler.

Oh dear, the poor little thing, what should we do with it, Ray?

Hope, I be concerned with its condition under that tome. This may be a job fer the Crumby Ovate.

Yes Ray, I agree. We should alert Crumby, expeditiously.

Oh, Crumbeeeeeeee. Look what weeeeeeeee found.

Sedge Buster Lesson 9 - Section Porocystis - Yikes!

All righty then. We have 13 sheets of the Poroacystis caric sedges that have their spikes, terminal on the culms. These are named by the mighty wise as C. bushii, C. caroliniana, and C. complanata. Every sheet has been variously annotated over the years to two or another of these 3 specifics. With the help of my esteemed colleagues, Ray and the LDR, we are doing them again, as a team. The charactersitics of the section as a whole are trigonous achenes with three stigmas and predominantly gynecandrous (girls on top) spikelets, especially the terminal, most distal spikelet. Two of these with the above characters that are found in htese parts (Section Hymenochlaenae), which we won't be undressing tonight, have spikelets on flexuous pedicels, thus the spikes hang down, more or less. These are C. davisii and C. oxylepis.

In the picture around here somewhere we have two peryginia and two nearly naked achenes. Measuring the achenes and the peryginia may be the best way to identify these species. Here, the peryginias are a little more than 3mm and the achenes are a shade less than 2.5mm which fits most of the key descriptions of C. bushii best. Danger Will Robinson. Extant line drawings of these species are misleading. Also, you will have lotsa fun if you employ a variety of keys on these three species. Note the trigonous, that is, three-sided yellow achenes. Also, note the interesting, still attached, bent base of the style on the top of the achene.

This second picture shows a terminal spike with most of the peryginias fallen off and two lateral, more proximal shorter spikes with most of the peryginias still attached. In this case, you should be able to see that the male flowers are below the female on the terminal spikelet. The two lateral spikelets are probably entirely female. So here we have an example of a gynecandrous sedge with trigonous achenes. This specimen is from Bastrop County, '95.

The Porocystis are easy to recognize, but not easy to identify to species. Also, they do not appear to be much separated in their ecologies, if ye get my drift.

The LDR - on Assignment - Dubai Creek - UAE

Dubai, Dubai

Dubai, Dubai

He’s so fine. That little George Will of mine

Dubai, dubai, doobie do wah

Jeez Louise. The oppressive heat inside this cabooska outfit is killin’ me and drivin’ me crazy.

Lomo! Climb down off this tower. Then uproot one of those mangroves and climb back up here with it. Ye can fan me with it for I am melting. No not the little one. Pull up that big one. Hurry up!

Oh my Goddess. That’s slightly better. Faster Lomo, faster. Ah!

Crap! Here they come. Lomo! Yikes! Throw that tree into the swamp. Then fix the camera and pan over to those heathen ragheads piling out of that Mercedes. No, no, no, not the white Mercedes SUV, the dark blue Mercedes SUV. No not that one, the other dark blue one. Okie Dokie, that’s enough of the ragheads. Now put the camera on me. That’s better.

Here we are at quasi-lovely Dubai Creek , a simply spectacular little watershed for sewage effluent that eventually meanders through a swamp of introduced mangrove bushes, then proceeds sluggishly onward towards the Persian Gulf which it reaches when Mr. Mohotmoo overwaters the golf course or when the tourists are lalaing off the beer they’ve on loaded.

Today we are meeting with some Assistant Sheik or other if he will get his fat lala up here on top of this bird lovers watch tower a tad more expeditiously. Oh, Praise the Goddess, here he is now. It’s Mr. Mohamed, isn’t it? Yes! I wonder how I could have guessed that name! It is sooo uncommon in these parts. Mr. Mohamed, could you take a moment to explain what we are doing, I mean gazing upon, from atop this splendid bird lovers watch tower.

First, Ms. Rayetta I would like to thank you and the Druid News Service for visiting beautiful Dubai, and especially I would like to compliment you, Ms. Rayetta, on your nice garments. It is a great pleasure to see a lady from America so considerate of our customs.

Yepper. This outfit is just swell. But what are we looking at from up here?

Ah, Mohamed be Praised, we can see from here two additional bird lovers watch towers, mangroves, near at hand, much of the adjacent road work and other new construction that will bring Dubai into modernity.

Hmmm. And what are all those pink birds over yonder?

Ah yes. Those are our Iranian flamingoes, the largest population of Iranian flamingoes outside of Iran, right here in Dubai.

Hmmmm. All righty then. You have been keenly informative Mr. Mohamed but the interview is terminated and now historical. For I, the LDR am proceeding back to my air conditioned motel room where I will strip myself naked and lie on the floor under the air conditioner vent. Lomo, cut.

Oh, but Ms. Rayetta. Do you not wish to see the very numerous Kentish plovers?

No, Mr. Mohamed. I don’t.

Crumby Vs. the Dang Universe

Gravelled and gravelled and gravelled and gravelled. It's gravellin' me no end, this intolerable situation we got goin' in the dang universe. It aint fair, to me. Here I stay up all night out yonder in the east pasture and just when Vega rises above the road lights, the clouds roll in, obscurin' the already light and otherewise polluted north skyline to opaquity, agin. Aggravatin', aggravatin', aggravatin', aggravatin'!
But see here. If Ogma would sit his sorry lala down right now, and the clouds would also go somewheres else, right now, looky here on this nearby chart whut I, the Crumby Ovate could verily espy, maybe. Further, look at all those other planets and nebulae, and clusters and galaxies. Where they heck are they at when it's dark and ye got some chance of espyin' them?

Er, maybe I need an eclipse. Reckon those dern road lights would come on durin' an eclipse? Ha! I know whut I, the Crumby Ovate shall accomplish in the east pasture tonight. Crumby shall be revenged!
____

Crumby sometimes get a little excited over phenomena beyond his direct control. When this happens he needs to calm down and reflect upon his extra long Druid trainee period.

The Arkdruid

Ray's Thought for the Day

Yawn. The round chested versus flat chested method for filterin' has its limitations which generally become apparent in situations similar to the one involvin' Ahab and the Great White Whale. Just such a situation became apparent in the wee hours of this mornin' when the clouds rolled in on us yet agin. And no amount of round chestedness as we were all diplayin' heartily could dispel those clouds that rolled in around 2 AM. So the Ring Nebula is fast becomin' Crumby's Great White Whale and we are the crew of the Piquod, avast ye matey. One of two portentions need to transpire anon. 1) Red can relax the requirement of general attendance at these all night astronomical sessions. 2) Hope can use her Druid Magic to defy the WG and dispel the clouds long enough for Crumby to espy the White Whale, I mean Ring Nebula. Either one of these would satisfy me, Ray fer I be waxin' flat chested on the subtopic all night astronomy. Plus its delayin' my sedge bustin' duties.

But, I am a bear fer work and a badger fer gettin' out of a bag, so I did pull the Poacystis sheets. Crumby looked at one of 'em, labeled Carex bushii. The Poacystis was another Great White Whale, fer Crumby. But when he collected those he didn't have me and Rayetta around, to hep.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Oh Ray - ay. Guess what ye got?

Hark! That is the usual signal that a package has arrived, fer me. Give it me, Hope!

My goodness gracious sakes Ray, whatever do ye think is in that nice fat envelope. Open it, open it.

All righty then. Ha! It be the light filter. And just in time fer clear skies tonight, maybe. Looky here it comes with a catalog and a graph. Er. Lomo better look at this here graph. Graphs aint one of my specialities.

What ye got there Ray?

The light filter has arrived, expeditiously Crumby.

Give it me.

No.

Ray!

Now stop it you two. No need to start a fuss. We shall all look at it together.

But I want to put it in the microscope, Hope!

You can put it in the microscope anon Crumby. Let's look at the instructions and the graph first.

Graph! Graphs aint my specialty. Best give that to Lomo. I know. Let's load up a picture of it.

All righty then.

Whoa! Look at that. It's azure blue in the camera eye.

Rayetta. Looky here at the new light filter.

Hmmmm. Perhaps now those awful road lights will no longer be so intrusive.

Yepper. Perhaps.

Ye doggies. Ogma sit down and moon come round. Hey Lomo, check out this cool graph!

Hmmph. Block light below 450nm also above 550nm. Let thru 24nm around 490nm.

All righty then!

Newsflash! - Druid News Service (DNS) - the LDR Correspondin' from Dubai

Good morning and a lovely day is portending. Lomo! Put the camera on me! That's better.

Now as I, the LDR was spelling, a semi-lovely day is portending, maybe. We are on location here in semi-beautiful Dubai, the capital city, perhaps, of the United Arab Emirates. Dubai is not the sleepy little Arab town of the past, but a bustling metropolis of new roads and ***** high rise hotels everywhere. And indeed as I gaze about, hither and yon, in truth, I do espy a great many cranes, all busy craning about the numerous high rise buildings.

But putting the cranes aside for the nonce, whoa!. Lomo, pan over that way. One of those cranes is toppling over. Yes, yes. Can every one see that crane toppling over? How exciting is that for a DNS exclusive? Hmmmm. Perhaps someone got hurt when it hit that skyscraper. Oh well.

We are here today at the Emirates Golf Course, which in addition to its ranking as an internationally renowned golf course, frequented by many of our very own ruling class linksters, is also a Mecca for international birdwatchers. Let me just check the Log and see what international birders are in attendance enjoying the golf course avifauna today. My goodness! Apparently the Copenhagen Coots Retired Ladies Birding Club is present today. Aren't they an intrepid bunch! Lomo, put the camera on those old ladies over there, the ones running along in tennis shoes. Isn't that cute. They are trying to get a closer look at a citerine wagtail. Lomo, zoom in on the citerine wagtail. No, no, no, Lomo, that's a jack snipe. The wagtail is over there in that thingy bush that looks like a mesquite. Shoot! All righty then, never mind the wagtail. Jeez Louise! Cut fer a minute Lomo. I'm hotter'n beezlebub inside this dang babooska or whutever they call this dang outfit. If I can just get this thing off fer a minute, Ahhhhhhhhh! Air.

All righty then. Oops, how do I get this thing back on! Lomo, here comes Mr. Mohotmoo, the head groundskeeper for the golf course. Lomo! Put the camera on Mr. Mohotmoo. Mr, Mohotmoo, yoohoo, Mr. Mohotmoo, look over here please. It's me-ee, Rayetta of the DNS here for the interview. Ha! Here he comes.

Hello Mr. Mohotmoo. It was so kind of you to take time away from your busy schedule. No doubt, maintaining the links in such a climate is no easy task?

Yes indeed Ms. Rayetta. This is not like India where I come from. It rains in India. But the rain deities have looooong forsaken this place. It is a desert and no place for a Hindu like me.

Then why do you stay here Mr. Mohotmoo?

Oh my goodness. The Arabs have a great deal of money to pay Mohotmoo, and they do not work themselves, but yet they wish for lovely green links in this terrible desert place, and for that they pay Mohotmoo much money. Yes indeed.

I see Mr. Mohotmoo. And when you have enough money, what will you do?

Oh Ms. Rayetta. I shall most certainly return to my native India, where it rains.

Interesting Mr. Mohotmoo. What is the most challenging part of your job here at the Emirates Golf Course?

Oh my goodness Ms. Rayetta. There are many challenges, but the foremost of these is the sprinkler system. It is thirsty grass and hot, so the sprinklers must be kept in perfect working order. This is a very great challenge for Mohotmoo, for the international birders may become excited and kick over a sprinkler head. So then Mohotmoo must repair that sprinkler head. But soon the international birders may become very excited indeed and kick over a great many other sprinkler heads. So poor Mohotmoo is kept very very busy.

Goodness! That does sound busy. My goodness gracious sakes, those birders should watch out for those sprinkler heads. Say Mohotmoo, and just between us twain Goddess worshippers, do you ever turn the sprinklers on for fun?

Oh yes Ms. Rayetta. That is very much fun indeed and cheers up a poor Hindu very much in this dreadful place.

Well thank you Mr. Mohotmoo. And if you wish, you can turn a sprinkler on, on me, for I am a roast in this outfit and the sweat pooling in my shoes is most unladylike. This is the LDR, signing off on behalf of the DNS from the Emirates Golf Course in Dubai.

Cut Lomo! Let's get the lala out of this lala hole!

Hope's Thought for the Day

Goodness gracious! Has everyone conked out. Perhaps I should share a cheery prognosication or two within the context of this venue. I feel very optimistic about the possiblity of a nice shower this weekend. In addition, following the nice shower, Ogma will shine for a day or two and everyone will get to go outside without their Wellies. Then the WG, espying our happiness, may round up all the Republicans and deport them to Dubai where the Republicans will also be very happy because they are making much progress in Dubai and have lots of cranes. Perhaps the Republicans shall get jobs supervising the cranes, or guarding the cranes for a big corporation. Won't that be nice!

Ray's Thought for the Day

Goody! I, Ray can spell in private fer the nonce. Er. We be up to twain tics of precipitation fer the month. Little rain but I aint seen the sun shine, since I don't know when. Which leads to tension and the occasional ear thumpin' in these parts, as also, no doubt, occurs elsewhere, maybe.

Curious, to me, that the semi-high and mighty are so riled up about the ports. We been sellin' this country to the highest bidder fer years. Why should the ports be any different than good jobs, decent wages, pensions, healthcare and environmental standards. Shoot, even our legal protections is on the block, all to make sure the global corporations have plenty of profits so somethin' or another may trickle down their pants legs to the rest of us. Tonight Red told me about a glutton he saw on TV that was all swole up because of the crocodile tears a great many of the other liars and gluttons were sheddin' over the ports. Accordin' to Red this particular liar said Dubai(the UAE) was a great place on account of they have more cranes operatin' in Dubai than anywhere else. Yepper. That about says it all on where the Kinglet and His Mindless Minions are headed if we can continue to , buy, beg, borrow and steal sufficient oil, a crane in ever ' backyard. Rayetta's "satire" of the other night was a foretellin' that I don't care to see. Yikes! I am becomin', morose.

Sedge Buster Lesson 8 - pictures are of Carex reniformis maybe

Good! I Crumby can work alone fer the nonce and reflect a bit. Back when I was doing sedge busting seriously, fer money, Section Ovales troubled me becasue I generally couldn't figure out my specimens to species. Times change, but apparently I don't. I still don't feel entirely comfortable calling this one C. reniformis which is what I called it back in '97. Also, the specimen is from Harris County right across the street from an EPA superfund site, so it may be irradiated er somethin'. Plus there's the C. brevior situation to consider. If ye would like to consider C. brevior feel free to compare the treatment of the Section Ovales in the Manual of the Vascular Plants of Texas to the same in the Flora of North Texas.

In any event, fer this lesson we are interested in the character that separates the Section Ovales from all the other bi-stigmate, flat peryginate caric sedges, gynecandry, or as my bosom companion Ray would allow, the girls are on top. To the east somewhere is a picture of the girls are on top. It shows an Ovales spikelet with female scales and peryginia distally with male scales and flowers proximally. If ye look closely ye can espy the wispy little white staminate parts stickin' out here and there. Also, the spike is broken off with just a few male flowers still attached to the distal part above the break. The general aspect of an Ovales spike always reminds me of a cat's tail when the cat's lalaed off, a bottlebrush.

A second picture shows the ventral side of a peryginia. Note that the body of the peryginia, the lower part before the beak starts, is maybe a little wider than long and broadly winged. Those whitish things on the edges are called wings. Also, note the three or so, vague veins, right on top of the achene body which ye can see outlined under the peryginia.

Yep. I am not fond of Section Ovales. They are a nasty bunch. And the same, only more so, can be said fer the even much nastier Section Poroacystis, which will be lesson 9. After the upcomin' lesson 9 is history, it will be clear sailing.

The Crumby Ovate signing off fer me, the Crumby Ovate.
____

That dern Rayetta. I got to do some payback fer that ear thumpin'.

Sedge Buster Lesson 7 -pictures are of Carex retroflexa and Carex rosea

All righty then, sedge busters. This is the last lesson on the Phystoglochins. Next up, anon, will be the gynecandrous caric sedges, Section Ovales. The Ovales are much less common in these parts than the Phystoglochins. Right Ray?

That has indeed been my experience also Crumby. And it makes sense that they would be, less common.

Oh! Why do ye spell that Ray?

Because the girls in Ovales are always on top. It's unnatural.

Oh!.... Hark! Both the fair Hope and the fair Rayetta have the both of them twain arrived on the scene. How be ye ladies and look what Ray has indeed spelled just now?

Ray! Here's a good ear finger thump fer ye!

Owwwwwwwwwwwwww! Dang it Rayetta! Whut''ud ye do that fer?

Fer yer bein' an MCP. That's whut fer. Also, I needed to release some tension. Now whut's on fer today and load em up?

All righty then. This first picture shows most of a spikelet of C. retroflexa. Please inspect the lower halves of the visible ventral peryginial surfaces and if ye are not a numbskull, ye will see that they are striate. C. retroflexa is the only Phytoglochin in these parts that has this sort of decoration. C. texensis peryginias apparently look just about like C.retroflexa peryginias, but lack the striate vertical ridges.

But if ye travel northward into beautiful Oklahomy, ye may espy this one if ye go well north of Bokchito. It's Carex rosea from especially beautiful Adair County. It also has the lower ventral surface striations, but it also has toofers on the peryginial beak. C. retroflexa has no such toofers. Also, there is more separation of the spikes in the infloresence compared to how bunched up the spikes are in the C. retroflexa.
_____

My goodness gracious Rayetta. Did you have to ear thump Ray so hard?

Yes. Yes I did Hope. And I think I shall now go over and thump Crumby also, fer tattlin' on Ray.

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Whut did ye do that fer, Rayetta?

Sedge Buster Lesson 6 Carex perdentata

Hello boys and girls. It's the LDR. And I, the LDR shall delay this episode of Sedge Buster for a brief nonce, because I can. For I shall spell to you, the hard-working Druidry of the CB laboratory and any of the Druidry in these parts that happen to be tuned in, on the subtopic,

Should the Kinglet sell our American ports to a corporation owned, perhaps, by the United Arab Emirates, which I believe is a country, or conglomeration of sheikdoms, or something similar to a conglomeration of sheikdoms, whatever that implies?

Easy that, yes we should, unequivicably. The Royal Emirs of the United Arab Emirates are our friends in the global economy and have been doing business with Our Very Own Kinglet and Our Royal Family for many, many moons. Most, if not all of the Royal Emirs play golf. Most, no, no, I firmly daresay all of them, own nice suits and drive nice automobiles and have large nice families, nice houses and plenty of money. They are, in short very much like Our Kinglet and all His Ministers and even like unto a Subset of His Most Elite Servitor Confidantes. They are, in short, the same difference as the people already running Our Country. Fellow and Lady Druids, Tabby Labbers, and verily also ye ignorant and vulgar, we have embraced the World Global Economy and now it is time to also, metaphorically perhaps, embrace the rich and powerful friends of Our Kinglet. We shall embrace them, and kiss their fingers and wash their feet with ointment and wipe the ointment off their feet with our hair. Then they, because they are compassionate, will show us mercy and, trickle down.

This is the LDR, signing off for the Druid News Service.
_____

Whoa! Jeez Louise! Tripartite Naked Orphans! Red-Headed Step Chile! Oh My Goodness Gracious!

Er. Snuffle. Ere ye done Rayetta?

What do ye think. Ray? Didn't ye hear me sign off?

Well Rayetta I, Crumby was also wonderin' when ye would get to the part about us bein' opposed to the country bein' bought and sold like some old whore of Babylon.

Don't be so old fashioned Crumby. The times are indeed, changing. And stop making sexist spells or I will pull one of yer ears off.

Ye do, and I will most certainly spell to Red that ye have become a, a, a........ a dang crazy person.

Ha! Had ye goin', didn't I Crumby! See Mr. Smarty Pants! Yer not the only one in these parts that knows how to spell satire. Now whut's the sedge lesson.

Whew!

Goodness gracious Rayetta. I have never seen you like that. You were just like, uh,...... Mary Matalin or perchance like unto one of the somewhat prettier of the Kinglet's Spokes Ladies.

Why thank you Hope. I certainly intended to scare what passes for wits out of you all. For if we do not get shut of the Kinglet and His Mindless Minions, all spells in this land will have such a flavor. Now whut's that sedge.

Whew! Er. It's that perdentata one, plus I have an extra treat fer everyone on account of I have a picture of my lenin tester, too.

Well ye boys just load on up then.

All righty then.
_____

Sedge Buster Lesson 6

Somewhere nearby, probably off to the east, is a picture of my linen tester that I love very much. Here it is in its prone postion serving as a paper weight, a peryginia corral and a measurin' device all at the same time. Then it also has a 5x magnifyin' glass (not in use in the picture), and it can be bent up too. Fer it has hinges, and then it looks like a tiny microscope or end table. I love my little linen tester soooooooo much. But I would like to have a 10x one, too.

Then this second picture shows a bunch of sedge peryginias mixed together. The shorter, fatter ones are C. leavenworthii and the longer, slightly skinnier ones are C. perdentata. The perdentatas are also brown, but that's not always the case. The differences in peryginia size and shape is the best way to tell these two kinds apart. One more interesting thing here. These particular C. leavenworthiis are almost toothless on their peryginial beaks. That's not always the case. In addition, both these specimens come from Travis County in north Austin, the Parmer Lane vicinity.

Whew! Dang ye Rayetta!

Ray's Thought for the Day

Kiangs are donkeys of fair vestiture, indeed. Apparently there's a herd of kiangs at the San Diego Wild Animal Park which can be visited electrically at www.ultimateungulate.com. So this character that runs ultimateungulate goes to the wild animal park and takes pictures of the kiangs, including some baby kiangs that are especially cute which is typical of baby horses and horse relatives. But ye have to do a bunch of stuff electrically to use his pictures, which are free if ye do the extra stuff electrically, which I aint gonna do. So my search for nice pictures of kiangs continues.

Do ye think wild animal park may be an oxymoron? How about, industrial park? How about housing developments named The Parke?

Ray Recounts to Relax

All righty then. So far during the month of I am a Mighty Snark in the Formerly Cultivated Area and the CB Tree is Phaestoglochin Caric Sedges we have had cold weather and about one tic of precipitation. Ye would never guess that all these clouds that have hung on fer days and days would not have much rain in em. But they don't.

This evenin' I made a big kettle of soup fer supper that is delicious. Soup is good fer cold weather and ye can generally heave in a great many leftovers as ingredients.

Whut else is new? Er. Er. We have maybe 7-8 baby cotyledons comin' up in the bracted twist flower bed, but Hope says to remain hopeful fer none of em so far appear to be baby cotyledon bracted twist flowers. We also have a bunch of little baby grasses in that bed. Ha! This will be interesting, whether we get the target species er not.

Crumby is tryin' my patience, but since I don't want Rayetta to pull one of my ears off, I'm tryin' not to fuss, with em.

All of us have been watchin' Bleak House on the TV. It's a mighty fine show, all righty then.

Sedge Buster Lesson 5 (pictures are of Carex leavenworthii)

All righty then all ye sedge busters. It don't matter if yer sheath is baggy, if yer......

Whoa! We don't want to go there Ray. That's a particularly naughty song!

It aint no naughtier than puttin' yer hand down a fatty's spandex.

Er. That reference was metaphorical Ray, metaphorical.

Well, so's mine.

All righty then. Let's just not go there, Ray. This may be a family venue, maybe.

Well all righty then, Crumby. Aint ye touchy. Jeez Louise!

Er. All righty then. The first picture here abouts is of the needle test on the sheath of this particular sedge. Ye can easily see that I busted the hyaline (means almost transparent and tissue like) top of the sheath, auricle) when I stuck the needle under it. It was fairly tight around the stem. Danger Will Robinson! Any key character that emphasizes vegetative vs. reproductive parts is likely to be no account. So we don't really trust this one, but we showed it here anyway cause its in all the sedge keys.

Now we get to the spongy part. Here are three C. leavenworthii achenes. Note that they are all a little less than 3mm, have toothed peryginial beaks and one of them has a hole poked in the base to show its spongy.

Last we see here somewhere a closeup of the busted up base that shows just how spongy.

Lesson 6 will be Carex perdentata which is very closely related to Carex leavenworthii. Stanley Jones figured out C. perdentata was a species, not long ago.

Euphorbia (not Chamaesyce) wrightii

The CB is plumb out of Chamaesyces for the time being. But we have lotsa other spurges including this one. This spurge is fairly rare, maybe, in Coahuila and in the western part of the Edwards Plateau. The specimen is from Irion County, collected '97. But what I wanted to show is the long exserted gynophore of this one. So that's what's here, somewhere, the long exserted gynophore. Also, there's a gland with its petaloid appendage pulled off so ye can see what those look like pulled off. Can ye say, strigose vestiture?

Art in These Parts

Crumby's Thought for the Day

Dang it! I am supposed to be considering what to do about Rayetta and her presumptive affair with George Will. But I caint concentrate. Anyway, that dang Rayetta is dangerous. So I might better let her be, maybe.

Far better to contemplate, more aperture. I could get us one of these and almost double the available aperture. What heavenly views might I espy in addition to those I can espy, already? Whoa! There's Red to consider and his ludite ways.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Yikes! I been slackin' off. For it is indeed, February 20th by the Julian which means I am overdue by two days with the presumptively in progress CB calendar. It is no longer

I am a Sneeze in the Pasture Month and the CB Tree is Baby Cotyledons,

but verily an all new month that is, triple yikes, so far nameless and treeless.

All righty then. I got to think! Lanee, lanee, lanee, lanee, la-neeeeeeeeeeeeee, lanee, lanee, woolly boop boop boop boop, lanee, lanee, lanee..................Hark!

Got it!

For the days of the Julian,

February 18 to March 17, I am a Mighty Snark* in the Formerly Cultivated Area and the CB tree is Phaestoglochin Caric Sedges

Oh my goodness gracious. Everyone will greet this month, enthusiastically. Fer the little Phaestoglochins will be fornicating happily this month. Here, pictured somewhere, is one of em potted in a one gallon fer its own protection. This one is Carex retroflexa, maybe.
_____

*Mighty Snark is Druidese for clearing out the upper respiratory passages. Related spells are "snoofer", "blowing it out the side" and "hawking up".

The Ark Druid
_____

Ray honey. What was the precipitation total for I Sneeze in the Pasture Month?

Yikes, Hope. I near fergot that too. Let's see here. Alrighty then it would be fourteen and a half tics divied up by ten tics, is 1.45 inches. Yikes! That aint much.

I Sneeze in the Pasture Month -CB - Baby Cotyledons - 1.45 inches of precipitation

Sedge Buster Lesson 4 (pictures are of Carex gravida)

All righty then. Continuing onward with our survey of the caric sedges (Section Phaestoglochin) we have now two key characterisitcs of interest, baggy sheaths and peryginia that are spongy at the base. First let's consider the very annoying baggy sheaths. Baggy is when the leaf sheath does not fit tightly around the culm. As you can see here, I have inserted the tip of a big sewing needle underneath the sheath auricle, top of the sheath, of this caric sedge. This was easy cause there's space between the auricle and culm (the non leafy stem that holds the spike(s)). If, on the other hand, the sheath was tight on the culm it would be like a fatty in spandex and I would have real trouble putting a needle under the auricle without ripping it. Once I tried to keep my hand under a fatty's spandex for a while, but the blood circulation to my hand was soon cut off. So perhaps you can understand what I mean if you have done that too, put your hand under under a fatty's spandex. However, the upcoming Lesson 5 will show you a tight sheath on a caric sedge in case you are not as worldly as Ray and me. Also we will label the next one, sheath, stem (culm), and auricle.

The second picture here shows a Carex gravida achene on the left and a C. gravida peryginiawith part of the peryginia removed to show the achene on the right to demonstrate that this species does not have a peryginia with a spongy base. Spongy base is also a very troubling key character that we will show you a picture of in Lesson 5. As you will see, when a spongy base is present, it looks like there's a piece of sponge inside the peryginia at the base of the achene.

We chose C. gravida for this lesson because it is pretty much the only Phaestoglochin caric sedge in Texas with a baggy leaf sheath. Specimen is from Tarrant County, 1997.

Now I am weary and wine soaked as is my bosom companion Ray. And we are, that is both my bosom companion and me, both deeply troubled about Rayetta and her libido.

Ray's Thought for the Day

Anybody that believes I didn't get my cinnamon bun yesterday, can guess agin. Fer I got that cinnamon and et it up. It was delicious! But the vendor lady warned me about not grabbin' my cinnamon up with my barehand out of the vendor tray. She said she'd get it fer me, but by then it was too late fer her to get my cinnamon bun, fer I had it already, in hand. The vendors need to make allowances fer me. I get excited!

I was scared fer a second er two that the nice lady vendor would make me give up my cinnamon bun. Yikes! But she went ahead and sacked it up, fer me, alrighty then.

Whut the heck is Rayetta up to? Tryin' to spark that smarty pants, George Will. She must have lost her mind.

Er. That aint gonna wash, is it Crumby?

Noper, it aint Ray. We caint have the LDR sparkin' a heathen. It lalas me off. Say Ray, when ye dance around in yer underwear like the Lord Cernunnos, what do ye use fer horns?

Well generally Crumby, I will stick my thumbs in my ears and then spread all my fingers out, but I may have to get me some antlers, or some ox horns maybe, fer special occasions.

Yepper Ray. That sounds reasonable. Maybe I'll get me some too. I used to have a hat that I made in Beaver Scouts long ago. The hat part looked a little like a buffalo, but the horns was just tips sawed off a heifer. Somethin' like that would work though. Reckon whut become of that hat?

Yepper, ye would never ferget a hat like that Crumby and regret losin' it. I bet ye looked sharp in it, too.

Possibly Ray, possibly. However, we need to stop all this foolishness and get on to somethin' else, maybe, like Spurgin', on a Sunday afternoon. I have been goin through the spurge sheets and found, lo and behold, a sheet of snow-on-the-whatevers that the beetles didn't eat. What's more I recollect this particualr sheet on account of how aggravated I was when I put it together. There's actually two specimens in it. One is E. marginata and the other may be E. bicolor. Remember the snows-on-the-whatevers the beetles et?

Yepper. Reckon why the beetles didn't eat this sheet too?

Don't know Ray. Maybe the WG stopped em fer otherwise those ravenous little dickens would have et this un too, fer sure. Anyhow, let's load em up, fer this is interestin' spurgewise.

All righty then.

The sheet says this uns # 1744 from Travis County, old Colorado River terrace. But that's just fer the E. marginata, fer I apparently taped what I thought was E. bicolor right next to the other one on the sheet, but I don't recollect where I came by the other specimen. This first un shows the two spurges from off aways with E. bicolor on the lower left. Notice how it didn't hold its color. It also has skinnier leaves and bracts, but big whoop if they hybridize. Now look at this second un. This time E. marginata is on the lower left. Compare em Ray.

Whoa! Look at those glands of the ppetaloid appendages on the E. marginata one. And the glands aint discernible atall on the E. bicolor.

Ye have a sharp eye Ray, a sharp eye. Perhaps, this is the character of diffusion that has long eluded us.

Words are Deeds?

George dear. I, Rayetta like you. I really do. But you should try to be more exact with your spells. Especially when you are on TV. Now as a media personality myself I know how distracting TV work can be. Try doing a broadcast with Lomo Sapien fiddling with the electric gizmos and Ray prancing around in his underwear behind you in full view of the camera pretending he's Cernunnos, Lord of the Animals. Plus, spelling to the ignorant and vulgar extemporaneously is hard work, especially with Suzie Creamcheese and her well-worn jaw, unhinged next door. I will admit that I couldn't sit next to that vacuous windbag for fifteen minutes every week for Goddess Sake and listen to her up close like you do.

But honestly George, how could you spell, Words are deeds on TV, and even punctuate, Words are deeds, with that cute little nod you do for emphasis. You know better than that George. Words are words. Spells are deeds. Oh, I know what would go really well with those emphasis nods. When you do those, also tug your forelock. George, let's get together. You are adorable.
____

I think Rayetta is spelling about George Will and Cokie Roberts.

The Arkdruid

A Familiar Saying that Makes No Sense

Ye get whut ye pay for.

Unless what you get, is free. Like maybe you stole it or somebody gave it to you. For example, I, Red once got a pair of cowboy boots when the original owner died. I didn't give a nickel fer em, and still wear em on occasion, especially when I feel like I need some height advantage and don't have to go far and generally anticipate level ground. But ever'one of those considerations would be the same, no matter what the cost of the cowboy boots.

Ye get good stuff all the time ye don't pay fer, air, fer example.

Ye get whut ye pay fer, don't even make sense even if ye do pay fer it. Fer example, consider sales. Ye get the same item at a different price when its on sale, er, different prices for the same item from optional vendors, maybe.

Whut about cinnamon buns? That un Hope fetched back here a week er two ago fer Ray as a substitute fer Ray's regular cinnamon bun cost the same as Ray's preferred cinnamon bun, but Ray didn't get his preferred cinnamon bun, now did he?

So whut in the Name of The Tripicate Greatest Orphans of Gwynedd do the ignorant and vulgar mean by this familiar saying? Easy that, it's gluttony, the inference bein' that if ye don't mortgage the farm fer whatever, whut ye substitute fer whutever aint no count. That's all it means, pure and simple. How 'bout this un fer a more useful familiar sayin'? Make do with whut ye got. This un, we can all live with. Aint that right, Crumby?

Er. Maybe, maybe not Red. Whut if whut ye got is wore out?

All righty then let's amend er too, Make do with whut ye got that aint imminently perishable.

Er. Whut if ye need somethin' altogether involvin' new technology Red?

All righty then let's amend er too, Make do with whut ye got that aint imminently perishable er brand new useful technology that aint merely a senseless replication of existin' technology that will do nothin' but make more gluttons.

All righty then. That sounds reasonable, but fer some reason, I bet it don't catch on, Red.

Alas, ye may be right on that count Crumby. Alas.

_____

Red is giving Crumby a lesson in both frugality and precision of spelling.

The Arkdruid

Sedge Buster

Lesson 3

Genus Carex (the infloresence)

This is kind of interesting technically. The CB Lomo microscope has a knob on it. Ye turn the knob to 0.6 and the images viewed are 0.6 natural size. Then with a 30mm telescope plossl ep available from the desertscopes vendor, me an my bosom buddy Ray here(we have patched up our quarrel of last night) can take pictures about 25mm or a little more wide. So in this example we got all the Carex austrina infloresence except for the distal part of the terminal spike which we messed up disectin' anyway for Lesson 2. So what we have here is about six + different full spikes of the infloresence and a runt spike on the proximal, left end.

Sometimes botanists, eager for semi-fame get difficult with their lingo. So let's go over some of the lingo pictorially. Let's spell spike position terminology. All the spikes below the terminal spike, the one on the far right, are lateral spikes. These lateral spikes are, relatively speaking, proximal or distal. The out of focus one furthest to the left is the most proximal spikelet and it would be the one closest to the ground if this sedge was in the ground. Then as you go up, or to the right in this case, the spikes become more and more distal until you arrive at the terminal spike. Sabby? All righty then.

Now here nicely depicted above also are what are called bracts of the infloresence. At the base of those spikes sometimes there will be a great big long scale very similar to the scales that cover the abxial sides of the female peryginias. You may notice that such a one is identified in the photograph. Sometimes these can be really long, even longer that the whole infloresence. But most of the time they are much shorter than that. The lower one indicated here is pretty long, but it does not go way out past the distal end of the terminal spike like it does on Carex perdenta. Yer right Pat. C. perdenta has just the one spike.

_____

Dang it Ray! I caint figure out how to set the color for the letters and lines on these pictures.

Me neither, Crumby!

Carrot er Buttercup

This was a new un, fer me. It's an aquatic carrot(Hydrocotyle ranunculoides). For a while, I thought it was an aquatic buttercup, but now I know better. Carrot, buttercup, carrot. It be carrot. Boy howdy, if the spell ranunculoides don't cheer ye up, ye need to char in the Wicker Man, fer sure, for ye are beyond redemption. Nunc and oid in the same spell. Well I swan.

Calm down Ray. And move over. I got to spell on another important subtopic.

Well alrighty then, yer majesty, Crumby Junior.

Ray! I warned ye on that Junior malarkey, so here's a nice Indian burn, fer ye.

Owwwwwwwwwwwww! Dang it Crumby. Ye twisted my skin plumb off. Yer gonna get it fer that.

Stop it! Stop it this instant yer wreckin' the laboratory wrestlin' around! Stop it, or I, Rayetta will yank one ear off each of ye.

Whoa! All righty then. But ye got to make yer no account brother here cease spellin' me Junior. It's humiliatin' fer a Druid of my age and experience and it reflects badly on the CB in general.

Ray! Stop spellin Crumby Junior!

Lookee here whut he did to me arm, Rayetta.

Come with me Ray. We'll put somethin' on it and you can have a Dolmen er two. Crumby, you should be ashamed of yourself giving Ray an Indian burn. Jeez Louise, I can't turn my back for a minute around here. Come on Ray.

Junior. Now whose the Junior. Me er that titty baby, Ray. Dern it. I sure am feelin' grouchy. Why am I so grouchy? Easy that, everthin's conspirin' agin me. All week, er most of it, I been tryin' to get the telescopery on to the dang Ring Nebula and ever time the clouds roll in and prevent me from achievin' my goal. Then Piggy peed all over one of the shiver preventers and I picked it up not noticin' the dog pee all over it. Which wouldn't have been so bad if I had kept it out of my pocket. But the real issue is, I may want some more telescopery equipment that I know I don't deserve. But see, I don't know if I want it or not, fer sure. I just know I don't deserve it, maybe. And the weather is keepin' me from findin' out if i even need it. See, if I could just see if the existing telescopery satisfied me on the Ring Nebula, I might not even want the other telescopery, or need it, but dang if I can find that out. Especially since the derned clouds have rolled in and are foretold to persist fer days and days. All I can spell about that is, it better rain with all these clouds er I'm going to do some serious physical violence on somebody I don't like, or a stranger, maybe. All righty then, maybe it would comfort me some to spell this out.

There's a telescopery vendor in these parts that has these 10" diameter Newtonian telescopes that weighs 57 pounds(lbs). He vends these behemoths fer $565 shipped which means they run about $10/lb, or a little less. That seems like a great bargain, to me. But of course I might ask myself, er Ray if I hadn't just run him off, is poundage whut's important in telescopery just like it is with Congressmen? But I diverge. In addition to bein' hefty, this telescope is tall, too, more than 1200mm tall. That's 1.2m plus. Then it has to rotate on a hinge inside a box that sits on the ground and that makes it even taller. (There's little doubt Piggy will sidle up to that box fer sure. Reckon the dang box is dog pee proof?) But how dang tall will it be off the ground to where I look in? Am I gonna need to stand on another box, er a ladder fer Goddess Sake, to see into the eyepiece? And whut's this collimation mumbo jumbo. I got to take it apart and do whut to the secondary mirror? Yikes! Then it needs to be collimated ever' time I use it. Jeez Louise! Telescopery is the most challengin' terminal consumer Johnray I have ever come across.

Bob White

Long have I, Ray journeyed round and about and also here and there with the cheerful whistle of Bob White ringing in me ears. But as with much else cheerful, that cheerful whistle is heard less often these days in these parts.

Bob White (Colinus virginianus)is a quail, and humans like to eat quail, or hunt quail, or both sometimes. So Bobwhite is an upland game bird because it generally habitates above sea level and because it gets hunted fer sport and food. So Bobs game if you are. I, Ray et up a fair number of chicken fried Bob White myself, in my youth. Bob was delicious.

But if Ray likes Bob White, and reflectin' on Ray's refined taste, everyone else does too. And the list of Bob White eaters is indeed long: possum, coon, coyote, wildcat, petcat, ant, skunk, pig, hawk, weasel, owl and cow. Actually, cow, except for the most potentially evil cow, don't normally eat Bob, but they do step on the presumptive baby Bobs.

So Bob has a tough time cause everone is out to eat em and his life is generally short, but merry. Bob don't live long so Bob and Lady Bob spend most of their short lives fornicatin', the merry part, or in activities directly related to, or resultin' from, fornication. This bein' the case, Bob and Lady Bob need to be stealthy with all their fornication so they are dressed up in such fashion that they are hard to see, stealthy. Ye have probably walked right by Bob while he was fornicatin' his little self silly, only a few feet away, and not known what was goin' on because Bob was so stealthy in his raiment.

Because Bob and Lady Bob spend most of their short, merry lives fornicatin', they produce lots of little Bobs and Bobbies, or would if the little ones didn't get et. This is the way of Bobs and its what Bobs have taken upon themselves, to be delicious, prolific and stealthy.

Bob's biggest problem these days is findin' someplace to do all his Bobbin. He can't be stealthy in a bemudagrass pasture or a parking lot. And with all the brushy areas with native forbs and grasses intermixed diappearin' under the roaring tide of pavement, rooftops, King Ranch bluestem, bermudagrass and the like, poor Bob has fewer and fewer locales where he can comfortably habitate/fornicate.

But there's always Hope. Because Bob is delicious and lotsa fun fer some to hunt, much thought and even some money has gone into savin' Bob. Fer example, many Bobs are now reared in captivity and then released into what passes fer the wild in these parts. Also, some thought has been given to providin' Bob with a semblance of his natural haunts, the mixed woodland, savannah, brushland, grassland with native forbs and grasses that Bob and Lady Bob ridiculously specialize in fer co-habitation. Ha! I love ecological satire.

Anyway, to sum up, do they sell 28 guage shotguns at the Mall Wart? Did my tax dollars hep pay fer Chitlin' shotgunnin' Harry? Did I pay fer the 28 guage shotgun and the very pellets that took poor Harry down? Can ye whistle, BobWhite?

Druid News Service Editorial (Standard English Version)

Jeez Louise! Here we have a hunting accident that accidentally provides a peek into the world of the rich and powerful (ruling class), and all the "liberal" mainstream media can talk about is what decent men the shootee, Molly Ivins on Harry, and the shootee and shooter, David Brooks on Harry and Chitlin, are. Well that's not quite all. A great host of the "liberal" mainstream media agonized much over the timeline respecting Chitlin's fessing up.

Goodness gracious, why did Chitlin' take such a long time to talk to me about his hunting accident.

Yawn. Predicatable. Yawn. Predictable following from the "liberal" mainstream medias portliness and willfull gullibility and elasticity.

But then Joe Biden weighs in respecting Chitlin's long-standing pattern of behavior, and Joe, as usual, can't resist appealing to the American people for judgement. So Joe declares on TV for Goddess Sake,

The American people aren't stupid.

Hmmmmmmm.

The "liberal" mainstream media and Joe Biden seem to love generalities. Consider Chitlin's decency. All evidence indicates that Chitlin' may be decent in his family life and Chitlin' may very well extend his decency outward to a subset of other similar Chitlin' buddies. Beyond that circle of intimates, Chiltin's decency is questionable and newsworthy. For example, "Mr. Bob-White, do you believe Chitlin' is a decent man." "NO! NO! NO! THREE FIFTIES NO! He's goin' to kill me and eat me. Ye got to hep me. Please, please save me from Chitlin'!"

As to, are the American people stupid?: easy that, maybe, maybe not.

Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) nutans

Crumby.

Whut Ray?

Do ye reckon this effort can count fer my thought?

Yep. If it's a thought.

Oh yeps, it be a thought, all righty then.

Since lately we have taken off in a nasty direction with some of our subtopics, I thought I, Ray would exceed everyone and spell on the especially nasty subtopic, crack plants. Crack plants only grow in cracks in the pavement of ruderal areas frequented by humans. They are the crackies of the Kingdom Plantae, livin' off cigarette butts and human hair and toe jam, just hangin' fer a fix. Today, I visited a crackie in its habitat. Mercy, they sure are nasty. This one had cigarette butts with lipstick and three different colors of human hairs wrapped up in it and no tellin, what else, but I collected some of it anyway cause I wanted to take its picture fer ASS. I have washed my hands four times and in a while I will wash em agin and also wipe down the microscope with antiseptic as part of the process of havin' takin' its picture.

So here tis, loaded up. As ye can see its own hairs are all located on the corners of the capsule where they resemble a Mohawk hairdo, and the styles are bifid to the base. This particular spurge is one of our most abundant crackies.

The Confessional

Father! Father! Please listen to me! Ye got to hep me!

Good lord! What's wrong my son?

I been wicked father, wicked agin and agin. And a few more times after that.

Wicked! What sort of wickedness are we talking about here?

Cucullality Father.

Uh?

Ye know father, watermelons.

Yes I see, uh?

Please, please hep me Father! I been cucullatin’ with watermelons! Whut can I do to save myself?

Uh?, as penance my son you should say four Hail Marys, three fifties of Our Fathers and don’t tell your mother.

Plantality by the Crumby Ovate

Hark! I, the Crumby Ovate meditated all alone on the previous subtopic "The Druids are Stumped?" for quite a while. Eventually, after much cogitation, all alone, except fer an occasional dog fer company, in the stygian darkness of the east pasture, lit up only by the eerie glow of electric lights from the great highway over yonder, many spells er potential spells burbled forth inside my noggin and began to sort themselves hither and yon, attaching to this or that neuron. This process, though you may not think so, was made less onerous on account of my past wickedness.

Examples:

Plantality - the polymorphously erotic with respect to Kingdom Plantae

Euglenophytality - can you spell, flagellation?, Subkingdom Euglenophyta

Psilophytality - those who prefer their action with ferns and/or fern allies?

Angiospermality - whoa!, very naughty, pollen tubes, non-motile sperm, pollen deposited on stigmas, lucky members of the Class Angiospermae are our usual, objects du amour

Dicotyledonality - yikes!, vascular tissue of the stem in a cylinder, plus a choice of censored, Subclass Dicotyledoneae

Pinophytality - oh my goodness, honey, what are you doing with the Christmas tree?, Division Pinophyta (elderly sinners may recall Gymnospermae)

Cucurbitaciality - uh oh!, cucumbers, Genus Cucumis, personally this particular deviation, seems somewhat threatening, to me, on the other hand, sex with watermelons, Genus Citrullus, cheers me up, Family Cucurbitaceae

So these last two especially naughty ones would be cucumisality and citrullality, respectively, for cucmbers and watermelons.

_____

Is yer marriage threatened by cucumisality? Is your wife neglecting you and the sweet babes and the pets and spending too much time at the grocery store? The sad truth is, once a lady finds... (censored).

The Druids are Stumped?

Is there a spell that means "humans enjoying sex with plants?"

Crumby - the Stratosphere - and Lower Down and Even Beyond

Ha, and top o' the afternoon to ye. Aint ye twain sposed to be out in the presumptive bracted twist flower area inspectin' fer baby cotyledons?

Why yes Crumby, that we are, and I Hope

and I, Ray

are fixin' to soujourn there anon. And we leave thee Crumby with that thing there to thy attention. Ye may wish to determine whatever from that thing there . Adieu.

All righty then. Let's get to work here. What's this those two have so pointedly brought to the attention of a fired up Crumby Ovate?

Jeez Louise! Jeez Louise! Jeez Louise! Jeez Louise! How the heck do ye spell that?

All righty then, I can worry about that anon, but fer the time bein' I got to worry about my recent all night interaction with the stratosphere and beyond.

We, that is all the Druids at the CB, plus some of the pets and livestock had to work through the night to catch up. Red set me, the Crumby Ovate, after Ray and me finished up on Sedge Buster, to star gazin' and I was instructed that if anything interesting appeared in the stratosphere or beyond, I was sposed to holler out and everyone would drop whatever they were doin' and assemble at the telescopery. So I lugged the big Lomo out to the east pasture which was easier than usual cause the moon was so dang bright everthin' was lit up real well, including the lawn furntiure that occupies the east lawn in the pecan orchard located just to the west of the east pasture. Ye must, ye see, get clear of the pecan orchard to obtain unobstructed views of the stratosphere, lower down and beyond, and I mention lawn furniture because our particular lawn furniture was manufactured at the Joke Factory so it has a sense of humor.

What the lawn furniture thinks is funny is, tripping us up in the dark when we are toting heavy objects. And sure enough getting yerself thus tripped up is very funny when it happens to someone else. But thanks be to the moon and Her Mighty Light the lawn furniture was easy to spot, even as those chairs and, in particular, the recliner, shifted about their habitat attempting to engage my shins. So I was able to evade them, easily, even toting the big Lomo with the visual acumen afforded by the moonlight, Praise the Goddess.

The lawn furnture with the biggest sense of humor is this un, the recliner. Ye can get some idea of the size of it from the range wand standing next to it. See how long and low slung it be, note those wheels, those wheels promote its quickness, and also its dark green color makes it near invisible, very stealthy, in the dark. Yepper, that un has quite a sense of humor.

Once upon a time I was packmulin' along in the dark through the lawn furniture habitat and this very un run up under me an took me down, flat a face. I can't tell ye whut I was packmulin' along with, fer it might lower their resale value, fer on account of my bein' a Druid and all, I would have to tell the truth and admit they'd been dropped once if we was to resell em, maybe, but I can tell ye that recliner, got a serious spellin' down, from me, The Crumby Ovate, once I figured out I warnt dead. By the way, apparently, many may be alarmed when they hear yer dispute with a lawn furniture in the night and some may apprize the authorities.

So anyhow, I did, last night avoid the lawn furnitures and their senses of humor thanks to the moonlight, Praise the Goddess, and fetch up in the pasture with the telescopery, all righty then. But about the time, 2:30 AM, when all the telescopery was set up satisfactorily, the stratsophere waxed active and all these low clouds swiftly raced across the sky, intermittently.

Now my fortellin' was that the Constellation Lyra would me sufficiently high above the city lights and WMOFSA road lights by 4 AM. And that was an accurate foretellin', intermittently. But by 4:30 AM the clouds waxed so frequent that even the bright beauty Vega would only wink, now and agin, at me. So the best I could do, ever, pertinent to Red's instructions was to holler out once, "Hyer now, everone's to cease whut yer doin and come look at Jupiter." A bunch of Jupiter's moons were lined up on top of Jupiter and that was interesting and fun fer ever'one. Also, fer some reason, even with a supplied low power 25mm UO ortho, there was lotsa detail on old Jupiter, hisself.

But as to Lyra and its Ring Nebula, which is whut The Crumby Ovate was after espyin', after all, that be, one night closer.
____

Give us the Ring.

No, no, no.

Give us the Ring, Druid, or we shall take it from thee, and leave thee ever snuffling in the stygian darkness of the Mall Wart, when and if, the assistant manager pardner associate turns the lights off.

No ye won't, neither. Fer I shall call upon the WG and She shall verily wink the lala out of yer fat boy lalas. Ha!

All righty then Druid, we shall be forced to take the Ring from thee.

WG! Hep me WG! Ye are my Only Hope! These liars and gluttons are attemptin' to steal my ring?

My Goodness Gracious Sakes Alive! What in the great globulosity are those liars and gluttons doin' to My Crumby Ovate? Take that ye liars and gluttons and that as well!

Whoa! The WG verily winked the lala out of those particular liars and gluttons! Thank ye very much WG fer savin' me!, yer Crumby Ovate, frum them liars and gluttons.

Ye are most welcome Crumby. And if ever ye need me agin, just squeak out, Great Goddess! Cerridwen! Arianrhod! Blodeuwedd!, and I, the Great Goddess, shall dispel the liars and gluttons, fer thee.
_____

All righty then!
_____

Ray's Thought for the Day

There, there Ray. It's all righty then. It was just a bad dream. See, I, Hope Remains have brought you a nice big bowl of oatmeal with all your favorite trimmings.

It was terrible, Hope, terrible. I, be shaky and weak still from that nightmare. It was terrible, and then again triplicate terrible. Chitlin' was fixin' to get all my cinnamon buns. Mmmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmm. Smack! Gurgle.

Don't talk with your mouth full Ray.

Mmmph, slurp. Ah! That hit the spot. Thank goodness fer that oatmeal. It has restored me, slightly. Whut's this, Goddess Pertect Me from such perfidy. Avert yer vision Hope, from this here.

Oh my goodness Ray. Whatever have ye espied that alarms thee so? Speak for I can not contain my curiosity, even so mine eyes be averted.

Truly there is no word to describe whut is here espied.

What Ray? Please spell it to me for mine eyes are averted still, no matter the many spells it requires.

Mercy! Two grown men, holding hands, their arms encircling a great tree of the genus Fraxinus and one of the men appears to be......no, no, no. I can't spell what the man appears to be engaged at. There is no spell, fer it.

Then I can no longer stand it Ray, and must gaze upon this wonder.

No Hope, please, please don't!

Three Fifties of Yikes! Oh my goodness gracious sakes alive, that poor man is..........is. How in the world do you spell that?

I told ye not to look! Now yer eyes have espied the same difference as bestiality, fer which even the Druids, have no spell.

Newsflash! Chitlin’ Snacking at an Undisclosed Location

Chitlin’ Cheney, the VP is back to work at an undisclosed location, somewhat recovered from his recent terrible ordeal in Kenedy County, Texas. But just to make sure he is hunky dory, and to keep his appetite satisfied, Chitlin’ has sent out his security details to scour the countryside for delicious cinnamon buns. The security details are under specific orders to acquire all the delicious cinnamon buns in central Texas, and fly back, on private jets with all those cinnamon buns to Chitlin’s undisclosed location. This is just to make sure that Chitlin’ has plenty of delicious cinnamon buns which he needs for brain food and to keep his mouth full so he won’t talk unnecessarily.

Now I, Ms. Rayetta, Press Person, have a man of the people, Mr. Ray Pistrum, a passerby gawking at the camera here, so I shall interview him on this subtopic. Mr. Pistrum, should Chitlin’ acquire all the delicious buns in central Texas using the full power, office and apparently limitless funding of the federal authority to acquire those delicious cinnamon buns for himself?

Huh! No, no, no! Please, please, please! Snuffle! Snuffle, snuffle, snuffle, choke! Whoa!!!!!!

Jeez Louise and Triplicate Orphinks! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! That’s the worst nightmare I, Ray ever had!

Sedge Buster - now spell-checked

Lesson 2

It bears repeating from lesson one that caric sedges with just two stigmas are flat, but not generally quiet as flat as these. For these depicted here are just a little bit immature and the achene (akene), if it was completely mature, would be a little fatter, or thicker and more rounded. So what we have here on the left is an achene. And on the right we have a peryginia. Akenes have to be dissected out of the peryginia before they look like this one. Note the little thingy sticking up on the top of the achene. That's where the style (base of the style) was attached before it fell off. Another name for the achene is ovary sort of. So if all the parts were attached you'd have two stigmas, then the style and its base, then the achene, from top to bottom. There's another achene in the peryginia next door. You just can't see it. Not the teeth on the beak of the achene. You can just barely make them out because they are transparent. Sometimes beaks are toothed, but sometimes they are toothless. Toofers or their absence can be an important key characteristic.

This picture shows two peryginias. The one on the left shows the ventral surface while the one on the right is dorsal side up. When you look at a spike from outside you only see the dorsal surface of the peryginias, or would if the pistallate scales weren't in the way. Another term for dorsal is abaxial which implies the back of the peryginia facing outward. The corresponding name for the ventral side is adaxial. See at the bottoms of the two peryginia? You can see were they were attached to the rachis (central stem) of the spike. Sometimes you have to look at both sides of the peryginia and count the veins. In this case, if the veins are there at all, they are very hard to see. That's on e of the reasons we think this is Carex austrina, cause C. austrina may not have any veins on the peryginia at all.

Bracted-twist flower - baby cotyldedons

These are pictures of very tiny baby bracted twist flowers. Most, if not all, show the cotyledons attached on the bottom near the ground. The purple color and the slightly toothed leaves may help separate these from other baby cotyledons. Actual size is in the neighborhood of 5-10mm. They are habitating in a half inch tray at Pats if everybody would like to go visit them. There may be two pictures of the same one, because I got rattled when Pat threatened to charge me $5.00 for takin' their pictures. But then I started snufflin', so Pat said the pictures would be free if I would quit snufflin'. Tomorrow later, for all of us here at the CB will be up all night until at least 6:30 AM tomorrow, Hope Remains and me, Ray are going out to our presumptive bracted twist flower area to compare the baby cotyledons at that location to these here pictures.

Ray Pistrum fer RGVECB

Ray's Way Tardy Thought for the Day

Dang! First, I, Ray the Normally Punctual Druid, overslept. Then I like to froze to death. Then I like to fidgeted to death. Then I had to go a visitin'. And now, with all that, Red is makin' the whole bunch of us, even unto ever last one of the CB Druids, work through the entire upcomin' into the very wee hours that eventually transpire into the middlin' hours before the dawn. We are stove up as it were with wokr committed, but not undertook so it be No Rest for the Wicked and the Righteous don't need it.

That bein' the case, here's a commencement on the backlog. Meet Tauschia texana which as ye can see blooms in February on the Carrizo Sands and is a Texas endemic carrot, Apiaceae er Umbelliferae if yer old fashioned. Endemic means it's only found in Texas and, in this example, very little of Texas, to boot. I was foolish not to take an in focus picture of the basal rosette, but maybe someone can supply me with un, please. But the flowers are a nice color of yellow, much like the yellow streak down a coward's back.

Here's a closeup.

Exclusive! Druid News Service Interview

Mercy! The Druid News Service has been granted an exclusive interview with the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Mr. Hunky Hastert.

Mr. Hunky, how is Chitlin' doing in the wake of his terrible ordeal?

Well Miss Druidess of the Druid News Service, the Vice President, of course called me up, soon after his return to the capitol. After all I, Hunky follow hard upon Chitlin' in the line of succession to the crown and he wanted to assure me that he was Okie Dokie and was enjoying some nice meals and snacks to calm his nerves. By the way, those certainly are attractive purple suede, high-heeled boots adorning your very pretty legs. And isn't that an Elvis charm on your ankle bracelet?

Why thank you Hunky, you are so sweet to notice! And yes, it is an Elvis Charm. But Hunky, you must have been greatly alarmed by a phone call from Chitlin', given the harrowing circumstances of late down in Kenedy County. What did you say to Chitlin'?

It's Rayetta isn't it? Such a pretty name, Rayetta, for such a pretty lady.

Hmmmmmm. All righty then, Hunky. Do you perhaps remember this is TV?

Newsflash! Chitlin' Cheney Safe in D.C.

Oh, my goodness gracious, Chitlin' Cheney is safe and back in the capitol city, where, due to security concerns, Chitlin' has enjoyed several delicious meals and snacks to shore him up following his terrible ordeal and haggering jet ride back to D.C. Meantime, communists or Muslim terrorists informed on Chitlin' for not having a quail stamp on his hunting license. Pressured by this revelation, somehow made public, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department is in the process of sending Chitlin' a warning citation by mail, or e-mail, maybe. But the burning question remains, did Chitlin' actually shotgun any quail? Can you whistle, bob - white?

SEDGE BUSTER

Hey ho, Crumby O.

Well now Ray. Aint ye chipper.

Yepper. I, Ray be plenty chipper fer the nonce, all righty then.

What we got here in the venue since yesterday?

Oh my goodness, there might be a thing er two. Ye might want to check upon the most recent and apparent spurge du jour, Crumby O, my bosom buddy.

Er. Er. Er. Did ye run this un through the spurge buster gamut, Ray?

Noper. That all come to me in a vision Crumby. The Goddess Herself says to me, Ray, that particular sprurge there that Crumby couldn’t figure out back in the dim past is now revealed to thee, Ray the Sweet and Smart Druid, as Chamaesyce fendleri.

Dang it Ray! Ye be aggravatin’ me severely. Did ye key it or not?

Mebbe, mebbe not.

All righty then. Mebbe, the LDR can just run a truth test on ye regardin’ the veracity of yer account. I reckon the LDR can swiftly ascertain whether me bosom companion is in direct communication with the WG on the subtopic spurge identification, er not.

Ha! The Goddess also told me that I was exempt from testin’ by my sister on account of Rayetta is too mean to test me because I am so sweet. The WG said it was a balance issue.

All righty then, sweetie. I, The Crumby Ovate, be runnin’ this through the spurge buster gamut, and if it aint what ye say it be, then we shall be forced to get up a heretic trial where ye shall find yerself a standin’ tall afore Badgemagus.

Oh my goodness Crumby. I shall be soooooo scared. I shall verily be very scared indeed. So scared, all righty then, that I might just spell everthin’ I know on the subtopic, grab baggin’.

Er. Er. Er. All righty then. Let’s ferget the heretic trial fer the nonce. Did ye pull the Phaestoglochin sheets?

Yepper, though my poor little hands was near froze off by that terrible ordeal, I, Ray though chilled far colder than any of the little witches’ teats ever, persevered and pulled a sheet.

Ye pulled one sheet?

Yepper, and what a dreadful ordeal that was.

All righty then. Which one did ye pull?

Ye Crumby, have it spelled as Carex austrina.

Umh hmmh. And did the Goddess talk with ye about this particular sedge also?

Yepper, but She told me to keep Her Words a Secret.

Jeez Louise! Ray, ye are a well known tribulation. Give it here now, fer I shall run it through the gamut yet once more and then we can load er up.

All righty then.
_____

Harrrrruuuuuuuuh!

It’s time fer the first installment of SEDGE BUSTER brought to ye by RGVECB and a Subset of the Druidry in these parts.
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Lesson 1

The sedges are a mighty big bunch of little wonders, all righty then, Praise the Goddess. There are a great many of them, indeed, all socked by the taxonomists into the whopping great Family Cyperaceace. But the Druid sedge busters of these parts, have randomly chosen the whopping big genus Carex, a subset of the Cyperaceae to start off what promises to be a fairly lengthy subtopic. For sedges are not only many, but troubling as well. So we undertake this task to spell the sedge busters of the future to the extent that there is a future with sedge busters in it. Also, Carex is a good place to start because they are fixing to flower in these parts if we ever get enough rain.

With sedges ye have to learn a good many spells before ye can carry on about them. So the very first thing we are going to do, fer ye, is put up a picture er two, that spells the various parts. Here somewhere be the first un.
_____

Crumby. You are spelling in Druidese. Spell in English like a good lad.

Aw shucks. All righty then, Arkdruid.
_____

This picture is of a terminal spike, a group of flowers at the very tip top of this caric sedge which we think is Carex austrina. Generally, there are a bunch of lateral spikes below this terminal one. There are a whole bunch of flowers in this spike, spirally arranged. At the very tip top there are some male flowers. The rest of the flowers below the male ones are all female. That makes this spike, bisexual, and also it is spelled androgynous when the male flowers are at the tip top and the female ones are down below. Other parts identified in this introductory lesson are the pistillate (female flower) scale that covers one side of the female fruit peryginia. Also note that the female flowers have two stigmas, not three. This is charactereistic of caric sedges that have flat peryginia as we shall certainly see in the upcoming Lesson 2.

Newsflash! Chitlin' Cheney Goes Crazier

All righty then. A bunch of the rich and powerful took a break from the golf course for the sake of variety and assembled on a small ranch, 50,000 acres, in Kenedy County down in south Texas. They went a bird huntin'. But Chitlin' Cheney was along and Chitlin' went crazier and shotgunned old Harry Whittington; local real estate tycoon, property right's lawyer and financier of Republican machinations. Chitlin's security team though was on the spot, naturally, so they patched Whittington up and in two shakes of a quail's tail had him on a helicopter to the hospital in Corpus Christi. Eyewitness accounts do not make clear why Chitlin's security team intervened and kept Chitlin' from finishing the old man off.

Euphorbia (Chamaesyce) fendleri

Ha! Look at this one Hope. It's labeled Euphorbia and the rest of its epitaph is erased. That Crumby is such a lala he labels in pencil so he can erase the record of his wicked past. Did I tell ye how mean the twain of em was to me this mornin, that sister of mine especially?

Yes, you did touch on that subject Ray.

Runnin' me off and sendin' me out in the sub zero dead plant storage area fer Goddess Sake. Jeez Louise it was so cold out there a possum was froze to the washin' machine. That possum sure will be delicious.

Ray! We're not going to eat a possum, are we?

Well ordinarily we wouldn't, but this particualr possum was sincerely dead and yet tolerably fresh, bein' froze and all, so I figure, waste not want not. It's us er the compost er the dogs ere the pigs will get em.

How do you cook possum Ray?

Well now, possum is a might on the greasy side so the best way is to pop him in the oven in a big kettle with a grease rack on the bottom and cook him at about 350 degrees fer a couple of hours and most of the grease will run off em. Then ye can pop in some whole sweet taters er apples and let them bake in their with that possum fer about another hour. Then he's ready. Mmm mmmmm. Delicious!

My goodness gracious Ray. I don't think I care for any possum. I might pass on the possum, all righty then.

Ye don't know what ye shall be missin', but I can understand ye not wishin' to eat possum much. It's probably the way they grin at ye. It's hard to eat a little wonder that grins at ye. Then too, they are a tad on the unusual in their appearance with them nasty lookin' little pink feet. They are a sight, indeed. One time I reached down in a big old trash can without lookin' first, and Praise the Goddess, fer a chance I had some gloves on, fer this baby possum bit on to that glove and hung on fer dear life, greein at me the whole time. I was so dang took a back I just stood there a watchin this youngster of a possum, no bigger that a large roof rat hangin' on my glove. After awhile that possum and the glove fell off and derned if that possum didn't race off with my glove, but I hollered at that particular possum, let loose a that glove, so then he dropped that glove and proceeded on his way.

Goodness Ray. You are so brave. Why were you going through the trash can?

Well Hope, I had a number of trash cans that I visited on a regular basis in those days fer a variety of reasons, all of which I don't precisely recollect and maybe don't particulary wish to recall in any great detail. Perhaps we should change the spell fer the nonce, fer I, Ray, am waxin' nostalgic fer them good ol' happy days when alterantively I should be front and center with this here spurge du jour. Ha! This will be a good un fer Crumby to consider in the starry afore dawn. And won't Rayetta the Mean Druidess be mighty surprised at my overarchin' productivity. Want to hep me load er up?

Why surely I would Ray.

All righty then. Crumby ran across this one in Taylor, County, '97. It has no seeds, but I took a couple of pictures anyhow, due to its interesting appendages.

Ray, I don't see any appendages.

Yer an astute observer yet agin, Hope, fer it apparently has none, er barely.

On the other hand, ye may be able to discern the barely appendages in this picture. Certain they are a far cry from the general appendages these particular spurges of this genus generally possess.
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All righty then. Won't Crumby be delighted that his bosom companion has identified, a scant eight rides on the merry-go-round hence, one of his spurges, fer em. Ha! How bout a looksee at the moon, fer She is high in the sky?

All righty then, a moonlight stroll with Ray the spurge buster.

Yikes! Sedge Buster! I need to put up a Phaestoglchin too, but such can await the wee hours. Let us stroll in the moonlight.